


Come Home

by malu (orphan_account)



Category: MotoGP RPF, Motorcycling RPF, Sports RPF
Genre: AU, Angst and Fluff and Smut, First Kiss, First Time, Implied/Referenced Cheating, Implied/Referenced Rape/Non-con, M/M, Motocross/Garage AU, The usual mix of
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-07-03
Updated: 2016-01-31
Packaged: 2018-04-07 13:01:11
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Underage
Chapters: 46
Words: 93,264
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4264155
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/malu
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Dani messed up and is offered a second chance... will he succeed?</p><p>Is hooking up with his new boss or coworker really going to help his matters? And what should he do when he realizes he has fallen head over heels for a teenager, who's also his boss's prodigy? Dani's new life is off to a turbulent start, that much is sure.</p><p> <b>AU where Marc is a motocross rider, Vale and Jorge own a garage and Dani has a dark side ;) Also: I 'aged' everyone back to 2010 so that I'll have Marc back in school.</b></p><p>  <em>I may not have gone where I intended to go, but I think I’ve ended up where I needed to be. ~ Douglas Adams</em></p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Prelude

**Author's Note:**

> **Not real! Just playing!**
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> ♥

”So, you’re all packed and set to go?“

“Yes, mom.”

“You don’t look very happy.”

“Because I’m not. I’m gonna be living right at the end of the world in the middle of nowhere. I don’t even know anyone there.”

“Daniel, stop it, now.” She frowns, finger waggling warningly, “It’s a giant chance, one you might not get again. Not after-“

“Mom, not again.” He tries to plead with his eyes, begging her not to go through this again. Not today. “And I know. Believe me, I _know_.”

He sighs and shrugs, feeling more than a little helpless. Because, yeah, it’s a great chance and most likely his last and he _is_ grateful. Still… the prospect of his new job? Or rather the place it’s at? Could be better. So much better. 

With a knowing smile, she cups his cheeks, presses a kiss to his forehead.

“Stop the pouting son, it’s not a good look for you. And now, off you are. Be careful on that bike!”

“Yes mom,” he says, voice between slightly annoyed and slightly breaking, knowing they’ll be quite a bit apart from now on. “And… tell Dad I’m sorry, again.”

She nods and he sees her chew on her lip and fighting tears. It’s too much to bear, too much to know that he’s to blame for all of this mess and so he does what he is best at – leaving them behind. Dani waves a quick goodbye, watches her wave back and then he puts on his helmet without looking back. Deep breath. Visor down. And gas.

_Sorry, mom._

***

”Marc?”

”Mhm?”

”Where do you think you’re going?”

”Vale’s, pick up the new parts.”

”Don’t you think that can wait until Monday?”

”No, I wanted to work on the bike tomorrow, I-“

”Marc, seriously, tell me you didn’t forget?”

He cringes and rummages his brain, well aware that this won’t end well.

”Marc, your grandpa is celebrating his birthday tomorrow and we’re supposed to be at their place for lunch. There is _no_ way you’re turning up there with oil under your fingernails and smelling like a petrol station.”

Well. Shit. He _had_ forgotten about that.

”Mom, if the track was open, I wouldn’t be there at all, I’d be training and-“

”Yeah, if. The track’s closed though because of all the rain so you have all the time in the world to be there. With your family. For once. Don’t you think you owe him that much respect?”

_Great. The guilt trip approach._

Marc sighs and resigns to fate, small part of him knowing that she’s actually not even wrong, but dominant and defiant part of him convinced she has no right whatsoever to interfere.

”Okay. But I can go over to Pol’s, right?”

”Depends,” she says dryly, arms crossed in front of her chest.

”On?” Her tone makes him fear the worst.

”Have you done the dishes and finished that paper you’ll need to turn in?”

_Shit._

***

”You hired a new mechanic?”

Vale’s eyes fly up from the magazine, meeting his partner’s glare.

”Yeah, we agreed that we need one?”

”And I wasn’t involved in the discussion because…?”

”We also agreed that I am responsible for administration?”

”And who is he? Do I know him?”

”Don’t think so, he’s not from here. A friend recommended him. He used to ride.”

Vale tries to make it sound convincing, tries to hide the little white lie and the giant heap of responsibility he feels here.

”Huh. Well, I hope you’re friend has better common sense at judging people than you do.”

_Careful there… I picked you, too._

Vale bites back on that comment though, no point in adding oil to the fire. Instead, he shrugs and turns his attention back on the magazine in his hands, hoping the message gets across. Talk is over.

”When does he start?”

_Shit._

”Monday.”

He mentally prepares for the inevitable outbreak.

”Monday? Seriously? And you were going to tell me when exactly? Monday when I meet him in the garage? Vale, I can’t believe you’d make such a decision without involving me. Really, this doesn’t work, it totally doesn’t work. I can’t lead a business with you when you’re behaving like, … like…, oh, when you’re like this.”

Vale watches him flail and pace and tunes out the ranting, because no, this is not exactly new. He wonders if it’ll always be like this from now on. Because he remembers when they were still friends – and that had been so much better.

”Listen, Jorge,” he says, feeling worn out by everything and putting the magazine back on the counter, “I really have to go and pick up Luca at his mother’s now.” Vale swallows hard and locks eyes with the younger man. “I’m sorry, okay? I’m really sorry. I’ll make it up to you. And I'm sure it’s a great guy.”

With that, he motions to leave, descending the stairs with a tired sigh.

”At least tell me his name,” Jorge yells behind him.

”Daniel. Daniel Pedrosa.”

 _Cause I’ve been waiting for you_  
_For so long_


	2. The Turning Point

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Important request: This, even more than Mar, makes me feel very, very exposed and I've been holding this back for a while. Because the places you get to know here, they're real. And I think that when you live here, you'll inevitable recognize that. So in case (and the absolute coincidence would really blow my mind) that you know what region I'm writing about: please be quiet about that. If you want to talk to me about it, message me on tumblr, but don't write any names/places in the comments, I'd freak out if this would be linked to the actual villages or people on google.
> 
> Also: I'm very sorry that I'm much slower with replies nowadays, I turned off the notifications and I'm usually more occupied than I used to. Still, I treasure every bit of feedback you're leaving and I very much love you for it ♥

He can’t say that it’s an ugly place. Actually, he supposes, once you’re from the city and get here for a vacation, it could be quite scenic. It’s green, with lots of fields and pasture, woods and hedges. Next to the road, he sees scattered little farms, all looking extremely neat, with well-tended gardens. There are cows and horses and the occasional flock of sheep. And he picked an admittedly beautiful day to come with a cloudless blue sky above it all. Not necessarily a bad place for a quiet vacation. 

But he doesn’t see a single thing that makes it an attractive place to live at permanently. Because not only that it’s rural – it’s also horribly isolated. He’s left the highway almost an hour ago and has passed nothing that looks much like a city. The town Alberto called “the city” when they talked about this, it barely seemed like a small town when he rode past it. And everything after seems to be villages or nothingness. Actually, the place he’s apparently going to live at, looks so little like a “place” – he almost misses the sign and has to break at full force to avoid speeding. And a bitter part of him asks himself whether these signs are justified and whether you need city limits for a village that’s well… a little difficult to make out. 

It gets a bitter better then when he passes a restaurant and a gas station. At least they have some sort of civilization after all. Then there’s the bank the building after that should be the garage he’ll be working at, so he slows down a little. Not like there’s anyone driving behind him who’d bother. The place is obviously closed, as it’s late afternoon already, but it looks nice, Dani reluctantly gives it that much. Neat and orderly, nice red brick building, another well-tended front yard (seriously, what is it with gardening everywhere here??). There’s a supermarket next to it and Dani doesn’t miss how it’s been “Rossi’s station”, “Rossi’s MXShop” and “Rossi’s supermarket” and he wonders just what exactly he’d gotten himself into now.

His apartment should be in the street left after the church and Dani finds the house quickly – because duh, there’s only very few apartment buildings here. It’s nothing special, three stories, red brick, everything looking terribly neat once again and he sighs again. He parks the bike, takes his bag and steps inside, running right into a middle-aged, rather big woman who flashes him a huge smile.

“Hi, you must be the new guy, right? Alberto mentioned you! How do you like it here so far?”

Dani looks at her, confused and a bit overwhelmed and she seems to sense it.

“Sorry… I guess you’ll have to arrive properly first. I’m Maria, I live in the apartment across from yours.” 

She’s holding her hand out and he awkwardly balances with the helmet and the bag to reach out and take it.

“Dani, hi.”

_How much did Alberto tell everybody about me? Do you all know?_

“I’ll let you settle then! Let me know if you need anything! But I think Alberto took care of most of it.”

_Well, that’s what Alberto had promised him, so he better._

”Thanks,” he mumbles, already slightly absentmindedly.

The thing is, he _wants_ to hate this place and people being this nice and welcoming doesn’t exactly make that plan easier. And everything looks so nice. Damned, there’s even a couple of potted plants in the hallway. And the floor looks immaculate enough to eat of it. Nothing like the graffiti stained walls toilet-like smell in the building he grew up in with his parents. Dani walks up the stairs and checks the floor. Only two apartments on each floor and the left door with the light blue, flowery welcome mat is most certainly Maria’s. So he takes the right and walks into his new home that couldn’t feel more alien right now. It’s so big, so freaking big, bedroom, living room, kitchen, bathroom, hallway… and Alberto, as promised, took care that there’s a bed and a table with chairs already there. The rest would be up to Dani. It’s nice and modern and very clean. And everything, really everything about that makes Dani unreasonably angry.

After a while of standing around helplessly and dropping his stuff in a corner, he finds that Alberto took care that the fridge is stocked with some basic commodities. Dani flops down on his new bed with a bottle of beer in his hand, the otherwise empty bedroom feeling bare, impersonal.

_So this is home now._

_***_

”Hey there, how’s it going buddy? Your owner home, too?”

Marc ruffles the little Husky and makes his way to the front door that’s swinging wide open already, revealing a widely grinning Pol.

”Hey Marc, made it out of Alcatraz okay?”

Pol pulls him inside, casually nudging his shoulder and Marc feels himself relax, taking in the relaxed atmosphere at the Espargaro’s place gratefully after a long afternoon at his desk. He feels almost as much at home here as at his parents’, which is now surprise considering how much time he spends here.

”Pff. Can’t say mom made this easy, but yeah, I escaped. At least for the night. Tomorrow I won’t be around, my granddad is celebrating his birthday. All big and formal, entire family, with coffee and cake and formal dinner. Gah.”

”Oh mate, one day your mom will have my head for corrupting her little angel with softdrinks and bad TV.”

”Sure, because having a coke and watching Kill Bill is totally evil.”

They flop down on the couch, feet on the coffee table, cold beverages ready already.

”Well, I also ordered pizza. So totally evil and vicious.”

They both laugh and bump shoulders, Pol setting up their choice of DVD.

”Seriously, I have to be the most boring teenager in the entire world,” Marc mumbles after a while, devouring a piece of pizza - not quite in accordance with his normal diet – and slightly lost in thought instead of watching Uma Thurman kick ass.

”Mhm,” Pol chews and shrugs, then petting Enea’s head, the dog safely curled up on the cushions between them“I feel you. Worth it though, don’t you think?”

”True, true,” Marc mumbles. Though nowadays, he’s sometimes not so sure. Not that it’s not as fun as it used to be, not that he wants to give up on his goals. But there’s a certain loneliness attached to things lately, a feeling of being left out, when everybody at school seems to be doing such different things. And when there are more and more steady, serious couples around him. With hand-holding, anniversaries, Valentine’s day. Meeting the parents. All things he’s missing out of. He sighs and knows he has to stop overthinking this, because it’s not helping. And probably, he’s only reacting this way because it’s been a lot of work lately, keeping up with everything, final exams approaching and a new season about to begin. It’s harder than he expected it to be.

”Hey,” he says, forcing himself to be cheery, “didn’t your mom say Eina shouldn’t be on the couch anymore?”

”My mom’s not here, is she? And look how happy it makes her!”

The husky does look rather content and Marc thinks it would purr if it could when he starts rubbing her ears. With a greedy look, he grabs for the next piece of pizza, finally turning his attention back to the massacre on screen. 

_Pizza, coke and a movie. Could be worse after all._

***

”So, how’d Jorge take the news?”

Linda is looking up at him, her hand stirring the pasta and her smile still making him weak in the knees. _Coming home is so much better when it means coming home to you._

”You know him, grumpy as usual,” Vale presses a kiss to her hair, inhaling the smell of her shampoo, “but as they say, dogs who bark won’t bite.”

”Oh dear, you guys have issues,” she sighs, but he can hear that she’s smiling through it, only pretending to be annoyed.

”He has issues. I’m just being reasonable and thinking rationally. And after all, it’s not my fault that-“

”Vale, not again,” she silences him with a kiss and looks over to Luca, who’s still standing in the doorway, looking almost a bit intimidated and shuffling his feet as if he didn’t know where to go first.

”Honey, get your backpack in your bedroom and take your shoes off, we’ll have dinner in a minute. Did you have a good day at school?”

He sees Luca blush a little and then nod eagerly.

”Yes, yes, it was really good. I will be back in a minute.”

The boy hurries away, all lanky, bony teenager and it almost hurts how much he reminds Vale of himself at that age.

”You said _your room_ ”, he whispers, pressing another kiss into her hair, arm snaking around her waist.

”Well, it’s his room, now, right?”

She turns in his arms, hands around his neck, pulling him down for a brief kiss.

”Vale, it’s okay with me, really. I don’t mind at all. He’s a great boy.”

_That he is, that he is._

_Where do I go from here?_  
_How do I find my way?_  
_When is it loud and clear?_  
_That there's no turning back_ _No looking back_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Quote from _The turning poing_ , Toto


	3. Monday, Monday

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ♥

His alarm goes off far too early the following Monday and he’s tempted to curl back up and ignore. _“He’s a good guy, Dani. And he’ll give you a shot. Don’t waist it.”_ Alberto’s voice is ringing in his ears. _Well. Okay. Give it a shot. I can do that._ And then, it’s not like he has a choice now, does he? And he untangles from the sheets, sleepwalking into the shower. He’d spent the entire weekend on his laptop, watching movies and listening to music and desperately trying to hide from the outside world that seems equally scary and annoying. Sure, he’d talked to Alberto and later also his mom on the phone for a bit, but that’s all the contact he could deal with and he most certainly doesn’t feel ready to go to that garage and meet the man who might be… well, nothing less than his savior.

The seriously frightening thing about having a chance is that it puts pressure on him. Lots of it. Possibly more than Dani can deal with right now. _”Don’t waist it.”_ Alberto’s voice, still ringing in his head, like a mantra. And he skips breakfast, because he feels so jittery and skittish that he thinks he’d get sick if he ate anything. Before he leaves, he takes a last moment sitting at his kitchen table, taking out the crumpled picture and staring at the familiar face. _I hope you’d be proud of me, babe._

It’s close enough to walk, he figures, but then still decides to take the bike. Part of him hopes that riding will calm him down. It usually does, even after everything it normally helps him settle. He’s too early, too, but that’s recommended on a first day at a new job. And there’s a lump in his throat that’s so big, Dani doubts he’ll be able to speak at all. From what he’s been told, it will only be three people at the garage, Mr. Rossi, the owner, who hired him, his business partner, a mister Lorenzo whom Alberto called _”difficult but loyal” and Dani himself. And the job itself, mechanic at a garage specialized in motocross, owned by one of the best riders of the past years, it would be a dream coming true - if only the circumstances were different._

***

”Marc, are you home this afternoon?”

”Got to pick up something at Vale’s, after that, yeah. Why?”

He eyes his brother suspiciously, knowing that these questions, if voiced by Alex, usually mean some favor.

”There’s this history paper that I have to turn in and you know how much Mrs. Thomas hates me.”

”Hates us,” Marc corrects with a smirk. Not that the hate wouldn’t be mutual. Or slightly deserved.

”And that involves me because…”

”I know at what time you got home Friday night.”

Alex leaves the sentences hanging and damned, Marc hates the smug look on his brother’s face. Though maybe, just maybe, he is slightly proud of the monster he’s created.

”Just let me know the topic and how many words.”

Marc knows a lost cause when he sees one and leaves the breakfast table, yelling a final “Bye mom, bye dad.” up the stairs. “Oh and mom, Alex drank the milk straight from the bottle again.”

Little mercies… 

***

So not only has Vale hired that Casey-replacement without asking, no, now he’s also not here when the guy starts working. _Great._ And yeah, Jorge would be understanding, because of Luca and because the rational part of him understands that Vale needs to deal with his half-brother’s issues first. But lately, everything and anything Vale does aggravates him beyond reason. Which, Jorge thinks bitterly, shouldn’t come as a surprise after what Vale had done.

He hears a bike pull up the driveway and thinks it’s safe to assume that it’s the new guy. _At least he’s super punctual._ Jorge sighs and puts away his coffee and his paper. He even makes the effort to force something like a face into his face. _It’s not his fault that you hate Vale… give him a chance and don’t take it out on him._ Emilio’s words. Of course Emilio would be rational about _this_.

The door swings open with its usual soft ring, designed to announce customers and it reveals a short, dark haired man holding a helmet that looks huge in his hands. He’s _really_ pretty short. 

”Hi…I’m Daniel Pedrosa. I’m… uh-“

The stammering and blushing would be cute if Jorge wasn’t still angry at Vale for hiring the guy in the first place.

”Hi, I’m Jorge. I’m sure you’ve heard about me?”

The smaller nods and Jorge tries to keep smiling, holding his hand out.

”Good… Vale will arrive in a few, I think, he just has to take care of something personal. Maybe until then we’ll get started with a brief tour?”

Jorge wonders if his voice gives away how forced the cheeriness is.

”Uh, yes, sure. Yes, that would be great. Can I leave my helmet here maybe?”

”Sure, no problem.” He waits for the other to put his stuff down and realizes that he’s shaking. _Wow. You’re _really_ nervous. Do I look that grumpy?_

Jorge resolves to try even harder to be cheery – which might just make matters worse as he’s probably not the best actor around. _That would be Vale._ He walks the other man, who coincidentally seems to be his age much more than Vale’s, through the facilities, explaining bits and pieces here and there.

”So, you just moved here?”

Maybe polite small talk would help to at least make the other stop shaking?

“Uh, yes. Just on Friday.”

”How do you like it here so far?”

”I haven’t seen much yet, so I don’t really know? But it seems okay? And it’s nice of Mister Rossi to give me a chance, especially after –“ The other snaps his mouth shut hastily, as if he’d realized he’d said too much.

But really, Mister Rossi – Jorge almost cracks up there and then. Not that he doesn’t get suspicious about the whole “give me a chance thing” and he would sure love to know what that is all about, but then he long knew that Vale’s sudden hire would have some weird background to it and though it makes him angry, Jorge knows he’ll just have to accept it. Though he’ll love to watch it all go up in flames. But Mister Rossi…. Jorge almost giggles out loud. He isn’t sure he’s ever heard Vale addressed as Mister Rossi before. And he bites his lip again, not wanting to start laughing out loud. _Mister Rossi… now this should be fun._

”Oh, by the way, I’ll be out at noon because I’m picking up a bike and in case it comes up, this is the new cylinder and pistons for Marquez’s bike. If he asks, we’ve finished the honing and it should all measure up to his request.”

He sees the other pick up the parts that he’s shown him, hands suddenly not shaking one bit anymore and he sees the appreciative look, the knowing touch of the man’s fingers.

_So you have no clue about cross, because you sure haven’t reacted to the mention of Marquez – but you seem to know a lot about your job._

***

He gets there a bit after ten, which is far from his usual standards. Though he remembers a time, where’d just be going to bed, too. _I _have_ come a long way since then._

Their heads both jerk around and he faces a tense Jorge, who for once seems grateful about his arrival and a … well… smallish? man, whose eyes meet his almost fearfully. No, definitely fearfully. Somewhere between kicked puppy and lost kitten, Vale thinks. And well, he’s taking a risk by hiring only by Alberto’s recommendation, but he also feels that he’s been lucky to have gotten as many chances as he needed to get here, so it’s his obligation to return the favor.

”Hi Jorge,” he mumbles in passing and holds his hand out to the new guy, “Hi, I’m Vale and you must be Daniel, right?”

”Dani, yes.”

_Did you just blush? Are your fingers always this cold? Did Jorge intimidate you? Am _I_ intimidating you?_

Vale checks the other man out properly, finding him just on the right sight of muscular and pretty tan for March. And these puppy dog eyes. Vale sighs. If that guy keeps looking at him in that way, he’ll not only have to motherhen Luca but also his employee. Casey certainly never looked at him like this, almost as if he could fire him any moment. Or hit him.

_Huh. This is new._

But then, Casey didn’t quite come with as much baggage as Daniel. _Dani_ , the voice in his head corrects and that’s when he realizes he might be staring.

”So, why don’t I take you back into the garage and show you the PW that came in yesterday? It needs to be checked out thoroughly and I suppose you’ll have to fix the piston rings.”

Vale puts on his broadest grin and it seems to help, the other’s eyes lighting up instantly.

_Looks like you’re passionate about this._

Vale watches the other work with full focus and determination, each move measured and experienced, the shakiness gone completely. He tries to be casual, tries not to stare too much while he changes the tires on Luca’s bike. But he sure likes the way Dani is doing this, especially since he’s not even batting an eyelid about the fact that it’s a kid’s bike he’s working on. And Vale’s takes that very seriously, every bike, from a PW to a 450 cc, deserves the same amount of dedication. Rossi’s garage has a reputation to keep up after all.

***

”Oh and Alex?” Marc’s voice switches to vicious, “I think you’ll write that paper yourself. I saw you with Rins during the ten o’clock break. You guys really shouldn’t do that stuff so publicly, you know?”

With a broad grin on his face he ends the call, not waiting for his younger brother’s reaction. _Marc 1, Alex 0_

He stops his bike on Vale’s driveway and his attention is caught by a new road bike, making him hum appreciatively. It’s an impressive CBR500, one he would have noticed if he’d seen it before. And right, Vale mentioned a new mechanic starting today. Must be his and wow, he seems to have a decent taste in bikes.

He walks right into the garage, not bothering with the showroom and feeling very much at home here and he literally stumbles over a – well… rather short man who curses, almost drops something and glares at him briefly before retreating and changing his look to questioning.

”Sorry, so sorry,” Marc hurries to say, eyes transfixed by the other’s face for a moment. _You look younger than I thought you’d be… but maybe that’s the height._ “I’m Marc Marquez, I’m here to pick up some parts.”

He holds his hand out, tries to flash a bright smile and sees the other wipe his hand reluctantly before taking his hand briefly.

”I’m Daniel Pedrosa, the new mechanic. If you just give me a second I’ll get them for you.”

The small man hurries away.

”Jorge said to tell you the honing has been done.”

_I expected no less._

***

_So your dad sent you to pick up the parts for his bike, huh?_

Dani secretly watches the young man who’s studying the parts as if he had any clue what he was doing. Dressed in designer brands from head to toe, sunglasses casually behind his ears – even if it’s only March. And a smile as if the world belonged to him.

”Great, these look perfect. Then I’ll get going and work on my bike for a bit. Bye, Dani! Hope I’ll see you around.”

_Did you just wink at me? And seriously, work on _your_ bike? As if you’d own a bike that requires these. Or knew what to do with them. But I’m sure your Daddy is happy to get them. What a brat._

_A very beautiful brat. But still a brat._

_Monday, Monday, can't trust that day;_  
_Monday, Monday, sometimes it just turns out that way._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> From _Monday, Monday_ , The Mamas and the Papas


	4. The Call

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, I'm not really happy with it, but it's kind of important for the plot (should have stayed with PWP, I was happy there... ;) ). And I don't really feel it deserves to be a separate chapter. But then it didn't fit into the previous nor into the next and therefore, here it is.

Tuesday morning, he’s not as angry at the alarm as he was on Monday. Maybe he is even slightly less nervous, now that he knows that the guys at the garage are mostly okay. Of course, Alberto was right about Lorenzo being grumpy, but Dani hadn’t missed that he’d at least made an effort to make Dani feel welcome. Vale seems really nice and fun, judging by first impressions. Going by Alberto’s explanations and the pictures, articles and trophies cluttering the place, he must be some kind of legend in his sport. Dani wouldn’t know, he has a good knowledge about road racing, but motocross is something he hasn’t followed or tried. Though that might change any day now, as Vale had explained that there’s a track, only a few minutes down the street, where they all train at least twice a week. And he’d invited Dani already, offering to lend him a bike and everything. Okay, he’d also made a joke about having to check whether they’d had enough children’s’ clothing stocked, but Dani knows these. And there hadn’t been any true malice in the older man’s voice.

So, Dani figures, he’ll be trying motocross next afternoon. It won’t hurt, he thinks, because although at the end of the day, a bike is a bike, riding one of these would help him to understand them better and then his work at the garage would also profit from the experience. And _Vale’s garage_ apparently does motocross and enduro exclusively. Also, it’s not like Dani has anything else to do with his afternoons and evenings and the prospect of having a few drinks with a few of the guys at the track after training, something Vale told him was a regular part of their routine, that prospect is quite tempting.

He arrives with a tentative smile and with much calmer nerves and is again greeted by a slightly grumpy Jorge Lorenzo who tries to smile. While Dani works, he’s surprised how quickly they’re establishing a routine. It hasn’t even taken a day. Vale had checked his work on that first PW he’d fixed yesterday, approved and since then, just lets Dani work on whatever bike was next to be dealt with. The trust in his abilities surprises Dani. It's certainly a new experience for him. In the best possible way. It’s strange, he thinks, just how much work they have to do. It’s such a tiny village, he can’t imagine where all these bikes even come from. And there’s plenty to do, not a moment of boredom for him, while he fixes machine after machine. 

Sometimes, Vale sticks around, too, and Dani can’t help but marvel the way these long slender fingers work. He’s quick and efficient, but there’s a certain affection towards anything he touches, a passion in his eyes that lights up whenever he enters the room and sees the bikes. It’s damned impressive. But Vale is also in the shop for quite some time of the day, sometimes coming in with clients who either want to buy or need something repaired. Dani is introduced to each one and so far, everybody had been friendly and welcoming, apparently glad there’s a new guy. These village-people apparently are very determined to make it hard for him to hate their place. And that's weird, because before his move, everybody had warned him how stubborn people from the countryside would be and how difficult he'd find it to fit in.

Jorge is present much less than Vale. The younger partner seems to be driving a lot to pick up stuff and also spends many hours in the office upstairs, seemingly the one responsible for accounting and negotiations with their business partners. But when he’s around, usually to ask something from Vale, Dani can still see that he’s trying to make an effort, trying to smile and yeah, he can appreciate that. He understands how it feels, when you’re just not in the mood to hug and cuddle everyone and when you’re not the type to run around smiling all the time. Because your head is elsewhere, because you worry, because your mood just won’t suit. Dani has had his share of people calling him grumpy, so that’s that. 

They take occasional cigarette breaks together, sometimes even all three of them, but they don’t talk much about private things. A bit about work and lot of no talking at all. But it seems that they’re settling into a sort of quiet routing, even if they don't seem to know much about each other. What’s not to miss though is the tension between Vale and Jorge, who both seem to be walking on eggshells constantly. Dani feels in no position to ask though, even if he’s increasingly curious. And he can’t help the impression that him being hired is linked to everything in some way.

The rest of his country life stays terribly boring. He does his groceries. Gets a washing machine that’ll be delivered next weekend. Cooks. Or rather, he warms canned food. And then he talks to the people he misses, calls his mom, chats with Alberto. Tries to call Celia, but she won’t answer. Same as Sunday, actually. It worries him a little by now, because she’d also been somewhat distant with him when they were talking Saturday. Contemplating his phone’s lock screen, he goes to stand on his balcony, taking a bottle of beer and his cigarettes with him.

It’s dark already and chilly. But then it’s only March and he couldn’t have expected much different at nine o’clock. The nights here are different from back home, darker, with more stars visible especially if it’s as cloudless as today. And everything smells a little like grass. There’s not even the constant sound of cars passing by, only very occasional noises. Nice and peaceful, that’s how he’d call it if he wasn’t still working hard to hate it and if he didn’t want to keep sulking in his self-pity after everything in his life has gone wrong.

And because he has this strange gut-feeling that something is wrong with his love-life, too, he finally resigns to fate and calls the one person who’ll know. Or at least be able to find out.

The call is rather short and if Dani’s being honest with himself, not even a surprise. He’d had his worries confirmed by Cal’s voice when his old friend picked up and heard Dani wanted to ask about Celia already. And with a bit of prodding he’d told him that he thinks there’s someone else. Who’s possibly been there for a while now. And Cal says he’s sorry and apologizes, which is weird, because it should be Celia who does that, but Dani just listens and shrugs and then tells Cal that it’s okay, that he’ll think about what to do now. He hangs up without really saying goodbye and turns off his phone when a message from Cal pops up, asking him if he’s sure he’s alright.

Dani has known this would happen all along. He never said it out loud, but once it was clear that he’d move and she would stay, he’d known. Maybe he’d expected this to happen a little later. But he’d definitely expected it. It still hurts, although he realizes it’s more his ego that’s hurt than his heart. Which says a lot. He burns the crumpled printed picture he’d had of her, the one he’d like to look at, wondering if she was proud now that he was turning into an honest man again, in his ashtray without even talking to her. Without technically being done with her. Not that it matters anymore. And maybe things are better this way, with really nothing drawing him back towards home. 

Dani doesn’t stop after one bottle of beer tonight.

_Just because everything's changing_  
_Doesn't mean it's never been this way before_  
_All you can do is try to know who your friends are_  
_As you head off to the war_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Title and quote: _The Call_ ; Regina Spektor


	5. Come Pick Me Up

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A bit longish, a bit messy, but certainly a revelation ;)
> 
> Also, there's no final word spoken about the relationships in this yet :P

Wednesday is difficult to start and requires him to down a few painkillers against the hangover. He ends up showering longer than strictly necessary and eyeing his coffee cup with furrowed brows for a while without having a sip. Somehow, Dani thinks he should be feeling sad, only to realize that he doesn’t and then he feels angry with himself for not feeling sad which is ridiculous in itself and makes him even angrier.

At least, he can still deal with his job okay. If the other two notice him being quieter during their smoke breaks, they don’t mention it and he is grateful for that. As long as he’s working, he can focus on that only, nothing else bothering him anymore. Lucky for him, working on bikes has been his anchor for more than a decade now and so has riding, which makes cross in the afternoon all the more appealing. In the end, the day passes reasonably quickly, at least considering the circumstances.

Vale takes him to change into cross gear right after work and then drives them to the track in his van. It’s really within walking distance, Dani thinks, but then they have to get the bikes and equipment there so it probably makes sense. There’s a small industrial zone around it, though a couple of car sellers, a woodworking company and a paint spraying shop or company – right next to the track - hardly qualify as industrial zone in Dani’s eyes. But for villagers, well, that’s probably as close as they get to one. The track marks the end of the zone then and after it, there’s forests only. Looks nice, Dani admits, and the track itself actually is pretty impressive. 

”What do you think, you’ll start on the kid’s track or right with the real thing?”

Vale smirks at him and for a moment, Dani wonders whether it’s another joke at his expense but then realizes that it’s a genuine question.

”I think I’ll do fine on the real thing,” Dani says with a shrug, because how hard can it be?

For a moment, he closes his eyes and lets the sound and the lingering smell of gasoline take him away to memories of better days. _I wish I hadn’t wasted all I had then._ And he also takes a moment to watch the two riders who were training already; one of them riding controlled and certainly well, the other, large 93 on his orange bike, riding like a God. Or a devil. Either way, that guy had serious talent and Dani can’t hold back an appreciative hum when he sees him jump the large hill.

”He’s good, huh?”

Vale smirks at him and Dani nods.

”Yeah,” Dani looks for another moment, watches the guy master another hill with a technically perfect jump. “Yeah, really good.”

”I’ve trained him for years now.” Vale says it like it explains everything. And probably it does.

***

Vale watches the new guy on the bike and can’t help but feel slightly impressed. He’s sure doing well for a rookie. But then Alberto mentioned that he used to do road racing, so maybe this shouldn’t come as quite such a surprise? He’s a little worried about the little guy. He’d seemed to loosen up yesterday, but this morning he’d had the sad puppy eyes back and Vale doesn’t really know how to read him yet. 

He wonders if it’s because of Dani’s past, if the younger is worried about his reputation or anything. But Vale thought they’d settled that, because he’d talked to him about it a bit during a smoke break at work. He’d told him not to worry, because yeah, Alberto has told him about Dani’s past and the sentence, but he told Dani that he would be the last to judge. After all, Alberto had only barely saved Vale’s own ass during that tax scandal, courtesy of the mess Graziano had left behind. So who would Vale be to judge someone by their past encounters with the law? And actually, Dani had seemed more relaxed after that, but the sad puppy eyes had remained… so apparently, there’s something else.

As soon as he feels that Dani can deal with the still unfamiliar bike by himself, he wanders past the kid’s track, wanting to pick up Luca from the little club house, where he finds Linda sitting with him, apparently finishing math homework. It still amazes him how she reacted to Luca moving in with them, how easily she accepts him around their place and how supportive she’s trying to be. Even if everything came more than a little unexpected and unplanned.

”Hey, you’re being busy? Great!” Vale ruffles his half-brother’s hair. “Are you up for some riding?”

”Yes,” the answer comes like a bullet.

”Okay, buddy, then go change and bring your bike? I left your stuff in the van, okay?”

Vale hasn’t finished speaking when Luca is already storming out the door.

”Thank you for taking him,” he whispers, kissing Linda’s neck and pulling her up for a proper hug.

”Always.” She flashes him a smile and then kisses him back. For the umpteenth time in his life, Vale wonders how he ever deserved this.

”Is he getting along with the school stuff?”

She shrugs a little helplessly.

”I think he’ll need help for a bit… but I guess that’s normal, right? Times haven’t been easy on him.”

Of course, she’s right, but before they time to talk more, he sees Luca outside, pushing his 85cc towards the track.

”Well, I’ll have to go, I think… he won’t be patient.”

”Yeah, you better,” she kisses him again and then smacks his butt. “What’s up with the jeans, you’re not riding today?”

”Nah, I have to watch out for Luca, train with the Alexs, have an eye on Dani… I won’t have time.”

”Can’t Emilio watch the kids?”

”Not today, he’s out of town.”

”Ah, I see. Well, don’t come home too late, okay?”

”Never, I have to bring Luca back on time anyway.” He gives her final hug, leans in for another kiss, tries to savor her smell and her touch for a bit, before the hectic of training day catches up with him again. “I love you.”

”Love you, too.” She leaves and claps Luca’s helmet on her way to her car and Vale stares at her until she’s gone, mesmerized by the view, the long legs, the wavy, dark hair swinging along.

***

Dani has to revise his initial idea of how hard it could be after roughly twenty minutes on track. Because damned, it’s fucking exhausting, he thinks. It’s only March, it’s not even sunny and rather cool and he’s soaked in sweat. So, he decides to park the bike for now and have a drink. Vale had pointed out to him that he could get something at that small club building. He’s almost panting when he walks up there. Almost. Because Dani doesn’t want to give away just how hard this was when it looks like a piece of cake when these guys do it. Jorge has arrived by now and he passed Dani on his blue bike with the 99 easily. Though Jorge isn’t up to the level of that 93, the guy Vale trains.

Dani orders himself a coke, the girl behind the counter smiling flirtatiously. Probably a groupie for the riders? She can’t be older than sixteen, Dani thinks and wonders what her parents think about her serving drinks in her skintight jeans and weather-inappropriate tank-top, smiling at men that were twice her age.

When he sits down outside, there’s another man already there, nervously dragging on a cigarette and watching the track.

”Hey, you’re Vale’s new mechanic right? I’m Julia!”

_Why is everybody here so friendly?_

”Uh, yeah, I’m Dani, hi. Nice meeting you!”

The man holds out his cigarettes to him and Dani accepts gratefully. 

”Watching your sons?”

”Yeah, exactly. See the one on the blue bike? That’s Alex, the younger.”

”Looks good, how old is he?”

”Thirteen, turning fourteen this year. His first 125 season!”

”Ah, I see,” Dani mumbles, eyes caught by Jorge’s current lap.

”Well, Dani, I hope you’ll like it here. I’ll go catch up with Alex!”

Julia points to the boy in blue who’s stopped at the edge of the track.

Dani keeps watching his surroundings, sees Vale overlooking the kid’s track and assisting the father of a maybe four or five-year-old with a PW. _God, they let these kids start early._

The roaring sound of a bigger bike distracts him and he sees the 93 stop in front of the house, its riders flopping down elegantly. And then he takes off his neck protector and helmet and Dani’s breath catches in his throat. _Shit. You so weren’t picking up anything for your dad._ While the younger walks up to him with a broad smile, Dani feels his face go up in flames as his brain connects the open clues. Parts for Marquez. Marc Marquez. He remembers an article that was on display inside the club house and that he studied while he waited for Vale to register him. _You are Marquez._ Dani gulps and it doesn’t help matters that the boy is stunningly beautiful. A true eyecatcher. One Dani would have been after if it wasn’t for his girlfriend – who in all honesty, probably won’t be his girlfriend much longer, so…

”Hi Dani!” 

”Hi,” Dani takes the hand that’s offered and feels the other clap his shoulder. “Using the new parts already?”

Dani is glad he got that out straight… because he feels a little overwhelmed right now, staring at those high, flushed cheek bones and seeing the black hair curl slightly in the other’s neck, damp with sweat. And he smells like some pretty good aftershave, not the cheap deo-stuff Dani would have expected on a guy who barely looks like twenty. He licks his lips absentmindedly and almost misses the other’s reply.

_Way to fall, Pedrosa…_

***

Marc watches the new guy, Dani, walk back towards the track and smiles to himself when he sees him climb the bike. He has to use the grass curb to be able to get on. But he’s obviously used to it and masters it without any trembling. And for a first-timer, his laps are pretty decent. His eyes wander to his father, Alex and Rins, all in a heated discussion. He remembers Monday’s school break and seeing them hidden behind the gym and smiles even broader.

_Didn’t know that side of you, little bro._

Vale is gesturing towards him now and he walks down to the kid’s track. 

”Marc, Luca wants to go over to the big track, can you do me a huge, huge favor and watch over the kids’ track for a bit? I can open the track for you Saturday morning so you’ll have time to catch up on training. I’m really sorry.”

”No problem, really.” And he means it. A morning with the track all to himself will more than compensate for giving up the next two hours of practice today in favor of watching the kids. Vale gives him a really grateful look before he hurries after Luca. Marc feels bad for the young Rossi. Like everybody else, he’s heard about his mother and about him moving in with Vale and he can imagine it’s not easy. And he won’t have an easy season either because he can’t move up to 125 yet and, being even taller than Alex already, doesn’t fit onto the 85 too well anymore.

Watching over the little ones mostly means picking up four to six year olds who are trapped under their bikes and then starting their machines for them again. Occasionally, he needs to help refuel a 65 cc or check a spark plug. It’s not hard work at all and pretty satisfying, too, because it earns him all kinds of grateful, affectionate smiles. Most of them – all of them? – know who he is and they look so struck with awe when he leans down to pat their helmets, it’s adorable. And even the parents, mostly dads, who are there, watching over their spawn, eye him with that weird respect that comes with having your face in the local paper every once in a while.

”Hi Marc! Need a drink?”

Nora is stepping up beside him, holding out a bottle of water. He takes it gratefully and wonders whether she’s freezing in that tiny tank-top she’s wearing.

”Working again?”

”Yeah, somebody has to, right?” She giggles and smiles and leans up against him.

Right. They’re dating now, aren’t they? Does going to the movies twice count as dating? He kissed her on her doorstep when he had walked her home… so probably it counts?

He snakes his arm around her waist, holding his breath because he’s not quite sure he’s allowed to touch her like this. In public. And shit, he can only pray that his dad is well busy somewhere else. His fingers rest against narrow hips, thumb reaching her bare skin between low riding pants and top. _Smooth. So smooth. Why do girls feel so smooth?_

***

The track empties itself, bit by bit, the later it gets. And it’s twilight out already by the time the last riders stop their bikes. Dani, by this time, feels drained in the best possible way and is sharing a bench with Vale and Luca, talking about bits and pieces of everything. Most people are leaving it seems, only the regulars or the in-crowd? Sticking around for a final drink together. It’s only Jorge, Vale and him eventually and Luca, who Is yawning openly.

”Sorry guys, I think I have to get him home soon. Could you tell Nora to lock up for me and drop the key at the store tomorrow?”

”Sure,” Dani says and realizes he’d had no idea the girl was still around. He hadn’t seen her for a while.

”Great. Could you do the track walk and Jorge, could you give Dani a ride home?”

Jorge nods and Vale drags Luca home, the boy waving them goodbye reluctantly.

”Track walk?”

”Yeah, before we close the gate, we check that there’s no rider left lying injured somewhere. Not that it ever happened, but it’s a regulation.” Jorge shrugs. “I’ll get us flashlights and maybe you can go inside and tell Nora?”

Dani watches Jorge walk towards his van and steps inside, listening for any noise that tells him where to find her. The building is small though so he only has to turn left to see her, in the fading light of day, pressed up against the storage room wall by no one else but his most favorite spoilt brat. Talented, beautiful spoilt brat. And the sight of them… pressed against each other, his leg between her thighs, his hands high under her shirt. Her hands are under his, too, shoving it up a fair bit, giving Dani a beautiful sight of a back that shouldn’t be that tan in March. And shouldn’t be that muscular at that age. He should get going, but somehow, he can’t take his eyes off of them and what’s worse, he can’t help feeling jealous, can’t help wanting to switch places with her. Because damned, he can imagine these hands on his own skin, calloused fingers rubbing over his chest, a hint of stubble against his cheek. He almost groans and that’s what makes him come to his senses again.

He scribbles a quick note, pretends it’s by Vale, and leaves it on the table, hoping Nora would see and then he slides out, as quietly as possible. Once outside, he takes a sharp breath and readjusts his pants slightly. _Goddammit. How can you look so good?_

Dani tells himself to stop thinking, to get rid of the mental images quickly, to forget about him. Because he looked very much straight and also seems to have a girlfriend. And last not least, he’s probably barely twenty.

Still, they haven’t made it far around the track, Dani only now realizing how steep parts of it are, when he blurts out the question that’s weighing on his mind with annoying urgency.

”How old is that Marquez guy anyway?”

”Uhm. Sixteen. No, wait, he turned seventeen last month.”

_Shit. Shit. Shit._

”Yeah, impressive.” Dani barely mumbles, preoccupied with yelling at himself internally for lusting about a teenager.

”So, I know it’s early to ask, but how do you like it here?”

Jorge sees him fiddle with his cigarette and hands him a lighter and Dani finishes with his cigarette before he replies.

”I…. it’s a nice region, I guess. Everybody’s being really nice. It’s just – different to the city, I guess.”

”Yeah, I can imagine. How did you end up here anyway?”

”Vale didn’t tell you?”

Dani is a bit surprised. He would have thought Jorge knew. Kind of thought, Jorge’s slight resentments towards him came from knowing the background story.

”I-… it’s a long story.”

”It’s still a long track,” Jorge says, nudging him slightly and Dani can hear that he’s not really trying too hard to make him talk. But on the other hand, Dani feels it will come out soon enough anyway and maybe after a day like this, it’s just the right moment to confess. At least, he won’t have to worry about anything coming out afterwards anymore.

”So… a few years ago, my friends and I went to that party and there was that boat-“

***

Jorge has always been a good listener and so he does what he does best and just listens, to an admittedly sad story about a young guy with a good future, who ends up at the wrong party, with the wrong friends, the wrong drinks and a stolen boat. Followed by a pretty severe accident, a heap of guilt and two years wasted in a shabby cell. And he feels a lump in his throat while he watches Dani talk, doesn’t miss the way the other’s hands shake while he holds his cigarette. And he doesn’t miss how he won’t say much about life in prison, which Jorge assumes is answer enough. Well, he’s so tiny. And these eyes… 

Jorge doesn’t know what he’s thinking when, after minutes of silence that followed Dani’s story, he asks him whether he wants to come over for a drink afterwards. Maybe they’ve both had too many beers already? It’s sure enough not a good idea. But Jorge doesn’t like going back to his empty apartment alone, hates how deserted it feels since Ricky has moved. And tonight, he reckons Dani doesn’t want to be alone either. So actually, being alone together is a reasonable decision, right?

***

Marc has told Nora goodbye already and half-heartedly kissed her goodbye, when he realizes that he’s left his helmet out on the benches. He puts his bicycle back against the fence and walks up to the club house again. He’s just picked up his helmet and turned around when he sees them.

Jorge and Dani. Kissing. Passionately. Jorge has Dani pressed against his van and from all Marc can see in the twilight, they’re devouring each other. He can even hear them, hears them breathe heavily and moan softly and mumble things. And he feels a twitch in his lap that he definitely didn’t feel when he was kissing Nora this afternoon. Also, he doesn’t think he’d made any of these needy noise the other two are making now. And he looks and recalls Dani’s face from the afternoon, flushed and a bit sweaty, remembers the messy black hair, the evening stubble, the sad puppy eyes and the sweet smile when he was talking to one of the kids and suddenly, Marc realizes that the memories make his stomach flutter.

_Well. Maybe that’s the problem with me and girls then. Too bad Jorge was quicker to realize things._

_You know you could_  
_I wish you would_  
_Come pick me up_  
_Take me out_  
_Fuck me up_  
_Steal my records_  
_Screw all my friends behind my back_  
_With a smile on your face_  
_And then do it again_  
_I wish you would_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> _Come pick me up_ , Ryan Adams
> 
> And to say it with Rilo Kiley.... _and the talking leads to touching and the touching leads to..._ ;)


	6. Nine Crimes

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Porn. ~~Finally~~. :D

_Leave me out with the waste_  
_This is not what I do_

Jorge hasn’t done casual before. Not ever. And he’s pretty sure that this is a bad night to start with it, that Dani is the wrong guy to start it with. There’s no doubt that this _is_ most definitely casual, with both of them in no condition to be worrying about relationship. Hence, this is not something Jorge does. As simple as that. 

Still, he’s standing here, pressed up flush against the smaller man, hands tangled in each other’s hair, lips locked, tongues battling for the upper hand in a kiss that’s left the friendly stage about five minutes ago. They’re both moaning, they’re sometimes breaking apart gasping for air, their saliva mixes with drops of blood, the whole thing is one messy, passionate encounter. There is no need to worry about Dani’s stakes in this, all evidence rubbing hard against Jorge’s thigh, hard enough to feel through the cross gear. And Jorge? Well, he is just as turned on and already grinding against Dani iin a decidedly needy fashion. Which maybe should be embarrassing him, but then coherent thinking is difficult to keep up when you’re ravishing your slightly older, much shorter and extremely hot coworker.

They won’t even be able to blame alcohol for this, he thinks, because one beer doesn’t make either of them unconscious enough to make stupid decisions. Jorge groans and feels Dani push him away. For a small moment, really small, he hopes that Dani will be reasonable enough to stop this here. Then he looks at Dani’s face, though he can’t read it well in the twilight and he sees the way Dani’s lips are still parted, how his pupils are blown wide and pitch black and all he wants is to fuck him in the back of the van.

”Take this to your place?” Dani’s voice is hoarse and low and that’s hot enough to make Jorge’s cock twitch again. 

He nods, because he doesn’t trust his voice right now and starts rummaging for his keys, swallowing hard. If his hands are shaky, that’s not at all because of Dani but only because it’s already pretty cold outside.

_It's the wrong kind of place_  
_To be thinking of you_

They load up the van with Jorge’s bike, both avoiding to look at the other. Jorge spends the short way back to his house wondering whether this is leading where he wants it to lead. And if he really wants it to lead there. When he pull into the driveway, he has to think of Ricky. Of how this was _their_ house. Not _his_ house. How he will take Dani to _their_ bedroom, throw him onto _their_ mattress. He’s biting his lips, staring at the wheel, needing to long to get out since he’s already turned off the engine a minute ago.

”Maybe I should just go home?”

_Yes. You should. No. I should take you home, send you off to bed, drive back here and sleep. Maybe take a cold shower before._

”No, don’t. Sorry, I was just lost in thought. Come on, let’s go inside.”

_Fuck. Lorenzo, where did that come frome?_

They don’t speak on the way in and when they’re in the well-lit hallway, they stare at each other for a moment. Jorge wishes he could read Dani’s eyes, but all he can see there is a haze of sadness and a fair amount of desire. He doubts his own look any different. Have they crossed the point of no return already?

”Maybe a drink first?”

_First? As in implying that there is a _then_? Something to do after said drink?_

”Yeah, okay,” Dani sounds grateful.

Jorge starts taking off all the gear now, Dani following the lead. Boots out is a sure thing. Shirts out is too. Of course, protectors go to the floor. Socks out, okay. Jorge has heated flooring anyway. His fingers hesitate on the buckle of his pants. But really, sitting down comfortably in dirty, sticky cross pants? He lets them fall to the floor, tries not to notice the way Dani is looking over now, tries not to feel self-conscious about the fact that his boxers might still be slightly tented. And while Dani drops his pants in turn, Jorge is most definitely not checking him out and totally doesn’t see the bulge in his black boxer briefs.

”Do you want to get some sweats for you?”

”No, don’t worry, they’d look ridiculous and it’s warm enough.” Dani shrugs and Jorge almost, but only almost, presses him up against the hallway’s wall.

Instead, he puts a hand on the small of Dani’s back and takes him along to his kitchen, motioning for him to sit down at the small table.

”Beer or stronger?”

”Stronger, I think”

_Good choice._

Jorge takes the seat across from Dani, their naked knees bumping under the table. He sets down two glasses and a bottle of Vodka that he got from Vale, pouring both of them a fair amount.

_It's the wrong time_  
_For somebody new_

They sit in silence for a moment, taking sips of the liquor and staring at the table as if there was anything remotely interesting on it. It’s Dani who starts speaking first, making Jorge’s head jerk up with surprise.

”I-,” Dani hesitates and Jorge meets his gaze, sees the insecurity and the beginning of a blush on his cheeks. It’s making him gulp involuntarily, making him want to reach over and pull Dani in for another kiss. “I don’t usually… I mean, I don’t mess with coworkers, you know? I don’t want this to end awkward.”

_Exactly. Let me show you the guest room._

”We’ll be fine,” Jorge rasps instead, considering to kick his own butt. “I mean,” he adds after a moment, “I don’t… do casual much. But I guess… as long as we’re both on the same page-“

He leaves it hanging there. And it’s true, right? As long as they’re both on the same page, wanting the same thing, they’ll be fine. And damned, forgetting Ricky for just one night would be so, so good.

”Right. We’ll be fine.” Dani reaches over the table, fingers caressing Jorge’s hand and wow, that’s one shiver running down his spine.

Jorge pushes his glass out of the way and leans forward, hands reaching for Dani’s hair again, pulling the smaller against his lips with a small moan.

_Screw being mature. As if that ever got me anywhere._

_It's a small crime_  
_And I've got no excuse_

*** 

_Leave me out with the waste_  
_This is not what I do_

Dani doesn’t do this. He’s into men and women and quick, dirty sex, yes. But he’s not a cheater. Never been. He’s honest to enough to break up before he goes out hooking up with strangers. Okay, Jorge isn’t a complete stranger. But he’s still not familiar and it wouldn’t change that this is cheating if he was. 

Still, Dani is sitting on Jorge Lorenzo’s kitchen table, legs hooked around the taller man’s waist, hands under his T-Shirt, groaning into what’s possibly the sexiest kiss of his life. Because fuck, Jorge is good at this, damned good. Right mix of licking and biting and nibbling, passionate but in a slow way, sensual. On Dani’s back, under his T-Shirt, Jorge’s fingers are performing some magic trick tracing his spine, sending shiver after shiver down his body, more and more heat pooling in his lap. He hopes it’s as good for Jorge as for him. If the wanton noises from the other’s throat are anything to go by, it is.

”Bedroom?” Jorge breaks the kiss this time and Dani can’t help but marvel the face in front of him, can’t help reaching out with a finger to trace Jorge’s jawline, stubble scratching his skin.

”Sounds good,” he says, his voice coming out husky.

He’s about to get up when Jorge’s grip around his body tightens and he feels himself being picked up with surprising strength, Jorge carrying him over to the bed seemingly effortless. That alone is enough to make Dani even harder than before.

_It's the wrong kind of place_  
_To be cheating on you_

Jorge strips both of their shirts off in record time and while they’re on the edge of the bed, wriggling out of their boxers, Dani steals a glance at a perfect six pack and wets his lips. Next to him, Jorge flops down on his back and next thing Dani knows, he’s propped up over the other, held up by strong arms and his gaze locks with darkening green eyes that already look clouded with lust.

”You sure,” Dani manages to rasp and when Jorge nods, it’s like a dam bursting, because yeah, Dani maybe a good guy most of the time, but not good enough to resist that sight, that beauty, when it’s splayed out for him.

He bends down to kiss Jorge again, slower yet than before. He doesn’t miss how Jorge is shuffling under him, reaching for the nightstand, dropping lube and condoms on the bed without mentioning anything. _Okay. You want to take this all the way. Okay, I can do that._ Dani growls and presses his hips down, their cocks rubbing against each other. Jorge whines into the kiss and yes, Dani could fall in love with that sound.

His hands roam over a firm chest while he lets their kiss get messier again and they’re both bucking their hips desperately, searching for friction. They won’t need Jorge’s supplies if they go on like this, Dani thinks, his balls already tight and a sheen of sweat covering his skin. He breathes in Jorge’s scent, mix of dirttrack, gasoline and aftershave, revels in it, before he pulls back and sits on his heels. The ease with which Jorge’s legs fall open, the apparent trust that Dani feels is not at all deserved, it’s overwhelming. But if his fingers are trembling while he reaches for the lube, that’s only because he’s shivering from the cool air.

He can’t stop the image of Celia from popping up in his head briefly, now, in the worst of all moments, making him pause mid-movement for a second. Celia. Well, there’s nothing left to salvage there anyway.

Jorge’s fingers against his chest, running down towards his stomach in a teasingly slow manner, is all he needs to shake him out of the dangerous thoughts, to shift his focus back to the present and the beauty that’s on offer here.

_It's the wrong time_  
_He's pulling me through_

”It’s been a while,” Jorge mumbles against his neck as Dani’s fingers are circling his hole. The implication of _that_ statement isn’t making self-restraint any easier, Dani thinks. Still, he takes his time, first finger breaching the tight ring slowly, eyes watching every reaction on Jorge’s face and waiting for that moment where cringing turns into relaxation before he starts moving. Dani hasn’t been with a guy for a bit either, but he’s done it often enough to find Jorge’s prostate with ease, making the other gasp sharply.

”More,” Jorge croaks and Dani complies happily, adding first one and then two more fingers, twisting and pushing carefully. Jorge is writhing under him, whimpering, hips moving to meet Dani’s thrusts already. _You’re ready._ He decides without asking, nothing to misread about the way Jorge is pressing against him and moaning for more. The condom slips on with ease and Dani leans down to kiss Jorge, the taller man’s ankles on his shoulders. When he feels that Jorge is caught up in their kiss, he buries himself with a single, slow thrust, bottoming out with a loud growl against Jorge’s lips.

He only starts moving when Jorge breaks their kiss to hiss a desperate “Now”. With Jorge’s hands gripping his hair painfully tight, he moves his head to suck a bruise to the other’s neck, a wave of possessiveness washing over him, of wanting this for himself. Only him. He feels himself lose his control more and more, picking up pace and force, slowly forgetting about whether or not he’s hurting Jorge. All he craves now is release, sweet release and he drives himself there with determination. Between their stomachs, he’s wrapping his fingers around Jorge’s cock, working him with the same frantic speed he’s thrusting into him with. Jorge announces his orgasm with a sharp cry, hot liquid splattering between them and his muscles clenching around Dani almost impossibly tight. Dani only manages a couple more, slow thrusts before he stumbles over the edge himself, collapsing on top of the younger man as a panting, sweaty, spaced out mess. Jorge’s hands wrap around his shoulders immediately, holding him close and yes, that’s what an afterglow should feel like.

Trespassing, theft, driving a boat without a license, driving a boat on a lake where motorized boats are banned, ownership of illegal drugs, driving a boat under the influence of drugs, causing an accident by reckless driving and resistance against a police officer. Eight crimes, listed neatly in his file, he’d been found guilty for each and every one. And though this one’s not relevant in front of courts, the ninth crime he’s added to his resume tonight is by far the worst of all.

_It's a small crime_  
_And I've got no excuse_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> _Nine Crimes_ , Damien Rice feat. Lisa Hannigan  
> I think I listened to this on autorepeat while I wrote this and I absolutely love it. ♥


	7. There's things I wish I knew...

“Hey, can I come over tonight?”

”Sure, if your mom lets your off the leash you’re always welcome.”

”Very funny. I’ll be there in ten.”

Marc doesn’t even ask for permission. He’s worked his ass off on track, done his chores and no open papers for school – he thinks he’s clear to do what he wants for once. And even if he wasn’t, this is important. Very. He is still in a blurry state, having difficulties to focus. Because wow, just wow. He can’t believe it took him so long. He can’t believe it’s never happened before. Has it never happened before?? He doesn’t even know that for sure. Maybe it has but he’s been too oblivious to notice? 

He cycles the miles to Pol’s house on autopilot and arrives without realizing he’s been on the road. Pol’s mom lets him in with a big smile, sends him up to Pol’s room, claps his shoulder and tells him to eat more, the usual. And it’s strange, he thinks, how nobody can see what’s just happened to him, though he feels like he’s a different person all over sudden.

”Hey, that was quick,” Pol flops down with him on his bed, hands him a diet coke and then sits back, hands crossed behind his head, raising his eyebrows, “So, what’s the invasion about?”

How should he say it? Marc opens his mouth, closes it again, curses his brain for ceasing its services now of all times. It’s not that he thinks Pol cares. Hell, he knows Pol doesn’t. It’s not like the topic is unknown, or new. Not after Jorge and Ricky, not after Vale and Casey. And for an instant, Marc wonders if it’s not dancers but riders who are always gay.

”Marc?” Pol sounds worried and shoots him a concerned glance.

_Okay. Out with it. Jaja. Out. I’ll just say it. I can just say it. It’s Pol. Yeah. I can just say it. It’s not going to shock him. Maybe surprise him? Or has he known before me? Can other people see it?_

”Marc, are you okay?”

He realized that he’s staring at Pol with his mouth hanging open.

”Pol, I think-“ _Just say it. I can say it. I’m not a coward._ “I think I’m gay.”

Pol splutters and spills some of his drink. “What brought that on? You didn’t hurt your head during practice, did you?”

Shaking his head, Marc tries to gather his thoughts. His cheeks probably go bright red when he thinks about what he saw and suddenly, he realizes that maybe he shouldn’t tell Pol about what he saw. But then, it’s Pol and Pol, like Marc himself, wouldn’t use it against them.

”I saw… Dani and Jorge. And they kissed.”

His face burns even more.

”And?” Pol shrugs, expression unimpressed. “I mean- you’ve seen that before, right? You must have seen Ricky and Jorge or Vale and Casey kiss, too, right?”

”Yes, but… I don’t know… maybe they’re not my type… But Dani… I mean, when I saw them… I really would have wanted to be in Jorge’s place. Like a lot. So much, I would have pushed him away if I’d think I’d have a chance. And so much that I… you know… I _reacted_.”

”Hm.” Pol just looks at him pensively for a moment and Marc starts to relax, because yes, saying it out loud has made it just a little easier, he thinks.

”And girls? I mean… I thought you and Nora?” Pol still looks lost in thought and Marc loves him for being this way, for treating even the most irrational freakout in Marc’s life like it was a regular math problem just needing a good strategy to solve.

”I don’t know, I really don’t. I think I always looked for a girlfriend because I thought I _should_ have one and then there was Nora and she was nice enough- “ Marc gulps, “Okay, this isn’t making me sounding very nice, is it?”

Pol shakes his head and Marc shrugs helplessly. At least, with Pol he can be sure that he won’t be lied to just because the older doesn’t want to offend him.

”Yeah, well. Anyway. When I saw Dani and Jorge I realized that what I’ve done with Nora, it just wasn’t the same. It didn’t feel that nice.”

”Hm. And what do you want to do about your sudden idea?”

”I don’t know. Maybe I should try kissing another guy?”

”No offense, but I hope you’re not trying to imply-“

”No.” Marc almost yelps, “No, no, no, God, no!”

***

He’s almost dozed off when he feels Dani stir next to him, climbing off the mattress and already looking for his shirt.

”Hey, you don’t have to leave, you know?” Jorge rolls to his side and watches Dani turn around. _You’re really, really hot and I don’t think you even realize that._

”I-“ If Jorge is not mistaken, a blush is spreading over the smaller man’s face. “I don’t think- I mean, this was a one off, right?”

”Sure,” Jorge tries to say it as if he does this kind of stuff every day. “Doesn’t mean you have to run out on me though. You can sleep here, have breakfast in the morning and I’ll take you to work. Maybe Vale is going to have our heads –“

”Vale will… what?”

He sees the terror in Dani’s eyes and could kick himself for the ironic remark… Dani couldn’t know that it’s irony after all.

”Sorry, don’t worry. Vale won’t say anything. Well, not to you anyway.”

”You… you’re sure?”

Dani still looks a little pale around the nose.

”Yes, I’m sure. I’m not exactly in friendly waters with him right now, but I can assure you, he won’t mind our little adventure as long as we can work together. And I have the feeling, we can do that, right?” Jorge goes for confident and hopes he’ll stay right on that last point. Because well, he’s never done this before and he’s not sure if they can. 

”Okay,” Dani gulps, but he’s not running anymore, sitting down on the edge of the mattress instead, hand running through Jorge’s hair. Jorge would purr if he could. “What’s wrong with you and Vale? I mean… you two… you didn’t… right?”

It takes Jorge a moment to realize the implication, before he shakes his head frantically. “No, oh God, me and Vale? Never. No, there was something else, but it’s a long story.”

”I don’t think I could sleep now anyway, so-“ Dani is holding up a pack of cigarettes and yeah, maybe that’s not even a bad idea. 

_It’s a horrible idea and you know it. Why didn’t you let him leave?_ The voices in Jorge’s head are screaming louder and louder but he silences them by sitting up and wrapping himself around Dani, breathing in the mix of their sweat and aftershaves and the still lingering presence of motor oil and dirt. His hands get caught up in damp, soft hair and he loves the feeling of Dani’s chest against his, the way the other’s heartbeat vibrates through his own body. He kisses Dani gently, carefully and very chaste considering the circumstances, before he pulls back, nodding.

”Okay, but outside. And with the rest of the Vodka. So you’ll take my offer of some sweats and a hoodie this time.”

***

”So, you think Luca needs help?”

Vale pulls Linda down on the couch, wrapping her under the blanket with him, hands around the small waist and nose buried in her hair. He fears her answer, fears their talk, fears anything remotely related to how Luca is or isn’t coping. The task of watching out after his brother is the most difficult he’s ever been asked to do and so far, he has the impression that he’s failing in all possible ways.

”In school? Definitely. I really think he’ll catch up better with a tutor than by having us study with him.”

It’s not unexpected, but still. Vale blinks against a few tears.

”Hey, wait, why is that such a touchy issue for you?”

Linda is cupping his face, bringing their foreheads against each other’s.

”It’s my fault, isn’t it? And now I’m not even good enough to help him and-“

”What?” Linda pulls her head back, staring at him in confusion and he doesn’t see what’s not to understand there. Who wouldn’t be desperate if they couldn’t even help out their younger brother?

”Tell me what’s your fault about all this. Elaborate, please!” Her eyes are stern, same look she gives Luca when she’s doing homework with him.

”My mom is sick because of the separation and the separation is because of the riding and that’s only because of me and –“

”You surely realize how much you’re constructing that there, don’t you?” The hand running over his cheek is gentle, but her voice sounds like she’s scolding a child. “I don’t want to hear any of this nonsense, you hear me? Because it’s not your fault. And not your mother’s or his father’s or anyone’s fault. Things get ugly sometimes without there being somebody to blame. It’s not fair, I give you that much, but nobody said life was fair. And Vale, Luca doesn’t gain a single thing when you’re frustrated with yourself. And finally,” he tries to stop her but she just cups his cheeks and forces him to listen to the end, “finally, I don’t think he needs a tutor because you’re incapable of teaching him but because I think it would do him good if he had us linked to positives, not school work. I think getting criticized on essays hurts less when a stranger does it then when your family intervenes. That’s all I wanted to say, okay?”

She’s staring him down and he feels a wave of love run over him, feeling deep enough to make him tremble in her hold. He’s still fighting tears when he nods and leans in to kiss her. There are no words to describe his gratitude for having her.

”Feeling better?” She’s mumbling against his neck and her hands are under his shirt, warm and soft fingers chasing the pain away and sending shivers down his spine. He nods against her, his hands playing with her hair and he realizes that she’s the best thing that’s ever happened in his life. And maybe, for the first time ever, settling down sounds like the reasonable thing to do.

_There’s things I wish I knew_  
_Ther’s no thing I keep from you_  
_It’s a dark and shiny place_  
_But with you my dear_  
_I’m safe and we’re a million miles away_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> From _Moon Song_ , Karen O


	8. U got it bad

”So now that we’ve established you won’t practice by kissing me – and don’t get me wrong, I really appreciate that - who do you think you should practice with?”

_Dani._

“I don’t know. I really have no clue. But there has to be a way to find out, right?”

”Marc, if you’re asking for my honest opinion, then I think your sort of plan sounds completely insane. And I also think there’s nothing to _find out_. Either you want to be with a woman, or a man or you’re just flexible. You’ll know when you stand in front of the right person.”

_I want Dani._

”What if I kiss Dani and then realize it doesn’t feel any better than kissing Nora?”

If Pol noticed how he put Dani's name there, the older is kind enough not to point it out.

”Well, you’ll wait until you stumble over someone else who looks attractive to you.”

_I don’t want someone else. I think I just want Dani. Oh my God. This is spiraling out of control quickly._

In Marc’s head, the images keep popping up, vividly. He’s bodily reacting again already and it’s embarrassing. All because of some short, old guy whom he hasn’t talked to for more than five minutes.

”You’re blushing.” Pol is grinning widely at him now and holding up another coke. Marc shakes his head though, no excuse to be pigging out on food and drinks, not with the season just around the corner.

”I just… I’m so confused right now.” And that’s the truth, he sure has no idea how to wrap his head around any of this.

”Can I ask you something though?”

Marc shrugs and motions to Pol to ask away, because there’s nothing he wouldn’t tell his older friend anyway.

”Well, if you watch like… I don’t know… sex scenes, or porn, or whatever… don’t girls make you hot?”

_Huh._

It takes him a moment to run through the things he’s seen, the movies he’s secretly watched and it hits him hard.

”No, to be honest, I don’t think they do? I think when I like… watch scenes with couples I’m actually… I’m watching the guy… that’s what… you know.”

”Okay.”

One thing he admires about Pol is how easily he can accept things like this. As if there’s no surprise, no shock, nothing spectacular. Pol listens, understands, accepts and files it away. There’s that then. Marc wishes he could just accept it, too. But he hasn’t even started thinking about the consequences of being gay and he doesn’t want to go there now, because it still feels too weird. And anyway… there’s something bigger, more urgent that’s weighing on his mind.

”Pol, how old do you think Dani is?”

”Uh, maybe twenty two or twenty three?”

”He’d be too old anyway, right?”

Marc feels his voice crack a little and buries his head in his hands. What was he thinking? What is he thinking? Dani would never...

”Aww,” Pol nudges his shoulder, ” I think you really got it bad.”

_When you feel it in your body_  
_You found somebody who makes you change your ways_

***

Linda calls it an early night, leaving Valentino with a glass of wine at the kitchen table, chin in hand and wondering if he’s done everything right or wrong. It’s not a new feeling though, ever since he’s seen _her_ for the first time, he’s been living in this turmoil of emotions that he hadn’t known before. It’s not been easy, leaving _him_ him behind for her, trading trust and history for someone so much younger, less predictable. But it seems he’s won, he’s picked right. For once in his life. Whatever strange reason is behind it, they work as a team and it’s the first time in his life that he tells someone he loves them and actually thinks he might mean it.

She’s been the first who caused him butterflies in his stomach. The first who’s made him truly furious with jealousy. The first who’s seen him cry. And held him through it without judging him. And she’s certainly the first who makes him think about settling down without that his guts clench in terror. On the contrary, actually. Especially now, that Luca is more or less living here. Suddenly he’s coming home to a family, to freshly cooked meals and a set table. And trading their previous spontaneity for some stability, for new little rituals like having coffee together in the morning, talking about plans for the day… somehow it’s not even scary anymore. A few months ago, he would have fled at the mere idea.

The one problem with all of this newfound blissful peace is the worry that this might not be what Linda wants at all. She’s only twenty one. That’s too early for taking a care of a family, too early to spend your evenings cooking for your boyfriends half-brother. Too young to give up parties, friends and fun for helping a kid with his math homework. And Vale thinks he’s not being fair dragging her along into his family’s mess, feels like he’s imprisoning her in some cage she doesn’t belong into. And it hurts, because sometimes, when he looks at her, he just wants to drop to his knees and hold up that ring he bought in a moment of utter insanity.

His head jerks around at the sound of naked feet padding over the wooden floor.

”Hey buddy, what are you doing here? Can’t sleep?”

Luca stands in the doorframe, shuffling nervously and shaking his head. In these moments, where Luca looks so much like a wounded deer, Vale hates the circumstances that brought them to this point and he blames himself for so much of it.

”Want a drink?”

”You wouldn’t let me have a beer, would you?”

”What?” Vale almost chokes. “You’re not having alcohol. Not in the next like… I don’t know… maybe six years? I was thinking more about a hot chocolate.”

”I’m not five.”

”Well, you’re not 16 either.”

”I know. It was a joke, okay? Can I have a coke though?”

”I doubt that’s going to help with sleep.”

Instead of discussing the issue any longer, Vale just gets up, pours the younger a glass of water and hands it over with the most stern look he can manage. The glare he earns is pretty much deadly.

”So, tell me what’s wrong.”

Luca doesn’t reply straight away, just drinks his water and evades his gaze and it’s driving Vale up the wall with worry. It takes him some effort to stay calm, his feet only shuffling slightly under the table.

”Is it really okay if I live here now? For both of you?”

Those insecure eyes. Vale’s heart shatters into a million pieces.

”Why’d you ever doubt that?” He asks as soon as he finds his ability to speak and then they talk and talk, Luca confessing thousands of little and big doubts and worries, finally pouring his little heart out and for the first time during this week they’d spent together, Vale has the floating feeling that maybe, just maybe, he isn’t doing too bad of a job with Luca.

_When you say that you love 'em_  
_And you really know_  
_Everything that used to matter, don't matter no more_

***

”So… you and Vale…” Dani blows a thin line of smoke into the air and leans back against Jorge, both of them sharing one of Jorge’s garden recliners.

”There’s no me and Vale. But you’ve heard about Casey?”

”Not much,” Dani shrugs.

”He was a mechanic at the store from the beginning. And after a while, he fell for Valentino. And Vale… well, he dealt well with it in the beginning, even though it was really obvious. Casey always had these puppy dog eyes when he looked at him. But I don’t know… I think one night they got really waster after one of Vale’s victories and they ended up in Vale’s bed together.”

Jorge falls silent and Dani wonders that this can hardly be all of it. While he waits for Jorge to continue, he stubs his cigarette in favor of another sip of Vodka. From behind, Jorge’s arm snakes around his waist, a hand under the slightly ridiculous hoody that’s simply huge on him. Jorge’s fingers are as calloused as Dani’s own, but they still feel so soft, careful, while they’re tracing these little patterns around his navel, following the lines of his muscles. Dani shivers in Jorge’s hold and it’s not because of the chilly evening air at all.

”Anyway. I told Vale it was a mistake. But he said he liked Casey and they were a thing for a while.”

”Why didn’t you tell Casey?”

”Huh?”

”You said you told Vale it was a mistake… why didn’t you tell Casey he was making a mistake?”

”I-“ Jorge stops for a moment and Dani hopes he hasn’t said anything wrong. “I guess I just felt like Casey couldn’t help it, you know? He was so head over heels. And actually, for a while it looked like I was wrong and they were doing fairly well.”

It’s silent again and Dani stares off into the black sky, trying to picture Casey, trying to wrap his head around Valentino being into guys as well – really, how high is the probability that out of four people in a garage, four are bi. Though… he doesn’t know if Jorge and Casey liked women, too, does he?

”What happened to them?” Dani moves his hand on top of Jorge’s which is still caressing his stomach and still sending these shivers down his spine and now also makes all the hair in his neck stand up.

”Linda.”

It’s one word. One name. And well, Dani thinks, he’s seen Linda and she sure is enough of an explanation.

”So Casey left?”

”So Casey left. I still miss him… no offense to you, it’s great that you’re here and well, I guess you noticed that I don’t complete hate you-“

Dani jabs one of his elbows back into Jorge’s ribs, causing a yelp. But they’re both giggling and that’s good, because it makes the air lighter and that’s what Dani really needs right now. Jorge pinches his side in retaliation but then his hand slides lower and over…. Well, the evidence that Dani doesn’t completely hate Jorge either. It makes him gasp and Jorge, after a brief moment of probably surprise, kisses his neck with a soft moan, hand sliding straight into Dani’s pants.

Jorge’s touch feels good, incredibly so. Intuitively, he knows how fast, how firm to move. It’s making Dani moan and he’s not exactly quiet. Maybe they should go inside, try not to embarrass themselves in earshot of the neighbors. Then, Jorge’s thumb moves over his head, Dani growls and any worries he might have had about screaming his pleasure out for the world to know are gone overboard.

Jorge bites into his neck, surely leaving marks and he’s using a leg and his free hand to grip Dani tight, not really leaving him much choice than to writhe and squirm a little helplessly, while he uses his last functioning brain cells to at least make an attempt at keeping reasonably quiet. He still comes with a rather loud groan, spilling over Jorge’s hand and pants.

”Wow…that was… impressive,” he whispers, voice hoarse and still feeling so beautifully boneless and unfazed.

Instead of a reply, Jorge just laughs softly; his hot breath tingling the skin behind Dani’s ear.

Dani turns around in the younger’s arms, head soon buried in the nape of Jorge’s neck, tongue tasting the salty skin there.

”Shower?” He mumbles, hands finding their way under Jorge’s shirt, mapping the other’s ribs one by one.

”Depends.”

Dani raises his head and furrows his brows when he sees Jorge’s smirk.

”On what?”

”Will you join me?”

Dani crashes down, pulling Jorge into a searing kiss and oh yes, he is so going to join him.

They’re naked and wet in record time and Dani spends most of their shower on his knees, giving Jorge a thorough demonstration of some of his usually more hidden skills. The noises falling from Jorge’s mouth make him slightly proud if he’s honest. So does that fact that it’s not too long before he tastes Jorge on his tongue, looking up at the younger through his lashes and finding his face slack-jawed and unguarded. And it’s a beautiful face and a perfect body. 

Still, for the briefest second when they’re already dried and under Jorge’s sheets, curled up close against each other, Dani imagines it was Marc’s face he had been looking up to under that shower.

_U got it bad when you're out with someone_  
_But you keep on thinkin' bout somebody else_  
_U got it bad_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> _U got it bad_ by Usher


	9. Foundations

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'll miss Jules... It's only been a few weeks since my family has been sitting in a hospital and got the same news that Jules' parents received a few hours back... so if I'm around a bit less again on tumblr, you go figure. ♥ I'm sorry. ♥

Dani wakes up when Jorge’s alarm is blaring through the small bedroom and he’s disoriented for a moment, before he remembers whose bed he’s in and whose warm body is curled up against his back, arm slung around his waist.

_Shit._

He’s not even managed a single week at his new job without messing up. Maybe he can just move somewhere else now.

Behind him, Jorge shuffles around, stopping the annoying noise from the phone and Dani wishes the ground would open and swallow him, because he’s not sure he can deal with the fallout from last night. He’s about to flee the bed, when Jorge wraps himself around him, pressing a gentle kiss into his neck.

”You’re not freaking out, are you?”

Dani doesn’t know what to say and shrugs in Jorge’s hold, feeling dizzy and nauseous.

”Don’t worry, okay? We’ve both had fun. I mean… I know that I did and it sure felt like you enjoyed yourself, too. So… nothing to worry about, right?”

Dani would find it easier to believe if Jorge’s voice wasn’t on the verge of breaking.

”Sure,” he mumbles, “we’re all good.”

”Okay, want to have the shower first? We’ll stop by at your place to pick up your overalls on the way to work, right?”

”Uh… they’re still at the garage. I left with Vale’s cross gear.”

”Oh. Okay. Well, Vale will know anyway when he sees that your bike is still there.”

Dani’s heart plummets through the floor.

”So… get showered and I’ll borrow something for the way. Coffee?”

He scrambles out of the sheets and nods at Jorge, who smiles nervously and hurries off towards the kitchen. 

It’s under the shower, when Dani has a vivid flashback to the previous night, of himself kneeling here, looking up – and once again it’s the face of Marc Marquez he’s staring at. Waves of hot and cold run through his body, which are not related to the constant stream of warm water surrounding him. Not enough that he’s cheated on his girlfriend and fucked his coworker less than a week after moving, no, now he’s also having inappropriate fantasies about a teenager. 

Dani leaves the shower with a frustrated growl. In the bedroom, Jorge has left him a stack of fresh clothes. They work more or less, though the jeans… well, Dani is simply too short for these. They’ll have to do though and he’ll have to face Valentino, not like there’ll be choice. He finds Jorge in the kitchen and the younger passes him a coffee before going to shower himself. 

Dani’s left with his thoughts once again, taking small sips of coffee – and damned, Jorge knows how to make a nice cup – while he stares out into the dawn. At least, he figures, there’s one thing he can more or less solve. Or rid his conscience of. 

_Sorry to tell you this way but I don’t think we’re working anymore. I heard there might be someone else for you and I know there must be someone else for me. Thank you for being there, but I think we’re done now. I wish you all the best._

He’s just about finished his coffee and he can hear Jorge leaving the bathroom when his phone vibrates in his pocket.

_Okay. Maybe I was kind of hoping this would happen. You’re a good guy, Daniel, never forget that. Bye Tesoro. XO Celia._

It seems he doesn’t have to feel too guilty about this then.

”Are you good to go? Hey, are you okay?”

Jorge is leaning in the doorframe, giving him a concerned look.

”Sure,” Dani puts the cup down and forces a smile on his face, “I’m good. Let’s face Vale then, huh?”

”Don’t worry, it’ll be okay.”

_Your voice is not convincing me._

***

Vale sees the bike in the driveway and wonders. And he has suspicion, a nagging feeling in his guts, certain glances between his business partner and his employee flashing up in his memory. He falls back into his kitchen chair with a sigh, giving his coffee a deadly glare. Jorge wouldn’t, right? Because Jorge knows what happened with Casey, because Jorge always said Vale messed that up – and, Vale admits with gritted teeth, Jorge had been right then all along. So no, Jorge wouldn’t. Only… there were only Jorge and Dani left at the track last night. And Vale can only see one reason why they’d leave together instead of Jorge just dropping Dani off here to get home on his own bike. Only one rational explanation. He runs his hands over his face and sighs again. And they do this now, of all times, when Dani has just started and the DM is starting here in only a week.

***

The day could have gone worse, Jorge thinks as he sits down at his computer after they’ve all been having a lunch break together with Emilio, discussing the races next week. Maybe they picked a good moment for their little fallout, because all the stress with the DM right around the corner will keep Vale too occupied to yell at him at least. And Vale knows, Jorge could tell the second they walked in this morning. It’s visible in the ´way he looks at him, the inquiring gazes, the raised eyebrows. For now, Jorge has decided to ignore it and not say a word about it until Vale dares to bring it up. And it’s been mostly working. Even Dani has started to relax a bit again. So maybe they’ll really be okay. Or as okay as they can be. And maybe Jorge will reconsider how he thinks about Vale, too, because after last night… well, he understands a few things.

”Hey Yorg,” a familiar voice chirps behind him and Linda comes to sit down on his desk, broad smile over her face.

”Hello, beauty! Don’t say you’re actually going to help me out with the balance again?”

”If you want me to? I’d have time. And I know you guys have to organize stuff for next week, so-“

She gives him a cheeky wink and he can’t help smiling back. Such a perfect person. _I still wonder what Vale did to deserve you._

They settle into work quickly, her taking over his computer and Jorge switching to coordinating some marketing things on his tablet. Since she’s writing her thesis and back here full time, they’ve worked like this a lot and she’s nice to have around in the office. Always smiling, always cheery, always willing to give him a hand.

The soft noises from the radio, the sounds of her typing, scent of coffee lingering in the air announcing that Vale is in the kitchen… Jorge allows his mind to float a little, thoughts travelling back to the opening race last year, his fallout with Ricky after the crash. It had been such an awful time and such a horrible year to follow. He can only hope that this season will kick off with a better start.

”Hey, did the tablet attack you or why are you looking at it like that?”

Linda is leaning over his shoulder, scent of her shampoo tingling in his nose. 

”Nah, sorry, I was just lost in thoughts.”

”Believe me, I noticed,” she says with a smirk and then pats his shoulder. “Should I bring you a coffee? And Yorg, the statistics are all finished.”

”Yes, please. And thank you. You’re an angel, you know that?”

”Let’s say you’re not the first to mention it?” The cheekiness suits her.

”Aw. How long are you going to be here with me, my angel? When is the Master’s degree snatching you away from me again?”

”Actually-“ she leans back against the desk, lowering her voice and giving him a somewhat insecure look, “I don’t think that’s going to happen?”

”What do you mean?”

”I might have taken back my application for this year’s program?”

There’s the faintest blush on her cheeks and Jorge sees her knuckles getting white from gripping the desk. _Oh._

”You didn’t apply?”

She chews on her bottom lip for a moment, evading his gaze.

”I didn’t. I- Well, I thought- I think- Vale needs some help now, right?”

_Ohhh._

“Does Vale know?“

”Does Vale know what?” The familiar voice at the door makes both of them jerk their head around, jaws dropping.

_Shit. Karma is a bitch sometimes._

_My fingertips are holding onto the_  
_cracks in our foundations,_  
_and I know that I should let go,_  
_but I can't._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> _Foundations_ ; Kate Nash


	10. Under Pressure

_And love dares you to care for_  
_The people on the edge of the night_  
_And love dares you to change our way of_  
_Caring about ourselves_

Jorge has literally fled the room with some mumbled apology and Vale finds himself leaning against the doorframe, eyes on a blushing Linda who is evading his gaze. His heart is pounding and it feels like it’s stuck in his throat. Somehow, he figures, this can’t mean anything good. Actually, it could only… but they’ve been careful, he thinks? His eyes wander down her body, rest on her stomach, try to read whether there’s anything hiding under that skintight blue T-Shirt. Which is ridiculous, of course, because it would be too early to show. It would, right?

”Does Vale know what?” he repeats, voice not coming out as secure as he’s wanted it to. 

”I-“ She’s still staring at her fingers, nails bright pink, instead of him and it’s driving him up the wall that he can’t see her eyes. “I didn’t apply for the Master’s program. I will stay here for a bit.”

She’s whispering and it takes him a moment to decipher what she even said. It takes even longer for the words to register properly. And he can almost feel his heart plummet through the floor when he realizes.

”Why?” He asks although he thinks he figured it out and lets himself slide down onto Jorge’s desk, finger reaching out to tilt her chin up, eyes finally meeting hers.

”I don’t want to leave you alone. Not now. Don’t get me wrong, I don’t want to say that you can’t do it, I just want to… you know, I want to be here for you. I don’t want to be away and wonder how you’re coping all the time. Not anymore. Please, Vale, please don’t make me-“

She sounds like she’s on the verge of tears and her eyes are definitely shining. Vale wonders if the sounds of his heart breaking are actually audible or only in his head when he pulls her from the chair into his lap, arms tight around her back, face buried in her hair.

”I- I wouldn’t make you.” _Only because I couldn’t though. Do you have any idea just how responsible I feel now? I’ll be ruining everything for you. And once you realize that, you’ll blame me, hate me and leave me._ Vale gulps again, swallowing against the tears and sobs that want out, arms closing around her a bit more. _I don’t know if I can deal with this, you know? Responsibility for your life, for Luca’s, for the business, for mom… it’s just. A lot._

”Are you mad?” She’s sniffling into his shirt and damned, how could he?

”No. No. If that’s what you really want to do… then I’m glad I think? I like having you here. And well, you can always go back to Uni next year, right?”

A nod against his chest.

”Okay. We can talk tonight, okay? I’ll have to discuss something with Jorge now.”

”Sure. I’m sorry I didn’t tell you, I didn’t think you’d have let me.”

_You’re right on that one._

She slides off his lap and presses a kiss to his cheek on her way out and Vale just stays where he’s sitting for a moment, buries his face in his hands and waits for his heartbeat to slow down.

_No pressure. No pressure at all._

***

”Luca, can I have a word with you?”

He stops dead in his track, guts twisting already. There’s nothing good Mister Walters could want from him, not now and not ever. 

”Sure,” he grits out between his teeth, his eyes focused on his shoes.

”Luca, I checked your test as one of the first yesterday and it’s not looking good,” the teacher says with a sigh, “I don’t know how you could catch up to be honest.”

”I’m trying, really. I’ve studied hard and now my brother and his girlfriend are going to help me out and-“ Luca stops. Maybe he shouldn’t have mentioned that?

”Your brother and his girlfriend?”

”I- I’ll live with them temporarily, until my mother feels better.” He can’t help chewing his lip, even though Linda told him it’s a bad habit and he can’t look at Mister Walters. He doesn’t want to see the raised eyebrows, the judging.

”I had no idea. Do you think I could talk to your brother?”

_Oh shit. He’ll kill me._

”I- do you really think that’s necessary? I could try harder for the next exam, please?”

He tries for his puppy dog eyes, the same look that’s worked on his mother so many times. But elderly math teachers aren’t like his mother at all.

”Yes, young man, I think it’s really necessary. Please hand Valentino my number, “ he scribbles something on a paper and hands it to him, “I think he’ll remember me from when he was still a student here.”

_I doubt that’s going to make this any better. God, he’ll just kill me. And if he doesn’t, Linda will._

”You know you might not pass the grade when you don’t get your grade up? You’d have to repeat, Luca.”

”I- yes, I know,” he stammers and the second he sees the other nod as sign of dismissal, he’s almost running out, desperate to get away.

_There’s no way I’m passing this class. And there’s no way Vale will let me stay when I have to repeat the grade._

***

”Hey Marc, you’re late.”

He eyes his father cautiously, not sure if there’s already an accusation in the question.

”Sorry, I’ve been at Vale’s to pick up some more oil and then the piston ring for the Enduro bike.”

If he’s done anything wrong, he’s not aware of it at least. And his dad doesn’t look angry. Maybe… apologetic?

”Oh, okay. Have you met the new guy, Dani? He seems pretty nice?”

_Oh my God. Oh my God. Oh my God._

His heart starts racing in his chest and he’s pretty sure he’s turned lobster. Can his dad smell his fear? Does he know about… well… _that crush_?

”I- yeah, actually I have. He seems quite good at what he does.” Marc leaves out how he also looks pretty damned irresistible, be it in cross gear or in his overalls. And he also smells nice. And he has a nice voice. And he looks perfect when he smiles. And his eyes are the most beautiful eyes Marc has seen and they always look like there’s so many layers of depth behind them. And… _I actually sound like a very girly love story, don’t I?_

He also leaves out how the atmosphere at Vale’s has been a little off, because after all, that’s to be expected with all the changes recently.

”Mhm, yeah, I think Vale made a good choice there. But I heard Alberto recommended, so I guess we should have known he’d be good.” His father shrugs and laughs insecurely and somehow it seems as if his dad has something to confess here? “And, uh, Marc, about that Enduro championship-”

Marc couldn’t be happier about the change in topic, but there’s something worrying in his father’s tone.

”What about the Enduro race?”

”Well, it’s not even your discipline and your mother is not very happy about it, you know? Your exams the week after and-“

”Dad, I studied already, really hard. I’ll be fine. And it’s my last year where I can do both and even Vale is racing, because it’s the twentieth race here. Please.”

”But you know that your mother expects you to do well, right? She really wants you to have a decent average.”

”Dad, please. And even if I don’t do well, my grades so far are so good, I’d still be okay. Dad, we talked about it already and she said if I did well on the pre-exams I could. I got straight As on those. She promised!”

There’s a lot of accusation in his tone and he feels it’s justified, because she _did_ promise him he could race. And he makes these puppy dog eyes, the ones he knows his father can’t resist.

”You’re sure you’re well prepared?”

”Yes, dad, really.”

His dad shrugs and turns away with a sigh of resignation that tells Marc that he won this one already.

”I’ll talk to her again, son. But do both of us a favor and get straight As on your finals, too. Otherwise I think she’ll be hunting both of us down.”

”I will. I promise.”

_No pressure, huh?_

***

He hasn’t heard any yelling from Vale and Linda, so he assumes things went okay. Or he crosses his fingers at least, because he does have to talk to Vale after all. Walking out to the driveway when he sees the older take a smoke break there feels a bit like walking up to his own execution, Jorge thinks. Vale’s head turns towards him when he gets outside and he raises an eyebrow when Jorge sits down on the small bench, next to him but with a distinct gap between them.

”I think I owe you an apology.”

”Do you now?”

Vale’s voice sounds casual, but they’ve worked together for years now and Jorge can read him well enough to hear that part of it is pretense.

”I’ve been angry at you for more than a year now because you had sex with Casey. And I know that I’m not better after last night. So if you want to yell at me, go ahead. I know it was stupid and inappropriate. Just don’t take it out on Dani. It’s not his fault, okay?”

”I would have thought you’d know me better than this.” Vale nudges his shoulder and Jorge turns to see the older smile. Genuinely. He almost can’t believe it.

”Jorge, I won’t be a hypocrite about this and yell at you although I’ve done the same. I took a risk with Casey, you told me how you felt about it, I didn’t listen and it didn’t work so well. Shit happens and I understand that you’re angry. I’ll just trust you and Dani to deal with it a bit better, okay?”

”That’s all?” Jorge gulps, still not sure he can believe the apparent peace offering between them.

”That’s all, _Yorg_.” Vale uses Linda’s nickname for him with a giggle and Jorge slams his elbow into the older man’s ribs in retaliation.

_Almost like back in the days..._

For a while, they smoke in silence, until Jorge musters up enough courage to ask about earlier.

”Did you talk to her?”

”Sort of.”

”Sort of?”

”I told her it’s okay.”

_Huh. You don’t sound okay there, mate._

”But?”

”But I think I can’t deal with it, Jorge. She’ll blame me for ruining her career one day.”

”Vale, she’s not ruining her career only by postponing her Master’s degree for a year.”

”You don’t think she is?”

Jorge has rarely heard Vale’s voice so full of worry and maybe today he’s realizing for the first time that Vale doesn’t just like Linda because she’s hot. Going by Vale’s voice right now, the genuine concern and worry dripping from every word, Jorge is almost sure that his old partner has fallen in love. For real. And as far as he remembers, for the first time in his life.

_This is going to be interesting._

”Nah, she’ll be fine and she wouldn’t blame you.”

_Because clearly, she’s a much better person than me._

***

Dani is exhausted when he finally makes it to his bed, the day at work having been even more hectic than the ones before. And apparently, everybody only expects things to get worse from here. The race next week, he’s learned that much by now, is part of the national championship – why they’d hold races here in the middle of nowhere and nothingness is a mystery, still – and there will be hundreds of riders in the paddock on a nearby former military base. The club here will be responsible for the route and the organization and Dani can imagine that it’s like hell breaking lose for a tiny cross club in an even tinier village to get this event done with in grace. It’s apparently understood, that they as the club’s garage of choice, do their share of organization and PR work and Dani has the feeling this will be over their heads.

For the garage, it also means many, many bikes to be prepped at last minute plus it means Vale and Jorge need their equipment in top condition as they’ll both take part in the event. Not the championship, Vale had explained to him, because neither of them wants to risk injuries, but this one race they don’t want to leave out because it’s the twentieth at the place and Dani understands, he really does.

And there’s somebody else taking part in that race, Dani learned this afternoon, when a familiar face appeared in the garage – does that kid never just use the counter? – and asked about piston rings. Marc has flashed him that broad smile and Dani could feel his heart constrict at the sight. And he thinks he might have blushed when Marc told him how well he’d done the other parts. They’d talked for a bit longer, Marc seemingly more shy than during their previous encounters, but the shyness somehow made him look even more appealing. The younger had told him how he’d race, too, only for fun, of course, because cross was his real passion and Enduro was just this little extra, but somehow, Dani wouldn’t be surprised if the brat would just win the race anyway. For fun.

Thinking of _him_ has been a mistake, he realizes, as his shower fantasies return with full force, even though he’s already curled up under his sheets. In front of his eyes, he imagines Marc’s face, tries to imagine the other unravel and come undone under his touch and shit, Dani is rock hard now, his fingers imagining the touch of the skin in Marc’s face. He twists and turns for a while, before he clambers out of his bed a bit after midnight, heading straight for the shower. 

For a moment, he contemplates just turning on the cold water. Instead, he ends up under a constant stream of warmth, forehead against the tiles and both hands on his cock. And he can only hope the walls to the other apartments are thick enough to keep his growl of a much too young man’s name inside.

_Fuck._

Maybe that wasn’t the best word to describe his current situation. He needs to find somewhere to go out soon, find someone to take the edge off. Just playing, obviously. Because no way in hell is Dani getting into a relationship again. Not ever. And that damned teenager will surely be out of his mind once he’s had some real fun.

 _Insanity laughs under pressure we're cracking_  
_Can't we give ourselves one more chance?_  
_Why can't we give love that one more chance?_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> _Under Pressure_ , Queen & David Bowie


	11. Complicated

The week turns out as exhausting as Dani expected it to be, with long hours, late nights in the garage, too much coffee and too little sleep. Over their countless cigarette breaks, he learns, bit by bit, about the people and the village and his bosses or coworkers. Actually, he mostly still thinks of them as bosses, but he’s very sure Vale and Jorge wouldn’t agree. 

In his head, he files away all the little crumbs of information, slowly developing a sense of who is who and the dynamics around him. He learns that Julia, the nice man he met on track, is actually not just Alex’s but also Marc’s dad and it makes him gulp slightly. When he sees him on track again the following Saturday, he can’t quite look him in the eyes anymore, too heavy the guilt of jerking off over images of his innocent teenage-son every night. And sometimes in the morning under the shower, too. 

That’s the second thing he learns; he’s fallen. Harder than he thought possible. And third fact he comes across: Making out with a random guy in a random club in some random bigger city doesn’t chase away the images of Marc Marquez. Even less after Dani sees him on track on Saturday again. Or rather, off track, changing clothes. That back has more muscles than a seventeen year old boy should have and Dani refuses to believe that the six-pack the boy is sporting is remotely real. It took Dani years to build up muscles like those and no, he just refuses to believe it.

Over the week, he also has that notion that something between Vale and Jorge changes – but strangely, for the better and not for worse. So at least his faux pas with Jorge hasn’t cost him his job and apparently not even Vale’s sympathy. It’s strange, but Dani is not one to question the few crumbs of luck he seems to come across nowadays.

It’s race weekend before he even notices, meaning he’s also been living here for two weeks. Sometimes, it feels like he just got here yesterday, other times, he thinks he’s been living here forever. Most times, everything is a little surreal. And now is one of these times, because Jorge is picking him up, van ready and Dani is going to share said van with him for the next two nights and well, he’s not quite sure where they’re standing with sharing a bed and such.

At first, he thought it was a weird idea, camping out in the paddock when their apartments are only a mile away, but that thought is gone the moment they’re actually there. It’s big. So much bigger than Dani expected or imagined, hundreds of tents, caravans, vans, mobile homes, trucks, gathered in small groups. People are having barbecues, there’s music and engine sounds everywhere and the bustling is tingling his nerves, making his hair stand up with anticipation because he suddenly realizes what he might be a part of this upcoming weekend.

Jorge drives them around expertly and comes to park right next to the familiar blue and yellow van. They form a little square along with a third, white van that Dani thinks belongs to Emilio, who as he learned would also participate in the race. Dani thinks he’ll have a lot to do with all the equipment but then Vale and Emilio wouldn’t be on track all the time. As far as Emilio’s concerned, Dani hasn’t had a chance to talk to him very much yet, but from all that he has seen and heard, the older man is a kind and calm person, always ready to support and give out advice. Dani knows that Emilio owns the company next to the track and also the ground that the track is built on, that he used to race, too, and that he’s mostly in charge of training with the kids. He’s also, despite not being a professional, an excellent mechanic.

”Hey, you’re here. Sausage or steak?” Emilio appears between the vans the second they open their doors and points towards the small barbecue he and Vale have set up already.

Jorge orders them food from Emilio, gets them drinks from a freezer that’s somehow there and then unloads the bikes and sets up a pavilion together with Vale, everything apparently well-studied, all routines established. For a moment, Dani wonders how many times the men have done this before. He feels a bit like an outsider or bystander, not really knowing what to do or how to help and it’s making him uncomfortably, squirmish.

A Hyundai parking right in front of them interrupts him in his thoughts, his favorite brat jumping out without looking back.

”Bye dad, and don’t let Alex use my bike.”

”I won’t and good luck.” Dani hears Julia’s voice and feels his cheeks heat up. It’s just too difficult, being around the friendly man after all the thoughts he’s had of his son. “Valentino, I trust you to look after him, okay?”

”I promise. As always.” Vale grins at the car and Julia disappears with a honk while Marc is shoving his bag into Vale’s van. He’s laughing, probably about Vale’s remark and Dani thinks it’s a sound between torture and bliss.

If he had a kid, Dani ponders, he wouldn’t be sure if he’d leave it in Vale’s care. And he wonders, why Marc’s staying with Vale instead of Emilio. He doesn’t get to think about that for much longer though, because their group grows, that girl from the other night, Nora, joining them for the barbecue. It takes Dani a moment to realize he’s frowning at her and he looks away quickly, cheeks slightly flushed now. As if she had done anything wrong or anything against him. And seriously, Dani won’t accept that he’s jealous. Not ever.

Eventually, a curly man with beard joins them, too, welcomed happily by everybody. Dani learns that his name is Santi and that he’s one of Emilio’s best friends and then he remembers Vale mentioning him and that he’d be around to help with the bikes, too. The feeling of being a bystander dissipates over the course of the night. He has heated discussions about all kinds of bikes with Emilio and also learns quite a lot about Santi who tells him that he lives in Amsterdam now, working for a Dutch racing team, but that he loves coming back home for a few races each year.

It’s strange to Dani, who hasn’t exactly grown up to trust people, how easily this group finds itself with all these different roles and parts falling into place seemingly effortless. After a while, he realizes that it’s wearing him out slightly, all the new people, the talking, it’s just still a bit unusual. Uncomfortable. Leaning back in his folding chair, he stares at the last gleaming coals on their barbecue. Somebody in the team camping next to him has turned on some music and there’s some mix of rock and metal playing. Thankfully, it’s not too loud or disruptive and the entire paddock seems to be bustling with noises, engine sounds, chatter and laughter. And while he’s sitting there, trying to tune back into the conversations around him, Dani’s eyes fall on Marc and he’s completely lost once again. The sight of the young man is mesmerizing, stretched out on a recliner in skintight, dark jeans and a grey hoodie that’s slightly rumpled, a stripe of tanned skin visible above his waistband because he has his arms above his head. Marc isn’t talking to anyone, just staring into the sky apparently with somewhat hooded eyes. His girlfriend, or at least Dani assumes Nora is his girlfriend, is sitting on a chair next to him, hand in his hair and Dani sees her fingers move through it, carefully, sensually and he imagines it was him, it were his fingers touching that soft, black hair, running over Marc’s scalp.

***

Marc sighs and shivers under Nora’s touch. She shouldn’t be here, shouldn’t be doing this, he knows that. Pol told him he should have the courage to break up whatever little thing they started. But then he felt that since Dani is out of reach anyway, he could at least try for a bit? Maybe he would get used to her and then it would work better? It’s not that he doesn’t know, deep down inside, that he’s being a giant dick here. It’s just… well, he just wants to have at least someone around. And Dani… Marc sighs again.

He’s been pretending to stare into the fire for a while now, while he’s actually staring at Dani most of the time. The ease at which Dani connects with Jorge, it’s disturbing, painful. They’re much closer in age and Jorge has a few years of maturity in his favor, Marc knows that. And understands. But somehow, his brain won’t accept the cold facts and the longing persists, even against logical reasoning.

Nora’s fingers keep running through his hair, gently and barely touching. Sometimes, her fingertips ghost over the hair in his neck and make him shudder and inhale contently. After a while, his eyes fall closed almost automatically and in his head, he replaces Nora with someone else, someone her height but not her figure, with more calloused fingers that still touch so carefully, touch him as if he were one the parts in the garage. Marc subconsciously starts chewing on his lips, imagining to be lying here with his head in Dani’s lap and Dani’s hands caressing over him.

”Marc?”

His head jerks up slightly and by the sound of her voice, she hasn’t tried to talk to him for the first time.

”Sorry,” he mumbles, hand rubbing over his eyes and brain trying to erase images of Dani coming over to him, leaning down, kissing his temple… _Fuck._ The images are back already and he bites his bottom lip, hard, to stay focused on her.

”Are you falling asleep on me?” She asks with a smile and a good natured voice, but he can tell that there’s a hint of insecurity, a shadow in doubt creeping into her expression.

_I really have to talk to you._

”Sorry. I was just lost in thoughts a bit. I’m a bit worried about the exams.”

She hums knowingly and leans in to kiss his cheek. Her lips are soft and her skin feels smooth when he reaches for her face. Marc tries to imagine what Dani’s stubble would feel like against his fingers.

”I have to get home now. And I have a match tomorrow, so I won’t be back until Sunday.”

She’s pouting while she says it and he leans in for a quick kiss, keeping things chaste, hoping she’ll think it’s only because they’re In public and not because he’d rather be kissing Dani.

”Okay, I hope your team wins. And goodnight babe,” he says softly, hand running through her hair a final time.

”I’ll miss you,” she whispers into his ear before she turns and leaves on her bicycle. His eyes follow her disappear in the dark, wondering whether he should have offered to ride with her and then go back. Until he notices Dani out of the corner of his eyes. For a fleeting moment, he wonders if Dani has been watching them. And why. Dani has gone back to looking at Jorge now though, causing a sharp sting in Marc’s chest. His eyes stay on the small man with the beautiful face, white teeth shining even brighter in the almost dark. Marc yearns to walk over and touch him and find out how he feels, his skin, his hair. Or how he smells from close by. Not just the somewhat random waves of his aftershave he sometimes catches. Oh yes, he really wants to be closer to him and he truly wishes they had anything in common to talk about. Wishes he could make Dani smile the way Jorge does right now. Craves to be the one lighting Dani’s cigarette like Jorge is doing at times, fingers brushing and coy smiles exchanged. 

He’s tuned out of the conversations around him, everything reduced to background mumbling and his eyes never leave the two men across from him, even if in the semi-darkness he cannot read much of their expressions. Inside his head, he imagines being closer, ever so much closer and he’s touching Dani, everywhere. Marc wonders how different it would be, pressing against a chest that’s as hard as his own, no soft breasts. Would Dani like him if he was a bit older? In his head, he compares himself to Jorge, wondering if Dani has a type. At least, Marc thinks, he is the same height as Jorge and has the same hair color. Almost the same physique, too, he thinks, especially now that he sports the same six-pack that he knows Jorge is hiding under his shirts. If Dani has a six-pack? Marc hasn’t seen him change, so he wouldn’t know. When he realizes that he’s basically sitting around in public and undressing Vale’s mechanic, Marc feels his cheeks turn red. _What a way to fall…_

”Okay, guys, lets head to bed,” Emilio suggests eventually, getting up with a yawn and stretching and Marc notices that it’s become quite cold by now. Also, the sounds around them are more muffled, no loud music, no engine sounds, only a few muffled conversations audible. He gets up like everyone else and they put away the folding chairs and recliners, put out the rest of the fire and get ready for the night. 

He’s still brushing his teeth, ready to spit the foam into the shrubs, when he sees Jorge and Dani climb into Jorge’s van, both laughing softly. The sight makes his heart clench badly and he realizes that he’s more than a little jealous of what they have.

_So why in hell, when I finally fall in love, after wanting to find someone for years now, why does it have to be someone who is too old, too hot and too male? Why does it have to be so complicated?_

_You’re not easy to love, no_  
_Why is everything with you so complicated?_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> _Complicated_ , Rihanna


	12. Collide

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm bad at leaving notes and replying to comments lately and I'm sorry. I really appreciate all of your feedback and it means a lot ♥ I'm just very, very drained mostly and barely manage to upload these without falling face first on my keyboard :/

**Friday night: Vale’s van…**

”Vale?”

Marc sounds insecure and Vale is surprised, because that’s quite new in fact. But in the darkness inside the van, he can’t even see the other's face, so he just stays curled up in his sleeping bag and encourages him to keep talking.

”Mhm?”

”How did you… uh… know, you know? About you and… uh… guys?”

_Okay. O-kay. That is not the direction I was expecting._

”What exactly are we talking about here, Bambino?”

”Before Casey… I mean… did you know? That you liked him? Guys?”

Vale bites his lip and now, he’s grateful for the dark as he must have just turned bright red. _This is so no what I was expecting to talk about._

”You mean if Casey was the first guy?”

”Was he?”

”No.”

Most other people, Vale would have lied to without batting an eyelid. Or would have told them to shut up and just go to sleep. Somehow with Marc though, he feels too responsible to do that. What he does wonder about though is what brought this on.

”But when there was a first… did you know you liked guys? Or girls? Or when did you know?”

”Uh… I don’t really think… I don’t know. I just always liked both, I think?”

Thing is, Vale doesn’t remember. Really doesn’t. It’s been almost twenty years and he’s not sure. Was Alexia his first crush? Or do kindergarten things count, too? There was this boy in kindergarten whom he liked…

”But what was first?”

”Girls probably.” Vale decides that no, kindergarten doesn’t count here.” But not because I didn’t like boys… just, I was thirteen or fourteen, I liked some girls and some boys, but the boys, I was pretty sure, were only into girls. So kissing a girl was easier then. And eventually, sleeping with girls. Guys that kind of, well, reciprocated, that came a bit later. But I’ve always found them hot. If that even makes sense.”

”I guess it does.”

He hears a bit of resignation in Marc’s voice and he doesn’t understand, still, why they’re talking about this at all.

”Why are you asking though?”

”I- I was just curious.”

_I call bullshit._

”Bambino?”

”Huh?”

”Don’t lie to me, please. I deserve better. So again, why are you asking me these things?”

”Because there might be a guy.”

Okay, that was to be expected after their rocky conversation. It’s still a surprise. And Vale doesn’t really know what to say about it. He’s only ever seen Marc with girls.

”What about Nora?”

”It’s not the same. I don’t think about her the way I think about him. And Nora and I… we’ve never… uh…”

_You never… oh…_

**Friday night, Jorge’s van**

”Why’s Marc sleeping in Vale’s van?”

Jorge almost chokes. _What the hell are we discussing now?_

”Where’s that question coming from?” He manages to say it without coughing at least.

”I… I don’t know. Just curious. I just… well, I think I wouldn’t let him watch my son, not if I could have him with you or Emilio, I think?”

Jorge is not convinced by Dani’s reasoning. Not really.

”Uh… not that I don’t feel flattered, but Vale does a good job at looking after Marc and has done so for years, don’t worry. And Emilio… well, he’s rooming with Santi and that’s not negotiable.”

”So they’re-“

Jorge shrugs, the question having been asked countless times before and the rumors accompanying them for years. He honestly couldn’t tell if he wanted to.

”Emilio and Santi? We don’t know, to be honest. They’re both married with kids, but then… yeah, there have been rumors. I think it comes down to don’t ask, don’t tell? Anyway, since I’m not always around, or mostly not, because I look after the riders in the lower series, Marc ended up with Vale. His dad is usually with Alex.”

”He’s pretty strict, right? Marc’s dad?”

Dani’s voice sounds a bit insecure and Jorge processes the words and the possible reasons why Dani would ask such a thing – and suddenly, he realizes.

_Wow. Well. I hope you realize how thin the ice is that you’re planning to step on. They’ll murder you, both of them, if you corrupt their little angel._

”I guess. But you know, I think it’s amazing, the way their parents are pushing both of them, him and Alex. If I’d had them as parents, I think I’d be a rider or a race engineer… not a mediocre shop owner.”

Jorge curls up in his sleeping back, wanting the discussion to end before they enter even more dangerous territory. Dani seems to feel the same way, turning his back towards him now. He does hear a last muffled thing from the smaller man though.

”I don’t think there’s anything mediocre about you.”

**Friday night, Emilio’s van**

”They’re getting along better, aren’t they?” Santi says with a hopeful voice, hoping he read things right tonight.

”Who? Vale and Jorge?”

”Uh-huh. I think they haven’t been this talkative with each other for the past year.”

”You’re probably right. Think it has something to do with the new guy?” Emily sounds pensively and Santi turns around, facing his friend, but the darkness keeping him from deciphering the other man’s face.

”Possibly? He seems really nice actually.”

”Oh, he is. I mean, I admit, I had my doubts, even with Alberto’s recommendation. After all, he’s been in prison. But yeah, he’s really nice. And he has a lot of talent from what Vale told me.”

”Yeah, he seemed quite passionate from what I saw tonight.” He really did, Santi likes the way the younger man’s eyes light up as soon as he sees a bike.

”Passionate, huh?” He can hear the smirk in Emilio’s voice.

”Anything wrong with the word, Alzamora?”

”No, nothing at all, nothing at all.” Emilio plain out chuckles now. “Only… you know, maybe Dani isn’t the only one passionate about something here?”

**Saturday night, Vale’s van**

“Aw, come on, Bambino. You said you were only racing for fun.”

“Yeah, and I am. But still, that was a dumb mistake.” Marc buries his head in the pillow, wanting to drown out the world.

“You’re third in your age group. I don’t see the problem. I mean, you’re not seriously going to whine about your result when you’re actually on podium in a race that you’re only doing for _fun_.”

“But I made a stupid mistake.” _And you taught me that mistakes in races are inacceptable, that I should keep them to training._

”Marc, as much as I appreciate your ambitions, you have to learn to let go. You cannot be perfect everywhere and with everything.”

”Pot calling the kettle?” He wants to sound angry, but he can’t keep the chuckle out of his voice, because it’s really just so ridiculous to here this from Valentino of all people.

”Well, okay, maybe you have a point there, but still-“

”It’s all your upbringing. Well, and mom and dad’s. So don’t complain about it now. I’ve got standards.”

”Oh. Okay.” Vale sounds stricken and Marc frowns into his pillow, wondering what he’d said to cause that.

”Did I say anything wrong?”

”Uh- no. But Marc?”

 _Are you… insecure?_ Because Vale, _that_ Vale, sounds like a scolded child right now.

”Huh?”

”Was it really that bad?”

”What was?” Marc is confused, not really seeing what they’re talking about here.

”Having me as your coach.”

”No, you were awesome." 

_Oh. Right. I forgot._

“Oh, you mean because of Luca?” Marc adds, facepalming internally.

”Maybe?”

”Don’t worry, you’re doing great with him, I think. Just… maybe give him time? I mean, I imagine it must be a bit tough right now, you know?”

”I- yeah, I think I can understand that he’s not at his best. But he needs help, you know? He’s really struggling at school.”

”Ask Alex.” Marc nudges Vale through the sleeping bags.

”Alex? What does he have to do with it?”

”Okay, as much as I hate to admit it, but my little brother is pretty smart. Like _super smart_. Academically. Ask him to tutor Luca. He’s only one grade ahead of him, he’ll remember all the stuff that Luca needs to learn.” He really doesn’t like to admit that. But it’s the truth.

”You think he would do it?”

”Well, maybe he wouldn’t exactly be cheap, but the way I know my little brother, you can definitely buy him into that.”

”Huh, okay. Actually, that might not be your worst idea, bambino.”

”My ideas are usually very great and appreciated, you know?” He hopes this will turn the conversation slightly.

”Are they now? Which great idea of yours was it then that sent Nora home in tears?”

 _Shit._ That wasn’t the change in topic he’d been hoping for.

”I told her. About the guy. Well, not who exactly. Not even that it’s a guy. But that there is someone else.”

For a while, it’s all quiet around them. Until…

”Marc?”

”Hmm?”

”Is Dani the someone else?”

**Saturday night, Jorge’s van**

”So, before me, who were you rooming with? Or did you have to spend the race weekends by yourself?”

”I- Well. My ex, Ricky…” Jorge swallows against the lump in his throat.

”Oh. Okay. So he was a racer, too?”

_The best. He was the absolute best._

”Uh huh. He is pretty good actually, still.”

”What happened?”

Normally, he wouldn’t reply. But it’s Dani and Dani had trusted him with his secrets, so…

”He was successful, I wasn’t. And instead of celebrating with him, I chose to become a bitter idiot.”

”Oh. I can’t really… I mean, you don’t seem like you would be like that?” Dani is stammering slightly.

”I’ve tried to be better since then, you know? Some morning, I woke up and new that I had fucked things up. And I’ve really tried hard to be a better person. God, that sounds pathetic, doesn’t it?”

”No, actually not. I think it sounds pretty amazing. And it’s what I’ve been working for, too. And well, you know my story, so if anyone believes that there should be second chances, then it’s me.”

”Yeah, I think I can see that.”

”You want him back?”

Jorge considers the question for a moment, pictures of Ricky appearing in his mind.

”I- yeah,” he says hoarsely, “actually, there’s nothing I want more.”

**Saturday night, Emilio’s van**

”Have you heard from Casey?” It’s strange, he thinks, how every time they’re doing this, they talk before going to sleep, like little boys on a sleepover. Whispering, sharing _secrets_ , all the stuff they’d never discuss in the light of day.

”He found a girl, really nice one, too. Her name’s Adriana.”

_Now, that’s good news for a change._

”I’m glad. It would have been a shame if he’d broken down over it.”

Emilio means every word. He’d liked Casey. Despite or because of everything that happened.

”It would. But he’s tough and he made it. And well, the way he looks at her, I guess Vale did make the right decision.”

”Oh yes. She’s the first whom he looks at the same way he does at his bike, right?” He chuckles softly, image of Vale cuddled against the side of his Yamaha on his mind.

”That’s true. She must have left a lot of an impression with him for him to give her that look.”

”I used to wish someone would look at me the way Vale looks at his bikes,” he says, voice wistful and heart skipping a beat from nervousness.

”Someone, huh?”

**Sunday, lunch time**

Marc is just getting out of his muddy and drenched clothes, when someone enters the back of the van behind him, announce by a loud rumbling from tools being dropped.

”Oh, sorry, I didn’t know you were in here.”

_Fuck. Dani. Of all people._

Marc resists the temptation to yell at the smaller to get the fuck out and turns around, bottom lip chewed on nervously.

”Hi Dani, no problem. Vale’s not back yet, though. I think he’s still under the showers.”

”Oh, that’s okay, I just wanted to drop these off.” Dani vaguely points in the direction of the tools he’d thrown inside. “Hey, congrats, you made it to second.”

_Wow. You’re smiling. At me. You should smile more._

It takes Marc a moment to turn his focus from Dani’s smile to his actual words, processing the congratulations slowly.

”Thanks.” The younger shrugs, the second place not much of an achievement to him.

”Not even a bit more enthusiasm?” Dani nudges his shoulder and Marc shudders, the older being in his personal space overwhelming him. “You should be celebrating!”

”Uh... not really. I mean, exams are coming up and so- “ He shrugs again and squirms slightly. He feel s self-conscious, half-naked in front of Dani, his cheeks probably the color of lobster again and his fingers itching to reach out and touch Dani’s stubble.

Trying to evade DanI’s gaze that suddenly feels so piercing, Marc turns around, grabbing a dry hoodie and wriggling around to get it on. Something feels off kilter, like there’s some tension between him. The way Dani’s brown eyes keep scanning him, it’s not the way Vale or Jorge look at him. It’s almost like Marc looks at Dani and _oh…_. He gulps involuntarily and his heart starts racing in his chest immediately. Because this can’t be true. Can’t be happening.

”I’ll go and get me a drink, want one, too?” Dani asks behind him and Marc tries not read too much into it, but then he _does_ think Dani sounds a little nervous. As if this wasn’t just about a drink.

”Give me a minute to get out of these pants and I’ll join you,” he says, trying for casual but feeling like his voice is going to give in any second.

”Sure.”

Dani doesn’t seem to leave and Marc peels out of his clothes, facing the wall, trying to control the way his face heats up. He puts his jeans on hastily and takes a last deep breath before he turns towards Dani, who is staring at the floor. Now at least. The way the older man’s cheeks are blushing, Marc thinks Dani might have been looking somewhere else before. And the vague notion that maybe, just maybe, Dani is showing interest here, flirting, with him, it’s making Marc weak in the knees.

”So, is your girlfriend coming over for the ceremony?”

They’ve picked up their drinks and are sitting in the open door of Jorge’s van now. After it’s been raining almost non-stop during the races, the sun is out, finally, rays warm against Marc’s skin.

”Girlfriend?” He asks absentmindedly, the whole situation, him, Dani, drinks, still being too surreal to believe.

”Yeah, Nora is her name, right?”

”Oh, Nora. Yeah.” Marc nods. _It’s a good sign, right? He’s trying to figure out whether I’m available, isn’t he?_ “She… well, I don’t even know if we ever made it to girlfriend and boyfriend. But either way, she’s not coming and we… well, there’s no _us_ or _we_ anymore.”

”Oh, okay. I’m sorry.” 

Marc steals a sideways glance at Dani who is about to light a cigarette. It looks hot on him. _Everything would look hot on you though._ For a while, he just watches, hoping he’s not too obvious. It’s a sight, the way Dani is leaning there in the sunshine, eyes slightly crinkled, cigarette in the corner of his mouth, grey T-Shirt clinging to his chest, not leaving much to the imagination at all.

”Can I have a cigarette?” The sentence escapes Marc’s mouth without even thinking and he wonders if it’s situations like these that get people started on smoking.

”Do you smoke?” Dani turns towards him, eyebrow raised in surprise.

”No, not normally.” Marc tries to look and sound unfazed, but he thinks he might be blushing, suddenly feeling too young and too inexperienced to play this flirting game with Dani. And maybe he’s just reading all the signals wrong anyway?

”Then no. I’m not getting you hooked.”

”You already have.”

 _Shit. That wasn’t supposed to be loud._

_Out of the doubt that fills your mind_  
_You finally find_  
_You and I collide_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> _Collide_ , Howie Day


	13. Fool For You

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Possibly the longest introduction I've ever written? Oops.

Dani freezes on the spot, Marc’s words ringing in his ears. He knows he’s staring and he thinks his jaw might have dropped, but he can’t seem to move right now. A couple of times, he opens his mouth but the words just won’t come out. Of course, Marc’s words don’t have to mean anything. But after their whole little conversation… they most certainly do. Because Dani has seen the way Marc looks at him and he’s realized that there’s more than just casual talking on the menu here. It’s difficult to believe, but it seems the beautiful youngster _is_ interested. And since the girlfriend is not a girlfriend… Dani swallows and looks at Marc again. Marc looks somewhat horrified, probably just as shocked about what he said as Dani. It’s cute, Dani thinks, how the usually so confident boy is suddenly scared of his own game, as if the bit of banter or flirting they’d carefully started was overwhelming him.

”So,” Dani coughs and forces himself to relax at least enough to get one sentence out straight, “So I got you hooked?”

With his heart banging against his ribcage he stares at Marc, trying to make his attempt of a smirk look convincing.

”I-“ Marc’s face is definitely blushing, Dani thinks and it’s messing with his mind, the way the younger is chewing on his bottom lip, “I think you did. Kind of.”

The last words were more of a whisper. A somewhat husky whisper. One that makes a bit of heat pool in Dani’s lap. Shifting his position slightly, he stares out into the sky, mind wondering whether he is going to do the best worst or worst thing in his life and if there’s any way at all he could mess up worse than he’s done before.

”Maybe I could make up for that inconvenience with dinner tonight?”

If his hearts beats any faster, he will die from a heart attack. At twenty-four. Because of a teenager who is currently gaping at him and Dani can’t even say with certainty if it’s surprise or shock he sees on the younger man’s face.

”Yeah, yeah, I think you could,” Marc says after what felt like an eternity to Dani and Marc says more, but Dani can’t even hear it over the sound of all the rocks that are falling from his chest.

”Sorry, what did you just say?” Dani rubs his face, trying to calm his nerves which is hard to do when butterflies are practicing somersaults inside your stomach.

”Jorge won’t mind?”

”Jorge?” Dani feels a bit lost.

”Sorry… just I thought you two were… I saw you leave together and-“

”Oh,” Dani interrupts, his face turning bright red, “That was just… we were both lonely, I think? It didn’t mean anything, so no, he won’t mind.”

”Okay.”

”Okay?” Dani tries to read Marc’s expression, not sure whether that’s a yes or no or maybe he’s getting here.

”I’d love to.” Marc blushes when he says it and Dani just wants to throw himself at the young man next to him, still looking all ruffled from the race, with mussed hair and traces of dirt along his face, black T-Shirt clinging to every muscle of his chest.

”Good. See you at eight, maybe? I hope you like Pasta.”

”Sounds perfect, really. And I do. I’ll just… I need to go home then now, let my parents know.”

”Sure. See you later then?”

Dani tries to sound less eager, but he doesn’t think it’s working. It’s comforting thought that Marc almost trips over his own feet when he gets up, hurrying away with his phone already in hand. He waves at him quickly in passing and Dani hears him talk on the phone already, discussing something about being picked up. He wonders whether the younger knows his address at all, but eventually figures that the village is so tiny that yes, he probably knows exactly where the _stranger_ has moved in. 

***

”Pol?”

”Hi there, buddy, how was the final race?”

”Second. All good. Listen, I need your help. A really big favor. It’s really important.”

”What happened? You sound bad!”

”No. Yes. Maybe. Listen, I think I have… a date?”

”With…?”

”Dani.”

”No way.”

”He asked me to come to his place for dinner. That is a date right?”

”Wow… I mean… you’re sure you’re going?”

”Yes. Of course I am. It’s Dani. I- I have to find out, you know?”

”Okay… and how do I have to help?”

”I’ll tell my parents I’m sleeping at your place.”

”Wait. Sleeping? You sure?”

”He said he did casual with Jorge… so yeah, I think that’s what he wants.”

”Is _that_ what you want?”

”I want him. Anyway I can get him.”

”Marc, don’t you think you should take that slower? I mean… you’ve never hurried with things like this and-“

”It’s never been about Dani. So no, no way I’m taking this slow. Are you going to be my alibi or not?”

”Yes, sure I will. But take care, will you?”

”Always. And Pol?”

”Have you ever… I mean, with a guy?”

”No. Just no. Ask Vale. I cannot help you with that.”

”Shit. You really think I can ask him?”

”It’s either him or google. Because I sure won’t help you with that.”

***

”Uh, Jorge?” Vale leans against the garage wall, looking at Jorge who has just finished packing away their equipment.

”Mhm?”

”You and Dani… you guys aren’t seeing each other, right?”

_Rossi, what brought this on?_

”Uh, no. Why? You jealous?” Jorge plays for time, irritated by Vale’s sudden interest in his love life.

”Haha,” the older huffs and motions for him to go outside for a cigarette. “No. I just think… well… I think Marc might be _interested_.”

_Oh. Well._

”What if Dani was interested as well?” Jorge asks hesitantly, because he still has his suspicions on the topic.

”We’d be screwed?”

Probably, Vale is very right on that. Jorge doesn’t even want to try imagining Julia’s reaction. Leave alone Roser’s. He shudders.

”Mhm. Yeah, we would.” Jorge lights cigarettes for both of them. “So… I know because Dani might have been a bit too interested in Marc’s background. How did you figure it out?”

”First he asked me how I knew I liked both girls and boys,” Jorge coughs, not having expected Marc to ask Vale questions like _that_ or talk about things like that, ever, “then I watched them and it was kind of telling and-“ Vale stops, shrugging helplessly and, Jorge almost gasps, is Vale blushing?

”And what?” He asks, Vale’s reactions worrying him.

”And this afternoon he called me and asked me how sex with a guy felt.”

Vale is staring at the floor and Jorge bites back a laugh. Because well, this would be too damned funny if it wasn’t for Marc’s age and his parents. And he can tell that next to him, Vale is trying to hold back some laughter, too, and eventually, they do end up both giggling like schoolgirls.

”So Vale,” Jorge asks, voice still breathless, “what did you tell him?”

”Wouldn’t _you_ you like to know.” The older bumps his shoulder and Jorge breaks out into laughter again. _At least, we are getting back to normal then. I think, I might have missed having these moments with you._

***

Marc puts away his bike and goes to ring Dani’s doorbell. He just hopes that nobody who knows him sees him sneaking around here. His parents aren’t exactly happy about this. And Alex gave him a raised eyebrow when he saw him. Because Alex knows him well enough to realize that he hasn’t put his favorite jeans and a high quality grey V-neck on for a night at Pol’s. Usually, he wouldn’t style his hair for that either. He can just hope that Alex will keep his mouth shut and for the time being, that’s what his little brother had done. Though Marc suspects, he’ll pay a price for the younger’s silence eventually.

He steps in front of the door and reads through the small signs, searching the bell for Dani’s apartment. In his right hand, he holds his backpack and once again he wonders if he’s reading things right or if he’s making a fool of himself to bring stuff for the night. And anyway. The _night_. Marc shudders. He’s not sure he’s ready to face _this_ , now that he’s successfully postponed the moment for seventeen years. And Vale hadn’t been willing to reveal much, but the bits and pieces he knows and heard are enough to make him tremble. But he’s quite sure that _this_ is what Dani’s invitation is about. And well, if Dani’s more the type for casual hook ups, then Marc can learn how to fit in with that, right?

_As long as it gets me close to you, I’ll go along with it._

Determinedly, he tries to swallow down his nervousness, a shaky finger pressing the button.

_Okay. Visor down and start._

***

The sound of the doorbell makes Dani jump, all his nerves returning inconveniently and his stomach twisting into a knot.

_This is bound to end in a disaster._

He still can’t believe he invited a teenager for dinner. To his place. As if there’s much left to the imagination where that’s heading. Marc accepted though and Dani supposes the younger never opposes a little adventure. Only, Dani doesn’t think he wants this to be an adventure? Well, if that’s all he gets, he’ll take it though. 

On the way to the door, he notices how his place still looks empty, too little furniture, no private touch and he wonders how far below Marc’s standards all of this must be. He sighs, resigning to fate, because it’s not like he can change anything about that now. He gives himself a last quick glance in the hallway mirror, nodding contently. His favorite dark jeans never fail him and he thinks the black pullover is the right mix of casual and making an effort for tonight. Swallowing down the lump in his throat, he reaches for the button that opens the door downstairs and then holds open his apartment’s door.

_Ready. Set. Go._

***

_Wow. Just wow._

Marc stares and he’s not even embarrassed, because this sight, it deserves to be stared at. Dani standing in his doorway, in that black pullover, dark denim hugging his legs, casually leaning against the doorframe with a smile that could probably melt the icecaps. Marc feels a wave of heat flash through his body and that’s not because of climbing the stairs.

”Hey, nice that you made it.”

Dani pulls him into a brief hug and Marc pats the smaller man’s back in return, the fabric of Dani’s pullover soft against his fingers and the smell of Dani’s aftershave enveloping him. He just wants to reach out and hold the other close, nuzzle his face into the crook of Dani’s neck. But it’s too early for that, he assumes.

”Sure.” Marc lets his bag fall to the floor and hands Dani his coat, not missing the way the older looks him up and down. His cheeks heat up slightly and he smiles nervously. “It smells great.”

He means it. Whatever Dani has on his stove, it sure smells like a tasty dinner.

”I think it should be ready. If you want, we can go and eat right away.”

For a moment, he thinks that Dani looks as nervous as he himself feels. He follows the other’s lead, taking his place at the small kitchen table. The apartment looks immaculate, but also still a bit generic, impersonal. Marc figures that’s normal though, with Dani only here for a couple of weeks. And it’s scary, he thinks, how familiar and normal Dani’s presence feels after such a short time.

”Wine, beer, water?”

He should be taking water. Tomorrow is a school day after all.

”Wine.”

_Well. I can still be mature next year, right?_

Dani pours both of them a glass of red. It tastes good and, maybe more important, helps a bit at slowing down Marc’s heartbeat. They don’t talk much over dinner, though Marc emphasizes how much he likes the pasta. It’s not even an exaggeration, it’s really a good meal and Dani sure knows what he’s doing. Other than that, they’re mostly quiet. But then, Marc thinks, it feels like their eyes are having their conversation for them, with all the stolen glances, raised eyebrows and winks they’re giving each other. And under the table, their knees first brush against each other, then nudge and by the end of the meal, rest firmly against each other.

”Do you want dessert?” 

Their plates are empty and Marc shakes his head.

”No, I don’t think that anything else fits in there.” He rests a hand on his stomach and laughs, slightly nervous. Because of the wine that’s already going to his head and even more because for him, this is a first. A situation that’s awfully unfamiliar and he feels lost, unsure of what he’s supposed to do or say next. Dani hadn’t mentioned anything about staying over, hadn’t said anything about the backpack he’d dropped in the hallway, only given it a curious glance. Marc wonders if he should suggest leaving.

”Maybe a coffee?” Dani points at a small espresso machine and Marc nods gratefully.

_Are dates always so difficult? Or does this get easier over time? Can you practice and then it becomes less awkward?_

They move to the couch to have their espresso, Dani sitting with one leg crossed and facing him and Marc takes small sips of the hot drink while he allows himself to just get lost in Dani’s face for a moment, memorizing all the lines and features and staring into the dark brown of the other man’s eyes that always seem like there’s so much hidden depth and pain behind them.

***

Marc is looking straight at him, holding his gaze and Dani can’t stop looking, feels himself drown in two dark brown dots that seem to hold all the mysteries of his world in this very moment. Two hours ago, his nerves had been wrecked. Now, he feels strangely calm, even so the tension between them is palpable, the air somehow thick. He has no doubt about Marc’s plans, because that bag in his hallway is a rather direct message. And no, Dani doesn’t have the self-restraint to say no to this, not tonight. And not when he’s sitting so close to him, close enough to see the first hint of stubble on Marc’s cheeks, to smell him, scent of shower gel and aftershave and detergent mixed with a bit of wine and garlic now. Trying to make it seem accidental, he shuffles with his legs until their knees are touching again. If it were physically possible, he’s pretty sure the air would be glistening between them.

When he puts a hand on Marc’s knee, just lets it rest there, like an unspoken invitation, he hears the other inhale sharply. Their gazes stay locked and Dani thinks as long as there’s no sign of refusal in Marc’s eyes, he must be on the right track here. So he gather his courage and ignores the warning voices of reason in his head to put his other arm up, hand reaching around Marc’s neck, heart exploding in his chest. His thumb rubs little circles in Marc's hair and the younger shivers visibly. With fascination, Dani notices the way Marc's pupils blow wide, eye color changing from dark brown to midnight black. As if there was an unspoken agreement, they simultaneously move their heads towards each other and Dani can hear his own blood rush in his head. He just about notices Marc’s hand in his hair before he finally closes his eyes and then leans in for the last few inches it takes him to meet Marc’s mouth.

_Finally._

_Two atoms they collide in all their random ways_  
_The meeting of you and I not so random some might say_  
_He walks up close to me and he looks me in the eyes,_  
_He said,_  
_"Boy, what's it gonna be, now that it's just you and I?"_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> _Fool for you_ ; John Butler Trio


	14. Strong

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is one of those chapters that I wanted to have perfectly right and messed up completely in the process. I hope the final version turned out okay. Though I think I'll never be happy with this... I have such a perfect vision of this night in my head... it just won't come out right on paper :/

This is actually happening, all of it. He’s in Dani’s apartment, on Dani’s couch and his mouth is pressed against Dani’s mouth. If it didn’t feel so good, warmth of Dani’s lips on his and Dani’s hand around his neck, firmly holding him in place, Marc would think it’s one of those dreams he’s been having too often lately. But this is completely real and it’s even better than he expected. His hand moves, over soft fabric, coming to rest against Dani’s chest and it’s hard under his touch, toned. So different from Nora’s, so beautiful, so hot. He feels Dani’s teeth scrape over his bottom lip, pulling on it carefully. It makes him hum approvingly and soon their lips are parted, their tongues licking into each other’s mouth. Dani’s exploring gently and Marc tastes the older with curiosiyt, mix of wine and coffee and cigarettes intoxicating. He never wants to forget this feeling, the comfort of feeling Dani’s thumb run over his jaw, his own fingers running over the other’s stubble, Dani’s scent all around him, sounds of their messy kiss filling the room, Dani’s forehead hot against his own, a sheen of sweat between them.

The reality of what is happening and what is going to happen next is making his heart hammer nervously and then, he’s also hard. Almost painfully so already, even if it’s only been a couple of minutes of making out. And if he’d had any doubts left, he now knows for a fact that Nora just isn’t the one. That most likely, girls aren’t what he’s looking for at all. And that Dani has him under his spell.

As he thinks the lines left are going to be crossed eventually anyway, Marc lets his hands roam, both sliding under Dani’s pullover greedily. The smaller man’s skin is hot against his palms. And smooth, smoother than he expected. _Do you shave everywhere?_ He feels over ribs and defined muscles, his nails scraping lines on Dani’s back. When the smaller man moans into their kiss, it sends a flash of lust through his entire body, because wow, Marc seems to be doing something right here.

_You want me. Of all the people you could have. You actually want me._

***

Marc’s hands, Marc’s touch, it’s sending all these little electric sparks through his nerves and Dani shudders against the boy’s body. He never breaks their kiss, never takes his hand away from Marc’s neck, his thumb still rubbing over Marc’s jaw. A hint of stubble under his fingers, the taste of their saliva mixing with droplets of blood while they’re both becoming greedier. Dani keeps moaning softly, can't hold back and the more Marc’s hands roam over his body, possessively and greedily, the more desperate he gets and the more he feels like his jeans are going to burst any minute. And yes, _this_ is really happening, _this_ is really on offer tonight. 

Dani pulls his head back, opens his eyes, finds Marc staring at him with a look between surprise and despair, lips red and glistening and panting, eyes black, chest heaving.

”Bedroom?” Dani has trouble even forming the single word, his brain not cooperating well anymore, everything overwritten with one simple thought. _Want Marc now._ And he barely registers the breathed “yes” from _his_ boy, his lover. He only gets up with difficulty, legs like jelly. Marc’s hands are gone from under his pullover now and the loss of touch is making him shiver. He pulls the younger along, restless, needy, until they’re in front of his bed where he all but attacks him, desperate to finally get his hands on that skin, on the body he’s stolen glances at while the younger was changing earlier today. He tugs at Marc’s V-neck impatiently, the boy getting the hint and helping him along eventually. When the offending fabric is finally gone, Dani just stands there, gasping and possibly gaping for a moment.

”So beautiful,” he whispers, eyes staring at Marc’s heaving chest, at these packs of firm muscles covered by tanned skin. Desperate and hungry, Dani’s mouth latches against Marc’s neck, sucks a bruise, his hands mapping every inch of the other they can get to and he loses himself in that mix of soft, tender skin and firm lines of bones and muscles, along with the needy little whines that fall from Marc’s mouth. 

He feels Marc tug at his pullover, too, somewhat uncoordinatedly. And he reluctantly breaks away, sheds his own clothes, sees Marc’s eyes go wide when his jeans drop to the floor, sees the way his hand reaches out tentatively but not quite daring. Lips curved into a small smile, Dani covers the younger man’s fingers with his own, gently places them over the bulge in his boxer briefs, inhaling sharply. 

He bites his lips, stifling a moan, forehead resting against Marc’s shoulder. Marc seems to be holding his breath, his fingers trapped between Dani’s hand and Dani’s bulge and Dani’s cock twitches helplessly against the touch.

After a teasing moment of stillness, Marc’s fingers begin to move appreciatively, tracing the outline of his hard on, making Dani’s knees give in. He mumbles a few expletives against the skin of Marc’s neck and then feels the other grow a bit more courageous, fingers now teasing mercilessly.

”Shit. So good,” the huskiness of his voice surprises himself and he hears a soft chuckle from Marc.

***

”Can I?” Dani’s hands are on his belt buckle and the older looks up at him through his lashes, eyes black with lust. Marc has never seen anything this beautiful in his life, has never felt anything as amazing as Dani’s cock, hard for _him_. He nods as if he was hypnotized, biting his bottom lip. And Dani’s fingers know what they’re doing, belt and jeans gone instantly. The press of a palm against his cock, even with last layer of cotton left for now, makes him buck forward, moaning involuntarily. 

He almost automatically falls back on Dani’s bed, sitting with his legs open, not even ashamed of the ridiculous amount of want and need he feels. In the back of his head, he is vaguely aware that this might be a mistake, that he should tell Dani about his lack of experience. Vale’s brief explanations… they should be a warning, he should know that what’s going to happen won’t be only good. None of it matters though, Marc realizes, when you really _want_ , the term desire currently being reevaluated in his head. And really, with a sight like this, Dani’s gorgeous body – and damned, does he have a six pack – right in front of him, available, how could Marc not be crazy with lust?

Dani holds his gaze while he steps out of his boxers and it’s the first time for Marc to see another man’s cock like this, fully hard, waiting, wanting, drop of precome at the tip. He can’t help but lick his lips at the sight.

The older is now tugging on Marc’s underwear and he lifts his hips enough for Dani to pull them off, watches the other with a hint of nervousness, not sure if Dani will like what he is going to see. The appreciative hum from Dani’s lips is all the answer he needs though and gives him enough courage to reach out and cup the other man’s face, pulling him up for another kiss. One that involves a lot of tongue and teeth and a bit of blood, one where Dani is looming over him, their cocks brushing against each other. Marc isn’t sure if it’s him or Dani making these needy noises, but probably, it’s both of them.

At some point, in that greedy mess of tangled limbs that they’ve become, a finger slips between his cheeks and it takes him all his willpower not to freeze on the spot, because within an instant, all the doubts, all the insecurities are right back. How should he be capable of being enough for Dani? Who has more experience, more skills at this and Marc hopes he won’t be a disappointment. And he also feels a not so little spark of fear that _this_ might not be as easy as he thought or hoped it would be, reminds himself desperately that he's been through worse pain and that he's always been strong enough to bear things.

”You’re sure about this?” Dani’s head pulls back, eyes meeting his questioningly.

Marc worries something in his behavior gave him away. He does his best to look confident.

”Yes, absolutely.”

With a small nod, Dani reaches past him, grabbing things from the nightstand. Marc doesn’t have to look to know what it is and he doesn’t really want to see, doesn’t need another reminder of what he’s gotten himself into. For a moment, he wants to say something, tell Dani about… well… _that_ fact about himself, but then Dani is kissing a line down his chest, littering his skin with little feathery kisses and it sends all these shivers down his spine, so that he forgets what he was going to say.

He’d be ashamed of the way his legs fall open if he was still capable of clear thoughts, but as it is, Dani is biting the inside of his thigh and Marc can’t do anything but release another very wanton moan and tighten his newfound grip on Dani’s shoulders.

A cold finger is running over his cock, making him shudder and he hasn’t even noticed Dani fiddling with lube, but the finger is cool and slick and next thing he knows it’s ghosting over the skin between his cheeks, running over his hole. He gasps, pulls a hand up to bite, because he thinks he doesn’t want Dani to hear this. The finger pushes and for a split-second, Marc realizes that yes, it’s happening. Here. Now. With Dani. Then, Dani’s tongue licks a wet stripe along his cock and his ability to think or form words is gone. Instead, he sees fireworks, hips bucking up sharply and his hand stifles a very needy wail.

***

Marc is falling apart under his touch and it’s the hottest thing Dani has ever seen, the writhing lean body on his white sheets, the younger covering his eyes with one arm, the other hand tangled in Dani’s hair, chest shaking with irregular breaths. And he’s tight, so tight around Dani’s fingers. It takes all his self-control not to push right into the tempting heat. Dani is leaning on trembling arms by now, fingers moving agonizingly slow, trying to give Marc time, waiting and waiting some more for the younger to relax around him. They haven't discussed their experiences and maybe the should have, but then, Dani ponders, everything about this night so naturally led them right here, that he doesn't doubt it's what they both wanted all along. Suddenly, the boy almost flies off the mattress, loud growl echoing through the room, when Dani's curled fingers find his prostate and that’s when Dani decides that yes, they’re both ready.

He scoots up the bed, hides his face in the crook of Marc’s neck and with his last reserves of willpower, manages to push in slowly. Pained groans come from the younger man’s lips at first and Dani tries, really hard, to hold back a little more, pants helplessly into the pillow, arms shaking. When he bottoms out, Marc is gasping for air and his nails are digging sharply into the skin of Dani’s shoulder. It’s amazing, Dani thinks in that last moment of clarity, how much Marc trusts him, how he’s splayed out here for him at his most vulnerable, enduring obvious pain, but still clinging to Dani as if holding on to dear life.

_Shit, you’re so beautiful. So strong._

It’s the last thing on his mind before he starts moving and he’s not sure if he’s said it out loud. And it doesn’t matter, because he’s no longer thinking of anything, body reduced to feeling, wanting and craving. After a few tentative moves, he finds the right angle. At least, he assumes so from the string of swears that Marc hisses into the semi-darkness of his bedroom. It’s all the encouragement Dani needs to start thrusting in earnest, hand reaching between their bodies, fingers curling around Marc’s cock. Marc’s heels dig into the small of his back, urging him closer, deeper and Dani complies without hesitation.

”God, Dani, yes.”

His name, whined from those lips, Marc’s body convulsing under him, hot liquid splashing between their stomachs and Marc’s grip impossible tight in his hair, it’s a moment Dani will never forget. Not in a lifetime, not if he fucks a hundred other men, this one will outweigh all of them he’s sure and he screams when he stumbles over the edge, loud and desperate, Marc’s muscles clenching around him almost painfully.

He collapses on top of Marc, their bodies shaking through their afterglows together, sound of panting surrounding them. It takes him a moment to come down enough to blink his eyes open and turn his head, meeting Marc’s gaze, a tentative smile around the younger’s lips. What he sees and feels when he looks at the boy’s face, that face that even in the dim light of a lonely table lamp is the most beautiful he’s ever seen, it blows Dani’s mind and takes him by surprise.

_I think I love you. Shit, no, I know I love you._

_Yeah, I might seem so strong_  
> _Yeah, I might speak so long_  
_I've never been so wrong_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> _Strong_ , London Grammar


	15. You Should Know Where I'm Coming From

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ♥ ♥ ♥  
> Thank you so much for the feedback to the last chapter. It means so, so, so much to me. That was such a special chapter to post. Just THANK YOU!!! ♥

_Maybe you can stop before you start_  
_Maybe you can see that I just may be too crazy to love_

Marc rolls to his side and loses himself in Dani’s eyes, the two of them having a wordless conversation there and then, tuning back in to reality. It’s astonishing how dark they are, Marc wonders, though that might be partly due to the dim light. And that smile around Dani’s lips, he’d almost call it incredulous? As if Dani never expected this to happen? The older looks so soft, softer than usual. March shudders when Dani reaches for his face and one of his fingers is tracing Marc’s jaw. It’s an incredibly careful touch, he thinks, sending millions off little butterflies lose in Marc’s stomach and he bites his lip, smiling back.

_I’ve never felt this way before. So, so happy and content and just kind of complete, because you’re here and you’re wonderful. And _that_ was wonderful, even if it hurt like hell and I don’t think I can walk anymore._

It’s Dani who closes the distance between them, kissing Marc’s lips. There’s nothing greedy about his kiss anymore, it’s nothing like what they did earlier. It’s not an introduction to anything else. It’s just a kiss designed to be a kiss, lips on lips, to be close to each other, feel each other. Marc responds and bends forward, one hand resting against Dani’s chest. He feels the older man’s heartbeat, slowing down, breath even now. And when Dani’s arm wraps around his shoulders, Marc feels so safe and suddenly so very tired. He just wants to curl up and sleep, leave the cleaning up for tomorrow and he’s grateful that Dani doesn’t seem to mind, only pulls him in closer and tugs the sheets up over their bodies.

There’s all these clichés he’s heard and read about, in lyrics, movies and books, that suddenly make sense. All these expressions that from one moment to the next have an actual meaning. Butterflies in his stomach. Feeling at home in someone’s arms. Floating on clouds. Now, Marc thinks, he understands and though it takes him a fair amount of willpower, he manages to push the thought of tomorrow, of having to leave and pretend that none of this ever happened, aside for now, manages to focus on what he has, next to him, namely a gorgeous man who seems to know what he’s doing and to find all of his sensitive spots, a hand travelling over Marc’s sides now, tracing each rib.

If he could, he’d make this last forever, but eventually, he cannot fight back an exhausted yawn. It has been a long weekend after all, with three races and tomorrow is a school day, too. At least, he thinks, Dani doesn’t seem to want him to leave yet.

 _You ought to know where I'm coming from_  
_How I was alone when I burnt my home_

Marc falls asleep in his hold, head against his shoulders and it’s overwhelming. That feeling of need and want, the desire to stay here forever, to hold him closer, ever so much closer. And the desperate want to see him happy, make him happy. Except that slowly, the realization creeps back in that of all the people Marc could have, Dani most certainly isn’t the one who is going to make him happy. The thought almost brings tears to his eyes and it stings, makes his heart ache. Literally. But it’s the truth and nothing but.

Dani allows himself to linger for a while longer, fingertips still exploring Marc’s smooth skin, nose buried in Marc’s hair. Dreaming and wishing that life could be like this all the time. There’s a surprising innocence to a sleeping Marc, the usual guards of overconfidence and wittiness gone. And it takes Dani’s breath away that he is allowed to see the younger like this, vulnerable and unguarded.

_You let me see you shy and insecure. And if I read you right, even in pain. God, I’m so sorry I caused that. And I’m so sorry you’re here. You shouldn’t be here. Not with me. Never with me._

Dani also knows, or maybe, for the sake of calming his raging conscience, he prays, that for Marc, this has been nothing more than an outlet, something to come down to after all the emotions of a race weekend. Dani remembers the times, he really does. And he expects that as innocent and beautiful as the boy is resting against him, the confident mode of “super brat” will be right back in the morning and as it is at Marc’s age, Dani will hopefully fade into a distant memory quickly, because at the end of the day, people Marc’s age are more exciting. Have more things in common with him. Have more to offer to him. And Dani really never wanted to hurt the boy, so he can just hope, has to hope, despite his own emotions, that their night doesn't mean anything. It's simply not allowed to mean anything.

Once Marc’s breathing is completely even and Dani thinks the younger is sound asleep, he disentangles as quietly as possible, sliding in a hoodie and sweats on his way to the balcony. In the doorway, he turns, eyes wandering down the peaceful figure splayed out on his bed. He watches him with his bottom lip bitten, until he feels tears on his cheeks and tastes blood in his mouth.

He knows the night was mistake, knows he should have never allowed this to happen. But even though he had known that he had a thing for Marc before tonight, the amount of affection, want and possibly, love, that he feels now that he’s been close to the boy, it’s come as a surprise, has taken him down like a wrecking ball. He’d expected them to have fun and hot sex and then part their ways with a smile, the burning desire he’d felt for Marc before ebbing away. Because until tonight, that’s how it’s always been with guys for him. Dani hasn’t done serious with a man before.

He’s leaning over the balcony railing, shivering in the freezing air, watching the thin lines of smoke he’s leaving behind. He used to have so many of these sleepless nights, but lately, after moving here, it had gotten better. Life, overall, has been good here. But tonight, for the first time in the last couple of weeks, Dani really wants to be somewhere else. 

The worst thing about all this is that he hasn’t even told Marc who he really is. Or rather, what he’s done. That the younger has no idea what he's gotten himself into by being here with Dani. And though technically speaking, he didn’t lie, he just omitted. And though Marc never asked. Dani still feels like he’s lying to the boy, like Marc has now had an adventure with someone he’d never even hugged if he’d known about Dani’s past. 

He squeezes his eyes shut, more tears running down his face. In his head, the flashbacks return, the pictures of the accident’s scene, the despair he felt in the court room, the fear, that cold, hopeless fear that took his breath and words away and that never left him from the day they arrested him to the day he was released. He can still feel the handcuffs against his wrists, rubs the skin there absentmindedly and swallows against the lump that’s forming in his throat. Sometimes, he still has nightmares. Still wakes up and thinks he’s back behind bars. Sometimes, he has to get up then and check that his bedroom door opens. He lets out a desperate huff, fingers clenching around the railing so tight that his knuckles go white and teeth gritting by instinct. He’s prayed and begged so many times that it would stop and then it would be better for a bit – only to come back and hit harder than before.

When he has finished his third cigarette and thinks he’s about to catch pneumonia, he finally goes back to bed. He drops his clothes carelessly again and then he almost stumbles over Marc’s jeans, eyes falling to the tag automatically. His chest constricts painfully again, the realization that the simple piece of denim cost several times the amount that Dani would spend on his own, cost more than any piece of clothing Dani has ever bought. 

_As if I could ever measure up to your standards._

And it’s not as if Dani hasn’t noticed over the course of the weekend that Marc and Vale are not just some guys riding bikes but that it seemed as if everyone there knew them, admired them, envied them. Damned, the boy has been asked to sign stuff by people. He’s so far out of Dani’s league, Dani shouldn’t even see him in the distance.

He crawls back under the sheets, warms himself by cuddling up closely against Marc. And though he’d been sure he’d never get a minute of sleep this night, not with all the grim thoughts running havoc in his mind, it only takes him a couple of minutes pressed against Marc’s chest, the boy’s equal breath hot against his neck and his heartbeat vibrating through Dani’s body before he’s out cold. And no, the nightmares don’t come this night.

 _What if I said I was just too young?_  
_What if I said I was built on bricks of carelessness and crumbs_

His phone’s alarm blares mercilessly and it takes Marc a while to figure out where he is, where the damned phone is and how he can turn it off. When he’s finally managed, he’s crouched over his jeans on Dani’s bedroom floor, looking up to a very ruffled mechanic who’s blinking at him from the bed.

”You have to get up _now_?”

He can’t help but laugh, the older looking beyond adorable with puffy cheeks and messy hair and now also yawning helplessly. He gets up with a shrug and then leans down, kissing Dani’s forehead.

”Yeah, I usually run for an hour and then I have to get to school.”

”You’re going to go for a run _now_?”

Every alarm bell in his body is ringing, his brain is shouting _No, don’t say it. DON’T._ with full force and yet…that pout... the puppy dog eyes...

”I guess I could skip it today?”

Resetting the alarm, he crawls back towards Dani and they end up in a tangle of limbs, making out lazily. Only later does he realize that they haven’t even brushed their teeth. And it’s not even weird. They’re both hard, Marc can feel Dani’s erection against his and eventually, they’re both panting between their sloppy kisses, their hips bucking and rubbing and Marc is going by instinct here, but it’s working. Really working, if he judges by the way Dani’s moaning against his mouth now.

It makes him proud that actually, Dani comes first. Even if he follows him the next second. Still. They rest their heads against each other, breathing ragged, bodies still trembling. But eventually, they realize that they’re sticky. And cold. And Marc will never forget that moment, that one wistful look that they exchange, the split-second where he thinks, hopes, prays that maybe, just maybe Dani wants more than casual. Then, he blinks and it’s gone and they both evade each other’s gaze while they disentangle from each other and the messy sheets. 

”Want to have the shower first? I’ll make some coffee.”

Dani is holding up a towel and Marc nods, taking it without a word and disappearing into the bathroom. He’ll never, not even to himself, admit that a few tears might have mixed with the stream of warm water that watches away the traces of the night before. And he wince when he moves, can't walk quite normal yet, but the pain in his ass is nothing compared to the twisting of his stomach when he thinks about leaving Dani's apartment.

 _And all of the pieces were torn and thrown_  
_You should know where I'm coming from_

Marc smells fresh and clean and looks perfect while he’s leaning against his kitchen table, finishing his coffee. The normal, broad smile is back, he’s joking like he always does, sound of his laugh still somewhere between heaven and hell to Dani’s ears. He explains that he takes the bicycle to school because he hates the bus, that it’s 12 kilometers, that his mother won’t allow him to take the motorcycle and that the exercise does him well and Dani half listens and half just watches, wanting to savor and memorize as much of this as he can. He takes in the way Marc moves his hands when he explains things, marvels the way the muscles in Marc’s neck move, inhales as deeply as he can to catch that scent, Marc’s own mixed with his shower products.

They don’t mention the previous night at all, wordlessly agreeing that it was nice but that’s it. And Dani takes him to the door and they say goodbye without as much as a hug. _See you around._ Marc had said. And Dani laughs bitterly while he climbs into the shower. Only _Sure I’ll call you babe._ would or could have been more cliché. The hot water streams over his body and he slams a fist against the tiles, pain in his hand distracting him from the dull ache in his chest. _It’s not meant to be_ , he adds another platitude to the never ending list. 

There had been that one fleeting moment after they’d made out this morning, where Dani had thought that Marc might want something more, might want to stay around. It had been gone as quickly as it came though. And if Dani had seriously expected their little adventure to cure his unhealthy craving for the boy, he knows better now where he is getting hard, again, just from the memory of their wake up call. It’s something he should and could have known from the beginning, because really, nothing like this ever turns out the way Dani wants it to.

_I really have a talent to make my own life miserable, don’t I?_

But at least he won’t make anyone else miserable, he thinks. Because he’ll be smart enough to stay away, to leave Marc be. He won’t corrupt the boy. And he doesn’t think the boy would let himself be corrupted anyway.

 _What if I said I would break your heart?_  
_What if I said I have problems that made me mean?_  
_What if I knew I would just rip your mind apart_  
_Would you let me out?_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> _You should have known where I'm coming from_ , Banks


	16. Only love can hurt like this

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the slight delay in posting. Back to back races are tough to fit in privacy sometimes. Thank you very, very much for the response to the last chapters!
> 
> The next chapter(s) are kind of "fillers" to get ahead in time and to catch up on everybody else's life... but the focus will return to Marc/Dani eventually :)

Vale thinks he can tell from the way he walks. Not that he’d ever mention a thing, but he’s not blind. And while he’s standing here, in the familiar entrance to the Marquez’ home and Marc walks off to get his brother, he can’t miss the way the younger limbs. _How did you explain that to your mom and dad though?_

”Hi Vale, what’s wrong?” The younger Marquez appears in the hallway, the older brother vanished. 

”Uh, nothing really. Just a question. Can I come in?”

”Sure. Sorry.” Alex looks adorably nervous and Vale wonders what exactly he thinks is about to happen here. He follows the teenager into the kitchen, both of them sitting down at the table and Alex’s big brown eyes still looking kind of afraid. Like a deer in headlights actually. 

”I just… you know Luca moved in with me, right?” _With us._ Vale’s head corrects the mistake, because yeah, it’s Linda’s place now, too. How quickly it went from bachelor pad to family home…

”Sure… I know.” Now Alex simply looks confused.

”Luca has problems at school. And we… uh, Linda and me… we thought you could help?”

”Help? You mean as in tutoring him?”

”Marc said you’d be the right one for the job.”

”Marc said that?” Alex gives him an incredulous look.

”Yeah, he suggested you. And we’d pay you of course.”

”Uh, okay. Sure, we could always give it a try. I’m just surprised Marc would recommend me, that’s all.”

”He said you were pretty damned smart.”

Vale doesn’t miss the very fond smile that crosses the younger Marquez’s face.

”Okay," the boy says after a while, nodding at him with a bit more confidence in his eyes, "So I’m tutoring Luca then. And you want to start like… now?”

”He’s in deep trouble if he doesn’t want to repeat, so if you had time to spare, then starting this week or as soon as possible would be perfect.”

They discuss times and money and Vale wonders if he should have asked Luca beforehand. But then, he might just as well decide this for all of them. Because in all honesty, this one Luca doesn’t have a choice in.

Alex, all polite host and showing defined signs of what Vale is sure is Roser’s upbringing, offers him coffee and cookies and later walks him out of the door. _They sure made both of you into pretty amazing young adults… do you think your mom could show me how to do that trick?_

In the doorway, Vale almost turning around to leave, he sees the question marks in Alex’s eyes all too well.

”Vale?”

”Mhm?”

”Is Marc okay?”

_Oh. Fuck._

”Uh… I think so? Why?”

”He said he hurt his thigh on his morning run, but I don’t know… he looks not just in pain. He looks so sad? And Vale, don’t tell anyone, but I don’t think he stayed at Pol’s yesterday.”

_You are an observant little brother._

”I don’t know, Alex. If you think it helps I’ll try to talk to him?”

Alex nods hesitantly.

”Don’t tell him I told you though. He’ll just think I was trying to tell on him. I’m not though, really. I’m just worried. I’m not always teasing him.”

”I know,” Vale chuckles and nudges the younger’s shoulder, “I know, Alex. I’ll talk to him, okay?”

On his way home, Vale debates whether he’ll kill Dani for getting too close to Marc or if he’ll kill Alberto for recommending Dani. Or maybe both? In the end, it’s neither as he comes back to the garage and takes a moment to really look at Dani, who with his red-rimmed puppy dog eyes and the hanging head is nothing like his usual self. Apparently, there’s more gone wrong than Vale thought and it seems Dani is more interested in Marc than he’d given him credit for. Thing is though, Vale doesn’t know what to do about it. It seems to him, that he’s not the right person to meddle in other peoples’ love lives, considering his own hasn’t exactly been an example of perfection.

***

Marc manages Monday and Tuesday, but he’s really dreading Wednesday. Because Wednesday is training day and he’ll see Dani and he doesn’t think he’s ready for that to happen. It’s strange, how the night went exactly as he expected it and the aftermath turned out so much harder. First of all, despite Vale’s warning, he hadn’t thought there’d be physical pain afterwards. And second, he would have thought that he’d be okay with leaving it there, one night stand and all. But somehow he’s not, somehow he’s hoping Dani would change his mind, call him (which is a joke in itself since they never even exchanged numbers) or do something else to show him he loves him. There was that one moment on Monday morning, before he left, where Dani had looked at him so wistfully, that Marc thought it might be more than a hook up. But the moment had been over too fast. And now he feels somehow broken and used and hates himself for feeling this way, because after all, he’d gone to Dani for the exact thing that he’d gotten. A quick, meaningless fuck. Only now it seems, once you really like someone, letting them fuck you won’t help forgetting them. Not at all.

It’s not easy to get his parents to let him visit Pol at night, not with his first race of the season coming up and the written exams around the corner. The reminder that he’d done really well last weekend and also studied hard the past days eventually gets him out though and he couldn’t be more relieved, a quiet conversation, one that he doesn’t want to have over the phone or at school, long overdue.

”So…Sunday night?” Pol raises an eyebrow. They’re sitting on Pol’s bed, Pol with a beer and Marc having water because yeah, it’s only three weeks to the start and even if Pol keeps teasing him about it, he won’t ruin that.

”Yeah. Sunday night.” Marc swallows and feels his throat become too tight. “I was at Dani’s.”

”I know that much. So… did you?”

Marc stares at the blankets, finger tracing the blue cotton of Pol’s linen. _It’s Pol. If there’s anyone you can talk to, it’s him._

”Yes. We did.”

”And?”

”How was it?”

Marc squirms under Pol’s curious gaze. They talk about everything, he knows each detail about Pol’s sex life, always absorbed everything greedily, hoping to bring it to good use in his own eventually. So why is it so difficult to talk about things now?

”It really hurt.”

”Okay… but you still… I don’t know… you still enjoyed it? You still came?”

”I did. And I don’t think he wanted to hurt me. He was really careful. But I didn’t tell him, you know?”

”Wait, he had no idea you never-“

Marc shakes his head and keeps staring at his own feet, because he doesn’t need to see the disapproval on Pol’s face. He hears it loud and clear.

”It’s normal to hurt, you know? Vale mentioned it, too,” he whispers, still watching his own socked toes.

”I know that it’s said to hurt. And yeah, going by Lisa’s reaction to _this_ I guess it does hurt quite a bit. But Marc, really, you should have talked to him about that. Don’t you think he would have had a right to know?”

He shrugs. “Maybe. It doesn’t matter though, not anymore, right?”

”Huh?”

”It was just for one night anyway. I don’t think he cares, you know?”

”Did he kick you out afterwards or what makes you think so?”

”No. No, he didn’t. I stayed and we- It was really nice. I fell asleep on his shoulder and we woke up together and everything.”

”And it was only for one night? Because what you just told me sounds different.”

”I don’t know. I left the next morning and he didn’t… ask or say anything?”

”Why didn’t you say anything?”

”I just assumed… I mean, he did casual with Jorge, too, you know?”

”And it never occurred to you that things could be different between him and you? Jorge didn’t do casual with Ricky and then did casual with Dani. People change. Relationships are different.”

Marc lets himself slide down, from sitting with his back against the wall to lying flat on his back, eyes now on Pol’s ceiling.

”I just knew. No, I know. And he hasn’t said anything that says he wants a replay of that night or something else. It’s just been for fun.”

”If you say so,” Pol mumbles after a while and Marc has his eyes closed now, but he can tell Pol is staring at him and it makes him uncomfortable. “I don’t believe you don’t want anything more though.”

It sucks when your best friend can see right through you. It’s kind of great, but it also really, really sucks.

”You used a condom though, right?” Pol asks eventually.

”Yes, mom.”

The pillow doesn’t hit his face unexpectedly. At least, it does the trick to lighten their mood and after a brief wrestle about it, they end up talking about lighter things again. But Marc sees the flash of concern in Pol’s eyes when he leaves and he also knows that once he’s back home and alone in his bed, memories of Dani will return to haunt him. It’s true that Vale had warned about the physical pain, which has faded to a somewhat distant memory already now anyway. What nobody mentioned, not Vale, not Pol, is the feeling of loneliness and longing that one night has left behind.

***

Dani doesn’t go to the track on Wednesday. He won’t go on Saturday either. If it was just up to him, he’d never go again ever. Though with a race here, the season opening actually, coming up in a few weeks, it most likely won’t be up to him. Marc’s season will start earlier as far as he heard, but only Vale and Emilio go to those races and Dani couldn’t be more grateful that his presence there neither seems to be expected nor required. Because facing Marc is the last thing he wants to do right now, even if that makes him a giant coward. He just can’t. As long as he doesn’t see the boy, he can at least keep pretending that they both wanted it to be a one-off and that it doesn’t bother him at all that they can’t have anything else. That Marc probably doesn’t want anything else.

He’s noticed Vale and Jorge’s concerned looks and he doesn’t understand how, but they seem to be aware. Which makes it even harder. But he thinks as long as he tries extra-hard at work and does his stuff as well as he can, they won’t have a reason to complain. He desperately needs to find a way to get over Marc though. Quickly. Because he hates lying in his bed with the unwashed sheets, chasing the last bits of Marc’s scent, memories and flashbacks haunting him and making him hard every single night. He hasn’t jerked off this much since he was a teenager himself and it’s ridiculous, he thinks, what the boy has made of him. The brat with the stupidly beautiful face and the ridiculously perfect six-pack. 

And that’s why, as soon as he has decided that he won’t be on track on Saturday either, he finds himself on the phone with a worried Cal.

”No, you don’t understand. I have to come this weekend. I need to go to the club.”

”Dani, really? We’ve had that before, it’s not good for you.”

”If you don’t let me stay, I’ll ask someone else.”

Of course, Cal eventually agrees to let him stay over. Not without a stern warning, not without reminding him countless times that going to the club has never helped him before. Dani hates the knowledge that most likely, Cal is right. And even _knowing_ that doesn’t make him change his mind, because he needs relief and he thinks he’ll find it this way. At least, some of it.

_I tell myself you don't mean a thing,_  
_And what we got, got no hold on me_  
_But when you're not there I just crumble_  
_I tell myself I don't care that much,_  
_But I feel like I die 'til I feel your touch._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> _Only love can hurt like this_ , Paloma Faith


	17. Sweet Child o'Mine

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A bit of a time warp, Vale as narrator and motherhen, a bit of randomness... I promise the ones after this will slowly zoom in on Marc/Dani again ;)

Vale ultimately decides against meddling. Not completely voluntarily. But he does ask Linda what she thinks about the entire mess and she makes a more than clear statement that can be summarized as “stay out of their business”. Since she’s much better with these things, he grudgingly accepts his role as a spectator.

As far as Marc is concerned, Vale doesn’t miss the longing glances he sends towards Dani whenever he’s at the store. He doesn’t miss how Marc looks around the track, searching for something or rather someone. Once, he tries to talk to him about what happened. During his first race weekend, or rather afterwards, on their drive home. Marc has won his races with a sovereignty that surprises on a seventeen year old and Vale is bursting with pride, while Marc is sitting in the passenger seat, mostly sulking. That’s when Vale asks him, about that night that no-one ever talks about. But when the boy just shrugs and says they hadn’t done much and things were okay, Vale remembers Linda’s words and keeps his mouth shut. Though it’s not exactly easy to watch, the way these two are slowly killing each other.

When it comes to Dani, it’s more than obvious how he refuses to come along to the track, how he seems to isolate himself. Jorge keeps throwing him concerned glances, but it seems that Dani won’t talk to Jorge about this either. And he always leaves on the weekends, returns with red eyes, dark circles and once, a nasty bruise on his chin. That he won’t explain to them. Vale tries to call Alberto, getting the same “Don’t mess with their business” talk from the older that he’s already gotten from Linda. And though he has more urgent issues, like Linda throwing her career away or having to find a way to raise Luca, he cannot help worrying about the oblivious turtledoves in front of his eyes. And it’s tearing at him to see them like this.

Life picks up even more pace then, with the first north cup cross race of the season held on their track, with Jorge planning to race, Ricky announcing his start, all the club’s racers involved, be it Marc or the Alex’es. Even Emilio would start in the senior field and he has Luca enlisted in junior class, too. For Marc, Emilio and Jorge, it would be just for fun, as they’re doing different series or no series at all normally, but for the rest, this is the official start of the year and this is where it starts to really matter. Where second place is for the first loser.

At least it seems that despite the buzz and the mess around them, the extra classes with Alex are helping Luca a lot and from what he hears, the Marquez-brothers are both performing well at school. Which is understood though, because no way their mother would even let them near a bike if they weren’t overachieving at school. He can’t imagine the double pressure that Marc has to be under, A-levels and races simultaneously, because he knows that Marc’s final oral exam is the Friday before the race weekend. Seventeen year old Vale would never have had the coolness to take that exam in the morning and then just come out to the track and get his bike ready, not a word said about school. Much less would he have gotten an A+ on said exam. But Marc being Marc, he’s not even surprised. Hell, that kid studied history during his own first race weekend, as if writing essays in a van in between two runs was the most normal thing in the world.

Dani had fled for the weekend again and Vale let him, under the condition that he'd join them for the 24 hours. So he won't have to watch Marc or Dani throwing each other the kicked-puppy-looks. Now, he wonders how Jorge and Ricky will cope, because he doesn't think they've even seen after their fallout and well, that could be interesting.

As far as his own life is concerned, Vale still hasn’t talked to Linda about her choices, but by being quiet past the late-application-deadline, he’s made a silent statement that it’s okay if she stays. They don’t mention it though and Vale often feels like he’s walking on eggshells. The little black box is still hidden deeply in his drawers at work. Not because he doesn’t want to ask, but mostly because he doesn’t want to pressure Linda into more things she’s not ready for. Readiness… a strange concept at times. Because the Thursday before the races, Vale receives a text that he’s really not ready for. 

_Hey! Just wanted you to hear it from and not from anyone else: I will be married and I’ll be a dad soon. You still mean so much to me though, never forget that. Maybe we’ll invite you to the wedding? xx Casey._

Vale is not prepared for the news. Not one bit.

***

He sees him the moment he parks his van in the paddock. It’s ironic, he thinks, how of all the hundreds of people here, Ricky would be the one standing next to his parking spot.

Pretending that he hasn’t seen him won’t work, sitting in the van forever looks too ridiculous, so Jorge is forced to climb out, walk up to him and say hi. He’s surprised to find himself pulled into a hug, Ricky leaning against his shoulder.

”Hey, I missed you.”

The words, hoarsely whispered into his shirt, they surprise him even more. After all, it’s been Ricky who decided they shouldn’t see each other anymore. Who wouldn’t take him back no matter how many times he apologized for his jealousy. Jorge steps back, still startled and looks at the other with raised eyebrows.

”You missed me?” There’s a lump in his throat and his heart starts racing, because yeah, this is Ricky. His Ricky. And wow, he’s missed Ricky like crazy, every single day they’d been apart.

”I have. So, so much.”

Jorge throws himself at Ricky before the other has finished his words and they cling to each other, bodies shaking and heads buried in the other’s neck, hands grabbing fistfuls of shirts. Jorge inhales the familiar scent, feels himself taken back to better days, a smile tugging at his lips.

”I’m so sorry,” he mutters into Ricky’s hair, “so sorry.”

It’s Ricky who starts the kiss, slow and tentative, almost like their first kiss a few years ago. And he still tastes the same, a bit of coffee, a hint of tobacco and a lot of just Ricky. Jorge pokes his tongue out, chasing after the taste, licking into Ricky’s mouth. It’s not long before the kiss is messy and because he’s still vaguely aware that they’re in public, he pushes Ricky inside the van.

The younger comes to sit on the floor, back against the tool shelf and Jorge ends up in his lap, straddling him, devouring him. He shudders and gasps when their hard bulges rub against each other for the first time. This moment, it’s what he’s been hoping and dreaming of for months now and it’s finally here – and suddenly, still in the middle of a sloppy make-out-session, Jorge realizes that it’s not making him happy. Or not as happy as he wanted to be. Should be. Expected to be. As if something was missing suddenly.

He breaks the kiss, pulling his head away a bit and staring at Ricky, who eyes him curiously. They’re both panting, both shuddering and Jorge looks into the other’s eyes and suddenly he knows. The way Ricky is looking at him, it’s fond and right now, also damned horny, but it’s not even close to the way Vale looks at Linda. Or Dani looks at Marc. And slowly, it dawns upon him, that he’s not looking at Ricky like that either. At least, not anymore. He doesn’t think he gets as tender and loving as Vale does whenever he looks at his bike or Linda. And neither of them gets these sparkles in their eyes, the ones Marc gets when he watches Dani. 

”This… I’m sorry, but this isn’t leading anywhere, right?” Jorge bites his lip, fights the urge to be with Ricky anyway. Reminds himself that he’s better now, that he shouldn’t start anything that’s based on pretense.

”I-,” Ricky hesitates, but he nods, “I know.”

They keep looking at each other, Jorge couldn’t even say for how long, but he thinks their gazes go from shock to wonder and the tension slowly drains from the air around them. Eventually, he scrambles off Ricky’s lap and they hug, just like friends would.

”Are we okay?” He asks, head still on Ricky’s shoulder.

”Yeah, I think so.”

”You think we’ll be friends again one day?”

”I guess,” Ricky lets go off him and smiles, climbs half out of the van before he turns back to add, “One day, I’m sure.”

***

”Hey, Luca, that was a really good race,” Alex says cheerily, flopping down on the bench right next to the younger.

”Thanks,” Luca’s cheeks blush and Alex suppresses some giggles, because that’s just so typical, “Yeah. Could have been worse, I think.”

Vale’s brother shrugs, eying the table, not even smiling.

”Are you kidding me? You came in third. That’s awesome!” It really is, Alex thinks, because 85cc is a tough class this year with lots of serious competition.

”Vale would have won.” The other sounds full of resignation and suddenly it hits Alex, because it’s a train of thought he knows all too well.

”You’re not Vale, you’re Luca.”

”Yeah, that’s the problem, right?”

”Why is being different from your brother a problem?”

”I’ll never be as good as him. I’ll always be the loser.” Luca is still staring at the table and Alex has to resist the urge to shake him now, desperate to talk some confidence into that broken heap of sadness there.

”So what? Do you think I’ll ever be as good as Marc?” Luca looks up to him and wants to start talking, but Alex cuts him off. “Don’t even try. Everybody will always say ‘huh, you don’t know that, maybe one day…’ You know what? I won’t. I will never be as good as Marc, because Marc’s an exception. Like Vale is an exception. And you’re right, you won’t be as good as him, most likely not. But you know what? It doesn’t matter.”

It’s silent for a moment and Alex looks at his watch, Still twenty minutes before the lunch break is over.

”But isn’t it exactly what matters?” Luca pipes up eventually, voice a mere whisper.

”No, not at all. You just have to stop following his exact path. You’re you and you’re a rider, too. Not on his, but on your level. And you’re ambitious and dedicated and you do a damned fine job. And what matters most is that you have fun on track. Everything else will be relative. And at the end of the day, you’ll realize that there are things that you’re better at than Vale, I am sure.”

***

They leave their gear with Vale and head off on their bicycles, barely waiting for the ceremonies to be over. Because finally, finally, two days after their orals, they’ll be celebrating with their classmates. The others had been to a Dutch island for a night already, had been kicked out of their hotel because some of them tried to fry eggs on the stove – without using a pan. And now, they’ll use Sunday night to camp next to the gravel lake and he can go and so can Marc. 

”So, excited?” He eyes his best friend curiously, thinking how Marc should look so much happier after winning everything.

”Yeah, I guess.” 

”Well, don’t get too happy… you know… you only got A’s on your exams and won all of your races, not like you’d have anything to celebrate.”

Marc doesn’t reply, just pokes his tongue out. They finish the rest of the way mostly by suggestions from Pol what Marc should be drinking to get him into a decent mood.

They’re greeted with cheering and wolf whistles and Pol knows most of those are for Marc, every girl’s secret crush. But he doesn’t have any harsh feelings, doesn’t feel inferior or anything. It’s always been like this and Marc has never mentioned it, probably doesn’t even register. Pol notices, but usually with an amused smile. Especially lately, where he is sure about his long-grown suspicion of Marc’s real orientation. Occasionally, he even feels sorry for the girls, who so openly try to flirt and who are ignored expertly by a totally oblivious Marc.

For a while, he tries to get Marc to enjoy himself a bit more, even manages to get a bit of tequila inside him. It turns out somewhat successful, as Marc starts to warm up and talk to people, eventually settling next to the fire and taking turns with Scott at playing guitar. Of course, sitting at a bonfire and holding a guitar is the last straw it takes for Marc to be irresistible and Pol is almost sure that even the most loyal girls here would forget their boyfriend’s name just looking at Marc like this. The familiar sound of the riff from “Sweet child of mine” makes Pol grin widely. It’s what he calls Marc’s show-off piece and hearing it means that Marc has reached his usual level of cockiness. At least for the night. _Job accomplished._

Pol’s eyes fall on Lisa and he cringes briefly, because seeing her laugh and joke around with her friends, leaning against her new boyfriend’s chest, it still stings a bit. With a sigh, he pours himself another shot. _Seems I need it more than I thought._ While he’s still busy with the bottle, he finds Caterina in the group of people around the fire and she’s actually looking up at him, possibly winking. _Caterina... huh..._ So maybe, with a couple of shots more, the night won’t end too badly.

***

”Twenty four hour races? For Enduro?”

Cal eyes him suspiciously, but Dani can just shrug and frowns.

”Apparently, yes, it exists. Though it seems there’s only one. Either way, it seems I have to go. I mean, Vale has been understanding lately, but this one, I don’t see him letting me out. I’m surprised he let me leave this weekend, with the cross races and everything.”

”And the kid will be there, too?”

It almost sounds like Cal is relieved.

”Yeah, I guess,” Dani mumbles reluctantly. If there’s one thing he doesn’t need, it’s spending a weekend in close quarters with Marc. Because for all that he’s tried, he hasn’t forgotten Marc or their night together. Not a single detail has vanished from his memory. It only seems to get worse, the flashbacks more and more intense. 

And Dani has tried hard, every weekend. Visiting _the club_ , again and again, picking up guys. Guys that somehow always end up resembling Marc, similar height, hair color, body features. That he takes to the restroom all too willingly, backing them against the walls of bathroom stalls. They never smell right though and it bothers him to no avail. And they’re not as smooth as Marc. Don’t have that same, broad smile that makes Dani’s stomach flutter.

But in contrast to Marc, they’re available, willing and, at least Dani assumes from them being inside the club, old enough. And Dani plays pretend, every time, always hoping one of them will feel good enough to let him forget about Marc. Even while he fucks them, he still sees Marc, smells Marc, feels Marc against him and if he closes his eyes and just presses closer, he can at least pretend. If it wasn’t for the smell. Once, Dani slips and calls one of them by Marc’s name. It earns him a bruise and a bloody nose and many concerned looks from Cal, Vale and Jorge.

”So, you’re leaving on Thursday?” Dani wakes from his daydream and looks at Cal, needing a moment to process the words.

”Yeah, we are.”

”I’m sure it’ll be good. And Dani?”

”Hm?” He shoots Cal a questioning look.

”Maybe it’s just fate’s way of telling you to get your act together, face things and settle them?”

Dani just huffs at that and Cal, knowing when a cause is lost, changes the topic. Soon after, it’s time for Dani to ride home anyway. Though it wouldn’t really matter when he gets back, as he won’t find much sleep anyway and will end up feeling drained at work on Monday either way.

Before he falls asleep, splayed out on his sheets, he thinks of Marc. Again. _Like a teenager crushing on some TV star._ He wonders how the boy has done, hopes he’s won. Hopes his exams have gone well. Because Dani has heard a lot about these exams lately and because he cares. Even if he doesn’t want to and probably shouldn’t, he still cares so much. Eventually, when sleep simply won’t come for too long, he steps out on the balcony, eyes gazing over the sleepy village that’s lying in the dark. Somewhere out there, Marc is going to sleep. In his parents’ house. Possibly a single bed. Maybe after kissing his mother goodnight. And probably with a new trophy by his side, Dani doesn’t really doubt that. And while Marc is huddled up in his little peaceful nest, Dani is standing on his balcony, cover around his shoulders, glass of whisky on the railing and cigarette in hand. Neck and back littered with scratches and bruises. He shakes his head in disbelief. With these differences, the completely unalike paths they’re following, how could he ever be _right_ for Marc? Leave alone good enough.

***

Marc see Pol talk to her, sees the way his eyes light up. _First time since Lisa that that’s happening._ He leaves with a smile on his lips, riding back by himself. He doesn’t want to stay, because suddenly he feels too heavy, too exhausted. He just wants a real long night and lots of sleep, because they’ll leave for the race on Thursday and it’s going to be a tough one, even if he’s just going to be there to do service. He wants to be prepared and ready, still, because that’s what you do for your team. And because he wants Vale and Jorge to win more than anything else. And maybe, just maybe, behind all the fear and nerves, he is kind of looking forward to be close to Dani, too. Because even though he technically never had Dani, he still misses him like crazy.

***

”Did you hear that?” Roser props herself up in bed, frowning at the door.

”Mhm, that’s just Marc coming home.” A sleepy Julia tries to bury his head a bit deeper in the pillow, but she’s not having any of that now. Determinedly, she turns on her table lamp, waiting for her husband to blink his eyes open, looking at her blearily.

”Why is he back already? I thought he’d be gone for the night.”

”I don’t know, maybe because of the race next weekend? You know he’s a good boy. And coming home early is good, right?”

He’s right, she thinks, coming home early is usually something she’d approve of. Only… something about her eldest is worrying her these days. His eyes aren’t as bright as they used to. And he doesn’t seem to be as happy about his graduation, his grades, which even by her standards are excellent, or his race results. It’s not like him, she thinks. And neither is coming home from that graduation party early. After all, he’s the type for camping, bonfires and talking through the night. Maybe it’s something about that girl he’s started seeing? She’s not been around much lately. Roser never had the impression Marc was all that much in love with her, but maybe she misjudged? God, she’d really want for him to find a nice girl, really. As long as she’s not disrupting him with his career plans that is, of course.

”Something’s not right,” she says with a pout.

”Roser,” Julia sighs, his familiar _this is not leading anywhere_ -sigh, and reaches past her to turn off the light. “He’s grown up and he’s fighting his own battles. If he wants to talk about it, he will come to you and until then, just let him heal.”

”Why does he need to heal?” And what does Julia know that she is missing out on?

”Because he’s been looking like a lovesick puppy for a month now,” he mumbles sleepily, draping himself around her, “Sleep now. He’ll figure it out like we all did when we were his age.”

 _My baby has grown up._ She sniffles into his hair, realization of Marc being done with school overwhelming her, prospect of him leaving the nest still terrifying. It seems that his first day of school was only yesterday, him in his little suit with the little tie, proudly wearing the new backpack and holding up his gift bag in class. And now… she swallows down the lump in her throat, now he’ll be wearing a suit again, but he won’t be a little boy anymore. She’ll be watching a grown man, holding up a diploma equally proud as the first backpack all these years ago. And she knows that he’s grown up. Into a rather well-behaved, agreeable young man, too. _Still, whoever it was who hurt my baby, I’ll track you down, I will track find you._

 _He's got eyes of the bluest skies_  
_As if they thought of rain_  
_I'd hate to look into those eyes_  
_And see an ounce of pain_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> _Sweet Child o'Mine_ , Guns'n'Roses


	18. My Silver Lining

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Zooming in on Marc and Dani again, as promised...

**Friday night, Dani and Jorge**

Thursday and Friday pass in a blur of work and more work and a Thursday night of too much beer and too little sleep. Dani meets Marc’s friend Pol again, who looks at him as if he wants to kill him with his bare hands. Dani can’t blame him. And Pol’s brother, Aleix, is there, too, apparently having come back from university for this as third driver. Emilio and Santi are there, completing their little team and Dani enjoys being part of something, he really does. It's just difficult with Marc around sometimes, because it's hard to restrain himself when all he wants to do is reach out and hold the boy close.

It’s rainy and too cold for this time of the year, all of them shivering, swearing and soaking a lot more than they'd want to. The mud is making them all dread the race a bit more than usual, is going to make things harder and even more work than they’d expected and Friday is one of the busiest days Dani has had in a while, with four bikes to prepare and he almost forgets about evading Marc at times, the two of them occasionally even working together without consciously noticing. But every time they do realize that they’re close, one of them jumps, so at the end of the day, they’re obviously not ready to face each other as _just friends_ quite yet.

Eventually, the night falls down around them and he sits in the back of Jorge’s truck with the younger, next to a small camping lamp. They’re smoking in silence, when Jorge out of the blue, nudges Dani’s shoulder.

”So, you and Marc.”

The statement makes Dani’s blood freeze. Sure, he kind of figured Jorge and Valentino were on to something. But so far, he’s been lucky not to be called out. And now… well… maybe if he prays hard enough the ground will open and swallow him. 

”Me and Marc?” His voice trembles, betraying him and he knows he won’t get out this easily.

”What happened?”

”I- We-,” Dani rummages his brain, tries to come up with a somewhat casual version of everything. “We had dinner together. Nothing big.”

”Huh.” Jorge falls silent for a moment and Dani hopes, he’ll just go to sleep, but then it rustles and he knows Jorge has turned to face him, darkness or not and he feels Jorge’s gaze on his face, making him blush. “You’re a shit liar, you know.”

Dani gulps. _Not usually. But apparently you’re damned good at reading me._

”He stayed the night, okay? And I don’t really want to elaborate on _that_.”

Jorge hums and Dani prays the silence will last this time.

”So he stayed the night. And what went wrong the morning after? Because you two sure don’t look like it was _nothing big_.”

_Of course you won’t let go. I’ve corrupted everybody’s darling after all._ Dani cringes.

”He left after breakfast. Nothing more, nothing less. He didn’t ask for another date or anything after he’d had his fun and left.” Dani stops for a moment, taking a sharp breath and blinking against a few stray tears. “And well, I can hardly ask him for anything.”

”Seems you asked him for a date though?”

”Yeah. Biggest mistake of my life.” _And I assure you, that means something coming from me._

”Mhm.” Of course, Jorge would agree. “Maybe you should talk to him though,” the younger adds pensively.

”Where’s the point? It’s like he’s the beauty and I’m the beast, there’s no way I could ever be what he’s looking for.” Dani lights another cigarette, stares into the grey sky and shakes his head, “It’s no use talking about it, he’s made his decision.”

For a moment, Jorge is totally quiet. Then, he starts speaking in a decidedly controlled tone and Dani has the impression he’s biting his tongue not to snap completely and yell, something the older doesn’t understand at all.

”Are you aware, at all, how stupid that just sounded? I mean, I know you’re new. You can’t know him like we do. But then… you did fuck him from all we’ve observed so you could have at least made an effort to get to know him, right? Because that just sounded like you had no clue.”

And Dani expected they’d be angry at him for taking advantage, but he’d also thought Jorge would kind of understand and he doesn’t understand why it’s about him not knowing Marc. For a moment, he doesn’t know what to say at all, just gapes at Jorge who stares back at him. Eventually, he just mutters a quiet “What? and keeps his eyes on his own fingers, fidgeting with his lighter.

”Did you know Marc never really had a serious relationship before you?” Jorge asks after a moment.

”No… I didn’t.”

”See? And well, I probably shouldn’t tell you, but somehow I feel he hasn’t told you and I think you should know… so…” Jorge stammers and out of the corner of his eyes, Dani sees him fidget around with his cigarettes, too. “Marc is... well, was... you know… he hasn’t done that before…”

There’s a giant lump, forming rapidly in Dani’s throat and he blinks nervously. It’s not that he hasn’t expected this. Just… the confirmation still stings.

”So I’ve just been an experiment for him? A try whether he likes it with men, too?” He can’t quite keep the anger out of his voice.

”You’re really an idiot, you know that?” Jorge hisses, then grabs his face, forcing him to look the younger in the eye. “He’d never, ever, not in a lifetime, treat people like that. And how the hell should he be experimenting if he has nothing to compare it, too? And anyway, why would he wait seventeen years and then just do it with a random stranger? Don’t you think you must have meant or more likely mean _something_ for him? After he’s let you be the one? Really, Dani? Because I didn’t quite peg you for someone that oblivious to other’s feelings.”

It takes a while before his brain processes all the words and puts them together into something that makes sense. When it dawns upon him, what exactly Jorge just revealed about Marc, Dani is nauseous and on the verge of tears.

”Please tell me that’s not true,” Dani brings out, voice breaking and his eyes definitely watery already.

Instead of a reply, Jorge pulls him over and hugs him.

Dani thinks he leaves a couple of stray tears in Jorge’s hoodie. Which is, of course, utterly ridiculous. There’s nothing to cry about. Except, he still feels like sobbing. And he’s still not sure he’ll keep his dinner down. When Jorge eventually leans back, facing him with a raised eyebrow, Dani just wants the ground to swallow him.

”So, you’re saying I… took his… virginity,” he whispers, cheeks heating up immediately.

Jorge just nods and Dani repeats it in his head, tells himself again and again, trying to grasp the meaning.

”Like… completely. He’s never… not even with a girl?”

It’s Jorge’s turn to look down and evade his gaze.

”No, he hasn’t. Vale told me the other day. And I kind of suspected it, too. And I shouldn’t have told you, but... I don’t know, I just thought you should know that. So you’d stop telling yourself he doesn’t want you. Because he sure does. Everyone with functioning eyes can see it just from the way he’s looking at you. As if you’d hung the moon.”

”Sorry, but I just… I can’t believe I did that. I mean… I should never… No, I would never. If I’d known, I’d never.” It’s true. If Dani had known, he wouldn’t have slept with Marc. Never. Because he would have wanted Marc to have a perfect first time with someone worth sharing it with.

”See, that’s why he didn’t tell you then,” Jorge whispers.

”But why would he want me for that? Why, Jorge, I don’t get it.” He really doesn’t.

”Does it matter? Isn’t it enough that he wanted to share it with you? Does he really need any other reason than just wanting you?”

”But I’m too old. And a man. And an ex-convict. I come with tons of unnecessary baggage. And not a cent of money. Not even a proper education. What could I ever have to offer to some rich kid from a perfect family that’s going to excel at simply everything they start in life?”

”Okay,” Jorge takes a deep breath and Dani has the feeling this is going to be a longer text, “first of all, Marc is not ‘some rich kid’. His dad’s a teacher and his mom works part-time in a kindergarten. His dad gave up his own racing to finance his sons’ hobbies and they really sacrifice so much to make that possible for both of their boys. I don’t know what gave you the impression, to be honest. If it’s about the bike or the clothes, than let me tell you that it’s sponsors paying for that. And giving him free stuff. But rich? No way. And second, yeah, I assure you his parents would grill you about your past and I’m not sure they’d ever approve, but Marc? I’m damned sure he’d at least make an effort to understand. And he’s already proven to you that he wants you regardless of your age or gender.”

Jorge is looking at him expectantly and Dani doesn’t know what to say, it’s just all a bit much to understand with at once. He’s been so wrong about Marc. And about them. And he’s done everything wrong and now he doesn’t know if or how to fix it.

”What do I do now, Jorge?”

”For now? We go to bed and sleep. The next two days will be hell on earth and believe me, we’ll need the rest. And after that? I’d suggest you talk to him.”

Dani follows Jorge’s advice simply because there’s nothing else he could do now anyway, Marc probably safe asleep in Vale’s van and Jorge absolutely right about the upcoming monster task for all of them. Still, he doubts he’ll find any sleep with the whirlwind of thoughts and emotions in his head right now that he cannot seem to sort out one bit.

When they’re just climbing up into the bed, Jorge hands him a little bottle and when he studies it in the light of his phone, he reads that it’s a shot of some liquor.

”Drink. It’s going to make you drowsy. You really need the sleep.”

Dani knocks it back without hesitation, coughing slightly from the burn it leaves in his troat.

”Thank you,” he mumbles. _Not for the drink… more for what you told me._ But he thinks he doesn’t have to say that last part out loud, he’s pretty sure Jorge knows exactly what he means.

**Friday night, Vale and Marc**

They are just walking back to Vale’s van, ready to pass out from exhaustion, when he sees them, in the back of Jorge’s van, hugging each other. He wants to look away, but he freezes mid-movement and just stares, unable to take his eyes off of them.

”Bambino?” Vale stops behind him and eventually, the older seems to have spotted what he’s looking at as he puts an arm around his shoulder and asks, “Jealous much?”

”No,” Marc hisses and wishes he was a better actor.

”Don’t worry, that is not Jorge’s way to hug a boyfriend. That one’s just a friendly embrace,” Vale giggles and pulls him along, almost shoving him into the van and the bed. Marc cannot help hoping that Vale is right about that embrace thing though.

Marc still refuses to respond and just turns off the light, hoping Vale will leave him alone.

”So you and Dani?”

_Of course it wouldn’t be that easy. Great. I thought we ended this discussion after my first race already._

”Still nothing to tell you.”

”Did he hurt you?”

_You won’t give up, will you?_

”No. Not on purpose.”

Marc turns on his side, facing away from Vale, hoping the other will get the clue.

”You didn’t tell him, huh?”

_Stop talking about it. Just stop. Please. It’s nothing I want to talk about now._

”I- It’s none of your business. But no. I didn’t. Happy now?”

”Oh, bambino.”

”And stop calling me bambino. I’m not that little anymore.”

”I’ll never stop calling you bambino, bambino. And you need to talk to Dani. I don’t know what you guys did, but something is messed up and I’m sick of seeing both of you with these eyes of a kicked puppy.”

”We don’t-“ _Wait. Why does Dani have eyes like a kicked puppy? You’re not seriously suggesting…_

”If Dani would want to talk to me, why isn’t he doing just that,” Marc adds, heart suddenly racing.

”I’m sure he would want to. But I don’t think he’s told you anything about where he comes from?”

”No, why?”

”You should ask him, Marc.”

”Vale, what are you not telling me?” He knows he's asking too demandingly, too loudly, but this is important.

”Bambino, I shouldn’t be telling-“

Marc covers Vale’s mouth and interrupts him, “I don’t care what you should or shouldn’t tell me. I want to know, Vale. Now.”

”He’s had a terrible childhood, he’s been in prison and he’s probably convinced that you’re too good for him.”

He should be taken aback by the revelation, right? Somehow, he’s not though.

”Too good for me? I can’t believe he’d be such an idiot,” Marc mumbles. In the darkness, he feels Vale’s hand on his shoulder, patting him comfortingly.

”I’m sure you’ll figure it out. Now, sleep, then race and after that, you guys will talk.”

”I don’t think Dani wants to talk to me.”

”I doubt you or him get a say in that. If I have to, I'll just make you,” Vale says nonchalantly.

Marc is well aware that Vale will do just that if he has to. Maybe, he's even kind of hoping for Vale to intervene. Because damned, despite of what Vale just told him, he still _wants_ Dani. Really badly. And he finds it increasingly difficult to stay away from the smaller now that they see each other all the time, often close enought for DanI's scent to reach Marc's nose, causing all kinds of flashbacks.

Marc falls asleep short after, images of Dani and their night together in his head. For the first time in weeks actually, he is feeling sort of calm, the realization of Dani possibly still wanting him spreading through his entire body, making him feel all warm and fuzzy.

Saturday starts out incredibly busy, effectively keeping him from having a single word with Dani beyond good morning. He steals glances at the older throughout the day and a few times, has the feeling the other is doing the same. Finally, when the race has been going on for a couple of hours and they're having a snack with Pol and Aleix, they have some kind of a wordless conversation over their plates. It ends with both of them nodding and then walking around the vans, finding a quiet spot behind Jorge's vehicle. They sit down next to each other, distinct gap between them and Marc's pulse starts racing immediately. In the distance, he hears the roaring of the bikes and he huddles up in his hoodie, the air still too cold and some last drizzle coming down on them. Of course, he shivers only because of the cold and not at all because of Dani being so close to him.

And this isn't the right moment. It's not even a good moment. But Marc has to know, really has to. Because if he doesn't find out, he thinks his heart is going to burst.

"Dani," he starts hesitantly, determinedly staring into the distance.

"Hm?" Even the single syllable makes Marc shudder with the need to throw himself at the other.

"Dani, we need to talk."

_I don't want to wait anymore I'm tired of looking for answers_  
_Take me some place where there's music and there's laughter_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> _My silver lining_ , First Aid Kit


	19. Parler Tout Bas

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Still sorry about the typo-mess here. I'm apparently very much too tired all the time to properly fix these before I post.  
> AND: Thanks for reading and commenting and kudos and everything!! ♥ It means so much ♥
> 
> ...this one's a bit shorter than usual, but I thought it was the perfect moment for a little cliffhanger...

Dani swallows and tries to reply, he really does. It’s only that no words will come out of his mouth and maybe he just forgot how to speak? Marc is so close, close enough for him to smell that familiar scent of aftershave and deodorant and motor oil. Close enough to touch, Dani would only have to… And he fails massively at self-restraint, his hand against Marc’s cheek, a finger tracing the younger’s temple and he just loses himself in Marc’s eyes.

”Dani?” Marc asks softly, almost pleadingly, a hand around Dani’s wrist now, stopping his movement.

”Sorry, I just-,” Dani feels himself blush, embarrassed about his lack of coherence and control here and actually, he feels all weak in the knees now. “Sorry, I shouldn’t have presumed – It’s just, I – I missed you so much.”

It’s nothing but the truth, he has missed Marc like crazy. But the way he’s falling apart here, helplessly stammering around, it’s also very humiliating and inappropriate.

”Not presuming at all,” Marc whispers and Dani sees the boy bite his lips again and he just wants to lick them, “Not presuming. Just… I think I have to talk to you first. I want to know… what this is about. For you.”

Dani is about to reply, when Santi appears in front of them, out of breath and flushed.

”Guys, here you are. I’ve been looking for you all over the place. Jorge has a problem with his bike and is coming in any minute now. Aleix is going out and Dani, I think you need to fix that bike.”

Santi pulls him along by his elbow and Dani can’t do more than follow hastily.

”Later, okay? I promise,” he says over his shoulder and Marc nods, tentative and adorably shy smile around his lips that makes Dani’s heart melt.

”Later,” Marc says. He follows them at a slightly slower pace and then, Dani feels Marc’s eyes on his back while he is working on Jorge’s bike. All the time. Like the boy’s gaze is burning through the fabric of his clothes.

***

He watches Dani work on Jorge’s bike and totally loses himself in the image. It’s not the first time he sees Dani work, but he’s never seen it for so long, never with so much time to study the other’s every move as his own turn isn’t coming up until later. Emilio provides them with water, but somehow seems to sense that he doesn’t want to talk and lets him sit there, still watching Dani’s every move. Pol and Santi are at the track, watching out for Aleix and Vale is probably trying to get some sleep since he’s planning to do most of the night’s turns. Jorge is still around though, assisting Dani with the repairs and it bothers Marc, reasonable or not. It's simly making his blood boil.

”Why don’t you get some rest? I can help Dani out with that.”

Jorge shoots him a confused glance.

”You’re going out next, shouldn’t you be resting?”

”I can’t rest now anyway because I’m too nervous. And since Vale won’t let me do real night turns, I can sleep then. You should go.”

”If that’s what you think.” Jorge shrugs and hands him his tools. “Later, boys.”

He watches Jorge walk away and kneels down next to Dani.

”Is it later now?” he asks, only half joking.

”Okay… please don’t get this wrong, please. I want to talk to you and we have to talk and God, I really mean it, I missed you so much. Ridiculously much.” Marc’s heart could explode just from the words he’s hearing out of Dani’s mouth. “But Marc,” _Of course. There’s always a but._ “I think we should wait until after your turn or maybe even after the race. You should almost be in tunnel vision now, right?”

_Fuck. You’re right. And I don’t like that you are. Let's just be stupid for a day?_

”Okay,” he says hesitantly, accepting the sense in Dani's suggestion and trying not to let the disappointment show too much, wanting to focus on the positive, which is Dani saying he’d missed him. Twice already.

”I’ve been an idiot, okay?” Dani says, eyes on the bike, skillful fingers reassembling parts by autopilot and Marc is mesmerized. Dani isn’t just a good mechanic. He’s perfect. He is – except from Vale – the only person Marc knows who looks at a bike like this and who touches a bike like this. _Lovingly. Only words that describes it. Lovingly._

”Me too,” he says absentmindedly, focusing on Dani’s movements again, still too mesmerized to take his eyes away. And he ends up watching the other silently until the bike is fixed and Dani more or less forces him to go and get ready, Aleix expected to come back in soon.

***

Santi helps him put Aleix’s bike back in good condition, lending a very helping hand and some advise to stay alive through this. Everything, the constant cold and rain and drizzle, the exhaustion, lack of sleep and food and drink, it’s starting to take its toll on Dani already. _It’s not even halftime. And how can they all be working so well still? They don’t even look tired?_ He’d love to go and watch Marc ride, but first, he feels hopelessly nervous as it is already and second, he does need a bit of a rest. So when they’re done and Santi suggest that he looks awful and should go and take a nap, he follows too willingly. 

”Did you talk to Marc?” A sleepy Jorge is mumbling when Dani falls onto the bed.

”Not yet. Not quite. Sorry I woke you.”

”Can’t really sleep between turns anyway. God, that boy is jealous.” Jorge giggles into the sleeping bag and Dani feels his heart jump a little.

So he isn’t the only one who thought Marc had been behaving a bit jealous earlier.

”He sure didn’t want you around.” 

”Nope, he really didn't like that. And by the way, I doubt he’d want you in bed with me. We really need different sleeping arrangements.” Jorge yawns and giggles again.

Dani doesn’t find sleep either, especially not now where he’s wondering what exactly he’s getting himself into and what talking to Marc means exactly. Are they heading for something here? Is there any realistic way they could be heading towards anything serious? As Jorge put it so nicely, Marc’s parents probably would never approve. Dani’s own have no idea that he likes guys as much as girls. And that’s not even considering his past or Marc’s age. He sighs and tosses and turns in the van's bed.

”You know, I think I’ll wake Vale for his turn and then stay in his van… there’s no way anyone can sleep next to you right now. I can literally hear you think,” Jorge says eventually, but he doesn’t sound angry, only amused. Dani apologizes, but Jorge just slaps his head slightly.

”I’ll send Marc over to sleep here. _Sleep_ sleep, okay? And don’t mess this up again,” Jorge says, way too cheerily for the situation and Dani instinctively buries his head in his pillow.

_Too bad I’m really good at messing things up. It’s my special talent._

***

Marc has had more difficult races on much more demanding tracks, but this one is still one of the top ten, he thinks. Mostly because of the length, but also because of the conditions. Sight is a nightmare, the track is either mud or puddles and two hours is a long time to sit on a bike with full focus. When he’s back in the paddock, Vale having taken over for the first turn in complete darkness, he thinks he could faceplant first into the van. It’s Pol who catches him by the wrist, pulling him away from Vale’s place.

”Uh, sorry, but Vale said Jorge is sleeping in his van. He said you could go sleep in Jorge’s. Apparently, Dani’s there. And uh… when you’re done whatever you’ll do with Dani now,” He sees Pol blush and wonders how much stamina Pol thinks he has, when his friend considers _that_ a possible scenario ,”you two could help out here during Aleix’s next turn? I think by then Emilio and I are ready for a break.”

”Don’t worry, we’ll be there. I just need a quick nap, maybe an hour, then we’ll both be around and you guys can go sleep for a bit.” He leaves it at that, neither time nor place right to elaborate on anything, regardless of the curious glances Pol throws him.

Under other circumstances, he thinks, knowing that Dani is waiting for him in his bed would be the best news possible. Right now, he’s simply too tired to grasp it.

He wriggles out of his clothes and leaves them in the back, climbing into what he thinks is Jorge’s sleeping bag without hesitation. They’ve all been through enough camping in confined spaces to not worry about such details as whose sleeping bag or toothbrush something is. For a moment, he lies completely still, listening to Dani’s breathing next to him. It’s not steady enough for someone who’s sleeping, Marc thinks. 

Still, he doesn’t really dare to move or say anything. And wouldn’t know what to say. It’s just… so complicated, so far over his head. And this is such a wrong moment. But lying here, knowing Dani is only an inch away, feeling Dani’s body heat next to him… it’s like torture. Eventually, he tentatively reaches down, hoping Dani doesn’t have his arms inside his sleeping bag either. And he’s lucky, finds the older man’s hand and then just laces their fingers.

It’s taking him a lot of courage on one hand, but on the other, he’s too tired to really worry about Dani’s reaction.

”Did you tell Jorge about us,” he asks eventually. Not that he’d mind, but he’s curious, because the change in sleeping arrangements seems to mean Jorge is aware, too.

”No. He figured it out by himself. Apparently, we’re not exactly subtle when we look at each other.”

Marc thinks he’s blushing, but that doesn’t matter in the darkness anyway. It’s strangely nice, comforting even, he thinks, lying here in the safety of invisibility, whispering with Dani.

”Vale told me, you know?”

”Told you what?”

”That you’ve been in jail.”

”Sorry, I should have told you.” Marc feels Dani’s fingers tense in his hold and he starts rubbing his thumb over the older man’s wrist comfortingly.

”It’s okay. There’s something I should have told you, too.”

”Jorge told me.”

”Jorge?” Marc gulps, because really, how did Jorge even know?

”If you mean your… virginity,” _If this wasn’t about me and my lack of sex life, I’d think the way you stuttered that was totally adorable_ ,”yeah, Jorge told me. Or pointed me towards it. I really should have noticed, I guess. I don’t know. It didn’t seem like it. Or not much.”

_I guess that means I did okay? I did okay, right?_

”I didn’t want you to know. Don’t worry about it.”

”But don’t you think you should have had your first time with someone special?”

For one more time this night, Marc decides to go all in, to gather all his courage. He ignores his rapidly beating heart and the sound of his own blood rushing in his head, tightens his grip on Dani’s hand and forces his voice to stay somewhat firm.

”I did. I had my first time with someone special.”

He never gets a reply, because the second he hears Dani inhale, seemingly going to answer, there’s a loud banging at the door of the van.

”Guys? Vale’s injured. We need both of you out here now.”

_Parler tout bas_  
_Trouver les mots qu'il faut_  
_Parler de tout, parler de moi_  
_Pour trouver le repos_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> _Parler Tout Bas_ , Alizée


	20. Raconte-Moi

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Tell me... So they're talking, finally :) Good boys ;)
> 
> By the way, the race itself _is_ real. There is a 24 hour enduro race held here every year. I have no clue if there's more elsewhere, here it's only that one. I've done it a few times and it's totally awesome (and a little crazy...) :)

While they’re getting dressed in haste, Santi’s voice fills them in on the details. His thoughts have gone from hopelessly romantic – or plain sappy – to race mode and the only sign of their previous intimacy is the quick squeeze Dani gives his shoulder before they head outside and a whispered “Later, I promise” that makes both of them giggle. Because really, Marc thinks, it’s a bit like in a sitcom, the way they try to have that conversation and keep being interrupted. _Like a bad sitcom actually._

”So dislocated shoulder you think?”

Santi nods, brows furrowed.

”Will he make it back to the pits?” Marc watches Dani and Santi talk business, following a few steps behind and definitely not looking at Dani’s ass. For him, the answer to the question is clear. Because it’s Vale. And Vale does things that only Vale can do.

”Sure. Might cost us one or two positions, but I think it’s nothing the others can’t catch up on. Only question is how well they’ll deal with the additional stints.”

Marc huffs at Santi’s slight doubt in their capacities but never finds the time to say something about it as they reach the others, Aleix just heading off and Jorge and Emilio holding up a visibly exhausted, very pale Vale. He's actually grimacing from the pain. And yes, Marc thinks, Vale really wouldn’t be Vale if he hadn’t made it. And while Santi takes over the track watching for now, allowing Pol and Emilio some rest and Dani time to prepare everything for Marc’s next sting, Jorge will take Vale to first aid. But of course, it wouldn’t be Vale if he didn’t take the time to bend down to Marc and whisper into his ear, voice surprisingly cheeky for the situation.

”So did you like the new sleeping arrangements?”

Marc boxes his good shoulder, softer than he’d usually have. And he watches them walk away together, Vale more hobbling than anything else. It actually feels like those two are back to their old selves. Which after months of the “big Casey war” as Pol and Marc call it, would really be something great to take home from this weekend.

***

When they’ve made it through the night, Marc riding safely through dawn, Dani can’t believe they’ve ever gotten this far. But then it seems he’s reached a point beyond exhaustion, where he can access power reserves he didn’t even know he had. He’s shivering constantly in another rather damp hoodie, the weather still a nightmare and he’s having coffee that’s made to wake the death. Next to him, Emilio is looking over the area, eyes spotting dark circles and face looking ten years older than last night. 

In the van behind them, a knocked out champion is taking a nap after the painkillers wiped him out instantly. Dani still thinks it’s slightly surreal that you’d just go, get your shoulder repositioned and then come back here to sleep and watch your team win as the older had put it before faceplanting into the mattress. Apparently, hospital and x-rays could wait until Monday. It’s a strange world he’s ended up in, but that doesn’t mean it’s not beautiful.

It’s a nice atmosphere of family gathering, even between opposing teams. Tools are shared, food is offered, drinks are swapped. Everybody has that same look of absolute sleepiness on their faces and is caught in that weird state between dozing and absolute focus. On top of it all, Jorge and Aleix had gotten them back into first place and Marc is doing a good job at keeping it. And with hopefully only three turns to go, the end is approaching and Dani finally sees land on the horizon.

***

Marc refuses to do the last stint, plain out takes off without allowing Jorge to get a word in. It’s been mostly Jorge’s skills that got them back in the lead and Marc would rather cut his hand off than not see Jorge cross that line for them. And when he comes back from his last turn at noon, sending off the older with a nudge against his shoulder, he’s not surprised that Vale is back among the living, too, standing at the side and actually cheering for the same Jorge that seemed like his enemy a couple of months ago. _You two are definitely back._

They clear away most of their stuff already, determined to be leaving right after the ceremony, because first, everybody wants to go home under a hot shower after this ordeal anyway and second, Vale really needs to get home to Linda, who’s out of her mind with worry, calling Jorge’s and Emilio’s numbers almost all the time.

It’s a shame how quickly all the adrenaline wears off, he thinks, the trophies received rather unceremoniously as this year, after all the rain and cold, most teams seem to want nothing more than get home. He’s just heading for Vale’s van, when Dani appears next to him, holding up the keys for Jorge’s. 

”Want a ride?” _If you keep smiling at me like that, we’re not going anywhere._

It’s absolutely amazing how even in his current state, where he wants nothing but sleep and shower, in that order, Dani makes the butterflies in his stomach flutter again. 

”Uh, I guess?” It seems Dani makes him incoherent though. Which in turn makes him blush. _Dammit._ Marc cringes and he remembers their conversation from the night which in the bright light of day makes him cringe even more, because what the hell was he thinking? _I had my first time with someone special. How much more cliché could that have been? Though at the time… it seemed like the perfect thing to say to you._

”Jorge is driving Vale home,” Dani explains and for an instant, it looks like he’s nervous about this, which is strangely comforting, “so I’ll drive his car home and I guess you’re my passenger. Okay?”

Instead of a reply, Marc climbs into the passenger seat and just motions for Dani to get in, too.

And while Dani pulls out and heads for the road, carefully following the long line of vans, caravans and trucks that are doing the same, Marc can’t help but sag into the seat and sigh with relief.

”Finally.”

Dani giggles next to him.

”Finally what?”

Marc feels himself blush again, afraid he’s giving away too much, appearing too eager.

”Nothing. Just… I don’t know… maybe talk, finally?” He swallows against a lump in his throat and stares out of the window, avoiding Dani’s gaze.

”Right. Sorry, I was just teasing,” Dani’s hand rests on his knee and Marc swears it’s a thousand degrees hot, the way it’s burning through his jeans. “And I’m nervous.”

The revelation makes Marc’s heart jump once more, his head jerking around.

”Why would you?” He stammers, eyeing Dani’s profile, realizing the older _does_ look a bit agitated.

”I- What you said earlier-“

”God, I’m sorry… that was too sappy, I know. I think I was just tired. It’s just… I didn’t know what to say and you sounded so sorry and you had no reason so…” He’s rambling and he knows it, but it seems he can’t stop and his cheeks heat up more and more, while he's digging his hole deeper and deeper.

***

”I liked what you said,” Dani whispers when he finally gets the chance to. He really did. Still does. Still hopes Marc really meant it. Because then it would mean that he means something to Marc, too and that’s more than Dani dared to hope.

”You- what?”

”I liked that. Because… I think you’re pretty special.”

”O-kay. I mean… I don’t know… have we both just been idiots about that?”

”I think I’ve been an idiot. You’re just young.”

”Huh. Don’t know if that makes it any better.”

”So… just hypothetically… if I’d ask you for a second date, you’d say yes?”

”Hypothetically? Yeah, I would.”

”Good to know.”

”Uh-huh.”

”Seriously though… I’d love to repeat that, but we should try for slower, right?”

”Sorry, but I suck at slow.” And Dani’s head turns that into “suck it slow”, which results in a coughing fit that almost makes him drive the van against a tree.

_You’re doing things to me. Strange things. Awkward things. And one of the most amazing things about you is how you don’t even notice. Like you never seem to notice the way people look at you, all the awe and affection. You just… kind of stumble through it in tunnel vision?_

”Are you okay?” _Of course… you’re too innocent to notice._

”Sure,” Dani brings out, eyes watering.

He drives them in silence for a little, only sounds coming from the radio, considering his next moves. And what’s appropriate and what’s not. Also, he wonders if there’s really any, just the tiniest, littlest spark of hope that any of the things he very secretly wishes for could come true. Things like waking up together every day, or most days, going out for dinner together instead of hiding in his apartment, maybe hang out together? _Would you ever even admit publicly that you like guys?_ Jorge would scold him for even thinking that and he’s probably not giving Marc half the credit the boy deserves. Because he sure hasn’t been fazed by Vale and Jorge knowing at all. But sometimes, Dani isn’t sure if Marc is aware what he might be getting himself into. Or if he’s just very young and very naïve and will later, when he realizes how difficult and impossible this is or they are just run away. Only… if he’s honest… Marc is not the type to run away from a problem. That’s more Dani himself.

***

If it was up to him, the drive back home could be ten hours instead of four. He doesn’t want this to end, because talking to Dani is nice. Better than nice. And he is starting to like those butterflies in his stomach, feels giddy even. It’s the things Dani seems to be doing to him, all the time. As if all the nonsense from cheap love stories was true all over sudden. 

”So… about that hypothetical date,” he asks eventually, his mouth going a bit dry and his palms sweaty.

”Mhm?” Dani takes his eyes off the road and gives him a look between questioning and nervous. Marc knows that it’s probably up to him to suggest something here, because he’s the one with parents and a curfew after all. It’s just difficult, because he has no idea what he’s doing here, no clue how this is supposed to work. And still no plan where they’re heading and if they could be heading anywhere. Strange how _this_ is somehow what he’s been wanting for years, someone he likes and finds hot and wants to be all over all the time and whom he feels so comfortable talking to, but now that he’s found that person, it’s completely different from what he expected.

”I- If you’d want to, I could call my parents and tell them I’m going to stay at Pol’s for a night… and maybe we can order pizza, watch a movie?” He hopes that not something they only do in movies. Hopes it qualifies as a date. Prays Dani won’t be too taken aback by the fact that he still has to ask for parental permission. With every second it takes the older to reply, Marc can feel his heart beat faster, his nails dig into the denim of his jeans a bit harder and his body freeze a bit more, until he’s close to shuddering.

”Sounds good,” Dani says eventually. It sounds like he actually means it and Marc barely holds back a sigh of relief. “So I’ll take you right home with me?”

”If you want to… I wouldn’t say no.” _As in I’d love to come with you and never leave your apartment again ever._ Marc blushes, realizes they were going for slow and _knows_ he doesn’t want slow. Hell, he hates slow. It takes some self-restraint to keep his hands to himself, because if it was up to him, he’d be touching Dani all the time. But he assumes it’s safer not to. Not yet.

”Yeah, okay. Then we have a plan I think.”

 _We do, right? God. We have a plan. And I get a second chance. Wow._ Marc types a message to his parents and then doesn’t even wait for the response, just drops his phone into his backpack and huddles up in his seat. He’s dozing off in record time, the knowledge that he gets to be Dani for the night all that he needs for his peace of mind. Just before he’s totally out of it, he feels or dreams – he’s not sure – the touch of fingertips against his cheek. _Want to touch you, too._

***

Watching Marc sleep is beyond beautiful, the way he’s leaning there with his slightly parted lips, the flushed cheeks and the ruffled hair. Dani wants to run his fingers through that hair, wants to kiss that pout off Marc’s face. It takes some effort to stay mostly focused on the road and he can’t help stealing the occasional glance at the sight next to him.

There’s a whirlwind happening in his head though, one where he can’t figure out if he’s doing the best or worst thing in his life here, still overwhelmed by the fact that someone like Marc could want to be with him in the first place. It’s difficult for him to imagine that he could deserve this. Or not mess this up. And the thoughts of an uncertain future make his heart clench uncomfortably. Still, he thinks, the prospect for the night is perfect and if he doesn’t want to ruin it before it started, he’ll have to push the consequences away.

Marc sleeps almost until he’s pulling into his driveway and Dani can’t blame him after all those hours on the bike. Though honestly, he’s not sure he’ll make it through a movie awake now, either. 

The next fact he learns about Marc is that watching him wake up is even more adorable than watching him sleep, with the way he’s blinking his eyes open and yawning, hands messing up his hair even more. 

”We’re back already,” the boy says, voice full of disbelief.

”Yeah, you got a good rest I think,” Dani can’t help grinning and then they’ve made it, he’s finally in his parking spot, engine off.

Marc is checking his phone now, before he turns to him, smiling triumphantly.

”I’m okay to stay. So, pizza?”

Dani laughs at the eagerness, but then he’s really hungry, too and they both hurry inside. Marc, being the local and all, calls for pizza and Dani lets him, enjoying the fun he’s apparently getting out of this. It’s cute how it’s something so special for Marc. 

_Talk about special… I still can’t believe you said that about me. I’ve never been special to anyone before._

They both decide against movies eventually, because they agree that they’ll end up sleeping through it and they end up on his couch with pizza on the coffee table, Marc sitting close enough to him for their shoulders and knees to touch. It’s nice and comforting and suddenly, the new apartment feels so much more like home. But every peaceful bubble in Dani’s life is designed to burst eventually.

”So… why have you been in jail?” Marc is leaning back a bit, turned towards him, looking at him expectantly.

Dani _knows_ he owes him the story, but that doesn’t mean this is easy. And he has never been this afraid in his life that someone will hear about his past and turn away from him.

”Okay,” he takes a deep breath, stares at his feet – because he can’t tell this when he’s looking at Marc. He tells Marc everything, more than he told Jorge even. From the party at the club, the lines of coke that were suddenly there, about the idea that they could just go and take one of the boats, have a little cruise. It had just been fun, a joke. Something you do when you’re too young, too bored and don’t really see a perspective in life other than try to get a job again and fail again. It had been so goddamned easy to take that boat and they only needed a couple of attempts to start it. But of course not one of them had a clue how to navigate. They took turns, they tried all kinds of things and getting speed was something they could do. Which meant they overlooked a much smaller boat that they collided with, injuring two innocent people. An elderly couple. The man never fully recovered, as far as Dani knows, he’s still in a wheelchair.

Dani feels tears on his cheeks by the time he reaches that point of the story. And he’s surprised when he feels Marc’s head drop to his shoulder, Marc’s hand taking his.

”Thanks for telling me.”

It’s the simplest, purest response Dani’s ever gotten to this. One that neither condemns him nor plays down what he did. 

”You’re not disgusted?”

Marc shakes his head against Dani’s shoulder and squeezes his hand.

”No. I don’t think the Dani then was quite the same Dani as the one I know. And I trust myself when it comes to how I see others. You’ve paid your debts and I guess it changed you. So, no, I’m not. It’s a part of your past.”

Marc shrugs and Dani wishes it was that easy, he really does. And maybe, just for tonight, it can be that easy, he thinks, as he wraps his arm around Marc and feels the other press up against his side.

”One day I’ll tell you of these years. Of what changed me. But not tonight, okay? I don’t want to spoil this completely. I’ve wanted you back here so badly.”

”Okay, don’t worry about it. I hope you’ll have more occasions to tell me.”

_So do I._

They sit in silence for a bit and he enjoys it, even just being quiet with Marc. It feels good to hold him, feel him, smell him. Like Dani has a place where he belongs again. 

Outside, it’s long gone dark and the room is lit by two smallish table lamps now. Maybe they should be going to bed – but that’s a whole different topic then. Speaking of which…

”And before me… or us… you’ve really never?”

***

Marc knows he’s blushing but as his head is against Dani’s shoulder, at least the older won’t see it.

”No. Never.”

”Why?”

_As if there was a simple answer to that._

”I don’t know. Didn’t meet the right person. Looked at girls but probably should have looked for a guy? And then I didn’t have much time, I guess? Until I was maybe fourteen or fifteen I was too distracted by bikes to even care.”

Dani is silent for a moment and it worries Marc until he feels Dani’s hand in his hair and shivers in the older man’s hold. There’s an absolutely inexplicable feeling of safety in Dani’s arms and Marc vows to never ever let this stop.

”How long have you been riding?” Dani asks after a while, voice soft and sounding genuinely interested.

”I got my first bike when I was three. So… kind of like forever? Honestly, I’ve grown up on that track, and since I’m four I’ve spent every weekend where it’s been open out there. From snow over pouring rain to heat waves, I’ve always been there. It’s because of Vale, you know? I always wanted to be like him and then, to be even better than him. So I worked and worked and worked. “

”Seems like you made it, right?”

”I hope so. We’ll see next year, when I’m really doing pro.”

”Are you nervous about moving up?”

It’s the one question he doesn’t really have an answer to, Marc thinks.

”Actually, I don’t really know. I mean… I’m excited and for the first time, I feel like it really counts. But nervous? I don’t really think so. It sounds arrogant, I guess, but I am sure that I can do it. That I _can_ ride on that level. I’ve proven it, you know? I’ve been on these tracks, I’ve done racing days with them.”

”Sounds pretty cool.” 

”It is. And you know,” Marc takes a deep breath, worries one last time, knows he’s seriously rushing this and then blurts it out anyway, “I could bring one of the best mechanics along, right?”

***

Dani can’t really think straight for a moment, the words, or rather their meaning, overwhelming him.

”Are you kidding?”

”No, not one bit. And I’m not asking because you’re hot. Which you totally are,” he can _hear_ Marc blush over that, “But I meant to ask you all weekend. You know what you’re doing and Vale would have other things to deal with this season with Luca and everything, so for the next Master’s race, why don’t you come along? And if we work as a team, I’d definitely take you along next year, too.”

Somehow, the thought of basically working for Marc is a bit too much too soon. On the other hand, knowing that Marc thinks so highly of his skills is more than a little flattering. And in the end, any reason to be close to Marc seems a good reason right now.

”We can try, yeah. If Vale is okay with it.” And Dani doesn’t really doubt it.

”So, deal?” Marc disentangles from him, takes his shoulders and looks at him, sudden seriousness surprising Dani.

”Deal,” he says, nodding.

His answer gets him a chaste kiss. Nothing more than a quick peck, one that definitely leaves Dani craving more. And then there’s also a beautifully blushed Marc staring at him with that shy smile around his lips.

”Sorry, I know we were going slow,” the other whispers but Dani sees the way he’s wetting his lips and he’s not buying the innocent acting at all. He was going to suggest champagne and celebration of the race and their newfound deal, but this, this is too much.

”Really? Because I’m not sorry,” he whispers back, leaning right against Marc’s ear. Then, he kisses a line along Marc’s jaw until their lips are locked. If the ways Marc moans or the way his fingers dig into Dani’s shoulders are anything to go by, the younger doesn’t mind it one bit. Not the kisses, not the way he parts his lips, licks into Marc’s mouth, chases the taste of coke and pizza and Marc. _What was I thinking suggesting slow to you of all people? As if that ever had a chance to work._

 _Et puis raconte encore_  
_Raconte une autre histoire_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> _Raconte-Moi_ , Patrick Bruel


	21. Crazy in Love

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry updates keep taking so long... have a chapter of porn as apology? ♥

He leans back eventually, breaking their kiss. His gaze meets Marc’s, the younger man’s eyes midnight black, lips slightly parted, unruly streaks of black hair sticking up in all directions.

_So beautiful._

It’s too much, Dani thinks, his heart jumping and his stomach twisting. And Marc is more than he deserves, but there’s no way he can hold back. Not now. Or, as long as Marc is looking at him like this, not ever. Everything about the look the younger gives him, the intense stare, the way his tongue trace his lips, it says and screams ‘challenge’, says 'I dare you', says that Dani will be the one who has to show initiative here.

With an almost trembling hand, he reaches for Marc’s chin, thumb slowly hovering over the slightly stubbly jawline, moving towards the sensitive skin under the boy’s ear. Marc gasps softly and leans into his touch when he caresses it and Dani smiles before leaning in, kissing the other’s ear, tongue poking out slightly and making Marc squirm.

”Are you sure?” He whispers into Marc’s hair, hands on Marc’s knees now and Dani doesn’t even know if he could physically stop if the other said no.

Instead of a reply, Marc’s fingers reach for his hand, shoving it up along the denim of Marc’s jeans until it’s pressed right against an undeniable bulge.

_You sure don’t lack confidence._

Dani gulps, feeling a painful throbbing between his own legs. When he tries to pull his hand back, Marc’s grip just tightens.

”I am sure, are you?” It's a low growl, sounding almost threatening.

_For someone who is a rookie, you’re damned good at playing this game._

Dani feels a blush creeping up his neck and trails Marc’s jaw with a line of kisses until he pulls back again, meeting Marc’s eyes. He knows, just like last time, that he’s crossing a line. One he shouldn’t have crossed in the first place. But this is Marc, still. And he’s beautiful, way too beautiful for Dani. The way he’s leaning there, looking at him, expectantly raised eyebrow, slight smirk, it’s irresistible. There is just no way Dani is stopping this now, no way he could and he gives in to the temptation with a small sigh, surrenders to what’s apparently going to be the end of him.

_Two dark brown puppy dog eyes and a body like a Greek statue. Who would have known my biggest downfall would look like this?_

Dani inhales sharply, determinedly pushing away all the flashing warnings in his head before he starts speaking.

”Bedroom?”

The word comes out rather broken and Dani doesn’t miss the smug look on Marc’s face.

At the first sign of nodding on Marc’s face, Dani gets up and pulls him along by the wrist, only stopping them once they’ve reached the foot of his bed – once again. Only this time…

”From here on, we’ll go slow,” Dani says, voice hoarse, eyes locked with Marc’s intently, “And if you don’t know how to do that, let me show you.”

The way Marc’s eyes widen lets Dani smile, almost triumphantly.

_I think I’m back in the game._

He sheds his own shirt carelessly, jeans and socks following and he feels himself blush slightly because he feels Marc’s eyes on his body, sizing him up. Not that he has to feel self-conscious and normally he doesn’t – but with Marc and all his perfection, Dani can’t help but feel a bit out of his depth, smaller than his usual self. Literally, in a way. Still feeling his skin burn under Marc’s eyes, he moves around the room, changing from too bright ceiling lamp light too small table lamp only.

When he’s back in front of Marc, who’s been waiting and watching in silence, for the first time tonight surrounded by an air of nervousness, Dani locks their lips for a deep kiss. There’s certainly no lack of passion between with the way they’re devouring each other and Dani has to remind himself that he was going to do this slow. Slower than last time.

His hands move under Marc’s shirt, exploring all that glorious skin, shoving the fabric up and above Marc’s head. With his fingers hooked in Marc’s belt, he litters Marc’s upper body with kisses, pulling him towards the bed. Dani tries to sit down as gracefully as possible, his mouth wandering down Marc’s six pack. When his tongue digs into his navel, Marc’s hands yank his hair and he hears a sharp gasp.

_Just wait and see… just wait and see._

***

Dani’s mouth is moving further and Marc has a vague idea where this might be going. The mere thought is almost making his knees give in and he needs the grip on Dani’s hair in order to stay upright now.

He shivers and shudders under all the ministrations, Dani’s mouth sucking a bruise right over his hip bone and his fingers skillfully opening the belt and jeans, sliding both lower inch by inch, Dani’s mouth following, one kiss at a time.

Inside Marc’s veins, his blood starts burning and he’s trembling with pleasure and anticipation. There’s not one bit of coherent thinking left in his brain, all of his mind pre-occupied with wanting, needing, craving. A pathetic little whimper falls from his mouth when Dani’s tongue moves down the final inch, stubbly chin rubbing over Marc’s cock through the cotton of his boxer briefs already.

Dani smirks up at him through entirely too long lashes, then bows down again, thumbs behind the elastic waist band and mouth hovering over the wet spot in front of the tent in Marc’s underwear.

It makes Marc whine with need, brings him close to begging. His breathing is short and shallow and he steadies himself on Dani’s shoulders.

”More,” he brings out, too far gone already to be ashamed of his neediness.

”Slow, remember?” Dani’s voice sounds vicious and he teases mercilessly, cheek rubbing over Marc’s bulge but hands not moving his boxer at all.

”Dani, please.” And that’s it, apparently, he’s plain out begging.

At least, it gets him what he wants. Needs. Craves. Dani’s hands free him from the last piece of clothing he’s wearing he’s thrusting towards the older involuntarily already. It makes Dani chuckle and Marc would blush if there was any blood left in his head.

***

”Beautiful,” he mumbles and he means it, eyes on Marc’s cock, ready to show the other just how good this can be.

When his tongue licks along Marc’s length, the boy’s nails start clawing to his shoulders. But Dani thinks it’s worth the blood loss, the way he’s reducing the other to a needy little mess. He loves those little whines and whimpers and when his mouth closes around Marc’s tip, that’s one loud growl he hears above his head.

Dani has never been particularly fond of giving blowjobs, even less so after certain experiences in his recent past, but Marc is Marc and with Marc, everything is a bit different than before. For example, Marc tastes good. He really does. And he’s responsive and loud and Dani likes both, likes to know that he’s obviously doing this well. His grip on Marc’s hips tightens, stopping the other from thrusting further.

Not that he’s afraid to gag, but Dani wants this to last, wants to make it something to remember. Because at the bottom of his soul, he still cannot believe that anything this wonderful is ever going to last, so he wants Marc to at least remember something about him, about them, forever.

So he moves slow and stops Marc from rushing, teasing for a while, with his tongue circling just Marc’s tip. Above him, heavy breathing and increasingly desperate whines tell him that he’s doing this right. When he finally moves one of his hands, fingers ghosting along the sensitive skin on the inside of Marc’s thighs until he’s cupping his balls, Marc’s actually screaming his name and Dani, own cock achingly hard and leaking, thinks it’s been enough teasing.

He swallows Marc down whole, reveling in the way the boy slumps over him, arms trembling on Dani’s shoulders, breathing ragged. It doesn’t take much, only a bit of swallowing around him, letting him slide far down his throat, before Marc’s fingers clench even tighter in Dani’s shoulders and he’s coming in hot spurts, whole body arching towards Dani, convulsing in his hold.

Dani leans back, releasing Marc with a soft pop and eases the boy down with him, until they’re both splayed out on the mattress, breathing heavily.

He gives Marc time, thinks the younger probably has some impressions to digest and he rolls to his side, watching him come back to his senses. He looks gorgeous when he comes apart, Dani thinks, loving the ruffled hair and the way Marc’s skin glistens with a sheen of sweat. 

When after a while, Marc finally rolls over to face him, he has a look of surprise and disbelief on his face that makes Dani’s heart clench, the naivety and innocence still overwhelming.

”Wow, that was just…” Marc stops, looks a him, blushes completely and Dani just wants to do this to him over and over again, wants to see him like this all the time.

Instead, he leans forward, kissing Marc’s lips chastely, without urgency or need, just for the kissing itself.

”Sorry, I-“ Marc gives him that shy smile, the one that melts Dani’s heart and makes him think that he’s already fallen too far to ever get back out of this in one piece. “You haven’t… uh…” Marc’s stammering is just too adorable.

”It doesn’t matter,” Dani says, willing his voice to stay firm and trying to force his protesting, throbbing cock to be patient.

”No, I want to… well, not that, but I-“ Marc bites his lip again and that never fails to make Dani even harder. “Can I?”

Marc looks down between them and Dani thinks it’s too soon, but can’t help it anyway. With a small moan he fails to hold back, he falls to his back, his cock now standing up proud.

”Yeah, sure,” he says, voice almost breaking, pulling Marc’s head over for a brief kiss.

***

Marc pulls back, lies on his side and props his head up on an elbow, finally taking a moment to appreciate the sight next to him. 

”You look perfect,” he mumbles, eyes travelling up and down Dani’s toned torso, slightly evading the evidence of the other’s arousal, at least for now.

He reaches over, lets his fingertips ghost over Dani’s sides, feels Dani shudder under him and hears him suck in a sharp breath. So beautiful, he thinks, caught up in the way Dani’s eyes are half-closed, lips slightly parted, chest heaving. Following the older man’s example, he kisses a line along Dani’s collarbone, hot skin tasting salty and a bit like Dani’s soap. His fingers explore, first Dani’s nipples, earning a needy wail, then Dani’s firm stomach and finally, brushing over Dani’s cock.

He feels Dani buck up into his touch, arching up from the mattress. Marc hasn’t done this before, never thought about doing it. He knows he _wants_ to though, needs to. He wants to make Dani come, wants to see him fall apart and he wants to the one who can do that to the other. Hopefully, this will work the same way it does when he jerks himself off, he thinks and doesn’t really see why it wouldn’t. 

With the same tunnel vision he uses when he waits for a race to start, he pulls his hand up, licks his fingers until they’re wet and then reaches down again, wrapping his hand tightly around Dani.

The strangled sound from Dani’s throat, somewhere between growling and moaning, makes him stop in his tracks for a second, not sure if that is a good or a bad thing.

”God, more, please.”

_Well, no doubt what this means though._

He moves his hand slowly, tries to find a good rhythm by watching the reactions on Dani’s face. The way Dani is coming undone, guards falling down like a fortress under attack, is mesmerizing and Marc just stares, takes in the way Dani’s squeezing his eyes shut, grabbing fistfuls of sheets for hold, alternating between biting his lip and moaning beautifully. 

When he rubs his thumb over Dani’s tip, the smaller man’s body arches off the mattress again and in no time, Marc hears him release a sharp cry and feels hot liquid spread over his fingers. It takes him a moment to process what just happened, but when he does, Marc can’t stop a grin from spreading over his face.

_I guess that wasn’t too bad then._

”Actually, that was pretty awesome,” Dani mumbles next to him, still breathing heavily and shit, Marc thinks, he wasn’t going to say that out loud.

Eventually, Dani pulls him down for another kiss, slow and languid this time and it feels really, really good this way, too. Just kissing because he wants to kiss and be kissed, not with any pressure or urgency or thoughts about where they’re heading towards. Instead, he finds himself wrapped in Dani’s surprisingly strong arms, feeling strangely safe and at home.

With his afterglow worn off and the first enthusiasm about actually making Dani come gone, too, Marc feels the entire exhaustion of the past weekend hitting him with full force again, his eyes falling closed and he barely notices Dani pulling the sheet over them and nuzzling his head in the crook of Marc’s neck. His own hands instinctively reach around Dani’s body and with Dani’s heartbeat vibrating through his body, Marc knows he’ll be out quickly.

Against his skin, he feels Dani’s hot breath and in his neck, Dani’s fingertips are tracing little circles that make him shiver and it’s beautiful and perfect and Marc thinks he wants this all the time. And this time he will fight to get it for just that. Every night. 

He feels Dani reach over to the nightstand, turning off the light and he likes how neither of them wants to move, not even to clean up.

_Not that I’d have anything to compare it to, but from all I can tell, I think I fell in love with you._

_I'm not myself; lately_  
_I'm foolish, I don't do this_  
_I've been playing myself; baby, I don't care_  
_Cause your love's got the best of me_  
_And, baby, you're making a fool of me_  
_You got me sprung and I don't care who sees_  
_Cause, baby, you got me, you got me goin crazy_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> _Crazy in love_ , version by Daniela Andrade


	22. You Give Me Something

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well, I can't say I'm not worried by how quiet this has become lately?!  
> I'm trying to not read too much into it though... and at the end of the day, this has been written already anyway, so I guess there's no real reason to not keep posting ;) ♥

He’s the first to wake up and even if usually, he’s one to jump right out of bed and head out to do things, today he stays where he is. Every muscle in his body aches from the race, from the too many hours he spent on his bike, but that’s not what keeps him under the sheets. What stops Marc from moving is the sight greeting him when he blinks his eyes open, a still softly snoring Dani curled up in fetal position, hugging a pillow and facing him. Dani’s hair is all ruffled and his cheeks are puffy and quite stubbly. _You barely look my age when you sleep… more like a kid, kind of._

He turns and reaches for his phone, finding that it’s almost nine already and he doesn’t remember the last time he’s slept that long, stayed in bed for so long. As Dani shows no sign of moving, he scrolls through his messages, finding a few congratulations and a text from his parents telling him that he’d be okay to spend the night elsewhere but should be back for dinner because they’d have to talk through his graduation. They’re planning to have a somewhat formal lunch after the diplomas are handed out in the morning and Marc guesses they want his opinion on where to reserve a table. 

Thinking of graduation arrangements, he realizes that especially for the party at night, it’s customary to bring a date. And he… well… kind of has a date, he thinks. Because unless Dani wakes up panicking and changing his mind, which Marc thinks the older isn’t the type to do, he assumes they’re trying exclusive now. The thing about that is though that then that means he should bring Dani, right? And he wants to bring Dani, too, he'd love to have Dani there with him. He’d be the proudest graduate ever to present Dani as his… _boyfriend? Wow… yeah, I think… you are my boyfriend_. What worries him is that first, his parents would find out and he’s not sure on their take of Dani. Not that he’d think they’d mind the whole ‘hey, I think I’m gay’-thing, but he doesn’t think they’ll like the ‘yay, he’s eight years older and has been in jail’-announcement much. Plus, he’s not sure Dani would want to go at all. They haven’t talked about being public yet and Marc has no idea if Dani is _out_ at all. After all, he only ever found out because he stumbled upon Dani and Jorge, not because Dani ever mentioned anything. And before Jorge, if Marc caught glimpses of conversations correctly, Dani had a girlfriend. So… would Dani want to be seen with him? Would he consider going to a party of a bunch of teenagers? Marc isn’t sure, suddenly feels hit by a wave of self-consciousness. What if Dani will realize that Marc is too young and immature for him?

He puts his phone away with a sigh, rolling back to look at Dani, who still looks absolutely adorable. But Marc’s patience for lying still is about over and so he decides to take measures, gently runs his fingers through Dani’s hair and presses a kiss to the stubbly jawline. It doesn’t take too long before Dani starts stirring, eyes squinting at Marc and Marc is absolutely awestruck while he watches Dani’s expression change from confused and disoriented to incredulous. Then, Dani’s lips curl into a smile, his face beaming and it makes Marc’s heart jump a little. 

”Hey there,” he whispers, fingers still in Dani’s hair and grinning widely.

”Morning,” Dani rasps and it’s the sexiest Marc’s ever heard the smaller man’s voice before, making his cock stir a bit under the covers. 

”Breakfast first or shower first?”

Dani cringes at him.

”You seriously want to get up already?”

Dani is actually pouting at him and that’s it, that’s too cute, Marc thinks, leaning in to kiss those lips. Surprisingly quickly, Dani’s hand moves to hold his head in place, the older deepening the kiss. It’s beautiful, Marc thinks, how despite morning breath and being sticky and actually still sweaty and dirty, he feels so completely comfortable around Dani, not minding anything, only wanting to be closer to the other. For just waking up, Dani is extremely well coordinated, takes control of the situation expertly, kisses Marc senseless and aligns their bodies just right for their erections to rub against each other.

He takes both of them over the edge without any haste, wrapping his hand around them and stroking them languidly. But even if he’s moving so very agonizingly slow, Dani never loses his determination it seems and by the time he’s finally there, his orgasm hits Marc like an avalanche, rolls over him and almost leaves him unconscious. This time, it’s Dani waking him, fingers tickling his nose.

”Shower first,” the older says eventually, making Marc, who'd rather not move now cringe. And Dani is now looking entirely too smug.

***

Watching Marc unravel will be Dani’s favorite thing to do for the rest of his life, he decides, still a little breathless but absolutely content and sated. And, even if he hardly dares to think it, very much in love with the boy next to him, the one he’s laced his fingers with, the one who’s looking at him through long lashes, whose cheeks are flushed and who looks gorgeous when he lets go. 

Dani needs to get out of this bed, now, because if he doesn’t, he’ll only say something he’ll regret later, so he suggests a shower and Marc follows him willingly. Them taking said shower together is an established thing, something that doesn’t even need discussion. They don’t do much while they’re under the spray though, only a few languid kisses exchanged between the actual cleaning. He notices that Marc is moving stiffly, realizes the younger will have sore muscles after the weekend and maybe, hopefully, Dani will get a chance to offer a massage to help with that later.

While they’re getting dry and dressed, he hears Marc stomach growl extra loudly and almost bursts into laughter.

”Hey, I’m starving here, don’t make fun of me.” The younger pouts and throws a towel at him and they joke around for a bit. Dani isn’t sure when he’s played around so carelessly for the last time, just for fun’s sake, tickling, teasing, biting.

When they’re out of breath from wrestling each other in the bathroom, he goes to fix them coffee and toast and Marc follows, sitting at his kitchen table and watching him with a strange expression on his face. It’s a look that has Dani worried, because there’s too much uncertainty in Marc’s eyes, too many question marks.

”You okay?” He asks, putting down their cups on the table and taking the chair across from Marc.

”Are we-“, Marc stops, looks at him, eyes even more questioning than before and _oh_. Maybe Dani isn’t the only one here who needs some reassurance.

”Are we…what?” He tries to encourage Marc by covering the boy’s hand with his own, Marc’s gaze dropping to watch their fingers.

”Dating?” Marc replies, voice whispering.

”I-“ Dani gulps, suddenly realizing that yes, he wants this, but wow, he’s never said that to a man before, “yeah, I think we are, right?”

”Okay.”

”Okay?” That’s not quite the reaction Dani would have expected.

”Well,” Marc squeezes his hand and then looks up, meeting his gaze and Dani melts as he sees the shy smile on the boy’s face, a new but definitely amazing look on the young man, “my graduation is coming up and uh- we’re… I mean… it’s customary that you… uh… well… bring a date. I mean, if you have one, you know? A girlfriend or boyfriend. You… take them to the ceremony and the party and uh-“

Marc stops, looks down again, evading Dani’s gaze and Dani sees the boy’s blushed face and bites back a smile. Then, the words slowly sink in and Dani’s mind processes the little pieces of information Marc has thrown at him. The true question behind Marc’s little ramblings hits him like a hammer. _Shit… you mean… you and me… together. There. With your friends and family. You really mean…_

Dani opens and closes his mouth a couple of times, his brain not quite capable of forming words yet. And when he manages a reply, it’s not more than a single syllable.

”Wow.”

 _You give me something_  
_That makes me scared alright_  
_This could be nothing_  
_But I'm willing to give it a try_  
_Please give me something_  
_Because someday I might know my heart_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> _You give me something_ , James Morrison


	23. Come Undone

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you ♥ I'm so glad you're still following ♥   
> Writing without feedback always feels a bit like talking to yourself ;)

“Are you sure that’s a good idea?” Dani asks eventually, his heart breaking from the sad look that puts on Marc’s face.

”You don’t think it could be okay?” The boy is biting his lip. Again. And that simple habit is going to be the end of Dani, he thinks, while he tries to distract himself. Because now is not the moment to get hard. Just not the moment.

”I don’t know,” he says reluctantly, focusing back on the question that’s hanging between them, “I really don’t. I mean… everybody would see, right? Your friends? Your family? Doesn’t it worry you?”

Marc shakes his head, but Dani doesn’t think he looks sure, just defiant.

”They’d understand. Most of them would. And if they don’t, then I don’t care about them.”

The naivety, the assumption of how simple that would be, it makes Dani’s heart clench again. Because it’s not, it wouldn’t be and he knows it, but it would be so much easier to just let Marc’s enthusiasm carry both of them away.

”Do you really think your parents would just happily accept me into your family? Not as a friend, but as your boyfriend?”

His eyes meet Marc’s and he sees the moment where Marc faces reality and then the boy quickly averts his eyes and shakes his head. It’s a bit soul-crushing, Dani thinks, not for the first time wishing the world was a somewhat better place. With a small sigh, he reaches over the table, finger tilting up Marc’s chin.

”See? And I don’t think you could ever not care about their opinion. And you should care. And Marc,” he takes a deep breath, thumb tracing Marc’s lips, “I’m not saying never, okay? Just not yet.”

He sees Marc gulp. And bite his lips. And he might have growled softly at the sight. At least, Marc looks at him slightly confused now.

”Sorry,” Dani can feel his cheeks blushing and quickly takes his hand away from Marc’s face, “it’s just… you’re doing things to me, you know?”

Marc is still staring at him as confused as before and Dani wants that look to go away, along with the sad puppy eyes, so he gets up, sits on the table next to Marc’s cup of coffee and grabs Marc’s hand, letting it rest loosely against his lap.

”See? These things. God, you have no idea how beautiful you are, do you?”

Marc’s eyes widen, almost looking shocked and it’s adorable, that shy, incredulous look, up at Dani’s face.

”You really think that?”

Instead of a reply, Dani presses Marc’s hand down harder and nods.

”Definitely.”

Marc blushes and Dani grins – until Marc’s fingers start moving, rubbing over his bulge, making him gasp.

”You know,” the younger says, the sudden confidence in his voice catching Dani by surprise, “I don’t have to be home before tonight. So... we could always go back to bed, right?”

It will never not be amazing for Dani how quickly Marc can go from blushing virgin to absolute tease and it’s all he can manage to hold back a groan now, his head nodding frantically.

The clothes they haven’t even worn for an hour are lost before they fall onto the mattress, Marc pulling him down on top of him, both of them undeniably hard.

”So,” Marc looks up at him, hands around Dani’s neck, eyes expectant.

”So?”

”What we did… the other night… I want you to do that again.” Marc’s voice Is a little shaky but he’s holding Dani’s gaze, eyes completely serious.

It takes the air from Dani’s lungs, the offer coming more than a bit unexpected.

”You want me to fuck you?” Dani needs to clarify this, otherwise he won’t believe it.

”Yes… I mean, it hurt a bit, but it’s been amazing and I really want that again.”

Dani bends down for a kiss, deep and passionate and full of urgency this time. He keeps it up until they’re both groaning and then pulls back, feeling a little dizzy and breathless.

”Okay, but on your stomach this time. It will hurt less.”

***

Not seeing Dani doesn’t seem like a good idea to him, but the way Dani’s said that didn’t sound like Marc would get a say, so he pulls Dani down for another searing kiss and then does as he’s told. Dani shoves a pillow under him and it’s uncomfortable, makes him feel too much on display, with his ass sticking up and his legs spread a bit.

”You look gorgeous,” Dani whispers, his hands suddenly on Marc’s back, massaging him carefully.

He shudders under the touch but quickly relaxes into it, because Dani sure knows what he’s doing here. It’s not long before Marc moans contently into the pillow. He’s almost drifting away, his arousal not as urgent as it was before and his mind floating, Dani’s touch sending him into a totally happy oblivion. Eventually, after a felt eternity, he feels Dani’s tongue, first against his ear, then in his neck, slowly moving down. It’s hot, hotter than he expected and it takes him down from his cloud, right back to a state of need. And the content moans change into impatient whimpers, while Dani makes his path down his spine agonizingly slow.

While his back is littered with kisses and a few scratches and bruises, Marc’s fingers clench in the sheets and he begins to grind against the pillow, want winning the better of him. It doesn’t stop Dani from teasing him though. He can now feel Dani’s stubble scratching in the small of his back and Dani’s hands are running up the inside of his thighs, making his legs fall open almost automatically. Which should be embarrassing, because it’s so obviously needy, but Marc is gone, too far gone, to care.

Dani starts licking along his crack and for an instant, he’s shocked at the idea, but then Dani’s tongue is lapping at his hole, circling it and Marc can’t do anything else but whine into the pillow, his hips bucking to basically fuck the pillow under him now and a string of inarticulate pleas and curses following.

Behind him, Dani chuckles softly, before he repeats the same thing, Marc wailing and begging for more desperately now. He’s never heard of anything like that, would never have imagined another man’s mouth or tongue _there_ , but it’s so hot and so good that he’s glad Dani knows.

”You like that?” The older whispers into his ear, shivers running down Marc’s spine.

He can’t reply, can’t form the words and only nods into the pillow. 

”Good, because I do, too,” Dani kisses his neck, sucks another bruise – and briefly, Marc wonders how he’ll explain all these marks. Then, a lube-slicked finger circles his hole and his capacities to think coherently are gone. Instead, he whines and begs some more, knuckles going white from the grip on the sheets.

Dani moves slower this time, almost too slow going by the way Marc’s desire burns through his veins. One by one, Dani pushes first one, then two, then three into him, slowly thrusting in and out, scissoring and stretching. It still burns, but definitely less than last time. And when Dani starts rubbing over _that_ spot again, a few words leave Marc’s mouth that would have prompted his mother to disown him, he thinks. Wordlessly begging for more, he pushes his hips back against Dani’s touch and the other gets the hint, he thinks, as he hears a foil wrapper being torn open.

Dani moves to cover him, hands on his and face in the crook of his neck, before he pushes in. It’s still not his favorite feeling in the world, but it’s easier to relax this time, especially since he knows it will stop hurting fast. He’s still covered in sweat and panting heavily by the time the smaller bottoms out.

”You okay?”

Marc nods, still not capable of speaking. Instead, he bucks his hips a bit, encouraging Dani to move. And Dani does, rolling his hips beautiful, soon meeting that spot inside Marc with every thrust and so making him scream, sound muffled by the pillow.

He loses track of time and space this time, only knows that they are moving in a perfect rhythm, Dani always hitting just the right spot inside him and he might be mewling by now, but he couldn’t tell which sounds in the room are from him and which from Dani, who is still covering him, holding him. At one point, Dani’s fingers are between the pillow and his cock and it’s more than he can deal with, his screams muffled by the fabric and his entire body shuddering in Dani’s hold. 

***

Dani feels like he’s floating after that and he’d call it the best sex of his life, just for the sounds that Marc made under him. He discards the condom, cleans both of them and then snuggles up against the taller, who is on his side now, facing him with glazed eyes.

”Wow.” Is all Marc says, voice a bit hoarse. 

Dani chuckles, kisses his forehead and covers them with the sheets.

”Glad you liked it,” he says, fingers toying with some of the stray streaks of hair sticking up from Marc’s head.

”Like is not the word for it, really. That was unbelievably hot.”

Marc curls up against him, head nuzzling in the nape of his neck, hot breath making Dani shudder.

”Dani?” Marc asks after a while of silence.

”Hm?”

”How was your first time?”

Okay, that is a little unexpected, Dani thinks.

”Why?”

”Well, you know about mine and I’m curious.” Marc is speaking against the skin of Dani’s neck and Dani would rather sleep or doze a bit. Still, Marc is kind of right.

”Guy or girl, top or bottom?”

He disentangles from Marc and sits up, because when they’re having _this_ talk, he wants to look into the boy’s eyes. Marc rolls to his back, looking up at him through long lashes.

”You bottom?”

Dani cringes, regrets mentioning that part.

”Not really. Not anymore.”

Marc stares at him for a moment and Dani can see and hear him think, but he doesn’t say anything about it, just curls his lips into a small smile.

”Okay. Then first time ever. Who, what, how?”

”Her name was Liz, we were both sixteen and I... well, we were at the same camp and had sex in her tent. And to be honest, it wasn’t very good at all. We were nervous as hell, couldn’t make a sound, had no space to move and both no clue what we were actually doing.”

”Sounds kind of funny,” Marc says with a huge grin.

”Believe me, at the time, it wasn’t funny.” The comment makes Marc giggle and Dani loves the sound, the soft _jajaja_. 

Marc is quiet for a while, just studying his face and Dani is starting to feel uncomfortable under the scrutiny, when the younger speaks up again, ”When you have sex with me… is it… I don’t know… good for you?”

”What?” He takes a moment to check, but it looks like Marc is absolutely sincere about the question. “It’s perfect, absolutely perfect. Why are you worried?”

”I don’t know.” Marc is blushing and Dani isn’t buying that one bit.

”Tell me, please. I want to know why you worry, I want to find out how to make you stop.”

”I just… I feel like I can’t quite compare, you know? With someone like Jorge?”

”Compare?” Dani splutters a bit, feels off kilter, can’t understand how Marc could ever doubt that, could not see just how much more _this_ is. “I’m not comparing, okay? And you’re perfect, really. I love being with you. And I love doing this with you. To you. And that you let me do it, that you trust me enough.”

Marc pulls him down for a kiss after that and Dani hopes that’s enough to convince the younger, that it’s the end of the discussion. Because really, if it’s not, he’ll end up saying something stupid.

***

He pulls Dani down towards himself, curls up against the smaller once more, head on his shoulder, loving the way his he can feel his heartbeat vibrate through his own body.

”So, do your parents know that you like guys?” He asks eventually, genuinely curious and still very aware that Dani knows so much more about him than he does about Dani.

”No, no they don’t.” He feels Dani wrap an arm around him, revels in the feeling of safety that gives him and waits, because the way Dani said that, he thinks there’s more to come.

”My mother would understand though, I’m sure. My dad wouldn’t. But we’re not close… I mean… after I got sent off to jail we never got along anymore anyway. So it wouldn’t matter.”

”Oh,” he says and regrets asking a bit, though it didn’t sound like he hit a bad spot. “Do you have brothers or sisters?”

”Mhm, I have a brother, Eric. He’s a photographer. Alex is your only brother, right?”

Marc is glad their conversation is drifting towards happier, less dangerous topics and they discuss families and racing for a bit. He’s surprised to find that Dani used to do Supermoto, though it explains a lot. It’s another growl from his stomach that leads them to leaving the bed eventually and it’s already afternoon, so Marc knows their time is running out, at least for now. After another shower, they fix pasta, mostly in silence, both hyperaware of the time.

While Dani finishes their lunch, he watches from the kitchen chair. And he imagines Dani in a suit. It’s a hot mental image, he concludes and yeah, he really wants Dani in a suit. So far, Marc is not ready to give up the idea of his graduation date, not one bit. Somehow, he still thinks that it should work. Sure, there might be initial uproar, but in the long run, he thinks everybody would calm down. And it doesn’t seem as if Dani opposes the outing in general. So there’s still hope and Marc thinks he will be taking the chance. This time he will. Now, he just has to figure out how they’re going to deal with this, _their relationship_ until then. Hiding in Dani’s apartment?

”So,” he asks, Dani just putting down their plates, “when is our third date?”

_Oh, it’ll take a little time,_  
_Might take a little crime_  
_To come undone now_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> _Come undone_ , Duran Duran


	24. Dangerous

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you all so, so much ♥ ♥ ♥

Marc leaves after their late lunch, this time with a proper kiss, a long hug and a broad grin. And the agreement that he would come spend the night again on Wednesday, after training, where this time, Dani would be around at the track. Dani decides to let the dishes be dishes for a bit and walks out on his balcony, a huge smile never leaving his face. When he sits down on his lonely chair and takes out his cigarettes, he eyes the box with wonder, realizing that with Marc around, he hasn’t really craved any all morning.

_As if you’d put my mind at ease, take the nerves away. Like some miracle potion._

Dani sighs and lights one, the taste comforting but not quite the same appeasement as a look or touch from Marc. If he was religious, he thinks this would be the right moment to pray, pray that he’ll get to keep Marc forever, however selfish that may be. Is it irresponsible to allow this to develop? Drawing a teenager into a relationship that will come with so many obstacles? So many restrictions? A partner with so much baggage? The uncomfortable twisting in his stomach is all the answer he needs and still, Dani doubts he has it in him to end this. He’s in way too deep to do that. 

With another sigh, he picks up his phone, searching for Jorge in his contacts. They had closed the store for the day, but Dani would really like or need to see Jorge. Because maybe Jorge would know how to deal with all of this, from Marc’s offer to be his mechanic to their beginning relationship. And maybe even how to deal with Marc’s parents? 

***

Leaving Dani has been easier today than it was last time, mostly because today, he’s leaving with their next date already planned and therefore doesn’t have to worry about how or when they will or won’t see and talk. Walking back to his parents doesn’t take too long, it’s barely fifteen minutes. But this time, he assumes that he has been seen by a few people. With a shrug, he decides to take a small detour, walking up to Vale’s place. And if anyone finds out where he was and spreads the words, he thinks, defiant pout on his face, then they still can’t change his feelings for Dani. And really, after Vale and Casey and Jorge and Ricky, he doubts people would still be surprised, shocked or outraged about any of it.

Before he gets to his destination, he types a quick message for Pol who’s informed him that things with Caterina are proceeding nicely. Marc is happy for him, genuinely happy, because Pol deserves some luck after the mess that his relationship with Lisa turned out to be. Pol, as usual, has no problem supplying him with an alibi and as he has countless times before, Marc is eternally grateful today, too. Pol also asked about how it went regarding last night, but Marc doesn’t really know what to say. It’s been hot and sexy and perfect, but he’s still worried that he might not live up to Dani’s expectations, because how could an inexperienced, somewhat dorky teenager compare with Jorge? And, even if he tried to hide it from Dani, the realization that Dani bottomed with other men but won’t do it with him stings. A little at least. But Marc won’t question this know, won’t scare Dani off that quickly. He decides he’ll take what he can get for now and the rest will work itself out eventually. And he’s back to imagining Dani in a suit, back to making plans for that graduation day, the one idea he’s not ready to give up on this easily.

He skips up the stairs to Vale’s apartment over the garage, wondering if his mentor – in more than one aspect of life – would be back from the hospital already. Linda opens the door for him, greeting her with her usual wide smile and a hug and wow, Marc thinks, she’s all kinds of hot and wonderful and still doesn’t do anything for him. _That should have been my hint, I guess._

”Hey Linda!”

”Hi Bambino, looking for Vale?” She lets him in and throws him a questioning glance, already pointing towards their bedroom.

”Yes. Can he have visitors?”

She’s just about to answer, when a familiar voice echoes even through the closed door.

”I’m fine, bambino. Just come in. And tell her she’s not my mother and bring beer.”

He bursts into giggles along with Linda, who pats his shoulder eventually.

”As you can hear, he’s just fine. Here, take the coke with you. And,” she raises her voice, “tell him he can’t have beer because he’s taken heavy painkillers and that could end up nasty.”

There’s a protesting groan in the bedroom and when Marc enters, facing Vale who’s pale and propped up with pillows all around him. The older eyes the bottle skeptically. 

”Well,” Marc opens it and hands it over, “she is right though.”

”Stop siding with the enemy,” Vale says before he sighs dramatically and takes a sip. “What’s taken you here, bambino?”

”I wanted to see if you’re better.”

Vale looks at him for a second, then giggles.

”Nice joke, kiddo. You would have called if that was it. So, do tell, what’s up between you and Dani?”

Vale motions for him to sit on the bed, but Marc feels uncomfortable taking what’s supposedly Linda’s side and ends up on a chair next to Vale. The other does look weak and it’s not like Marc has never seen him injured before and he’s sure seen him in worse condition, hooked up to IVs and intubated even, but still, seeing Vale hurt and weak makes him shudder. Every time. Because Vale is the person he looks up to most, maybe even more than to his parents and Vale should be invincible. In Marc’s mind, he kind of is. Unless things like this happen. At least, Vale’s eyes are sparkling again already, probably with curiosity. And that’s definitely a good sign.

”I spent the night and we have another date on Wednesday. So it’s gone well, I think,” he says eventually.>

”But?” Trust Vale to read right through him.

”No but, it was good.” Marc says, but he’s not even fooling himself with that pathetic voice.

Vale doesn’t even reply, just raises an eyebrow.

”Okay. So… I think I want to take him along to my graduation ceremony,” Marc blurts out.

Vale just gapes at him for a moment.

”Seriously? You want to come out already?”

Marc shrugs, puts on his defiant face. “Why not?”

”Don’t get me wrong, bambino, it’s a good idea. And I think everybody can and should be open about it, but don’t you think this is really early? I mean… you’d have to explain it to your parents then, too.”

Sometimes, Marc just hates how everybody is always so much more mature and grown up about things, he really does. 

***

Vale hates Marc’s ‘kicked-puppy-face’, he hates it so much. Because it’s irresistible and the boy made him do things against his will more than once with this expression. It’s the same now, because it takes some restraint not to tell Marc how yeah, coming out now would totally be a good idea. Which Vale thinks it’s very clearly not. He’s known Marc’s parents for many years, he knows Marc, he knows Dani. Dani would want to be honest about everything, Marc’s parents would never agree to their son dating a criminal and Marc would end up just being defiant and childish – which he has every right to be as a teenager. Still, the outcome wouldn’t be helpful for anyone.

”How long until graduation?” He asks eventually, wondering if there’s some sneaky way of solving this.

”Two weeks.”

”Maybe something will come up?” Vale suggests, feeling terrified once he realizes that he’s done it again, has fallen for Marc’s pout another time and is now plotting in favor of something he didn’t want the boy to do in the first place. The realization makes him frown, but Marc seems oblvious.

”Do you think Dani could fill in as my mechanic instead of you? I mean, you need to recover anyway, right? So we’d have a perfect reason… and if you’d borrow us the van… we could do the rest by ourselves, right? And Santi would always be there, too and Emilio sometimes and my dad, so you won’t have to worry.”

_Sneaky. Very sneaky. Very, very sneaky._

Vale grins widely. Anyone else, he would have worried about actually, would have thought that with a first love running so deep and all the butterflies, they’d forget the race and fuck like bunnies in his van. With Marc, he doesn’t have that, because Marc would, even with his emotions and desires running havoc, put racing first, Vale trusts him with that. Marc is like him after all and he knows how he works. And it _is_ true that he could use some time to recover. And then some time for Linda and Luca. So it’s only natural that he nods in agreement.

”Well, sounds like you planned that nicely,” he says with a smirk, managing to make Marc blush. “You’re fine and sure you get the van. But you have to bring your own sleeping bags and change the sheets.”

Marc’s face turns beetroot over his remark and Vale chuckles.

”Sorry bambino, I didn’t mean to embarrass you.”

Marc is quiet for another moment, seemingly thinking something through, before he finally looks at him with eyes that are suddenly very determined.

”How do I give head?”

And if Marc’s plan had been to make Vale blush as badly as himself, he certainly accomplished it now, the older thinks, his cheeks seemingly in flames.

”What?” He splutters, takes a sip of coke, mainly for distraction. Marc stares at the floor.

”Well, Dani was really good at it.” _Too much information_ Vale is tempted to cover his ears. “And since Dani knows what he’s doing, I’d like to know, too… I mean…. I want to return, you know?”

Marc is stammering and of course Vale knows. And he understands. But still.

”Uh, bambino, can’t you ask anyone else?”

”Pol doesn’t do guys, Alex won’t know and I don’t trust anyone else enough to ask them about this. Maybe Jorge. But he’s been with Dani and that would be awkward.”

_I have to work with Dani. Tell me about awkward. Ew._

”Sorry, but I don’t really know… how to explain? You just… maybe you just try and ask him what feels good?”

_Dear ground, please swallow me now. Before this gets any more uncomfortable._

”Do you think I can do better than Jorge?”

_Yikes. Did I teach you to make a competition out of EVERYTHING? Shit._

”I really don’t think Dani will compare that. It’s totally different. And you don’t even know if Jorge ever-“

Vale stops cold, images in his head not erasable anymore and he shakes himself in an attempt to clear his brain.

Marc is still looking at him expectantly and eventually, he just sighs.

”Seriously, bambino. I don’t think you have to worry about that. Dani loves-“

_Fuuuuuuuck._

”Dani loves being with you, it seems,” _good save…_ “and you’ll figure the rest out by yourself. You’ve always been a fast learner.”

***

Jorge declines Dani’s invitation politely, because he’s quite sure Marc would have his head if he found out about it. It surprises him that Dani didn’t think about that, but then it seems Dani is still struggling to accept that anyone could be interested in him, so why would the small guy understand or see that someone could be so jealous because of him? And it’s not that Jorge is jealous of Marc because of Dani, but what he _is_ jealous about is the obvious attraction between them, the way they’re looking at each other, the way they’re beaming whenever the other is around. Jorge misses having that, misses the butterflies and even the sleepless nights. Even more so after he’s seen Ricky and didn’t have it with him anymore. Time for someone new it seems.

After receiving a call from Vale and spending a good ten minutes laughing about the apparently very enlightening conversation Vale had with Marc, Jorge does call Dani at least, because he thinks that should be okay, even for Marc. And Dani tells him about some things, but won’t talk about others and from piecing together the tidbits of information, Jorge now knows that Dani seems to have an issue with bottoming and that Marc seems to be a bit too eager to come out. And that, Jorge thinks, could be a true problem. He remembers telling his own parents, still hears his father’s screaming as clear as if it was yesterday, the pain when he’d been told he was no longer his son. Now, Jorge doesn’t think Julia would be quite as cruel, but still, people do not always react happily to these kinds of announcements. Especially not in small villages and not necessarily in the world of professional motorsports either. 

***

”So, we thought we’d either go to the hotel close to the lake or we could have brunch in the Park-Café. Which one would you prefer?”

Marc ‘s eyes dart back and forth between his parents, both eying him curiously, with happy, warm smiles. And it would be so easy… it should be so easy.

”I think… I like the hotel better?”

”Okay,” his father nods, “it’s your graduation and your choice. I’ll call them tomorrow and make the reservation then.”

Marc’s heart is racing now, making him feel dizzy already.

”Uh dad…”

”Yes?” Julia smiles him, as encouraging as ever.

”I think you should reserve for seven people and not for six.”

 _And I can hear the sirens burning_  
_Red lights turning_  
_I can't turn back now_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> _Dangerous_ , David Guetta


	25. By Your Side

”Oh,” his mom smiles tentatively, “so you and that girl, Nora, right? You-“

Alex balls his fists and stares at his plate, trying to look as invisible as possible. Because he _knows_ this won’t be about Nora. Furthermore, he has a suspicion whom this might be about. After all, he has eyes and he did notice things these past weeks. People who were around and people who weren’t. And if he’s right, this will be a bombshell, one he’s not sure he wants to witness dropping.

”No, not Nora-“ Marc hesitates and Alex thinks he’s probably blushing. Not that Alex could tell for sure, because his eyes are still staring at the last bits of ratatouille on his plate.

”Oh, do we know her?”

His mom again, apparently clueless. Alex cringes.

”It’s actually not a her.”

”Okay,” he hears his dad take a deep breath, obviously trying to control himself, “okay, we can… I mean… if you think… -“

”Do we know him?” His mother interrupts, voice sharp.

”It’s Dani, Vale’s new mechanic.”

Alex wishes he had been wrong. And around him, hell breaks loose, with yelling and screaming and he tiptoes into the kitchen, puts his plate in the sink and wonders, wonders whether it’s more about Marc having a boyfriend or Marc having _that_ boyfriend. He’s not heard that much about Dani, but just for the age difference, he’s quite sure his parents won’t approve. 

”Marc, no, that’s not how it works. You’re still underage and living under our roof and-“ Alex tunes out of the yelling momentarily, stares into the pots soaking in the sink and decides to start cleaning them. Better to avoid further drama tonight. “....And anyway, you know, after all we’ve done for you and your brother...”

He almost growls at the standard argument. Which, in his opinion, is not valid. Marc and him, they’ve never asked anyone to give up anything so they don't have to feel guilty about it.

”I’ve done what you wanted for seventeen years now and I’m sick of it, you know that? For once, I want to be like everybody else. I want what they have. A relationship, someone who’s there, who stays over on the weekend, has breakfast with all of us, you know? That normal stuff that we hardly ever get to do? I want that and you know what else? I deserve it. You got your straight A graduate, I have my spot at university and a team and a contract for next season. That pays good money, by the way. So unless you change your mind, I’ll be going to that ceremony with my boyfriend alone.”

A slam of the front door confirms Alex’s worries and he leans against the countertop briefly, then dries his hands and walks out, ready to hide in his room.

”You know, he hasn’t been very happy lately,” he says softly when he passes by their dining room, but he’s sure his mother heard him anyway and hopes she'll see it. Because he doubts Marc is negotiating this.

***

Pol is not surprised when Roser calls him, Marc’s kept him informed on the recent happenings. And it’s a bit mindblowing, he thinks, how Marc can just find out that he’s guy, start his first relationship to “determined to come out for everyone see” in a few weeks only. But then, Pol’s well aware that a Marquez does things at his own, unprecedented speed.

”Sorry, he’s not here,” he tells her, “and he didn’t tell me where he’s going.”

It’s the truth, Marc omitted that. Only told him he wouldn’t go to Dani, because well, Dani hadn’t been that much in favor of coming out already and Marc has been too scared to tell him that he outed them anyway.

***

Julia has no problem finding out Dani’s address, but with Marc’s bike missing and nowhere to be seen around the apartment complex, he doubts that’s where his eldest went. And somehow, he doesn’t dare to ring, doesn’t feel ready to face that man now. He might do something stupid. With a sigh, he walks back to his car, wondering how the hell he missed it. How he didn’t see it. He should have seen it, that much is for sure.

He falls into the seat heavily and drives back home, the furor slowly making more and more space for anxiety. After all, he’s never seen or heard Marc like that and deep down, he knows that a few of the things Marc said were right. They had expected a lot, still do. For years. And it’s paid off and both their sons usually are nothing but grateful so Marc is right, he kind of deserves some of that everyday life he craves. Especially now that he’ll have a few months to enjoy it. But why, why, why does it have to be an older man? Who, from all they’ve heard, has a somewhat shady past.

***

”Roser, hi, uh- I just wanted to let you know that he’s here.”

”Jorge? He went to your place?” Not that he just ran away… but he ran to Jorge? Even Jorge, who normally isn’t quite close to her son, is better than their home right now?

”Uh- yeah… It’s a long story, I guess. He is fine, but he wants to stay overnight and I won’t kick him out but I wanted you to know he’s okay.”

”Thank you so much. For calling and for letting him stay.” _I want my baby back home. Send him home!_

”Yeah… uh… it’s not really my place to say this but-“ She cringes, frowns and agrees, _It’s totally not your place to say anything. You don’t even have kids. What do you know or understand about this?_

”Dani is a really good guy and maybe you should give them a chance to prove themselves. They’re pretty serious about this and Marc seems… well, quite determined.”

”Well,” she says coolly, “it’s nice of you to call, but you’re right, this is not your business. And Jorge, I don’t know Dani. I don’t trust Dani. And quite frankly, I don’t trust you, Jorge Lorenzo. So, whatever you say, it’s not helping.”

”It’s not about whether you trust me or Dani. It’s only about whether you trust Marc.” She bites her lips, the cold reply shattering her to the bones, “Do you trust your son?”

Jorge hangs up without a further word and she lets herself fall to one of the dining chairs. It hurts to realize that maybe, they’ve done Marc wrong, that they haven’t given him the credit they should have. Jorge’s question is justified, she should be able to trust Marc, right? Because he’s never, not once, given her a reason not to. He deserves better. 

***

Jorge lets him stay the night but forces him to come along to the garage the next morning, meaning Marc is standing against the wall, shivering because he’s tired and hasn’t eaten and simply because he’s scared. Dani’s face drops as soon as he gets there and Marc feels nauseous.

”Okay, I’ll be in the office for a while then,” he hears Jorge’s voice behind them, hears him walk up the stairs.

”Why are you here? What’s wrong?”

”I told my parents.”

”What did you tell them?” He can hear the panic rise in Dani's voice and it makes his knees even weaker.

”That we’re together. That I want you to come to the graduation ceremony.” Marc stares at his own feet and feels incredibly small and helpless, “I’m so sorry, Dani.”

He’s expected a lot of possible reactions, but a passionate kiss hasn’t been one of them and once Dani finally backs away, leaving both of them gasping and with swollen lips, he can only stare at the other with a puzzled look on his face.

”You’re not mad?”

Dani shakes his head, leans forward so their foreheads are touching and then laces their fingers. And no, it really doesn’t seem like he’s angry.

”I- it would have been nice if you’d talked to me, given me a warning. If I’d known it matters so much I’d have agreed, you know?” Dani stares at him questioningly and he gulps and nods. “See? But still, the fact that it does mean so much to you… that you want them and everybody else to know so badly, that’s just… I don’t think anyone has ever done something like that for me, you know?”

With rocks falling from his chest, Marc buries his face in Dani’s shoulder and relaxes into the older man’s hold.

They just stand there for a while, Dani comforting him, rubbing his back and kissing his hair. Marc feels so stupid right now, so much like the inexperienced, defiant teenager he probably still is. It’s making him burn with shame.

”When do your parents get home from work?” Dani asks eventually and Marc swallows hard, sensing where this might be going.

”Early afternoon,” he mumbles into Dani’s clothes, his muscles going rigid already.

”I’ll take you home and we’ll sort this. Properly.”

***

Strictly speaking, Vale knows that he’s eavesdropping. But, he figures, this is his place after all so he’s allowed to sit crouched up on the top of the stairs. Even if he might _accidentally_ overhear a conversation. And this one certainly makes him beam. Plus, total win on his side, something he’ll have to rub in Jorge’s face at one point. Because whatever Jorge might think, Vale does know how to pick his employees after all. He feels almost proud of Dani, acknowledges that the little guy sure has balls here. At least, Vale wouldn’t want to deal with angry Roser. Not at all. Still smiling to himself, he tiptoes back towards his apartment, praying that Linda hasn’t noticed him leaving his bed, which apparently, he’s not yet allowed to do. He’s almost made it through the door, mattress in sight already, when a sharp voice behind him makes him jump.

”I totally saw what you did there, Valentino.”

_Damned. That girl has ears that are too fine for her own good._

***

Marc spends the day hanging out at the garage, helping Dani with some repairs, nervousness palpable between them. Jorge does his best to keep the mood lightly and even lets them use his car in the afternoon, once Marc’s parents should both be home again. Dani drives them to Marc’s place, hands clutching to the steering wheel with white knuckles. Marc is monosyllabic next to him, only giving directions when necessary. Sure, Dani feels sorry for this, but then it’s been Marc’s choice and he’s not willing to let their relationship start like this, with Marc’s parents opposing them and a cut running through the family. He has enough of that in his own family, no need for Marc’s to turn into the same. But it’s a hard thing to do, something that makes him feel very, very small and insufficient and just plain out mortified. Still, Dani _knows_ he’s doing the right thing, even when pulling into the driveway to the small but immaculate red brick house feels like stopping for another trial. 

They stay in the car, wordlessly, for a moment. Probably, that’s ridiculous and there’s surely no way back, because with the way this village works, Dani has no doubt that their arrival has been noted.

”Ready?” He asks, taking Marc’s hand and squeezing it lightly.

”No.” A shake of the boy’s head, another kicked-puppy-face that wrecks Dani's heart.

”Can we go in anyway?”

Marc nods and leaves the car, coming around to the driver’s side and holding Dani’s door open.

_3…2…1… head down, eyes closed, go._

Dani takes Marc’s hand which is as cold and clammy as his own, laces their fingers and they walk up to the door, side by side. _Can I have you at my side forever? Because despite everything right now, that feels quite amazing?_ While Marc unlocks the door, Dani straightens his body, his muscles tense and his pulse racing.

”Mom? Dad? I- We’re home.”

_Okay world, it’s been nice knowing you._

Dani tries to prepare himself for the upcoming thunderstorm, but for the moment, all that happens is that Marc’s parents rush into the hallway and face them with concerned eyes, nobody speaking. 

”I-“ Dani swallows, coughs, wills his brain to work and not mess this up for once, “Hi, I’m Dani Pedrosa and I’m sorry about the way we meet, but I’m your son’s boyfriend.”

He feels Marc squeeze his hand, maybe with gratitude? Marc’s parents just stare at him for a moment, before his mother holds her hand out to him.

”I’m Roser, Marc’s mom. It’s, uh, nice meeting you, Dani.”

He’s not quite buying that, but he takes it as a positive that she’s trying to be polite.

”I’m Julia, Marc’s dad. I think we’ve met at the cross track already.”

The man eyes him with a badly hidden frown and well, looks like there won’t be a handshake.

”I’m sorry,” Marc stammers next to him and it’s Dani’s turn to squeeze his hand now.

”I know, baby, I know.” Out of the corner of his eyes, he can see Marc blush adorably over his mother’s words and Dani does bite back a smile. _Baby._ “I know you’re sorry. Your father and I are sorry, too.”

Marc’s dad nods reluctantly and well, Dani thinks, this is better than he’d have expected.

”Dani, I’m sorry about the way this is starting out… why don’t we just all have coffee together?”

_And it’s getting even better._ Dani looks from Marc’s father, who seems like he’s genuine about the invitation, to Marc, who looks as shell-shocked as Dani feels.

So he has coffee with his boyfriend and his parents, for the first time in his life, leaving him incredulous and like in some surreal parallel universe. Both, Roser and Julia, try hard, he thinks, ask about where he comes from, his parents, his brother and he explains, about his father being a unemployed, his mom being a hairdresser, how is brother works as a photographer. And eventually, because he knows he won’t find peace if he doesn’t, he takes a deep breath, laces his fingers with Marc’s under the table and blurts out the inevitable.

”I’d rather have you hear from me than anyone else… I’ve been in prison for a couple of years because I was involved in an accident with a stolen boat where someone got badly hurt.”

It’s not exactly helping his case, but they don’t kick him out right away. Still, there’s no way he’s missing how they restrain themselves now. And the air is thick enough to cut it with a knife now.

”I- I think I better get going,” he says eventually, conversation rocky to say the least.

”It was nice meeting you,” Roser says with a forced smile.

”Yes, absolutely,” Marc’s dad nods in agreement, “and well, since it’s what Marc’s been wanting for a while now it seems, why don’t you join us for dinner tomorrow night?”

Dani is speechless and it seems so are Marc and Roser.

”Yes, that would be nice, right?” Roser gathers herself first and Dani, well, what choice does he have?

”Sure, I’d love to. Uh… what time?”

”Is eight okay for you?” Roser smiles, still looking a bit forced, but under the circumstances? That’s way more than he’d have expected.

”Sure, I’ll be there. Thank you for the invitation.”

So Dani’s first meeting with Marc’s parents ended up, well, different from what he’d expected and he’s taken to the door by a still speechless Marc.

”You know,” Marc whispers, wrapping him in a hug, “I have no idea what happened here, but it seems alien abducted and brainwashed my parents.”

Dani chuckles against Marc’s shoulder.

”Well, I guess that explanation is as good as any other. Seriously though, do I need to wear a bulletproof vest tomorrow? Or are they going to poison my food?”

They joke around for a bit more, tension draining from their bodies eventually and wow, Dani thinks, this is really happening then. _I’m in a serious relationship. With a man. And I’m having dinner with his family._

”Okay, see you tomorrow then,” Marc says eventually, pressing another goodbye kiss to his lips, “oh, and bring an overnight bag, you’re definitely staying over.”

”You’re kidding, right?” Dani feels the color drain from his face.

”Nope, no kidding. I wanted that for ages, someone who’s part of the family, who spends the night here, so we can just start that now.”

”Don’t you want to give them more time?”

”They had seventeen years to mentally prepare for me growing up, I don’t think so.”

Dani surrenders, because that look on Marc’s face? That determination in his eyes? Dani already knows that he won’t win this battle.

”Okay, see you tomorrow then,” he says, hugging Marc for a final kiss. Really final this time.

And while he drives the car back to the garage, he can’t stop shaking his head in disbelief.

_Well, that’s going to make for an interesting night then. I wonder if they plot ways to get rid of me already._

_You think I'd leave your side baby_  
_You know me better than that_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> _By your side_ , Sade


	26. Here is the House

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Dani-chapter ♥ ♥ ♥  
> I'll be gone for a few days and I'll miss you :) This is extra-long, sort off a remuneration I hope?

_With or without words_  
_I’ll confide everything_

It’s been a while since he’s done this, since he has “met the parents”. This time must be the most difficult though. Jorge and Vale mocking him with their ideas of how Julia and Roser will be plotting ways to kill him isn’t helping much. Or not at all. He knows they’re trying to help, want to cheer him up, but it’s not working. Last time, when he was introduced to the _inlaws_ , he at least had something to offer. Now, with his recent past, he feels rather worthless, at least in the eyes of his boyfriend’s parents. 

”Hey, you okay?”

Vale sits down next to him in the afternoon sun, nudges his side. He lights the older man’s cigarette, knowing he’s still struggling with his arm and then shrugs.

”I don’t know. I don’t really think so.”

”You know,” Vale sounds like he’s contemplating something, “I… or we… would never have expected them to react so calmly.”

”Me neither. That’s why I’m scared. It does sound too good to be true, right?”

”I don’t know. Maybe they just don’t want to lose Marc, you know? If he had to choose, I think they know he’d pick you.”

”What makes you think that?” Dani stares at Vale, the older smiling warmly.

”I just know him. I hurt my arm, not my eyes, Dani.”

He’ll need a while to digest that. Maybe a long while. There’s a lot of responsibility hiding in there and Dani isn’t sure he could deal with standing between Marc and his family. 

Vale lets him go, or rather, sends him away, earlier than usual, tells him to go pick up some flowers. It seems like the right thing to do and Dani ends up with a decent bouquet of spring flowers, nicely arranged by a young blonde, who seemed to be flirting with him, desperate to find out if the flowers were for his girlfriend. He lets her down easy, not going into any details. Before he leaves the small store, his eyes fall on the roses and he wonders how these things work in gay relationships. Should he still bring a flower when he picks up Marc for that graduation thing? Or is that for girlfriends only? Is he presuming that in their relationship, he’d be the boy and Marc the girl? Or is this just a habit because until now, Dani has always been with a woman and roles were defined easily? Part of him is quite sure that some women would kick his ass for some of the things he’s thinking. But he can’t help it and can’t let go, not even when he’s already on his way home.

Picking clothes turns into a nightmare, worse than before their first date that suddenly seems incredibly far away. Meeting the parents had been so far off his mind then, it’s just incredibly how much things changed. How quickly. He’s standing there, surrounded by different shirts and jeans and V-necks, feeling helpless and suddenly realizes that for the first time in his life, he’s fallen head over heels, almost at first sight. Because what he feels for Marc, it’s obvious, unmistakable. His heart jumps when the boy gets close to him, his stomach twists, his pulse races. And he craves to hold Marc. Not necessarily fuck him, which is how it would usual be with someone hot, but also to hold him, kiss him, wake up next to him.

Postponing the clothing debate, he stumbles into the shower, tries to clear his head a bit. It’s getting a bit too late over all of his brooding he realizes and then actually has to rush a bit. The final result, with black slacks and a grey shirt, they’re okay, he thinks. He opts against a tie or jacket, as both, Vale and Jorge, had told him a suit would be too much. A normal coat will work just fine then, he hopes. He almost forgets about the flowers and then almost trips over his bag on his way out and if his current state of clumsy is any indication for the rest of the night, it won’t be funny at all.

The ride to Marc’s house is both too short and too long at the same time. Too short because part of him would rather not quite be executed yet. Too long because even if it’s been barely more than 24 hours, he’s missed Marc. They’d exchanged a handful of texts over the day, as he’s asked Marc for advice on the flower thing, but then Marc had training in the afternoon. And Dani, who wanted to be around, has been picking out flowers and shirts instead. But he’ll surely have another chance at watching Marc ride, so he’s not all that bitter about missing out on that. He could still imagine thousand places he’d rather be right now – under the condition Marc would be there, too. And that’s the thing, the decisive factor. He’d be anywhere if Marc was there and he’d go anywhere to be with him. And that’s kind of beautiful, but mostly, it’s a terrifying thought.

When he rings the doorbell, finger shakier than he’d ever admit, he’s more than relieved to find Marc opening it.

”Hey, missed you,” he says, blushing a bit because did he really just confess he missed him after only a day?

”I missed you, too,” Marc says, closing the heavy wooden door behind them and hugging him from behind, arms tight around Dani’s shoulders.

”You look amazing,” the younger says and Dani steps back and turns around, eyeing him with a somewhat cheeky smile.

”So do you.” And he means it. Oh, how much he means it. Marc is standing there in tight jeans and a red sweater, his hair still damp from the shower and if it wasn’t for their surroundings, Dani’s hands would be under that bright red fabric already and his nose would be buried in Marc’s neck, chasing the scent of just-out-of-the-shower-freshness that still surrounds him.

”Hi Dani, I’m so glad you made it,” Roser comes into the hallway with them, giving him a smile that’s almost genuine.

”Thank you for the invitation,” he replies, a bit stiffly but at least without blushing this time. He holds out the flowers, “Here, I brought these for you. I hope you like them.”

She takes them with a warm thank you, smile turning a bit more genuine and Dani feels Marc’s hand against the small of his back, touch making him shiver.

_That’s how I know you’re special… even here, where I’d rather not even be and feel as far out of place as possible, a single touch of your hand, even through all these layers of fabric, only makes me want you more, makes me forget where we are._

”I think we’re all ready to eat, so I’ll just show you the way,” Marc says, arm going around Dani’s waist now. “Thank you for doing this for me,” the younger whispers, already stirring Dani towards a room.

Dani stops both of them and leans up, one finger running over Marc’s smooth cheek - _did you shave for me, too?_

”Nothing to thank me for, okay? I’m so glad you’re going through this because of me.”

Marc smiles down at him and wow, if Dani wasn’t so blown away in the first place, he’d be now. There’s something so deeply, deeply moving about that shy smile on Marc’s face, that incredulous look in the dark brown eyes, it makes Dani suck in a breath. Makes his knees buckle. 

”Hi Dani, nice to meet you,” Alex’s voice wakes them from their little moment and after he properly introduces himself to the often-mentioned younger brother – according to Vale he’s successfully saving Vale’s brother’s ass at school at the moment and really ruling his class in motocross this season – they enter the dining room. It’s a nice room, nicer than most of Dani’s friends have. With dark wooden furniture, probably some pieces legacies, with light blue walls and flowery curtains and immaculate white porcelain in a modern design. They even have napkins made of real fabric, linen most likely, not paper napkins like Dani knows from home. If at all. His mother would use kitchen paper mostly. And dining room? They have a plastic table in their kitchen. He gulps, as the realization how he doesn’t belong here washes over him. 

”Stop looking shell-shocked, I promise they won’t kill you,” Marc whispers into his ear, arm back around Dani’s waist and pulling him inside.

He lets Marc show him where to sit, nervously tries to work out what to do with his hands, where to look, what to say. Julia comes in a moment later, motioning for him to sit back down when he gets up to take the man’s hand.

His “Hi Dani” doesn’t really sound enthusiastic, but then it’s not like Dani doesn’t understand. He wouldn’t welcome himself in this kind of perfect environment. Roser brings in the food, chicken and vegetables and risotto and if it’s half as good as it smells, Dani feels very embarrassed about the pasta he served Marc. Everybody here has water for dinner, not even wine on offer and Dani forces himself not to dwell on his own ‘home’ too much, where beer and pizza in front of the TV were more the norm. Here though, he gets the feeling this is how they always dine, with forks and knives and quiet conversations about their days at work and at school.

They ask polite questions about how Dani settled, try to incorporate them into their conversations and he’s more than grateful for Alex, who easily gets him and his dad started on a conversation about oil brands and where to get the best fuel around here.

It’s going so well, that he forgets feeling uncomfortable for a while. When he finally realizes how caught up he’s gotten, he catches a look at Roser, who is watching Marc with a soft and this time, also genuine, smile. When Dani turns to face Marc, he apparently makes the younger blush and avert his eyes and well… _has he watching _me_?_

”Uh, I’m sorry but we usually don’t have much dessert, you know… the boys can’t have it anyway, so I hope you’re okay with fruit?”

Roser looks at him, seemingly really concerned about this issue. Dani almost blurts out how he only got dessert maybe on Christmas and then it would be store-bought-icecream or something like that.

”Sure, fruit sounds perfect,” he says instead, Roser already getting up and Julia following her on her heels, still not quite capable to understand that _this_ is real. Not a TV commercial, but for these four, this is real life. He shakes his head slightly, apparently chuckling audibly.

”What’s funny?” Marc’s elbow nudges his ribs, a hand squeezing his knee under the table.

”Nothing,” Dani turns to stare into Marc’s eyes, finding them fixed on him already, “nothing. Just… this is so nice, so, so nice.”

”Huh?”

Dani shrughs.

”I guess if you ever meet my family, you’ll understand.”

”If? Not when?”

He doesn’t like the doubt that’s creeping into Marc’s voice, quickly squeezes the other’s hand, still resting on his knee.

”Well, if you feel up to it, we’ll do it. You’ll get to decide, okay?”

”Do you want a coffee, Dani?” Julia’s voice comes from the kitchen.

Dani declines politely, not needing anything to make him giddier or shakier tonight. Alex gets him started on a conversation about football teams next and he barely registers how Marc is unusually quiet all night long and how this Alex has to be the most mature fourteen year old he’s met in his life. Plus, a perfect host. His parents must be proud. Their parents. Both turned out more than okay. From the corner of his eye, he sees Marc expertly eat an apple with a fork and a knife. Dani frowns at the plate of fruit, wonders what he can take and actually eat in style. He ends up with some grapes and strawberries and hopes that they’re not all watching him, immediately realizing how he has no clue how to do these things.

It gets terrifyingly awkward after dinner though, with Alex excusing him to his room and saying goodnight and Marc’s parents stammering around, Roser explaining him where to find towels and damned, Marc is still not speaking, just staring at him with those disbelieving eyes.

”Okay, maybe Marc can show you his room then?” Julia says eventually, giving his son a pointed look that Dani doesn’t miss. And finally, Marc seems to get back from his daydreams to them, hastily mumbling an excuse and then pulling him along, up the stairs.

”Night mom,” he shouts, almost on top of the stairs, before turning towards Dani, suddenly looking a few inches shorter and adorably shy. “It’s, uh, this door.”

He steps inside, almost solemnly, feeling like Marc is quite literally letting him into his life a fair bit more in this moment. The room is somehow exactly how Dani would have imagined it, small and neat, with light furniture, wardrobe, desk, an overflowing bookshelf. He glances over the titles, surprised to find a fair share of not-average-classics like Salter and Kundera in there, along with a few books on science and engineering. _Of course you’d read Hawking for fun._

”Music?” Marc is holding up his phone and a small box and Dani nods. “Is something like electronic or chillout okay for now? We have to keep it quiet anyway, I think Alex is still doing homework.”

Marc is blushing and looks so helpless, it’s beyond cute and Dani hardly holds back a chuckle.

”Sure,” he says, his attention now on the trophies on the window sill, “That’s a lot of prizes,” he says absentmindedly, holding up one that looks especially nice. _1st Place, North Cup 2000_ Dani calculates, figuring how Marc has been seven then. He’s not really surprised. _Sure you’d have won. I wouldn’t be surprised if you had one of those for every year since then._ He puts the trophy back, finds that Marc has hooked the phone to the speakers and is now sitting on his bed, still looking terrified.

With soft sounds from Depeche mode in the background, Dani moves to sit down next to Marc, a hand on the younger man’s knee.

”What’s so scary? Shouldn’t I be the one who’s worried? It’s me they’re going to kill in his sleep after all.”

”I- sorry,” Marc’s head drops to his shoulder and Dani can’t help feeling that it belongs there, always, “this is so new. Do you know that feeling when you’ve wanted something for so long, basically forever, and then you finally have it and you’re so overwhelmed and scared that it’s not real? That you’ll mess it all up and break it?”

Dani gulps, sees and feels Marc’s fingers rubbing patterns on the fabric of his pants, shivers under the touch. _Oh yes, I know. Believe me, I know so well._ He wraps an arm around Marc, pulls him closer, his own body shivering with need, fear and joy at the same time. He inhales Marc’s scent, rubs his cheek over the cotton of Marc’s sweater.

”I think I do,” he whispers eventually. 

”I feel so pathetic, so small when you’re here. You know, you have an apartment by yourself and I have… well, a childhood room, with a single bed and my brother living on the other side of the wall. It’s not the same.”

”You mean because I won’t be fucking you into your mattress tonight?” Dani chucks his shoes and leans down, pulling Marc with him and nuzzling against the taller man’s chest.

”Mhm. And because I need my parents’ approval for stuff. But yeah, because of that, too. We could have done more at your place. I don’t even have a TV in here.”

”I… It’s important that you get along with your parents, you know? I want that, I’d never want you to have a family like mine. And… I don’t need a TV when I can talk to you.”

”Hm.” Marc laces their fingers and presses up against him, hips bucking into his groin slightly. “But this…”

”We’ll have plenty of time for _this_. Later. On another weekend. For tonight, just being here with you and talking to you is perfectly fine.”

”Okay,” Marc mumbles after a while, not sounding convinced.

”You don’t think I’m just spending time with you for sex, do you?”

Instead of a reply, he only gets a shrug and it breaks Dani’s heart a little that Marc thinks of him, of them, this way.

”I’m not, okay? This is not just sex. Well, at least for me it isn’t. I want this, us, to work. Like, in the long run and with everything, dating, talking, having fun together, doing boring stuff like groceries together and yeah, fucking each other senseless. A lot. But I want the whole deal. And I’d rather go without sex for a night if that can help settle things with your parents, because that’s going to be damned important if we want this to last. And we both want that, right?”

He still doesn’t get a reply. Not a spoken one anyway. What he does get is a younger boyfriend all over him, kissing him deeply without warning. _Okay, I think that means we agree on this relationship. Finally._

Dani breaks their kiss when his pants start to hurt from being too tight and he’s running out of oxygen. They lie there with there foreheads touching for a bit, eyes locked. Dani’s fingers are exploring Marc’s side under his hoodie, occasional making the other chuckle a bit.

"Why did you spend the night at Jorge's?" Dani asks later, something he's been wondering about for a while now.

"I- I was afraid you'd be angry and Vale is still sick... so I thought, if anyone understands, Jorge would. You know, his outing didn't go so well? His father never spoke to him again. I hope you're okay with that? Jorge was really understanding. And he made me talk to you. I'm not close to him, but he's a good guy. Even Vale would always agree to that."

"Sure," Dani dives in for another kiss, tries to keep it more chaste this time. Admittedly, with limited success.

”Maybe we should just brush our teeth and go to bed? Talk some more?”

Dani nods and this is kind of nice he thinks, standing at the sink with each other, brushing their teeth and flirting with each other in the bathroom mirror. They’re dressed down to their boxers already and both visibly aroused and Dani thinks he hasn’t been turned on this easily since his own early teens. 

”Bed,” he says, putting his toothbrush back into his bag. Marc pulls it back out, puts it in the same holder as his own, staring Dani’s reflection down in the mirror. It’s a loaded gesture, one that means a lot to him and maybe melts his heart a little. He nods, leaving the toothbrush where Marc put it and then lets the younger pull him back into the bedroom, hurrying through the hallway. After all, Dani is not too eager to have Roser or Julia see him in his boxers. Leave alone with the bulge he’s currently showing.

Once they’re back on Marc’s bed, this time curled up around each other under the sheets, they don’t really talk. Instead, they giggle, tickle and wrestle and both try to rub the other in the right spot. It’s the sweetest torture, Dani figures, having to stay reasonably quiet, stifling the laughter and the moans that want out so badly, fighting the urge to just pull of Marc’s boxers and have his way with the boy. They’re beginning to sweat already and Marc looks beautiful, face flushed and hair ruffled, smiling widely after he just managed to make Dani moan involuntarily, his hand playing with Dani’s balls through his boxers. Dani retorts by sucking a big bruise on Marc’s collarbone and this, whatever they’re trying to do here, is going to go to hell, he thinks. Their eyes meet and Marc’s pupils are blown, lips swollen. They kiss each other with a growl, Dani sliding on top of Marc, hip between Marc’s legs. Boxers are wriggled away in a hurry and when their naked erections rub over each other, Dani barely stifles a yelp by biting his hand. 

The younger presses him close with his ankles against the back of Dani’s thighs and they rut against each other like horny teenagers do, their kiss swallowing most of each other’s moans. They move measuredly and it’s not exactly comfortable, not perfect, but beautiful in its own way, Marc so close to him, Marc’s face unguarded and so obviously needy. Needy for _him_ , something Dani has no idea why he even deserves it but that certainly blows his mind. 

He comes first, biting Marc’s shoulder this time to muffle the noises that come out of his throat. Marc follows eventually, Dani’s hand finishing him off gently. He whines into Dani’s neck when he comes, nails drawing blood from Dani’s shoulder blades. And then, both of them panting and splayed out on their backs, Dani just starts to giggle like a schoolgirl. _Maybe falling in love is some kind of youth elixir?_

”What’s funny?” Marc moves, his head now resting on Dani’s chest and Dani’s fingers automatically reach for the messy black hair, fingers running over the other’s scalp.

”Just… that wasn’t exactly talking, right?”

”Mhm. You started it though.”

”Nah, you started with the rubbing. I’ll blame it all on you. Should we secretly change the sheets tomorrow so your mom doesn’t find out about the stains?”

”No need. I do my own laundry.” Marc sounds indignant and well, Dani hadn’t expected that.

They rest in silence for a bit, only the ticking of Marc’s alarm clock and their breathing audible in the room It feels like he's home, which is strange, considering how Marc's parents probably feel about him. But here, next to Marc, Dani feels so much at peace and at ease, it's like he's arrived where he belongs.

”Why?” Marc asks out of the blue, propping himself up on his elbows now and staring right into Dani’s eyes.

”Why what?” Dani asks back, lost in Marc’s gaze already, captivated by the two most beautiful and mysterious eyes he’s ever seen.

”Why are you with me? You said it’s not sex. It can’t be money. And well, we don’t know each other well enough for it to be character. So why?”

Dani hears the urgency in Marc’s voice, feels a bit overrun. But he knows exactly why, knows that he hasn’t chosen and that it’s not about any of the things Marc mentioned. It’s too early, he knows that. It’s also totally crazy. And a bit impossible. But most of all, it’s the truth and Dani figures he owes Marc that much.

”Because I love you.”

 _So we stay home_  
_And I’m by your side_  
_And you know_  
_What’s going on inside_  
_Inside my heart_  
_Inside this house_  
_And I just want to_  
_Let it out for you_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> _Here is the house_ , Depeche Mode


	27. Viens Tout Contre Moi

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Casey-chapter ♥
> 
> Sorry about the delay!

**Elsewhere during the same night…**

_Luca: How did dinner go?_

_Alex: Is that you asking or does Vale want to know?_

_Luca: Vale. Sorry ;)_

_Alex: He’s actually asking you to ask me to spy on Marc and Dani?_

_Luca: Big brother mode?? ;) I think Marc is like some sacred little prodigy for him._

_Alex: LOL. True. Tell him it went okay. Everybody is still alive and nobody died from embarrassement._

_Luca: Okay, I will. (Really though? Or do you just not want to worry him?_

_Alex: Nah, really. Actually, for them, it seems to have gone VERRRRY well. The noises from Marc’s room… just ewww :/_

_Luca: No kidding?_

_Alex: Sadly, nope._

***

”So, what do you think of him?” Roser leans back against her husband, both of them cuddled up on the couch, tv only running for some background noise.

”He seems very nice. Very polite. He’s an excellent mechanic.” She can hear the hesitancy in Julia's voice though.

”He’s been in prison.”

”I know. But he deserves a second chance, right?” It sounds like Julia needs the encouragement even more than she does right now, like he needs to convince himself that it’s okay.

”I don’t know,” Roser hesitates for a moment, “Well, yeah, he does. But why with our son?”

”I think,” Julia sighs, “because he makes him happy. You noticed the way his eyes were lighting up tonight, right?”

”Mhm,” she nods, “I did. And you’re right, he’s polite and nice and everything I could ask for. But somehow, it’s difficult to trust him, you know? I trust Marc, but I don’t really trust Dani yet. I don’t know Dani yet.”

”I know. And I hate to be so prejudiced, so single minded about this, but I really-“ Julia sighs, holding her tighter, “I really don’t like the idea of Marc with a criminal. And I can’t stop seeing Dani as a criminal. No matter how ‘normal’ he seemed tonight.”

”It’s not that he’s a man, right?”

”No. No, actually not at all. I- well, I think I had an idea that Marc might… well… not be into girls so much.”

”I know what you mean. Like with that Nora, no chemistry whatsoever. And she is such a beautiful girl. So we agree that it’s not about him being gay, right?”

”No. But you know, Dani is not quite… I don’t know… it seems he doesn’t have the background Marc does, you know?”

And that’s where it hits her, where Roser bursts into giggles and just can’t stop laughing. Wiping a tear from her eyes, she sits up and turns to face her husband, who’s looking at here with a frown.

”Sorry,” she says slightly breathless, “but you know what we’ve become? We sound just like my parents.”

Julia still looks clueless and after catching her breath, she continues, “You know, when I first brought you home, I overheard my mother later that night. And that’s the exact thing she said. She said _’oh, I don’t know about that Julia-guy, he’s really not up to Roser’s standards, is he? I mean, with his poor background and all’.”_

The memory makes her smile fondly and Julia, after an instant of puzzlement, blushes deep red.

”Maybe we do owe them a chance,” he says, taking her hands and pressing a peck to her lips and she nods, wrapping herself around him. "After all, I turned out okay, right?"

”Oh yes," she chuckles, "I think we do. And you turned out very nice. Thanks to my education of course.”

***

”So, you think they killed them already?”

Aleix eyes him curiously and Jorge shakes his head, chuckling.

”Nah, Vale texted me, apparently it’s been better than expected.”

And really, it’s not quite what Jorge expected. He can’t fight the little surge of jealousy, the want to have parents who’d react this way. Or… mostly, a father who’d react this way. Who’d make an effort.

”Huh. It feels a bit like the Jorge and Roser I know have been replaced by identical looking clones? I mean, really, I’d never have thought they’d let Marc have such a distraction in his life. Leave alone someone with Dani’s history.” Aleix refills their glasses with wine and shakes his head. “Oh wait, they know about Dani, right?”

”Yeah,” Jorge nods, still very impressed by that fact, by Dani’s courage, “they do. And they still… well, at least try, to understand. What I don’t think they told them yet is that Dani is supposed to go to Marc’s remaining races, replacing Vale.”

”Seriously? Vale is okay with that?” Aleix almost knocks a glass over and stares at him, gaping.

”Yeah, he’s kind of busy, you know? He has family, it seems.”

Another one of these things Jorge can barely grasp, his old companion seemingly settling down. With something close to wife and kid.

”Wow,” Aleix mumbles, sounding absentminded, “never thought I’d see the day where Vale lets go of the genius. Or where he puts anything else before motocross.”

_Me neither._

”Strange, right? But it seems he found someone who’s worth it.” Jorge downs his wine, stares out of his kitchen window. _I thought I’d met that person, too. But I guess Ricky and I have never been meant to be. After all, it seems that the true couples get over the obstacles life throws at them somehow._

All the contemplating isn’t leading anywhere though and Jorge knows that. He sighs, wondering if he’ll be the last of all of them to ever find that special someone. “How are things going with Laura?”

***

”Vale, hey! It’s been a while since you’ve called me.”

”Hey… uhm-”

”Yes?”

”You seriously invited us to your wedding.”

”Uh… yes.”

”And you’d actually want me there? Or her?”

”I wouldn’t have sent the invitation if I didn’t.”

”What about Adriana?”

”Don’t worry, she’s okay with it.”

”Casey… I- I feel flattered, I guess? But I don’t think it’s a good idea.”

”Consider it a peace offering? Or an apology?”

”What would you have to apologize for?”

”Well… I think… I’m sorry I made you look like an ass. You know? I ran around telling everyone how horrible you’ve been about breaking up with me and I _know_ how hard Jorge was on you after that. And now that I have Arianna, I realize that you were right all along. And you were honest. And I should have given you much more credit for that. For not holding on to me or us but letting me go and letting me find the one who makes me look at her the same way you look at Linda.

***

”Vale, did you actually ask Luca to spy on Marc? You’ve got to be- Vale?“

She finds him on their balcony, sitting on the floor in the faint light of a solar lamp, holding a familiar looking card.

”Hey, are you okay?” She sits down next to him, head on his shoulder and once again realizing how much she loves being close to him. How she always feels home when she’s next to him, safe. Loved.

”Yeah,” he replies eventually, hoarseness in his voice betraying his words.

”You want to go to the wedding?”

”I don’t know. Do you think it would be okay?”

”I don’t know Casey, Vale, but I don’t think he’d have asked us to come if he didn’t want us there, right?” She feels him nod and gently takes the card from his hands, lacing their fingers instead. “See? I think we could go.”

”Yeah,” he mumbles, takes a deep breath, “yeah, I guess you’re right.”

”I’m always right,” she nudges his side with a chuckle, hoping to lighten the mood. It’s not quite working yet though and Vale just lets go of her hand, lights himself a cigarette.

”Adriana will be in seventh month already. He told me, on the phone. He said he’s seen the baby already, you know? On pictures and on the computer screen.”

That warmth in Vale’s voice, the obvious awe and amazement over these things, it makes her shiver from head to toe, because she thinks she’s catching up now. Slowly getting to the core of Vale’s sudden pensiveness.

”You-“ Linda laces their fingers again, rubs her thumb over Vale’s wrist, “you want that, too, right?”

He’s quiet. For a long moment, one that feels like an eternity while Linda’s heart seems to be pounding its way out of her chest.

”I… might. Not quite now. But I don’t know, it’s not as scary as it used to sound, you know? I mean, I used to be terrified of things like that. Weddings. Babies. But when Casey told me about Adriana’s pregnancy, about the things they do and what he’s seen… I think I’ve never heard him that happy before.”

 _On s'est bien aimés, on s'est meme fait quelques promesses_  
_Mais fallait pas chercher l'amour à d'autres adresses_

**A night one year ago…**

_”I love you,” Casey mumbles, nuzzling his face into the crook of Vale’s neck. It’s a night like every other now, one where he’s held safe in Vale’s arms, his body pressed against his boyfriend’s. He feels the heat of Vale’s skin, feels his heartbeat, smells his aftershave. Usually, these moments, after long days, are the best moments for him. The ones where life is perfect and where Casey thinks he’s finally found his place, his home. Tonight, it’s different. Tonight, instead of feeling warm and comforted, there’s a shiver going down his spine and an uncomfortable twisting in his guts. It’s not even that Vale has done anything to make him feel bad. Or insecure. Vale had been as perfect as ever. Actually, he’d been just the right mix of gently and passionate, they’d made out, made love and then kissed lazily and Casey should be content and sated and happy. Instead, he can’t forget that look. That one look Vale had given the girl at the track today, that one instant where Vale’s entire face had lit up in a way that it usually only does when he looks at his bike. It’s made Casey’s blood freeze and his knees shaky. Because Vale, the man he loves and whom he thought loved him back, has never looked at him that way. Not once._

_”I love you, too,” Vale mumbles next to him, pulling him even closer. But tonight, Casey can’t help the feeling that Vale sounds a little distant. Too distant._

_On s'est aimés souvent trop mal, souvent trop loin,_  
_Mais c'était bien quand on dansait tu sais,_  
_On va pleurer je sais,_  
_Mais on saura qu'on s'est aimés..._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> _Viens tout contre moi_ , Patrick Bruel


	28. Nights in White Satin

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ♥  
> Flying away tomorrow, so please be patient if the next update takes a bit longer again. ♥

_And I love you_

_Because I love you_

The words are still ringing in Marc's ears, mixing with the sound of his blood rushing and his heart thundering. His world has truly stopped turning for a moment, while his brain works on processing what just happened.

_You’re here. In my bed. Naked. And we’re totally sticky because we did things I never thought I’d be doing. Much less in this bed. With Alex listening. And wow, you look beautiful. Amazing. I love your hair this way, when it’s sticking out in all directions. It’s cute when you blush. And your eyes. God, I love your eyes and I can’t imagine that there’s anyone who doesn’t fall for you. Not when you look at them like THIS. How could anyone ever hurt you? And how can I see in your eyes that they did? Why does it seem like there’s always that last, hidden, wounded and sad layer of you somewhere down there in that dark brown? God, I really love your eyes. And I love how you shaved for me. Even if I love your stubble, too. But it’s so nice to know that you’d do that. For me. ME. Because you love me and that’s amazing and unbelievable and wow, you really said it. Loud. To my face. I should say something, right? I think I’ve been staring for too long. I think- oh hell, since when do I ramble when I THINK?_

”I-“ Marc starts, but Dani’s finger cover his lips.

”You don’t have to say it back, you know? I just-“

Shaking his head with a smile, he takes Dani’s finger, kisses it and then laces their fingers, hands on the pillow between them.

”Let me… explain, okay?” Dani nods and Marc keeps staring into the older man’s eyes, keeps holding his hand and really wonders how Dani hasn’t been here a few months ago. Because right now, it seems that Dani has been a part of his life since forever. “Okay, I… I don’t really have anything to compare this to, you know? You’re my first, in all kinds of aspects,” Marc gulps, bites his lips, stares at Dani who returns the look equally intently, “and so I don’t really _know_ what I’m doing here most of the times.”

He feels Dani squeeze his hand and sees the older smile and it’s all the encouragement he needs to continue.

”But even if I don’t know what I’m doing I hope that I do _know_ what I feel. And I feel dizzy when you’re around, in a good way, because you cause me gooseflesh and make my stomach flutter and because I can’t stop smiling when I look at you and that’s amazing. And I feel like I’ve known you forever, like you’ve been here forever. So, yeah… I guess what I’m trying to say is that I love you, too. A lot.”

There’s an instant where he thinks Dani’s mouth just drops open and then he’s pretty sure that Dani’s eyes are getting watery. Which in turn makes his eyes watery. And that’s just… all kinds of sappy and mushy but somehow also beautiful.

With a content sigh, he reaches for the nightstand, turns off the remaining light and then cuddles up against his still speechless boyfriend, head in the crook of Dani’s neck and arms wrapped around Dani’s torso.

”Marc?” Dani’s voice is soft and a bit hoarse and it sends shivers through Marc’s body, because he feels the vibrations against his own skin.

”Hmm?”

”Goodnight, babe.”

”Goodnight, Dani.” Apparently, Dani is done with being shell-shocked. Marc feels Dani’s arms go around his waist, holding him tight. He’s not sure he’ll ever be able to go to bed without this anymore. Probably not. Which could be interesting. After all, he realizes, he hasn’t even talked to Dani about university. But tonight, he doesn’t want to spoil the mood and so he pushes the nagging thoughts away with determination and allows himself to drift away into a peaceful, dreamless sleep.

_Yes, I love you_

When he wakes up, the first thing Marc notices is that it’s hot, incredibly hot. Probably, because he’s not just wrapped in his sheets but also in a little bundle of heat that’s called Dani and that’s turned into an octopus overnight, limbs tangled with Marc’s everywhere. The second thing he notices is that sleepy Dani seems to be even stronger than awake Dani, as there’s seemingly no way he can disentangle himself from the older. The third thing he notices is, well, something decidedly hard and pressing against the small of his back. He has a matching thing in his lap. And that makes everything even hotter. Makes him sweaty. 

_Vale said I should just try things._

Marc thinks this might be the moment to do just that. Not that he has any idea about what he’s going to do. Only the limited experience of their previous actions and usually Dani had been guiding them through everything. And Marc still has a list of unanswered questions in his head. Ranging from _Dani shaves _everywhere_ - should I do that, too?_ to _If something feels good when I do it to myself, will it work for Dani, too?_. Plus, Vale never did explain that blowjob thing. And Marc really, really would like to know what’s it with Dani and bottoming. Not that it’s an issue. Still, somehow he wouldn’t mind finding how things feel from that perspective.

For now though, Dani’s still mostly asleep and Marc feels just the right kind of curious and adventurous to try something, even if they’re too close to Alex and his parents, even if they’ll have to be quiet again.

So he carefully moves his hips, starts grinding back and it’s not long before he hears Dani moan sleepily, feels the older press even closer against his back. _This seems to work just fine then…_

Marc keeps the movements up, finding a rhythm that makes Dani moan a bit louder. Eventually, when he’s been doing the rubbing for a bit, a clumsy hand takes hold of his hips and keeps them in place.

”God, Marc, you can’t do that here,” Dani mumbles into his neck, but the way he’s rubbing against and between Marc’s cheeks shows that he has no intention to stop this from happening.

And Dani doesn’t stop him when he turns both of them around until Dani is on his back and Marc can cuddle up against him, head on his chest and a, now miraculously lubed, hand around his dick, stroking him the way he’d like to be touched. He watches Dani’s body closely, studies how the muscles in his stomach clench and losen with his movements and how his hips start bucking up from the mattress. He also memorizes the sounds, at least those Dani can’t hold back. Occasional small moans, a few desperate gasps. A couple of whines when Marc doesn’t touch firmly enough. Marc concentrates, focuses, considers this one of the things he has to train and get perfect at. And he watches as Dani comes, a growl audible above him and Dani’s fingers clenching hard in the muscles of Marc’s shoulders. He watches the thick drops of Dani’s come on the smooth, tan skin of Dani’s sixpack and he wouldn’t be himself if he didn’t just go for it, didn’t just start licking it all up.

”Marc, you can’t-“ The rest ends in an unintelligible little whine as Marc kisses along Dani’s shaft.

Finally, he scrambles up for a kiss, Dani answering his unspoken question whether or not he’d like that by simply opening his mouth and deepening things. And Dani pulls him close now, a hand finishing him off while he whines into their kiss. To Marc, it seems that every time they do this, it’s a little more intense, a little more perfect, a little more addictive. And he’s sure he hasn’t seen fireworks during his climax before. This time, he does.

When he’s regained his senses, he’s still wrapped in Dani’s arms and they’re terribly sticky now.

”Shower?” He croaks and feels Dani nod against his shoulder.

”Mhm. Shower. And as much as I appreciate it, don’t wake me like that in your parents’ house again. Or I’ll bite my tongue off trying not to scream.”

”Noted.” Marc giggles anyway, liking the idea that he’s managed to catch Dani by surprise.

”That was really fantastic though.”

”Mhm. I think so, too.”

He allows himself a last minute or so of peace and comfort, before he pushes the sheets away and sits up. Then, just when he wants to get up and pull Dani along, his eyes fall onto Dani’s body, splayed out over his childhood bed. _Like you belong here. And you do._ Marc’s eyes roam over the chiseled muscles, the beautiful skin, the gorgeous face that’s looking up at him questioningly now.

He reaches out with one finger, rubbing over Dani’s morning stubble. It’s almost painful, he thinks, how much he wants Dani. In all kinds of ways and forever and as his, only his. He’s sure he won’t give this up. Not ever.

”Hey, are you still with me?” Dani smiles up at him and Marc stares into the other’s eyes, nodding to himself.

”I really love you.

_Oh, how I love you…_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> _Nights in white satin_ , The Moody Blues


	29. Help (...or Dani and Linda buy a suit)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this took longer than I though! My relationship with (non-work-)Wifi is a bit fragile here it seems :/ But anyway, here it is ♥  
> Thank you for all the amazing feedback, I'll try to reply right away ♥

All in all, Dani ponders on his way to work, the day with the Marquez-family could have been worse. He’d still suggest for their next date to be at Dani’s place. Because getting up with Marc and sharing a shower is nice – when they do it at Dani’s place. At Marc’s house, everything feels awkward, Dani thinks. From bumping into a blushing Alex in the hallway, which, _great_ , means they hadn’t been as quiet as they hoped, to sitting at the breakfast table with all five of them evading each other’s gaze. It’s not making things easier that it’s going to be a race weekend for Marc. The first where Dani is supposed to take over the mechanics for Vale. And as far as he knows, Marc’s parents aren’t in the picture one bit yet. They both chicken out of telling, Marc convincing Vale over the phone to take on the job. And seriously, Dani couldn’t be more grateful. It’s a bit of a shame, having to go when it’s actually Jorge’s birthday and all. On the other hand, spending a weekend with Marc sounds perfect, too.

They have to say goodbye in front of Marc’s parents, with a chaste kiss and Marc will spend the next two days at a Dutch track, training with Pol, Aleix and Emilio. Dani knows he shouldn’t be jealous, knows neither of them is a rival. Still, something about being with Marc is damned addictive and he misses them the second he’s left the house already. So even if he’s not jealous in the way that he suspects anything could happen between Marc and anyone else, he _is_ more than jealous that they get to spend time with Marc – while Dani himself doesn’t. It’s weird how someone who wasn’t a part of his life three month ago now has taken over pretty much all of it. With a blink of his long lashes and a smile that melts Dani’s heart each and every time.

He’s the last to arrive at work and when he enters the garage, it’s drop dead silent and both, Jorge and Vale stare at him expectantly.

”Uh, hi?” He’s not really sure what to say. And he squirms under their gazes, because Dani’s not used to this, not used to coworkers who are somehow involved in and informed about every detail of his private life.

”You’re still alive,” Jorge states, smirking at him.

”Barely?” Dani smiles at them, realizing that there’s something nice about people who care around. And beneath the joking and the teasing, he knows that neither Jorge or Vale would want any harm, doesn’t doubt that they’re genuinely interested.

”So, how did it go?” Vale hands him a coffee and watches him, still eagerly, expectantly.

”It’s been okay, I guess. I’m here, nobody died, nobody yelled, so I’m tempted to call it a success.”

”And you still need me to ask for permission to spend the weekend with your lover?” Vale calling Marc his lover is... well... awkward?

Dani blushes slightly and looks away, avoiding Vale’s smirk.

”Don’t worry, I’m just teasing," the older says with a chuckle, Jorge snorting in the background, "But I’m a bit disappointed you only called it an “okay”-night.”

Dani jerks his head around, looking dumbfounded.

”Well,” the older explains with a devious grin, “rumor has it you guys had a lot of fun last night.”

Dani turns red as a lobster and wishes the ground would swallow him. So not only has Alex heard them, no, apparently he’d also informed God-knows-who about it. _Yikes._

Jorge bursts out into a fit of laughter, before excusing himself towards the office. Dani can still hear him giggle when he’s already upstairs. And Vale? The vicious bastard is still smirking at him, arms crossed in front of his chest, eyebrows raised expectantly.

”So?”

”Alex?” Not that Dani would need the confirmation, but he doesn’t know what else to say.

”Yup. I had Luca check on you guys and ask him.”

Dani thinks he should be a tiny bit offended by his boss spying on him. But he can’t help thinking that it’s somehow cute, how the older is obviously curious and worried about Marc. And maybe even a bit about Dani. Which is more than Dani is used to, especially from a boss.

”Cigarette?” Vale is clasping his shoulder and Dani nods, still feeling off-kilter.

”So,” Vale’s voice has lost the viciousness now, turned back to genuine, friendly concern, “are you okay?”

Dani nods, leaning back against the wall in their usual spot, staring after the little clouds of smoke they’re making.

”Yeah, I think I am. A bit overwhelmed, but mostly okay.”

”They’re really nice people, both of them, but they’re always worried about Marc,” Vale says eventually.

”I know. I understand. I’d worry about him, too. He’s pretty special.”

Vale chuckles next to him.

”Oh, he definitely is. But I think they must believe that you are, too, because otherwise they wouldn’t have let you out in one piece. And I promise I’ll convince them to give you guys your weekend getaway.”

”Yeah, well, thanks,” Dani stammers, blushing again. Because he should be old enough to ask by himself… but well, Marc’s parents, as nice as they tried to be to him, they still scare him a lot.

”I’m sure it’ll be okay. Have you decided about graduation?”

”Marc has decided, I think. It seems I’m going.”

”You’re not sure?”

”No, I mean… I’m sure I’m going if he wants me to. And it seems he wants it, so yeah, I will. I just- I don’t know, you’re from here… is it really going to be okay? With his classmates and teachers and everyone at the school?”

Vale doesn’t answer immediately and when Dani turns his face to look at him, the older is staring into the sky absentmindedly.

”You know,” he says eventually, “I can’t really say. When Jorge and Ricky came out, It was a lot of noise and hassle. When Casey and I dated though, nobody seemed to care much. And I have no idea why it’s been different, it was around the same time. You’ll just have to go and see, I think.”

”What if it doesn’t go well? I’m not asking for myself, you know? I don’t even know the people. But what about Marc? Do you really think he’d be okay if people openly told him they hate gays? If someone called him a fag?”

”Marc? You don’t have to worry about him, that I think I can promise you. You know Marc, don’t you? He wouldn’t change a thing about himself just because of what others think. And he wouldn’t care about that one bit.”

Of course, Vale is right and Dani knows Marc. And kind of knows that Marc truly isn’t the type to worry about these things. Still, it feels so good to hear it from Vale, to have confirmation from someone who’s so much closer to the boy.

”Well, I guess you’re right.”

”I’m sure I’m right,” Vale says, the smirk back in place. “So, now that we’ve settled that part, do you have a suit?”

And that question, or rather Dani’s mumbled reply about how he doesn’t really have one and isn’t sure where to get one around here is what leads Dani to spend his afternoon in a completely unpredicted way. At least, he’d never expected to be here, in Vale’s car with Linda taking him to some bigger city over the border where she’s going to help him pick out a suit.

He feels a bit intimidated by her, to be honest, because she _is_ the most beautiful girl he’s seen. It says a lot about Marc’s power over him that he’s still not even considering the slightest move on her, that he’s not even imagining anything with her. But still, her whole appearance, her charm, it’s kind of overwhelming and for a while they drive in silence. Dani doesn’t really know what to say anyway, because he hasn’t spoken to her much at all until now.

”So, you finished university?” It’s the best ice-breaker he can come up with right now and the silence between them was beginning to feel uncomfortable.

”Mhm,” she manoeuvers the car through another one of those roundabouts that they seem to have here everywhere before she continues, “yeah, I just turned in my thesis. Actually, I’ve been at the same school that Marc will go to.”

”Marc is going to university?” Dani’s heart plummets through the floor and it probably shows in his voice.

”Sorry, you didn’t know?” She throws him a concerned look.

”No, I guess it hasn’t come up,” he mumbles, feeling a bit resigned, “how does he want to deal with that though? I thought he’s doing pro next season?”

”He is. I think he made some agreement that he’s doing winter semesters only and races full time in summer. No idea if it’s manageable, but if anyone can do both at the same time, I’d suggest him,” she says with a chuckle and yeah, Dani thinks, if anyone, then Marc could do that.

”You think he’ll move away?” He asks after a while, his heart clenching at the mere thought.

”I don’t know,” she shrugs, “most people do. But it’s not that far, it’s one hour for each way and I guess he’ll want to be here a lot for training anyway.”

They fall silent again and Dani spends the rest of the way hanging after his thoughts, wondering what Marc would do, move or not. And whether or not Marc would have much time left then at all. How he’d be even less than enough once Marc came up with some college degree and Dani himself would still have pretty much no educational background.

”Stop worrying, I can hear you think,” Linda says with a broad smile once she’s parked them on a huge parking lot in the middle of some shopping district, “Marc will have plenty of time. He’s not really challenged by academics, in contrast to us mere mortals.”

She drags Dani along, heading for stores that he’s never heard of and hopes he can afford. In the back of his head, he still wonders just how much of a genius the boy he picked up really is.

He forgets about his newly-risen problems as soon as Linda starts picking out clothes though, because she keeps hurrying him back and forth relentlessly, makes him try at least a dozen suits that all look the same to him before he’s standing in front of her and sees her eyes lighten up almost dangerously.

”That’s the one. Absolutely. That’s the one we’ll take.”

If he’s honest, Dani isn’t so sure. But a lot of that is probably because the suit is too long. As usual. Clothes aren’t normally made for men Dani’s height. Linda however is already circling him with needles in her mouth, adjusting legs and arms expertly, eyeing him as if he was some art object instead of a person.

The fabric, that much even Dani can tell, is good quality though and at a very reasonable price. So he guesses Vale was right and Linda really knows what she’s doing here. And she’s by far not finished with him, drags him to get a matching light blue shirt, kind of silky, and a tie in the exact same dark grey as the suit. And when he just about thinks he’s made it and wants to start whining about how shopping is harder than motocross, she drags him into a shoe store.

”That was fun,” she says, dumping a dozen bags into the trunk, while Dani is sinking into the passenger seat, nursing a bottle of water and wondering how she’s still so energetic. “I’ll adjust the suit over the weekend, so you can try it on Monday, okay?”

”Yeah, sure.” 

_What is it about women and their secret ability to shop forever without getting tired?_

”It’s really nice of you to do that,” he says after a while, “thank you.”

”Don’t worry about it, I’m glad to be helpful.”

”Well, not all girlfriends would do that, you know? Helping their boyfriend’s employee pick out clothes.”

”Wait, you don’t seriously think I’m doing this for Vale?”

”You’re not?”

”Daniel Pedrosa, you really need to stop making yourself so small all the time. I’m not here because of Vale or because of Marc. I’m here because of you. Because from all I know, you’re a very nice person and because I enjoy talking to you during our morning coffee and because I just like you. YOU. Not anyone else.”

She sounds almost angry and Dani doesn’t know what to say. He’s simply perplexed, overrun. It’s nothing he’d have expected to hear, especially not from Linda. He’d never have thought she even cares about their occasional shared coffee. Much less that apparently, she cares about him. 

”Thank you, Linda,” he mumbles eventually and instead of a reply, she briefly leans over and kisses his cheek.

When he’s blushing, and God, Dani hasn’t blushed this much in his entire life, she chuckles.

”You’re more than welcome, Dani.”

The rest of the drive back is spent in comfortable silence, mostly because Dani is almost drifting away. He regains his full consciousness for a moment when he gets a text from Vale, basically informing him that their arrangements have been approved by Marc’s parents and an avalanche of rocks falls from his chest, but then he’s soon back to dozing off, the nerve-wrecking days taking their toll.

When Linda lets him out in front of his apartment, it’s not even that late, but he still thinks he’ll be heading straight for his bed. He’s barely undressed to his boxers, standing in his bedroom and contemplating the shoes they’ve just bought, when his phone starts buzzing on his nightstand.

His heart jumps in anticipation, even before he knows for sure who is calling him. And when he picks up, sees the name on the display, he’s smiling from ear to ear.

”Marc, hi! I missed you, babe!”

”Hi Dani, missed you, too. How was your day?”

”You won’t believe what I just did.”

”Why? Or what?”

”I bought a suit.”

When he hears Marc squeal happily at the other end of the line, Dani knows that when he’d made up his mind to go to the graduation ceremony, for once, he’d made a good choice. And he’s still curious or worried about Marc not mentioning university to him, but for the night, he’s confident enough to wait with the question until they’re face to face again. For now, he just wants to hear Marc’s voice, wants to keep listening to his boyfriend rambling about training and food and driving and just everything and anything as long as his voice doesn’t stop.

 _Help me if you can, I'm feeling down_  
_And I do appreciate you being 'round_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> _Help_ , The Beatles
> 
> (For Dani in that suit... ;) http://www.gettyimages.de/detail/nachrichtenfoto/marc-marquez-of-spain-jorge-lorenzo-of-spain-and-dani-nachrichtenfoto/187608244; sadly, no tie...)


	30. Last Mile Home

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This wasn't supposed to be here, but I *had* to insert these lyrics, so I hope it's a nice little interlude for you to read and not too disturbing for the flow of the story ♥ #KingsofLeon ;) 
> 
> (Flying again already, so bear with me, I'm trying to have wifi soon again.)

”It means you’re going, right?” Marc is almost holding his breath. But then, Dani buying a suit, it can only mean one thing, right?

”Yes. Of course I am. As long as you’re sure that you want me to, I’m going.”

”I’m always going to be sure of that.”

They both fall silent for a moment and Marc feels his heart still jump in his chest. Dani will be there, for his graduation. He’d scream with joy if they weren’t on a campsite. If Alberto and Santi and Pol and Aleix weren’t sleeping only a couple of meters away.

”I miss you,” he whispers after a while, feeling stupid for saying it.

”Miss you, too.” _Maybe not as stupid as he thought._ “But it’s only until tomorrow, right? I’ll drive us down in the evening so you’ll be ready Saturday morning.”

”Yeah, Aleix is dropping me off at yours. And then you better drive fast.”

”Why is that?”

”Because I’ll want to do things.” Marc tries for a seductive voice, hopes it’s working even so he has to whisper, despite hiding in Aleix’s car.

”Do you really?” Marc thinks he’s achieved his goal, because Dani’s almost coughing, voice slightly hoarse.

”You bet I do.” If he tries hard enough, Marc thinks he manages a decent growl.

”You’re alone, right?”

”Yes,” Marc chuckles softly, “yes, I’m alone. I wouldn’t… not with Emilio or Santi around. I’m hiding.”

”Hiding, huh?”

”Uh-huh, don’t really need company, you know? Not when I’m going to be imagining you in a suit for the rest of the night.”

And that gets a decent cough out of Dani. Marc’s grinning now in the darkness of the car, but he’s also feeling quite a bit into this, whatever they’re doing here. And Dani in a suit… the thought is tempting.

”You know,” Dani hisses after a moment and Marc can _hear_ the smug look on the older man’s face, “I am only wearing boxer right now…”

Obviously, two can play that game.

It’s good they’ve practiced moaning silently at his house already, Marc thinks eventually, biting his bottom lip and tasting copper. Dani can be as loud as he wants to and Marc thinks he could get off from the sounds alone, each moan vibrating through his body. He comes in his pants, which should feel more embarrassing or weird than it does. He lets his head falling back with a content hum, hears Dani breathe his name, feels the shivers run through his veins. _You’re really thinking of me. Only me._

Neither of them says much after that, but he thinks Dani is smiling when he tells him how he’s hoping he hasn’t made any stains in Aleix’s car.

*

Marc spends the way home on the backseat of Aleix’s car, trying not to blush over the thoughts of what happened in that same car last night. He’s dozing off every now and then, trying not to move too much. He’s had a crash in the afternoon and his ribs ache a fair bit, but he’s confident that nothing is broken and so he’s far from cancelling his evening plans. Aleix hasn’t even raised an eyebrow when he told him that he wants to be dropped off at Dani’s and that’s the kind of silent acceptance that Marc’s been hoping for all along. Because people are better nowadays, more tolerant. Because being gay, at least in Marc’s head, has never been weird or unnatural. Just a different taste, like people prefer different types of music. And he’s determined to show Dani that yes, it can be that easy.

If it wasn’t for Aleix’s presence, Marc would have a thousand things on his mind he’d like to ask Pol. Who’d send him to Vale with half of them. Marc contemplates texting Vale, but then realizes he doesn’t know how to ask. Not in a text message at least.

The way home, not even an hour long, drags endlessly today, Marc thinks. He seems to be so far under Dani's spell, he's literally itching to be able to touch him again. And he can't stop thinking about him, imagining him here in the car with them, imagining that instead of leaning against the cold window of the car, he could rest his head against Dani's shoulder. Bury his nose in the cotton of Dani's sweater. Smell Dani's aftershave. Have Dani's fingers running through his hair. The imagination alone is enough to make him shiver head to toe, brings him close to purring contently. Marc is drifting away over confusing thoughts of how it’s hopefully not going to hurt his performance on track that he’s thinking about Dani all the time, when Aleix and Pol wake him.

”Babychamp? You’re home.”

”Yup, we’ve reached your loverboy’s mansion.”

He gives them finger while he struggles out of the car, realizing that his thigh isn’t quite okay either. They just wolfwhistle after him and Marc feels more than grateful that they’re being so normal about all of this. He texts his parents quickly, tells them he’s here and leaving with Dani. The reply is friendly, which is a good sign. They’ll come up to see him race on Sunday anyway and Marc hopes he can show them how having Dani around is not disruptive at all to his racing.

”Hey babe, I’m so glad you’re here,” Dani pulls him inside, immediately wrapping him in a hug.

Marc can’t stop himself from wincing and of course Dani notices and steps back, staring at him questioningly.

”Nothing big,” he says with a shrug, “just a few bruises. Don’t worry about it.”

”Are you sure?”

”I’ve had it worse,” Marc mumbles quietly.

He thinks he can tell the moment where Dani realizes - _for the first time?_ -, where a flash of horror crosses his boyfriend’s face.

”I-“ he sees Dani gulp and shake the thoughts off, “We’re kind of late, right? So I bet get you into that van and to the track. But I _will_ have a close look at those bruises you must have gotten there.”

Dani’s finger is pointing at Marc’s chest and Marc feels that familiar twitch in his lap again already.

”Is that a threat or a promise?”

”Up to you, babe, up to you.” 

The way to a race has never been as long as tonight, Marc thinks. And he’s not sure there’ll be much sleep for either of them.

 _Dreaming on the last mile home_  
_Things are always better_  
_When we're all together_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> _Last Mile Home_ , Kings of Leon


	31. Here Comes The Rain Again

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ♥ ♥ ♥  
> (I have not forgotten about the requests and I'm sorry things are taking so long nowadays.)

_So baby talk to me_  
_like lovers do_

It’s past ten when he has the van parked safely in the paddock, light drizzle and darkness accompanying them all the way. Marc has fallen asleep a while back, looking wrecked and exhausted. Worn out. For a moment, Dani just stays as he is and watches the younger. _My boyfriend._ Calling Marc that, _knowing_ that’s what Marc is, in all honesty, is still such a strange thought, such a foreign concept. And it feels completely right to call Marc his boyfriend. 

Dani’s eyes rest on Marc’s sleeping face and he smiles, a shudder running through his body just from watching the younger man. He looks peaceful and strangely comfortable, even though he’s kind of awkwardly curled up in the passenger seat, face leaning against the car window. To Dani, it seems he can sleep anywhere and under any condition and well, the way he’s grown up that’s probably only natural. Still, it will be better to get him horizontal. Even young bones and muscles like to stretch.

Slowly, Dani reaches out, fingers ghosting over the beginning of evening stubble on Marc’s face.

”Hey, sleepyhead, we’ve made it. Let’s get you to bed.”

Dani watches Marc’s eyes blink open, watches his expression go from confused to smiling.

”Hey, wow, that was quick,” Marc rasps, voice hoarse from sleeping.

The younger unbuckles and stretches, Dani’s eyes captivated by the inches of bare midriff the movement is exposing. Then, he’s coughing and Dani sees Marc wince when he lowers his arms. It makes Dani frown with concern. _You wouldn’t keep quiet about anything that’s threatening, right? Like ribs poking your lungs?_

”Are you okay?”

”Mhm,” Marc nods, “it’s okay.”

Marc is climbing out of the car already, movements slower than usual, and Dani follows his lead. It's dark and cold and still drizzling and after a quiet and quick visit to the restrooms, they both don't bother with anything else but rushing into the bed.

”Dani,” Marc mumbles with a seemingly strained voice, busy wriggling out of his clothes, “maybe I’m not quite okay.”

Dani’s heart constricts and he freezes mid-movement, half-stuck in his hoodie, head turning towards Marc in record speed.

”Why? What’s wrong?” He’s almost panicking. No, he’s definitely totally panicking, basically only half a blink away from calling an ambulance.

”I’m not sure… maybe you should have that close look at my bruises before we go to sleep? Just to make sure?”

All the air flows out of Dani’s lungs and for an instant, he’s about to be furious, the smug look on Marc’s face, the teasingly wiggling eyebrow unnerving to him. But something about that smooth tone in Marc’s voice, that seductive growl, it’s making Dani impossibly needy and he can’t be angry at Marc when he’s looking at him like _this_.

”Don’t. Ever. Do. That. Again.” Dani frees himself of his remaining clothes and then pokes Marc’s chest hard, trying his best to look stern. “Not. Funny.”

”Please?” Marc whines, a hand running through Dani’s hair. “Dani?”

Dani wonders if or how anyone ever could have resisted these eyes or this pout and feels himself melt a bit more, automatically leaning over to kiss Marc. He pushes the other down, gently, until he’s on his back, spread out and naked and ready to be devoured. Something Dani is intent on doing, never minding the confined space of the van or the dim light. 

Dani is falling, deeper and deeper. And he feels it, because the shudders just keep running through him, because he can’t stop smiling into their kiss, because for the first time ever, he feels like he could cry with joy. Marc’s hands are tangled in his hair, holding on to his head and bit by bit, Dani lets his mouth travel down, littering Marc’s skin with kisses and licks. He looks out for all the tiny scars on Marc’s otherwise flawless skin, traces each one with his tongue.

Sometimes, he looks up, expectantly and questioningly. Marc, eyes half-closed, shrugs each times and then gives him a brief summary what happened, a story behind each mark. In Dani’s body, all the accidents pile up into a lump somewhere, a nagging feeling that he doesn’t like all that hurt, all that misery, that he’d hate to see Marc in any of these conditions.

He maps the recent bruises on Marc’s chest ever so gently, hears Marc suck in a sharp breath at the first contact. He also massages Marc’s thigh, sitting back on his heels, watching Marc’s eyes fly open in surprise before he hums contently under Dani’s touch, almost purring. _Yeah, I haven’t missed that you’re limping._

It sure started out as something teasing, as a foreplay to something else, more passionate. Somehow, the urgency has drained though, the touches and kisses no longer are about taking this any further. It’s transformed into something more important for Dani, into a mission of getting to know Marc’s body, the stories behind it. And into a realization, a scary one, that’s slowly sinking in. Because until now, Dani hadn’t fully realized what Marc _is_ doing on those tracks, how far he’s stretching his luck at times.

Theoretically, Dani had been aware of the risks. But in reality, he’s only now beginning to grasp the dimensions, to see the close calls that had been there. _Ruptured spleen. Don’t worry, wasn’t too bad. You do know that Vale only has one kidney?_ The casual way Marc mumbles that, it’s sending shivers down Dani’s spine.

Once he’s sure he’s kissed and explored every inch of Marc, has learned every detail, he curls around the younger, head in the crook of Marc’s neck and an arm carefully draped around Marc’s torso, avoiding the dark blue splotches.

”I love you,” the younger mumbles into his hair and Dani nuzzles closer.

”I love you, too,” he whispers.

Beside him, Marc turns off the light before turning to press closer against him.

”Do my scars scare you?”

”A little,” Dani mumbles. Somehow, he can’t lie to Marc. Even less, when they’re like this. Never, Dani really has never felt this intimate around anyone. Never felt so fragile and safe at the same time.

”They shouldn’t. They’re just a part of what I do. Even if I’m one of those who don’t make it in one piece, I have other options. You shouldn't worry, I promise I’ll be fine.”

”Marc?”

”Hm?” Marc sounds sleepy and Dani is sorry for bringing it up, but he _has_ to know.

”Is that why you’ve applied for university?”

It's quiet and Dani feels his heart thunder, worries that he shouldn't haven't mentioned his secret knowledge.

”Who told you?”

”Linda.”

Marc falls silent, but Dani can tell by the way he’s breathing that he’s not asleep, that he’s just thinking and Dani knows better than to push.

”Yes, it is. I’ve seen what happened to Vale and I’ve had my moments where I thought I’d never get back on a bike. So I always prepared for a plan B.” Marc’s fingers are running through Dani’s hair, sending more shivers down his spine. “I’m sorry I didn’t tell you, it somehow never came up.”

”Are you going to move?”

Dani feels Marc shake his head and though he tries not to show it, relief washes over him.

”No. I thought about it. But now? No.”

_I don’t think I would have dealt well with you leaving. But you’re not staying because of me, right? Because I don’t think I’d want to keep you away from having that… from experiencing all of university life._

”I- You’re…” Dani’s voice is hoarse, breaking, “Not because of me, right?”

”Mhm. Not just, but also because of you,” Marc curls even tighter around him now and Dani wonders how he manages that, bruised ribs and all, “Also because it’s closer to the training tracks. I won’t be there much at all, no more than two days a week, I think.”

”Seriously? How is that going to work?”

Dani has never heard of a program that involves so little time commitment.

”Skipping.”

Marc says it as if it’s the most natural thing in the world.

”And your parents?”

”They won’t care,” Marc smiles against Dani’s cheek, he can feel the curl in the younger man’s lips, “they only care about grades, not attendance. I’ve skipped a lot of classes because of training and races in my life.”

Dani cannot really imagine Roser tolerating that, but Marc sounds serious. And maybe it’s too late and they’re too tired to discuss serious things to begin with. For now, Dani could go to sleep, especially with the reassurance that Marc won’t be living anywhere else during the week. There’s something incredibly comforting, peaceful, powerful about this night, these moments. Something about the closeness, physical and mental, about the way he feels safe when he’s pressed against Marc. Light rain has started to drip onto the roof above them and Dani feels light, floating and at the same time anchored in Marc’s hold. He could most definitely get used to sleeping like this.

”Dani?” Something in Marc’s tone tells him he’s not going to sleep anytime soon though.

”Mhm?”

”You’ve got scars, too.”

_Fuck._ He bites his lip, feels himself go rigid, even with the gentle touch of Marc’s fingers in his neck. 

”Not tonight,” he croaks, quickly gritting his teeth and internally begging for the memories to stay away.

”But someday you’ll tell me?” Marc sounds concerned. Not prying or curious, just concerned.

”Okay, someday. But not now. And it doesn’t matter.” He leans over and kisses Marc’s temple. “Now sleep. I don’t want Emilio or Santi to kill me when you fall asleep on your bike tomorrow.”

_...falling on my head like a memory_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> _Here Comes The Rain Again_ , Eurythmics


	32. Lovers

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry ♥  
> One more week and I'll have a bit more time.

Waking up in the hold of a ruffled, naked octopus-turned Dani is beautiful. And quite tempting, Marc has to admit. Still, he’s more than a little determined to proof to his parents and anyone else who needs it that yes, he is totally capable of focusing. Even with his boyfriend around. He disentangles, again needing more force than expected and then sits there, sighing disappointedly. Dani looks so perfect, all flushed and disheveled and curled up peacefully. _Next weekend is ours…_

Marc pokes the smaller awake, grinning over the puppy-dog-eyes and the pout when Dani’s eyes blink open.

”Sorry,” he says, leaning down for a kiss. “I’ll go for a run now and you might want to get ready, too. And get started with unloading… uh… Santi and Emilio will help. They’ll be parked next to us I think. And they’ll have coffee.”

Dani just sighs against his cheek and Marc chuckles.

”Emilio makes good coffee, really.”

”Do they know?” Dani is mumbling against his skin, voice vibrating through Marc’s body and making the younger shudder.

”Uh- I don’t know.” He shrugs. He really doesn’t know. “Probably. I think Vale would have told them when he explained that you’re his replacement.”

”Is it going to be awkward?”

”With Emilio and Santi? I doubt it.” _I think they’re in no place to complain._

”Don’t worry, I think it’ll be fine,” Marc says, getting ready to step outside. “You need to sort the paperwork, too… Emilio can show you. Can I have a goodbye kiss?”

*

The weather could have been better, Marc thinks with a frown, running his way through the woods next to the paddock, light rain still his steady companion. For the first time, he’s not quite sure if having Dani around is going to work in the long run. Sure, right now, it’s not much of an issue, as the races he’s doing this year are mostly races he can win easily. Next year though, he’ll need more focus, more concentration than he can manage with Dani around. Because making out for almost twenty minutes before getting starting is rather disruptive for his usual race weekend routine.

But maybe he’ll just have to get used to it. Though right now, he thinks he’ll never get used to having Dani around. Much less having Dani around and knowing that Dani wants him.

_My boyfriend._ He rolls the words on his tongue, is still doing that when he gets back to the campsite, drenched and breathless. He heads straight for the showers, tries saying the words on his way and while the warm water washes over him. He loves the sound of it, loves the meaning behind it. And he’s still full of awe whenever it sinks in that it’s real.

When he gets back to the others, he heads straight for Emilio’s, because that’s where they always have breakfast. And when he sees them, all three, gathered around the table, his heart jumps a bit. _Family._ It would be even better if Vale was sitting there, too, as Marc misses him. Races without Vale are rare and thus strange by nature. But still, Dani’s face, lighting up, smiling at him shyly, it’s breathtaking. And from all Marc can tell, Dani is getting along just fine with the other two, the three apparently knees-deep in a debate about bike brands. 

”Morning guys,” he says, sliding into the seat next to Dani and letting their knees bump.

With a smile that he can’t get out of his face, he keeps listening and watching, loving how Dani fits in and how Dani’s eyes are shining brightly, his posture confident. _Maybe you’ll see, you’ll learn that yes, people can accept and love you just like that?_

The one thing he’s come to appreciate, more than he used, is how he’s grown up among so many supportive feeling. So far, Marc has always taken that for granted, but with Dani and his experiences – as little as the older talks about them, Marc can guess about a few – Marc is feeling grateful for his background. His family and surrogate family.

Eventually, he just takes Dani’s hand. The older, maybe by reflex, lowers their hands under the table, puts them on his thigh and Marc, nudging Dani’s knee with his, just puts them back up, on top of the breakfast table. Neither Emilio nor Santi are watching at all, oblivious to what he’s done, just arguing about some brake systems, but Marc sees the way Dani looks down, the wonder in the smaller man’s eyes, the blush on his cheeks, before he joins back in the debate, this time keeping their hands right where Marc put them.

_Fast learner._

*

Saturday goes well, Marc’s morning worries about being able to focus less slowly fading as he realizes that at least during the day, they can manage a good work relationship. Professional. And Dani is an amazing mechanic, the best Marc could wish for. When Emilio says just that, at night, over barbecue for everyone else and salad for Marc, Dani blushes until his face has the color of lobster and Marc can’t stop laughing for a full five minutes. 

This time, they do go to sleep right away, not discussing anything. Marc wonders if Dani worries about Sunday, about races or about the parental invasion, but be it from exhaustion or Emilio’s _special liquor_ , Dani passes out cold as soon as his head hits the pillow. And Marc is left marveling his face in the semi-darkness, his finger gently running over a stubbly jawline, playing with a soft, black streak of hair. 

”I love you so much,” he whispers, before he kisses Dani’s forehead and wraps himself around the other. Though he’s sure that with his octopus-skills, Dani is going to make sure they’re tangled the other way ‘round in the morning.

*

Sunday works out just as expected, with two race wins and another trophy that’s packed away safely. His parents watch and approve and his father even has the decency to congratulate Dani on his job. Marc almost bites off his tongue trying not to laugh, as the parental clap on the shoulder and the honest praise don’t fail to turn Dani back into a lobster. Dani glares at him, pretty openly, but Marc can’t help it, it looks adorable.

They clean and wash and pack, Dani slowly finding his place in-between routines and rituals that have been established over almost thirteen years of Marc’s life. And then it’s done, their first official race weekend as lovers and teammates and yes, Marc thinks, it feels pretty good.

”Are you okay? Fit enough to drive after everything?” He asks Dani, who does look a bit tired when he buckles up in the driver’s seat.

”Yeah, I’m good. You go have a nap, I want you fit when we’re home.”

The innuendo makes Marc blush. And react. In an explicit way. Because seriously, they’ve been heading for _that_ since Friday now.

”Oh yeah? I have no idea why you’d want that,” he says, wiggling his eyebrows.

”Tease,” Dani says with a smile and Marc leans over to kiss his ear gently, seeing him shudder behind the wheel.

”You love me for it.”

Dani just snorts.

”I’m glad my parents let me stay at your place for the night,” Marc says after a while, his hand now on Dani’s thigh, “Not just because of _that_ , but because I’ll miss you so much next week.”

Because he is going to be away from Monday to Friday, again, training on the Dutch track that’s open daily, not just a couple of times a week. Not far away, but far enough to separate them. And Dani has to work, obviously.

”I’ll miss you, too. But when you’re back, you’ll have your big day.”

*

Marc must have drifted away then and next thing he knows, they’re parked in front of Dani’s place already, Dani once again poking him awake.

”Sometimes, being with you is like dating sleeping beauty,” Dani smirks at him, “I always have to kiss you awake.”

”That wasn’t kissing. You poked my ribs,” Marc pouts. Dani obediently leans forward and kisses him now though and somehow, it’s still making Marc’s heart jump, every single time. As if he’s still not quite able to believe it. _Maybe I’ll never really believe it, because it just seems too good to be true._

They hurry inside, only unpacking the essentials and they barely brush their teeth before they head for the bed. This time, without build up, without questioning, wondering, assuming. Just heading for the bed to have sex, Marc thinks when he strips down to his boxers, his eyes devouring Dani who’s already naked. The older is staring back at him with midnight-black eyes, looking predatory and then almost jumps him, kissing him breathless without warning.

”Those need to come off, too,” Dani growls into his ear, thumbs under Marc’s waistband and Marc nods, helps Dani to get the last piece of clothing out of the way.

Marc would be ashamed of the way his cock is pretty much jumping out of its confines, but Dani is just as hard and needy and no, tonight they won’t be holding back, Marc thinks. Well, tries to think, with the last couple of functioning brain cells struggling to focus on anything but the taste of peppermint and Dani, mixing with a hint of copper.

Dani properly ravishes him, leaves him behind with kiss-swollen lips and a set of bruises from his neck over his collarbones. And this time, he fucks him the way he did during their first night together and Marc really prefers this, prefers seeing his face. Because watching Dani come undone is the most beautiful and rewarding thing he can imagine. And also, damned hot.

Dani’s entire behavior tonight, it’s rougher, more possessive than before. It’s a bit like he’s being claimed, Marc thinks and yeah, he could definitely get used to this side of Dani. To the bite marks in his neck, to having his wrists held down firmly, to the burn that’s chased by intense pleasure when Dani bottoms out in one thrust.

Dani makes him come with embarrassingly few strokes, but then Marc thinks it’s only natural, since he’s been waiting for _this_ since Friday. And the way Dani’s taking him, it’s like a tidal wave rolling over him, overstimulating all his senses as once, so how should he have held back, how should he have brought up any more control? 

He’s just about conscious enough to watch Dani through his last thrusts, hears him release a strangled scream before he’s collapsing on top of Marc, breathless and looking absolutely wrecked.

”Where did that come from?” Marc asks softly, fingers toying with Dani’s damp hair, once they’ve both caught their breath a little.

”Sorry. Did I hurt you?” Dani’s voice sounds alarmed and his eyes fly open.

”No, don’t worry. You’ve got proof of how awesome it was all over your stomach,” Marc chuckles. “It’s just been more intense somehow? And I was wondering, you know.”

”You’ve been teasing me since Friday, so I’ve been a bit desperate,” Dani mumbles, rolling off of him and wrapping himself around Marc’s body. _The octopus in you is coming out already, huh?_

He’s not quite buying Dani’s response, can’t really help thinking that there might be more to it. But since he’s just been fucked senseless, he figures that tonight is not the time to discuss things and anyway, he probably couldn’t form any coherent sentences now anyway.

_Someday though, I’ll make you talk. Really talk. About this. And the scars. And the rest of you._

_We're just lovers like no others_  
_I see that in your smile_  
_And mine's there too_  
_Were just lovers like no others  
_'Cause I was just a half, until I found you__

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> _Lovers_ , Beech


	33. If I be Wrong (Pt. 1)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Last update for this story until next week!
> 
> Sorry about the cliffhanger ;)
> 
> And apologies to Scott Redding... someone had to be the idiot here and he fits age-wise.
> 
> Also: I'm not proofreading at all lately, I'm too drained, so sorry about that as well.

The week drags by, each day feeling endless. Dani talks to Vale and Jorge. And Linda. Each of them trying to calm his nerves, each of them convincing him that everything will turn out okay. And still, his nerves are killing him. He tries to let them divert him, has an impromptu-belated-birthday party for Jorge with them, but no, it’s not making things any easier. Of course, he also talks to Marc on the phone, each night. And Marc keeps reminding him each and every night that things will turn out just fine. Dani is still terrified. And if he’s completely honest, he’s not just scared because of Marc, he’s also scared because of himself. As slowly, he is realizing that he is coming out, too. Publicly. In a tiny village. There’ll be no hiding afterwards, not for Marc, not for him. It’s a nerve-wrecking thought.

On Friday morning, he feels almost like he was about to get married. The notion is supported by Linda hovering around him, apparently making sure that he doesn’t get cold feet and really does put on that suit. She even drives him to Marc’s place, keeps him from ruining the flowers he brought for Roser by nestling with them too much. He also brought a gift for Marc, neatly stacked away in his pocket. It’s making him even more nervous. Knowing that it’s there, not knowing how Marc will react.

”Okay, little man, get out there and flash them with your new wardrobe,” Linda winks at him and Dani takes a last deep breath.

His legs are wobbly on the way to the front door and he feels gratitude wash over him when Alex opens the door, all smiles and warmth and welcoming him as if this was a day like every other. 

”Marc, Dani is here!” The boy yells up the stairs, then hurries away and Dani’s left at the bottom of the stairs, feels like in some American movie about high school. 

”Hey, Dani,” Marc appears upstairs with a giant smile, then stares at him. And Dani stares back, blown away. Marc always looks beautiful. But Marc in a dark suit? It’s absolute perfection.

”Wow,” he says, slightly breathless, “you look great.”

That’s not even half of how Dani feels, but words are hard to find when he needs all his concentration to stop himself from drooling or getting hard.

”Same to you,” Marc is downstairs now, arms around Dani’s waist, pressing a feathery kiss to Dani’s neck, “You look amazing. And I can’t wait to get you out of that suit tonight.” The last bit is more of a growl and Dani pinches his own arm, hopes that the pain will calm down the arousal somewhat.

Most of the day passes in a blur from there on, whether it’s clumsily handing Roser the flowers or meeting Marc’s grandfather who looks intimidating and keeps staring at him during the drive to Marc’s school. Dani can’t focus on any speeches or any people, all he sees is Marc, in his suit, mostly holding onto Dani’s hand tightly, openly. And he can’t stop looking at their hands with wonder, staring at their laced fingers, hardly sees or hears anything apart from that.

_We’re doing this. We are actually, really, totally doing this._ His blood rushes through his head. He’s grateful, endlessly grateful, for the seemingly unimpressed, casual way the Marquez-family is dealing with this, pulling him along, letting him sit next to Marc, introducing him politely whenever it’s necessary and not batting an eyelid over his gender or age. Dani thinks he can’t breathe and Marc is called on stage already.

When it’s over, Dani isn’t sure whether they’ve been there for minutes or hours. All he knows is that he’s hot and cold, that the looks from some of the other people are burning him, that there’s some kind of whispering going on around them wherever they turn. Marc seems oblivious, just smiles at him, kisses him, takes him back outside. Dani doesn’t really come back to his senses until they’re seated at their restaurant table.

He slowly gets a hold of the conversations around him, slowly starts to participate, finally feels like he can breath and think again.

At some point during dessert, Marc leans in towards him, whispers straight into his ear, “See, the world hasn’t stopped turning. And you’re doing great.”

Dani can’t resist the temptation to pinch his boyfriend’s thigh under the table. Hard. In retaliation and because Marc is looking far too smug here.

Over the table, Dani just about catches Roser looking at him with an amused smile around her lips. A genuine, amused smile. And that’s where it sinks in. _It’s really working. This. Us. It’s going okay._

He spends the afternoon at his place, changes into a black shirt that Linda came up with, sheds the tie. Exchanges nervous texts with Jorge as tension slowly creeps back into his system and his gift for Marc feels like it’s burning a whole into his pocket.

He picks Marc up for the student party. With his bike. And leathers over the suit – praying Linda won’t ever find out. And it’s more than a little reassuring, the way Marc is gaping at him when he’s standing at the entrance for the second time today, helmet under his arm, black leather covering his torso. Marc looks like he’s about to drool and it’s Dani’s turn to look smug, until Marc kisses his smirk away, almost ravishing him on his parents’ doorstep.

”You know,” Marc growls into his ear, “those parties are overrated anyway. Let’s just go to your place.”

Dani can’t help chuckling softly and well, he can’t say he’s not tempted, but not tonight.

”Aw, babe, no way. You’re going to that party, you’ll only graduate from high school once.”

Marc pouts at him, but Dani isn’t giving in. Even if he admits that it costs him some self-restraint. And the way to the party, with Marc riding pillion, arms around Dani’s waist tightly, feels like heaven. He’s almost disappointed when they’ve made it.

The party itself, for the most part, is okay. Dani won’t call it more than that, because despite Marc’s attempts at distracting him from it, there is staring and mumbling. But there’s also people like Pol who welcome him as if he’d always been there. And there’s dancing, which Dani learns is something Marc isn’t too bad at either. Some girls look like they want to kill him with their bare hands, but Dani can deal with that. Actually, it’s making him kind of proud. Because his evil side can’t help feeling that _yeah, I got the one you guys wanted and couldn’t have… look, he wants ME_.

He can’t drink, obviously. Neither does Marc, since well, Marc takes his sport way too seriously to get drunk at any point midseason. Though Dani has a small bottle of champagne in his fridge and hopes he can get Marc to share that eventually. With most of the crowd around them getting more and more drunk, it’s getting harder to really enjoy themselves and eventually, when Marc once again asks him whether they should leave, Dani agrees.

They gather their leathers and helmets, tell Pol and Caterina goodnight, interrupting them in the middle of slow dance that looked damned close to fucking on the dancefloor and head outside.

”One cigarette, okay?” Dani asks, leaning against a tree. Marc nods and smiles, hugging him from behind and nuzzling his face in his neck while he lights it.

”Thank you so much for doing this for me,” Marc whispers and it’s sending shivers down Dani’s spine, the genuine gratefulness, the way Marc’s breath ghosts over his skin, the touch of Marc’s fingers in his hair. Dani is about to reply something along the lines how Marc has nothing to thank him for, when an icecold voice snarls through the air.

”You fags need to get a room.”

Every muscle in Dani’s body tenses at the words and he turns quickly, seeing that the voice belongs to a guy that he thinks was introduced to him as Scott. Marc just puts his arm around Dani’s voice and pulls him closer.

”You got a problem Redding? Can’t find anyone to get laid? Well sorry, but this one’s mine.”

Dani has no idea how things could escalate this quickly, where the animosity between Marc and that guy comes from, but he sees it immediately, the way the other makes a fist, gets ready to lunge himself at his boyfriend. It’s neither a conscious decision nor anything planned, but Dani’s body moves on autopilot, stepping between the two. A loud crack echoes through the air when his fist connects with the taller man’s jaw and Dani hasn’t lost any of his force, sending the other down on his knees with a bleeding nose.

_Fuck._

_What if I’m wrong, what if I’ve lied_  
_What if I’ve dragged you here to my own dark night_  
_And what if I know, what if I see_  
_There is a crack run right down the front of me_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> _If I be wrong_ , Wolf Larsen


	34. If I be Wrong (Pt. 2)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Thank you ♥
> 
> ...there might be another cliffhanger at the end of this...

_But if I be wrong, if I be right_  
_Let me be here with you_  
_If I be wrong, if I be right_  
_Let me stay here in your arms tonight_

For a moment, Marc feels angry, because damned, he doesn’t need Dani to protect him and he’s well capable of defending himself. At the same time though, it’s been pretty hot to see, Dani in his leather with that really strong punch. And Marc _knows_ how toned and fit the smaller man is, he’s seen the firm muscles and marveled them on more than one occasion, but seeing Dani use his force and strength like that, yeah, it’s definitely hot.

They’ve just turned around, Dani’s head against his shoulder now and the bike only a couple of steps away, when he hears Scott’s voice again.

”Hey, Marquez, I had no idea you were such a delicate princess. Gonna let him fuck you now, gonna spread nice and wide for that fag?”

To say Marc is furious would be an understatement. He’s never, in his entire life, been that mad at anyone. Not even Alex, who has broken almost all his toys when they were still little and crashed one of his bikes. How dare that Redding to do this to them? To Dani? The entire day, it’s been one beautiful proof that yes, life and society and the world in general _are_ ready for them. Seriously. It’s been so wonderful to see Dani loosen up, to see him get comfortable with the idea of being out. And now that damned son of a bitch is ruining their evening?

Marc wants revenge and payback and he’s already turning around, hand ready in a fist, when he hears Dani’s voice, whispering close to his ear.

”Let’s ignore him, he’ll only ruin our night. I want to take you home and if you’re a good boy and stop fighting now, I might even have a gift for you.”

Dani pulls him along, arm tight around Marc’s waist and Marc loses focus, loses track, Dani’s words going straight to his groin. He only half-hears Scott laugh behind them, because somehow, Dani has managed to catch all his attention. After all, Scott’s not completely wrong about their plans for tonight.

The ride home takes too long, at least for Marc’s taste. Because now that the pictures are in his head, he can’t wait. Doesn’t want to wait. All he needs and craves is right here, in his arms, taking him home slightly faster than technically allowed and all Marc wants to do is rip those leathers and that tight black shirt off of Dani. 

Parking is done in a haste tonight, just like the way up to Dani’s apartment and they both lose helmets and leathers on the way up. Marc has Dani propped up against the hallway wall the second they’re inside, hands clutching to Dani’s collar. Their foreheads touch and they’re both breathing heavily, while they stare into each other’s eyes. Marc shudders from the sight alone, Dani’s pupils blown impossibly wide, his eyes fully black, his face flushed. With a small growl, Marc leans down, crashes their lips together and presses even closer against Dani, their bodies flush from head to toe.

It’s an intoxicating mix, Dani’s taste, his smell, the heat radiating from his body and Marc drowns, all too willingly, in waves of passion and need. Dani whimpers into his mouth, rubbing his body against Marc’s already. It’s good, no, amazing, but it’s going too fast, it will be over too soon. Marc pulls away, panting, lips connected with a string of saliva.

”Bedroom,” Marc croaks, eyes pleading with Dani’s, who is nodding at him.

And Dani has never looked more beautiful than this, with his cheeks red and his eyes so black and Marc just wants this man, needs him, in every way possible.

Marc sheds his clothes on the way to Dani’s bedroom already and when they stop at the foot of the bed and Dani turns around, the smaller is confused for a second, before he smirks up at him and Marc loves that look, that smile somewhere between coy and vicious.

”Eager much?”

Marc smiles back, nods, because really, there is no point in denying anything here.

”Just… let me,” he mumbles, ability to speak leaving him already, while his fingers toy with Dani’s buttons, slowly opening the shirt. He kisses the exposed skin, bit by bit, finds that Dani tastes a bit salty already. He’s almost down to his knees, tongue swirling around one of Dani’s nipples, when Dani’s hands grip his hair, holding on tightly. _As if you’re anchoring yourself on me…_.

Marc lets the shirt slide off, the soft, dark fabric falling soundlessly. Dani is whimpering, because Marc is still playing with his nipples and yes, Marc has learned that he’s sensitive there. He’s learned more, he thinks, fingers opening Dani’s belt. He kisses Dani’s stomach and sucks a bruise above his hipbone, right next to one of Dani’s little scars. It reminds him of the unspoken things, of the history Dani is yet to share, but Marc has no intention to let the ghosts of the past haunt this night. 

He takes a last deep breath before he slides down Dani’s slacks and boxers, before he faces the task he’s set himself for this date. Dani pulls on his hair for a moment and he looks up, slightly confused. The smaller is obviously aroused, short of breath and smiling down so sweetly that Marc thinks it’s melting his heart again.

”You don’t have to do that.” Dani’s hand caresses his cheek, sends shivers down his spine.

”I want to do this,” Marc says with a smile, fingers digging into Dani’s hips. “Really.”

With that, he leans forward, licks Dani’s tip, the precum bitter and sticky on his tongue. Not exactly the most delicious thing he could imagine, but the way Dani’s knees give in, the way he’s moaning, his grip tightening in Marc’s hair, it makes the effort worth it a thousand times. 

Every once in a while, during his self-set task, he allows himself a brief pause, a glance up at Dani, who looks debauched and sexy and who always looks more than beautiful when he is unravelling. He also makes the most beautiful noises, spurring Marc on with his moans and whimpers, especially those little desperate whimpers. They go straight to Marc’s lap every single time.

He tries to do what Dani did to him, as good as he can. And he knows he’s not quite that good, but the way Dani is reacting, Marc doesn’t think he’s that bad either. When Dani tries to pull him away, gasps his name and stop, he’s vaguely aware what the other wants to warn him for, but somehow he thinks that he can just finish this all the way, properly. Now that he’s come so far already. So he shows no sign of moving, keeps his lips tightly around Dani’s shaft, tongue swirling around the tip once more. It’s such a powerful feeling, the knowledge that he can do this with Dani, that he’s responsible for the way Dani’s hips buck forward and Dani’s legs tremble. And Marc can feel all of Dani’s muscles tense for an instant before Dani is coming down his throat, a few curses falling from the older man’s lips and it’s almost hot enough to make Marc come, untouched.

Dani more or less collapses in his hold and Marc quickly moves them to the bed, where Dani ends up splayed out on his back, breathing heavily. _You’re mine. All mine. And now everybody knows and that’s just perfect._

With a proud grin, Marc snuggles up against the smaller man, fits his head into Dani’s arm and waits for the other to regain his breath.

”You can’t just… Marc, that was incredible.”

”I kind of thought so,” Marc whispers, pulling the covers around them.

Under the sheets, Dani’s hand is moving over to his cock and it barely takes a minute before Marc is truly spent himself, his brain short-circuiting and his vision white.

”You know, I think you mentioned a gift,” he brings out as soon as he has the air for it and it makes Dani chuckle, a sound that’s always beautiful to Marc’s ears.

”I did,” Dani rolls over, almost falls of the bed while he reaches for his pants and then, after a bit of fiddling around, turns back to face Marc with a shy little smile. “Here you go, congratulations.”

Marc takes the small box with trembling fingers. He’s not sure what he expected, but certainly not jewelry. That’s actually much, much more than he’d expected and it leaves him totally speechless, his eyes fixed on the silver ring he finds inside.

”Dani,” he mumbles, staring into the other’s eyes incredulously, “I can’t believe you did that. You bought me a ring? It’s beautiful.”

Marc stops himself before he truly starts rambling and Dani just smiles, kisses his forehead and caresses his face again.

”You only deserve the best. Does it fit?”

Of course it does. Marc has no idea how Dani does these things, how he always knows what to do, what to get. The ring is inscribed with his graduation date and their names and Marc is pretty sure that he’s never gotten a better gift in his life. And they end up just lying there, hands entwined and both staring at Marc’s finger, nobody feeling like speaking. No words necessary.

It’s one of these nights where they never make it to brush their teeth, where suddenly, exhaustion crashes over them and they fall asleep with their limbs tangled already and their fingers still laced. Marc drifts away into dreamless sleep, feeling boneless and carefree.

The doorbell wakes them, day barely dawning outside and Marc is still rubbing the sleep from his when Dani pads towards the door, only dressed in jeans. From then on, it’s like watching a movie, like stepping out of reality and into a parallel universe, because when there are heated voices and Marc pokes his head through the bedroom door, there’s two men in uniforms in the hallway. One of them is just closing handcuffs on Dani’s back and Marc wants to yell and scream but not a single word comes out of his mouth. He’s never felt as helpless as he does now, while he watches them take him away, his Dani, who looks so heartbreakingly scared and shocked. _You can’t take him away from me… you just can’t…_

_And I have been wrong, I have been right_  
_I have been both these things all in the same night_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> _If I be wrong_ , Wolf Larsen


	35. Je Reste

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry, I didn't mean to leave it there :/ But I got all my data back and most of it is still okay, so I can finally update, yay ♥

_Je reste à la lisière de toi_  
_Tu restes à l‘orée de moi_  
_Quand on s’approche, on s’abîme_

Jorge distantly hears the banging at his front door, but it takes a while before it fully registers in his brain, before he processes the meaning of the disturbing sound. He’s about to rush towards it, wanting to find out what’s so important on a God-knows-how-early time on his day off. But before he makes it out of the bed, the weight of an arm, draped around his waist heavily, holds him back.

_”More,” he’s panting, fingers clawing in skin of the blonde man’s back, nails drawing blood. “Please.”_

_Jorge whines and begs and he’s not even ashamed, because everything feels too good. His desire borders on painful and he chants the others name, breathless, like a mantra, his hips bucking to meet every thrust eagerly. The other sure knows what he’s doing, hitting Jorge’s prostate every time and stroking Jorge’s cock in a matching rhythm – just never quite hard enough, always keeping him right on the edge. And Jorge thinks he’s never been this close for this long and it’s making him lose his sense for time and space, his world reduced to wanting and needing. The words he’s babbling turn into incoherent sobs and over him, the blonde is looming, apparently effortlessly, carved muscles in his arms barely trembling and only a hint of sweat covering his perfect pecs._

_It’s when Jorge is wailing loudly and thinks he might actually burst with want, desire making his whole body shake, that the other has mercy, tightening his grip and picking up that last bit of pace Jorge needed. When he comes, it’s the most intense orgasm of his life, with fireworks and stars and then the entire world going black._

The thing is, while Jorge definitely remembers the sex, he doesn’t remember much of what happened before or after. There’s been a club and a dance floor and bodies pressing close against each other. And Tequila, lots of it. And yes, there’d been a man, blonde and gorgeous, toned. With the most fascinating blue eyes Jorge has ever seen, eyes that could pierce him like no one has before. And that evil glint in his smile. The one that made him fall. But what Jorge, to his own absolute horror, does not remember at all, is his name. 

_Who are you?_

***

There’s some sort of knocking or banging, but Emilio couldn’t tell where it comes from if his life depended on it. Just like he couldn’t say why he’s not feeling a soft, slim body next to his but instead rests his head on a flat chest. Something scratches against his forehead and he distantly hears a low, rumbling growl, feels the sheet wrapped closer around them, a broad arm pulling him in.

”Go back to sleep,” a voice mumbles into his ear and that’s when he remembers. Their wives are shopping together for the weekend. And Santi is here. Stayed over. Emilio wonders if he should feel guilty. Which actually, he should be doing all the time. But you can’t really force yourself to feel anything, he ponders and whenever Santi’s near him, Emilio just feels careless and happy and so very sheltered. Like now.

”Don’t want to,” he whispers, shifting his hips slightly in an attempt to demonstrate what he’d rather do now.

”It’s early. Too early. And the weekend. Go back to-“ The last words die on Santi’s lips, end in an intelligible moan, because Emilio has turned enough to rub his groin against Santi’s, determinedly. He kisses a line from the other man’s collarbone to his ear, nibbling the lobe for a moment and chuckling when Santi lets out a high pitched whine.

”Sure you want to back to sleep,” he hisses, his fingers getting tangled in thick brown curls.

”I always knew you’re evil,” Santi says and he’s failing miserably at sounding stern.

”I know, I’m a bad, bad boy,” Emilio mumbles with a soft chuckle, his mouth already on its way down over Santi’s body.

”Wasn’t there someone at the door?” Santi asks, then gasps as Emilio playfully bites down on one of his nipples.

”Whoever it was, they can wait. This,” Emilio rubs against the other’s crotch once again, eliciting another low growl, Santi’s fingers digging into Emilio’s hips now, “this can’t wait.”

***

The banging at their front door wakes Linda and makes her shoot up straight within an instant. She blinks against the early morning light, a hand running through her hair. Luca. Her first thought is Luca, but then she remembers it can’t be about him. Luca has stayed over at Alex’s and should be on his way to the track with Julia by now, so this can’t be about him.

She sleepily rubs her eyes and then blinks down at Vale, who’s curled up peacefully on his side of the bed. He doesn’t even twitch over the sounds from the door, only curls himself slightly tighter. Linda smiles at the sight and runs a hand through his hair. She loves how he looks, all the time, but this is always special, seeing him unguarded and relaxed and calm. And while she’s sitting there, looking down at him, her chest aches more and more. She’s on the verge of tears, just because she loves him so much, needs him so much. And it’s scary, she thinks, tracing his shoulder under the thin sheets, how fragile all of this is at times.

There’s another knock now and she sighs before she gracefully slides out of the bed. She throws on one of Vale’s hoodies on the way to the door, feels the cool tiles under her bare feet and shivers. It’s really still damned early, she thinks, the sun not even fully up. Somehow, her guts twist, because she’s quite sure a visitor, today, at this time, can’t mean anything good.

When she opens the door, he has just turned around and she looks at his back, sees a small figure in jeans and a black leather jacket. A guy who looks lost somehow, smaller than his usual self, which is probably why she needs a moment to recognize him.

”Marc?”

Her heart sinks when he turns around, eyes red-rimmed, face puffy, hair dripping from the light rain. She has no idea what happened, can only assume that it’s about Dani somehow and she hopes and prays the older hasn’t broken up or anything like that. Whatever happened though, Marc’s look is heartbreaking.

”Marc, are you okay?”

She pulls him inside and takes his hands, finds them icy. He shakes his head and, God, he’s so pale, she thinks, helplessly caressing his wrists.

”They took him away,” he mumbles, before he collapses against her shoulder and she barely manages to hold the sobbing pile of sadness, while her brain tries to make sense of what he said.

***

Dani stares at the phone, his mind blank. It’s horrifying, terrifying, torturous, being here again, the last place he’d ever have wanted to see again. His body hasn’t stopped shaking since they took him and he’s ice cold and barely able to keep himself upright. They let him call Alberto already, but Alberto hadn’t answered his phone. He can call someone else, still has some time. They won’t interrogate him without Alberto. But they’ll send him to a cell eventually and Dani isn’t sure he’ll cope. Doesn’t think he can cope.

Sometimes, an image of Marc pops up in his head, big, round eyes, staring at him full of disbelief and fear when they made him get into the car and Dani wishes he would have said something to the younger. Could have said something. Or anything. Reassure that it will all be okay – only, Dani doesn’t even believe that, so how should he have convinced someone else of it?

The guard looks impatient now and he really needs to call someone, because if he doesn’t, they’ll take him to a cell immediately and that’s something he wants to push off a bit further. His fingers shake while he dials and he knows that he’s not calling the person he should be talking to right now, but he can’t talk to him. Not yet. Maybe not ever, because he’s going to be a bad influence for the younger. Would only corrupt him.

The time waiting for someone to pick up his call seems endless, but then he finally hears a familiar voice, mumbling a sleepy “hello” into the phone.

”Cal? I really messed up.”

_Quand on se donne on se livre_  
_On se dessine tout bas_  
_On se déchire_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> _Je Reste_ , Amel Bent


	36. Far Away

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ♥ ♥ ♥

”What happened, Marc?”

”They arrested him.”

The words are enough to make the tears flow again. Linda shoves a tissue into his hand and then somehow he finds himself on their couch, blanket around him and tea in his hands, Linda sitting next to him and giving him concerned looks. It takes so much time, maybe minutes or hours, so much strength and effort, before he manages to tell the whole story, more stuttering than talking. All the while, her hand is on his and if he hadn’t realized he’s gay recently, he’d probably fall for Linda.

”It’s not his fault, Linda, it’s all my fault. Only my fault. He attacked me. Dani only wanted to protect me.”

She sighs and puts an arm around him and they’re both still sitting like that, time flowing slower than molasses, when the door opens to reveal a sleepy Vale, clad in boxers and rubbing his eyes while also yawning.

”Hey, what happened?”

***

The second he sees them on his couch, Marc in so much distress, Linda so openly helpless, his heart plummets through the floor, makes him feel the worst. And when Linda tells him the story, Vale concedes that it’s close to a worst case scenario.

”Have you tried to call Alberto?”

”Mhm,” Marc is mumbling into his tea and Vale’s heart breaks a little. God, he’ll never learn to deal with seeing Marc in pain. Not in this life. He wonders if it’s a way of parental thinking, if Marc would find it strange if he knew? Though it’s not that strange when you put everything together, when you remember the Vale has been there all these years, saw the tiny boy who couldn’t hold up his bike by himself grow into a young man.

_Have I been ready all the time?_

He steals a glance at Linda, marvels the way she’s taking care of Marc, gently, sweetly. Every gesture, every word reassuring.

_You _would_ make a great mom. Damned. You already are. In a way._

”Have you tried Jorge or Emilio?”

”I’ve tried,” Marc sniffs, “before I came here actually. They wouldn’t open the doors. Vale, please, Dani looked so scared. You have to help him.”

Marc sounds like he’s begging and it reminds Vale of the little boy who tried to make him let him start with a broken collarbone. Against his mother’s wish. Reminds him of that same wrecked voice Marc had then. And the pout is still there, too. Vale’s heart shatters over it, every time. He feels filled with rage, completely irrational fury, over the fact that Jorge and Emilio wouldn’t let Marc in, didn’t help him. Anger at the police even, for taking Dani away. On this day of all days. And Scott? That boy better not cross Vale’s path anytime soon, he wouldn’t guarantee for anything.

”You know what?” He heads for the door determinedly already. “I will drive over to Jorge’s. I know where he has his spare key and I’ll find him. Then we’ll try Alberto again and if that doesn’t work, I’ll make Jorge call Ruben.”

”Really?” He sees the hopeful spark in Marc’s eyes, the bitten bottom lip, trademark of the champion.

”Yes, really. We’ll get him out there.”

And even though he’s definitely mostly doing this for Marc, he’d also do anything to help out Dani, who deserves all kinds of things but not _this_ and whom he hopes won’t suffer too much.

”Vale, pants,” Linda’s voice reminds him, hint of a chuckle within it.

He grabs jeans on his way out and by the time he’s climbing into his van, he’s almost dressed. At least, he has pants on – open, but on – and there’s a shirt dangling around his neck.

He allows himself a cigarette, in the van, for once, fiddles his arms into the shirt and breaks any speed limit. _Jorge Lorenzo, you better have a good excuse for not opening that door._

When he’s running up to Jorge’s doorstep, he’s mostly dressed and running his hands through his hair, trying to be somewhat presentable. And he doesn’t bother with ringing or knocking, just grabs the spare key from its flower pot and lets himself in. There’s sounds coming from the kitchen and he rushes in there with a few measured steps, stumbling over a man who’s clearly Jorge’s height and figure, but blond and just not one bit Jorge Lorenzo.

They stare at each other, both frozen to the spot and Vale feels blue eyes pierce his own, distantly acknowledges that whoever this is looks like a damned fine catch. Maybe feels the tiniest bit of jealousy over the fact that apparently, Jorge gets whoever he wants straight into his bedroom. At least, that’s how the situation looks to him, with the man only wearing worn out jeans, nothing else. And damned, those abs are something.

”Hey, have you figured out how the coffeemaker works? There’s milk in the-“

Jorge stops dead in the hallway, towel around his waist and hair wet, small puddles forming at his feet.

”Vale?”

”I- uh-“

”Is he your boyfriend?” The other guy sounds genuinely pissed. He relaxes visibly when Vale and Jorge simultaneously shudder and squeal no.

”I- uh… I’m his business partner and uh… very sorry about this. But we have a friend who needs help and uh-“ Vale isn’t sure how much he can say with the guy around and Jorge shoots him a worried look.

”Oh… okay. I’m Alvaro,” the other holds his hand out and Vale takes it, barely resisting a smirk and a comment when he sees the recognition wash over Jorge’s face behind the new guys back.

_Jorge Lorenzo, have you hooked up with a stranger and were you actually too drunk to remember his name?_

”Vale,” he says, returning the other’s smile. “I’m really sorry, okay? But Marc knocked this morning and you wouldn’t let him in and we really need your help.”

Jorge looks genuinely concerned now and Alvaro is considerate enough to leave rather quickly. So Vale finds himself at Jorge’s kitchen table, both of them sipping on their coffee, Alberto’s phone still on voicemail only.

”You know, I thought… if we can’t reach Alberto you could maybe ask Ruben?”

Jorge coughs and glares at him and well, Vale doesn’t blame him. Remembers how those two split because of Ricky.

”Do it for Dani?” Vale knows this is a low blow in a way, but it’s also really true. And from all Marc told him, really urgent.

”Okay,” Jorge mumbles with a tired sigh and Vale can’t even say how many rocks that makes fall from his chest, “I’ll call Ruben. Outside. With a cigarette. Alone.”

Jorge stomps away without turning around and Vale takes the moment to breathe, finally. Feels like it’s the first breath he’s taking all day. Outside, Jorge is pacing and talking into his phone, gesturing wildly with his free, cigarette holding hand. Vale can’t help chuckling, because he _knows_ exactly how Jorge’s voice sounds right now. That tone of exasperation and indignation. He’s seen and heard these outbursts so many times. And it’s crazy to think that they’ve been barely speaking a few months ago. How dumb they’d both been. He shakes his head and finishes his coffee, looking up when Jorge stomps back inside, cheeks still flushed but smiling contently.

”He’s driving up. He’ll be at the police station in about an hour and he’ll try to call in a few favors to get to talk to Dani. He thinks we should still try for Alberto, but he also knew Alberto had a conference in France, so even if we’d reach him he probably couldn’t do that much.”

”Okay.” And it really is, because somehow it’s calming to know that something is being done, even if it’s with an uncertain outcome. At least, help is on its way and for now, Vale thinks he couldn’t do anything else anyway. Then, he fills both of their cups with coffee again and nudges the younger man’s shoulder, smirking devilishly.

”So, Jorge, I must say you have a damned fine taste in men,” Vale says, reveling in the way the younger blushes, “Spill your secrets, where’d you pick that one up?”

***

Linda’s phone call comes when Julia has just taken the boys to the track and she’s back to being by herself. It’s strange, Roser thinks, that Marc isn’t here, with them, but instead at Vale’s place. It says a lot. Just like the fact does that he went to Jorge’s the other day. Somewhere along the way, at some point during the past year, he grew up and they lost him in a way. Sure, she’s proud of him and yeah, she always wanted her sons to be independent, strong. But now that she’s achieved it with the first one, she’s not sure how to deal with and doesn’t even know if she can possibly deal with it. It’s heartbreaking for a mother to adjust to these changes in their relationship, to accept that he turns to others for help more and more by now.

Linda’s call left her worried about Dani, too, which is strange, too, considering she didn’t like the man all that much to begin with. But this sounds like something he doesn’t deserve and if what Linda said is true, that Dani only kept Marc safe with his punch, then Roser thinks he deserves a medal instead of an arrest. She’d been so proud last night and for once, that’s not just been because of Marc’s achievements but also because what he’d done, just stepping out there and coming out to all of them without batting an eyelid, that had been impressive. She can’t help feeling slightly proud of herself, too, thinking she must have done something right to raise such an upstanding young man. And the thought of how brave Marc and Dani had been only makes her more furious at Scott. _That kid better not come close to me_.

She sighs into her morning coffee and hopes there’ll be better news over the course of the day. At least, they don’t have these worries with Alex. Yet. After all, when she told Julia she was so glad Alex was still “theirs” only, Julia had given her that strange smirk. That wink that said ‘I know something you don’t know’.

”You have no idea… we might have lost Alex to someone else a while back already,” he hadsaid. And Roser is beginning to develop theories on the mysterious person’s identity.

***

Cal promises to keep calling Alberto and that’s all he can do right now. Dani wishes he could also call Marc, because all over sudden, all he sees is Marc’s face and all he wants is to at least hear his voice for a moment, knowing he’s okay. He can’t though and then, not even having heard the words addressed at him, his arms are pulled behind his back again, handcuffs clicking. The sound cracks through the air, sounds like an explosion for Dani and he panics, openly, air suddenly scarce and his legs giving in.

He ends up on his knees and the guard, one he remembers from last time, only gives him a dirty grin.

”On your knees again already? You haven’t forgotten anything, huh, Pedrosa? I had no idea you’d be so eager for it.”

Dani squeezes his eyes shut, tries to calm his breathing. He doesn’t want to show his weakness, doesn’t want them to have that satisfaction on top of everything else. And when the guard is just about stepping into his private space, close enough for Dani to smell him, cigarettes and fast food, the door opens and for once, a miracle in favor of Dani happens. Because another guard enters, whispers hastily with the first, things Dani doesn’t understand, but that end with his handcuffs gone and a phone in his hand, unfamiliar voice at the other end of the line.

”Hey, uh, I’m Ruben. Jorge told me what happened and I’ll be there in a few, preparing your defense. Don’t say anything until I’m there, okay?”

***

He sits in Vale’s garden, blanket still around his shoulders. He shivers anyway, though it’s more because of his emotions than because of the air around him, which is all but cold by now, in the early afternoon hours. Marc’s fingers fidget with Vale’s lighter and he’d love to light a cigarette, if only to have Dani’s smell around.

”Don’t,” Linda appears out of nowhere, snatching the little box from him, “Dani wouldn’t like you to get started with these and you’re not helping him with that.”

Marc _really_ hates how everybody seems to be mature but him. One day, even Alex will outgrow him in that aspect.

”I miss him,” he whispers. Nothing but the naked truth. All he’s thought of all day is Dani and how much he wants to hold him now.

”Ruben will do his best,” Linda says, her hand on Marc’s shoulder.

Marc knows that she’s right. And he’s grateful Vale, Jorge and Ruben are doing this. For him. For Dani. But it’s not the same as having Dani back and patience isn’t one of his virtues. He grits his teeth and balls his fists, wants a moment alone with Scott somewhere just to show him what he thinks of him. Not going to happen anytime soon though.

”Want to spend the night?” Linda asks after a while, but Marc shakes his head.

”I’ll stay at Dani’s.”

Because he’ll feel closer to Dani when he’s in his apartment, when he can breathe in his scent from the sheets.Wear his used T-Shirt. His finger toys with the new ring. Thinks of the little note that came with it and bites his lip to stop himself from crying again. _If I know what love is, it is because of you._

_Oh you’re far, far away_  
_One day you’ll come back to stay_  
_No distance can separate us_  
_In you and me I trust._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> _Far Away_ , Ocean feat. Leon Taylor  
> The quote is Hermann Hesse ♥


	37. Wings

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ♥  
> I hope you're okay with the way this is going and not disappointed... I've worried a bit the past days.  
> ♥

Linda watches the red wine twirl in her glass and leans back, head finding the usual spot against Vale’s shoulder. They fit perfectly… and she thinks not just regarding their bodies. Her free hand toys with the hem of Vale’s hoodie, she lets herself drown in the smell of his detergent and aftershave and she feels at home. 

”Do you really think we should have let him go?” 

It’s cute how much he cares. How he treats Marc like another little brother. Or maybe even a son. And well… Vale _would_ look good with a son. At least, that’s what she thinks.

”I don’t think we had a choice.” Linda tilts her head up, purses her lips. The kiss comes promptly and Vale tastes like cigarettes and wine and everything she ever needed.

She understands why Marc wanted to go to Dani’s place. Completely. She would have done the same, would have ended at Vale’s, in one of his shirts, on his side of the bed. Actually, that’s what she’s done before, every time Vale had been kept hospitalized.

”It helps, you know,” she whispers, their eyes locked, her fingers running over his stubbly cheek.

”What does?” His voice… it’s hoarse, unusually so.

”When you miss someone so much that it physically hurts, it helps to be at their place… smelling them, feeling them. It makes you feel as if they were closer.”

She blinks, but she can’t keep the tear from running down her cheek. He sweeps it away with his thump and she can see that he understand, can see the guilt in his eyes. That’s not what she wanted, it’s something she’d never want.

”I’m sorry, I didn’t want you to feel bad about anything. I _chose_ you, your lifestyle included. And I love you so, so much and as long as I know that you’ll always do your best to come home to me, I will gladly accept that there might be days, where that won’t work out.”

***

He found the little note in his hallway, on the little shelf he keeps his car keys on. It’s just a number, but only one person could have left it there. And every time Jorge spots it, the white paper with the scrawny blue numbers seems to mock him. It makes his head spin and his pulse race, but he can’t quite bring himself to call. Too big is the fear of rejection, after the clumsy path this morning had taken. 

Alvara… Jorge rolls the name on his tongue. It’s enough to make him shudder, the flashbacks returning once again. Alvaro’s blue eyes have burned themselves to Jorge’s memory permanently it seems and damned, he does look impressive. Jorge chuckles, remembering the way Vale had almost started drooling over him. When he wouldn’t have Linda, he would have tried his luck, that’s what the other had told him.

It’s ridiculous, ignoring the note. He should be happy that Alvaro left it and he should be trying to get in touch since he found it. Damned, he’d had the guts to call Ruben this morning. Jorge sighs, he should at least be able to send a text.

 _Hey, sorry about this morning. Anything I can do to make it up?_

_Cook me dinner? ;)_

_That’s all?_

_Depends…_

_On what?_

_Will you be my desert?_

Jorge groans. _Wow._ That guy knows how to play.

_Come over now?_

He winces as soon as he hits the send-button, afraid he’s giving away that he’s too eager.

_Not sure, I’m still a bit stuck at work. But I’ll try. Hope to see you soon xx_

It’s not a no. It’s not exactly a yes either, but it’s not a no. Jorge shuffles into his kitchen, gets started on throwing together a simple pasta dish. After all, he could have a visitor soon’ish.

***

Marc sits on Dani’s balcony, in the darkness, a blanket over his shoulders. He’s resisting the urge to light a cigarette, Linda’s words still echoing in his head. He has taken one of the bottles of beer from the fridge though. And he’s shivering, despite the blanket. More from nervousness than from coldness.

Every part of him yearns for Dani, the images of their encounters here popping back up in his head. He loves Dani, that much he’s figured out by now. What he doesn’t know is if he can do the whole relationship-thing. He’d been determined, for years, to have this – and now, that he finally does, it’s only driving him insane. Because he’ll never be enough, will never be able to be there as much as he should be. If all of this had happened on a race weekend, Marc ponders, he wouldn’t and couldn’t have helped. He would have been stuck at whatever race they were at, forced to still do his best. And that’s the other issue. This season is an easy one, below his capacities because his mother wouldn’t let him move up before he had graduated. Next year, he’d be pro. And that would be the hardest year of his life, one where he couldn’t end up on a balcony with beer. Where he couldn’t afford just being with Dani on a Friday night. 

Dani would deserve a better boyfriend, one who can offer time and support and understanding and it breaks Marc’s heart to acknowledge it, but he might just be the wrong guy at the wrong time.

***

One hour. They’d said one hour. It must be more by now, the sun having set a while back, sky out the small window completely black. Dani tries to curl up on his chair, his body still shaking and trembling. The movements cause him pain, make him wince. He can’t stay. He simply can’t. He bites the inside of his cheek, taste of copper now lingering in his mouth. His nails are digging into his own jeans, helplessly. It’s so cold. So damned cold. And as he’s done all day, Dani tries to focus on Marc’s face, tries to recall every detail, every line, every little scar. Tries to imagine the sound of his laughter. It’s what’s been keeping him upright and alive through the ordeal, the only thing worth fighting and coming back out of here.

_I want to go home. To be with you. Only want to be with you._

***

Curled up on Dani’s side of the bed, Marc has just about dozed off when his phone rings. A number that he hasn’t saved pops up and he answers hastily.

”Hello?”

”Marc?”

”Yes.”

”It’s Ruben. I’m bringing him home, okay?”

Marc’s mind goes blank because he simply can’t believe it. Not one bit.

”When?” He asks breathlessly. While he waits for a reply, his heart stops beating from nervousness.

”Now. We’re practically on our way.”

 _In the moment we’re lost and found_  
_I just wanna be by your side_  
_If these wings could fly_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> _Wings_ , Birdy


	38. Powerful

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so, so much ♥ ♥ ♥  
> (Sorry, I always try to resist writing those little lines practically begging for feedback, but every once in a while I get so horribly self-conscious about everything and worry just so much that I have to check who's still around reading :/ I'm really sorry. It's a stupid habit.)
> 
> BTW: There've been a few hints here and there already about Dani's background and his ordeal in prison. I've tagged for implied/referenced non-con now. It won't be graphic in the story, but there'll be allusions to it every once in a while.

Ruben hangs up on him, doesn’t say more than that they’ll be there soon. The thousand questions on Marc’s mind, most importantly, _how is Dani?_ remain unanswered. So Marc ends up staring at his phone’s screen for a while, body paralyzed and brain slow on the uptake. When he steps inside, going to the kitchen window, where he could watch the street, his legs feel heavy. His whole body does. He should be plain out joyful, but somehow, he figures, he’s just too exhausted to express the gratitude and happiness that he’s feeling. It’s not a new thing, it’s happened before, after important races or championships, that instead of jumping around and grinning, he’d find himself collapsed on a chair, face in his hands and feeling _nothing_. 

He barely notices the stray tears on his cheeks and he honestly doesn’t have a single coherent thought on his brain while he stares into the black sky, watches the stars. It’s ridiculous to be standing here already, they’ll need at least twenty minutes to drive, but what else could he be doing? With his forehead against the cool window, he keeps staring at the road, shivers in Dani’s hoodie that he’s put on to sleep in. It smells like Dani. _His_ Dani. Marc gulps, remembering his earlier thoughts. _Am I selfish? If I was doing what’s best for Dani, would I leave?_ His feet stay frozen to the spot though and every time he spots the headlights of a car, his heart does a little flip. 

Marc doesn’t know much about Ruben, the savior who’s bringing him his boyfriend back. He used to be friends with Jorge and then kind of wasn’t anymore after the Ricky-turmoil. Which, again, is something Marc knows little of. They consider him a child, he knows that and it’s right, he _is_ a child compared to Vale or Jorge. So they don’t tell him much about these things and the entire Casey and Ricky disasters have been kept surprisingly quiet. As a result, he’s now not even sure what kind of car he’s looking for. All he knows about Ruben is that he has a degree in law. Marc wonders if he’d been with Jorge. Or Ricky? If that’s what happened. His thoughts drift off, his mind restless, his eyes still scanning the streets for any signs of an approaching car.

It’s a small, silver sports car, Audi, Marc assumes, that parks next to the building eventually. Marc’s heart doesn’t do its usual flip. It simply stops beating altogether. He can see Dani climb out, his movements seeming a bit stiff. It’s too dark to tell more. The driver’s door opens, but he sees Dani gesture a bit and then the door closes without anyone getting out. Dani walks up to the front door and Marc tries to make it to the apartment’s door on his wobbly legs. The sound of the doorbell, though he expected it, feels like a jolt of lightning. He presses the button to open and then waits, the steps on the tiled stairs coming closer. They echo in his head, loud and louder and then _he’s_ there. Dani. And he stands on the other side of the door with an expression of relief and shock at the same time, mirroring Marc’s emotions perfectly.

Neither of them gets a word out. Marc just can’t find anything worth saying and then realizes that he doesn’t want to say anything. He simply lunges forward, pulls Dani into his arms. Dani goes rigid for a moment and Marc is about to let go, to ask if something is wrong, when the smaller collapses against him, head buried in the crook of his neck. _Finally._

He moves both of them backwards to close the door at least and then stops, his back against the hallway wall and Dani pressed against his chest as close as possible. All he wants is more, closer, tighter and he buries his nose in Dani’s hair, breathes in Dani’s scent, his hands clawing to the back of Dani’s – borrowed from wherever – shirt. Dani’s fingers are fisted in the back of his hoodie and Dani’s weight is resting against him, the older obviously drained and wrecked.

When Dani looks up at him after what feels like the longest moment in Marc’s life, the most intense, uncomparable waves of relief washing over him, Dani’s eyes are watery and red, but they’re also full of trust, Marc thinks. And there’s the tiniest hint of a smile around his lips.

”Bed?” Marc croaks, not quite trusting his voice. It’s past midnight and the day has been mortifying, so he could do with some rest.

Dani just nods and they never break contact on their way, slowly and awkwardly crossing the apartment in their embrace. Dani’s breath is hot against the skin of Marc’s neck, tingles his nerves. And even if a minute ago he would have said he’s absolutely ruined, when he feels Dani so close to him, his hearbeat vibrating through Marc’s chest, the younger only _wants_ , blood rushing down already.

By the time they’re at the foot of Dani’s bed, room dimly lit by the table lamps, Marc reluctantly lets go and takes a tiny step back, cautiously eyeing Dani.

He’s surprised to see Dani’s eyes dark, blown wide. When he tentatively reaches for the hem of Dani’s shirt, watching the olderman’s face intently, he sees an almost imperceptible nod. Marc removes the fabric deliberately slowly, his hands then running over Dani’s bare arms, the sculpted muscles of his biceps. He trails along the collarbones and is about to map the planes of Dani’s chest, when his heart sinks and he gasps, probably audibly.

His eyes fly up towards Dani’s face, anger already boiling in his veins. And he wants to ask, but he can’t form the words, his mouth opening and closing without a single sound coming out.

”It’s okay. Ruben had them check it,” Dani whispers, gaze lowered.

He looks like a chided kid and it breaks Marc’s heart and at the same time makes him see red when he thinks of what happened over the course of this day.

”Did they-“ Marc tries to connect the dots, somehow doesn’t even want to realize it though and feels his entire body shake with emotion.

”No,” Dani’s voice is barely audible. “Don’t-“

Dani doesn’t say what exactly Marc shouldn’t do, but he can imagine. For now, he’ll respect the wish, won’t prod for anything more. He’s not sure he can keep quiet about this forever, but he can for tonight, hopes he can as long as Dani needs him to.

Gently running his hands along Dani’s sides, feeling the shudders he causes, Marc pushes and moves the smaller until he has him sitting on the bed, back against the headboard and the sheets under him still rumpled from Marc’s earlier nap. Dani looks at him with pleading eyes and Marc leans forward, brushing his lips over Dani’s, feeling the stubble on Dani’s cheeks with a shaky finger.

Dani doesn’t object when he begins to explore, sensually and slowly, mapping his torso while carefully avoiding the bruises that are forming all over Dani’s abdomen and ribs. He likes the feel of Dani’s skin, smooth and warm over the firm muscles and now covered with tiny goosebumps. Marc wants to be closer, wants to lose himself in Dani, make them merge into one. His lips follow the movements of his hands, pressing feathery kisses to every dark splotch. He can tell that Dani is holding his breath, hears the faint whimpers and when he cants his hips forward a little, the movement confirms that yes, Dani is very much interested in _this_ as well.

It’s strange, how this is even an option. Now. But somehow, Marc thinks it’s exactly what both of them need, closeness, intimacy. Knowing this is real, they’re together again. Dani’s fingers are clenched in the sheets with white knuckles already. Marc is straddling him and pulls away a little now, eyes silently asking for permission.

”Yes. Please.” Dani breathes the words. He understands, without that Marc needs to say anything. And maybe that’s why Marc’s so lost, has fallen so deep… they connect like soulmates, cliché or not.

He barely breaks eye contact with Dani while he sheds his own clothes, feels Dani’s eyes on his body, burning. His fingers are clumsy when he removes Dani’s jeans and shoes, his eyes already on Dani’s cock. Dani is hard and beautiful and his chest heaves a bit irregularly. It almost makes Marc growl, because damned, Dani wants _him_. Of all the guys he could have.

”Are you tested?” Marc has no idea where the question even comes from. Or how he managed to say that without choking. But the words are out and Dani is staring at him, mouth slightly agape and pupils pitch black now.

”Marc… seriously?”

He nods, his cheeks blushing. Dani growls and nods.

”You trust me, right?”

Dani nods again and Marc feels nervousness and anticipation added to the neverending list of emotions he goes through during the course of this night. When Dani starts scrambling for lube, he snatches the bottle from him. There’s a moment where Dani’s eyes look horrified, but the look is replace with raw lust when Marc doesn’t move his hands to Dani’s ass but reaches behind himself.

It’s something he’s only heard of, something Dani’s always done. Until now. And it feels strange, awkward, uncomfortable, pushing in _there_. Only the look on Dani’s face, that purest desire Marc has ever seen, keeps him going, scissoring himself. Rougher than Dani would have done it, but somehow, after the slow build up, Marc suddenly feels a lot of urgency.

He lets his forehead drop against Dani’s and Dani is stroking his back now, erratic lines and patterns, while whispering little endearments into his ear. Marc could come like this, he realizes, his cock twitching between their stomachs. He wants this, wants Dani, wants to feel Dani, properly.

”Can I?” He asks, feeling self-conscious and terribly inexperienced.

”God, yes. Please.”

With his bottom lip bitten and his breath held, Marc lowers himself. It’s a solemn moment he thinks, feeling Dani bare. And it’s uncomfortable, burning, but not hurting the way it did the first time. Marc manages to let himself sink down all the way, his breathing ragged by the time he’s made it.

He lifts his head, meets Dani’s eyes and starts moving, Dani’s hands on his hips helping him to find a good rhythm. They should have done this earlier, because it’s beyond perfection. He’s clinging to Dani, legs wrapped around his waist and their chests flush against each other. He can feel Dani’s breath and heartbeat and it’s like this time, they’re truly becoming one. It’s intense and hot and Marc keeps wanting more, eventually thinks he starts begging loudly for more. He moves frantically, needs to feel these sharp thrusts. All he can think of is how he loves Dani, needs Dani, so much. So incredibly, painfully much that it almost brings tears to his eyes.

He wants to memorize this, thoroughly. Tries desperately to use the last functioning cells in his brain to save these moments, the images of Dani’s head falling back and the sounds he’s making, those high pitched whines, the feeling of their sweaty skin against each other and the heavy scent of them and Dani’s detergent and their aftershaves mixing. He wants it to last, forever, to remind him of what could have been. Should have been. And it feels like he’s melting into Dani, like he’s losing himself completely, his thoughts dissolving and his world only consisting of their synchronized movements and moans.

Marc wouldn’t be himself if he hadn’t quickly learned his way around this position, found the right angle to roll his hips if he wants, needs, Dani to meet his prostate. Preferably on every thrust. The electric sparks it sends through his body are almost wiping him out and he’s babbling incoherent things, nails clawing in Dani’s shoulder, all his muscles shaking and twitching because damned, Marc never wanted to come as bad as he does right now.

Dani hasn’t even touched him, only kissed him, sucking a bruise in his neck, when Marc’s world explodes into colors and white noise, his come hot and sticky between them. Dani doesn’t stop though, keeps thrusting up until Marc distantly hears another scream, possibly of his own name. And then he can actually feel it this time, Dani shuddering and spilling hot inside of him. When Dani stops shaking and pumping, Marc sags against the older man. His head automatically finds the right spot in the crook of Dani’s neck, where they fit together like a jigsaw puzzle.

It takes a long time for his ragged breathing to return to normal and he feels absolutely ruined when he comes back to his senses, his thighs burning and his ass already sore. And his brain fried, his emotions on overload. He pulls back, still breathless, eyes watery. And then meets Dani’s gaze, which again mirrors his own emotions perfectly.

Dani’s face is beautiful like this, his lips kiss swollen and his skin flushed and glistening with sweat. Marc trails a line along his jaw, feels how he shivers. All of it, Dani’s wrecked little whimper, his perfect face, his body with the appalling bruises, it’s too much, makes Marc’s heart clench and his guts twist and the tears that have been burning behind his eyes forever now slowly make their way down his cheeks.

”Hey,” Dani whispers, a hand running through Marc’s hair now.

That touch. It’s burning and sending shivers down his spine, makes him want and crave more. There’ll never be enough Dani for him, Marc thinks, realizing he’s definitely fallen way too deep.

”Are you okay? Did I hurt you?” Dani sounds concerned and Marc is ashamed, thinks it’s a little ridiculous to sit here crying, while he’s still naked in Dani’s lap, after their best sex so far.

”No, don’t worry. It’s been perfect.” Marc smiles shyly and wipes the tears from his cheek. “It’s just… I love you. So much.”

_When you hold me in your arms_  
_Burns like fire and electricity_  
_When you’re close I feel the sparks_  
_Takes me higher to infinity_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> _Powerful_ , Major Lazer feat. Ellie Goulding and Tarrus Riley


	39. Enjoy the Silence

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry I've been gone too long again. It's a bit because of not feeling well, a bit because of a general unhappiness with this chapter and the story and just everything and a lot because the way this season has ended has just been heartbreaking (for me anyway and I'm so angry with the riders and the fans and maybe just the world in general).
> 
> Thank you for all the kind words and sweet feedback and the subscriptions (woo!!! ♥) and just everything, it's very, very appreciated and the number one reason why I do keep coming back to this (writing and the fandom in general) ♥ ♥ ♥
> 
> Anyway, as some have read already, I'll have surgery next week and I'm not sure how long it'll take before I can type comfortably again, so I'll stay scarce. And as it is a tradition to leave with a cliffhanger, here you go... (sorry about that as well.)

_All I ever wanted_  
_All I ever needed_  
_Is here in my arms_

”I love you, too,” Dani mumbles into Marc’s hair and holds him closer.

He doesn’t want to let go. Maybe he cannot even let go anymore, maybe they’re just inseparable? At least, he’d like to think that. After today though, he has his doubts. With all the baggage he’s carrying, he just feels like a burden. It’s like he’s invading Marc’s little innocent cloud and only bringing along grief and horror and trouble. Corrupting him, that’s what he’s doing. And still, the way Marc looked at him earlier, that has been pure relief and happiness and Dani wants, Dani _needs_ to believe that Marc really felt just that.

_Am I being selfish? Am I dragging him down?_

Marc’s nails are digging into his shoulder and Dani’s mind returns to reality, to the feeling of Marc hot and sweaty, against his bare chest. He can feel the younger man’s heartbeat, vibrating in his own body and though it hurts his bruises, he still drags him closer. It hits him, just now, what they’ve done, how far they’ve gone. How much trust Marc seems to have. Dani wonders how he ever deserved that. How he could ever repay that, especially considering that he’s struggling with trust. A lot.

”Shower or just sleep?” Marc’s voice comes out a bit muffled as his mouth is still against Dani’s skin.

”Just sleep, okay?” Dani smiles and pulls back a bit as he wants to see Marc’s face. It’s beautiful and perfect, just like he’d envisioned it earlier, when he tried to take his mind away from where they kept him, away from what they were going to do. And that Ruben guy? He hadn’t said much in the car, had respected Dani’s wish not to speak about what happened and had only revealed so much as that he’s been sent by Jorge and that he has orders to drop him off at his apartment where Marc would be waiting. Dani thinks he needs to find out more about that, needs to thank Marc and Jorge and also Ruben, but not tonight.

Marc nods against his shoulders and they sag into the mattress, still clinging to each other. When Marc’s arm reaches for the table lamp, Dani hesitantly takes his wrist.

”Can we just… keep it on?” It’s embarrassing to even ask that as a grown up man and Dani’s face is turning red over it, but still, better than to wake up screaming.

”Sure.” If Marc suspects anything about the reasons behind Dani’s request, he’s not giving it away, curling up against the older as before.

They drift away in each other’s hold and the sound of Marc’s breathing does the trick of allowing Dani to space out, to stop thinking and to stop remembering. There’s silence in his head, finally, after day that’s essentially just like a nightmare, but with the best possible happy end.

*

He wakes up soaked in sweat and from his own tossing and turning. For an instant, he’s back _there_ , smell of _his_ aftershave and sweat filling the room, darkness around them. Muffled noises, blood rushing in his head, his stomach twisting. And pain, everywhere. Dani’s heart races, waves of panic washing over him until the sounds filter through, enter his brain, Marc’s voice replacing everything. Soothing.

He blinks his eyes open and it’s not dark, the table lamp still pouring dim, warm light over the room. And it smells like Marc and laundry and faint traces of smoke. Except from the throbbing in his head and some discomfort in his torso, there’s also no pain. Dani releases the breath he’d been holding and waits for his heart rate to return to normal.

”You with me now?”

Marc’s voice again, soft and reassuring, while a hand tentatively rests on his forearm. Dani nods, not quite trusting his voice enough to speak. Not sure he remembers how to form words in the first place.

”Do you need something? Anything?”

Not only is Dani at his most fragile now in the first place, no, the way Marc is absolutely lovely and wonderful and caring and concerned also makes the older feel so guilty. All the baggage he’s carrying, bringing into their relationship, it’s going to crush both of them. He shakes his head with his last strength, then collapses back into the pillow, eyes squeezed shut and covered with his arm, trying to make sure Marc at least won’t see him cry.

At least, Marc stops speaking, but he also looms over him, taking the arm away. Dani feels Marc’s lips against his skin, hot tongue licking up each drop of salt, a hand running through his damp hair and slowly, he begins to relax – almost against his own will, against better knowledge, against the feeling that he should let go. But with Marc’s ministrations, he can’t help but feel safe and comforted and yes, home. And this is how it should always be. How it should always have been. He wraps an arm around Marc’s waist, pulls him in, over him. Closer, ever so much closer, Marc’s lean body blanketing his own.

*

The next time he wakes up, sunlight is streaming in through the gaps in the curtains and there is no cold sweat on his skin, no racing pulse. He’s oriented, well aware of his whereabouts and his companion. He props himself up on trembling elbows, looking down on Marc, who is on his side, eyes wide awake and gazing at Dani. There’s the hint of a smile playing around Marc’slips, but there’s also something else, a new kind of scrutiny, curiosity, worry, shading those dark eyes that somehow have become the anchor in Dani’s life.

And then Marc speaks again, raspy morning voice and all the seriousness, all the weight of the world in his words.

”Dani, I- this night- you- you have to tell me what that was about. I need to know. To understand. Because I don’t know if I can do this anymore.”

 _Words are very unnecessary_  
_They can only do harm._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> _Enjoy the Silence_ , Depeche Mode


	40. Dreaming of you

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the cliffhanger, sorry for the huge wait, sorry for this chapter which is really, really short. It's been a hard day to remember and to write about and I can't do it any better I'm afraid ♥
> 
> (Also sorry if you're one of those disappointed by the end for Push me to the floor ♥ I said it would end badly though, I just was in a mood like that.)
> 
> On another note, I just re-watched el convidat with Marc and cried my heart out b/c when he showed his Rossi-bikes and I think I'm ready to let go now of my anger towards all of them... ♥

”You’re probably right.” Dani stares straight at him for a moment and there’s something in his lover’s eyes that makes Marc’s heart sink, that instantly tells him this isn’t going where he planned or thought it would be going. “You’re right.”

Dani repeats the words and his voice is so blank, so even. In his head, Marc’s blood is rushing louder and louder by the second. Maybe it’s all just a bad dream? He gulps and shudders, feeling incredibly surreal, with the bright sunlight streaming in, the warmth on his bare skin and the coldness that begins seeping into his veins from the way Dani is turning away now, burying his head in the pillows.

”This won’t work,” Dani is mumbling into the covers, but Marc still understands him, each word hitting like a bullet, “I’m sorry, Marc.”

Marc’s mind goes blank, completely and utterly blank. Switching to autopilot-mode, he leaves the bed, his legs unsteady and his hands shaky. Putting on his clothes takes longer than it should, as his nerves fail him and his fingers refuse to function. Eventually, he’s halfway decent and he staggers out of the room without even turning around, without a word. While he heads for the apartment door, the small part of him that is still capable of thinking at all, that is not paralyzed by Dani’s reaction, it hopes, prays and begs. For something. Anything. For Dani calling his name, asking him not to leave. Or for Dani to follow him, stop him, pressing him against the door and devouring him. And again, asking him not to leave. But nothing happens. And the moment the apartment door closes behind him, realization sinks in. Completely. _It’s over._

It’s not how Marc thought this would go. Not the confession or explanation he expected to hear from Dani. And this is not how he thought relationships would end. No fight, no discussion, no nothing. Just a sentence, spoken by Dani with such a neutral voice that Marc believes the older really wants this to be over.

For a while, he’s leaning against the wall of the apartment building, breathing heavily and whole body shaking. But he doesn’t cry. Or yell. Or do anything. Because even if he wanted to, he couldn’t say how he’s feeling right now. Basically, he feels nothing. Emptiness maybe. Hopelessness. When he pushes himself back, starts walking home, he’s still on autopilot, still not making conscious decisions or plans. He just does what his body tells him to, pushing his bike back to his parents’ house. To his home. He snorts. Dani was home and Dani is gone, so Marc is homeless, right?

It’s ironic how it’s such a beautiful early summer day, with sun and warmth and singing birds. It doesn’t even do anything to warm Marc’s body, the icy coldness still running through his veins. When he’s at his house, he drops the bike in the driveway and walks straight up to his room. His parents and Alex are having breakfast and eyeing him questioningly, but he can’t talk, can’t find any words on his brain to explain. He simply can’t grasp it himself. When he comes back down the stairs, changed into running shoes and shorts, his mother is standing in the doorway, trying to stop him. The way her thumb brushes over his cheek, the way she says “Baby, wait,” it sounds so pleading, it only makes him hurt more. Because he somehow feels he’s let her down with all of this.

”I’m going for run,” is all he says, kissing her cheek before he heads outside. And then he runs and runs and runs. He doesn’t know how long or how far, only that his legs start aching and that the pain in his muscles is a good distraction from the pain in his chest. He doesn’t really notice the tears on his face anymore, doesn’t have an eye for the nature around him, doesn’t really process anything. Running does that for him, makes his mind numb, only floating thoughts in his head. And he doesn’t stop running until he’s vomiting into the shrubs from exhaustion, until his body refuses to take him a single step further. 

***

Dani alternates between smoking on his balcony, drinking in his kitchen and tossing and turning on his bed. All he wants is to go to sleep, finally, because then the thinking would stop. And the pain would stop. And maybe he’d stop seeing Marc’s face, the sad eyes, the hurt expression. But without Marc, Dani no longer has a barrier against the nightmares and so he can’t go back to sleep, has to stay awake, has to go face the reality where he’s just thrown away the best thing that happened to him. 

Of course, it’s only for their best. Because Dani would never have forgiven himself for ruining more of Marc’s life than he’s already damaged. Right now, that’s no consolation. And he’s still shell-shocked at how easily Marc left, no fighting, no begging, no asking Dani to change his mind. _You just walked out on me._

And though he knows that he’s being unfair, he can’t help the thought that Marc hadn’t even tried to convince him otherwise.

_Up in my lonely room_  
_When I’m dreaming of you_  
_Oh, what can I do_  
_I still need you, but I don’t want you now_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The Coral


	41. All I Want

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this is kind of brief, it's kind of not "my side" of the story and that makes it more difficult to get into it or "reach depth". I hope it's still okay and that you still get the "feels" ;) ♥

_All I want is nothing more_  
_To hear you knocking at my door_

It’s the pain in his ribs that eventually makes him get up again and he makes it as far as the kitchen table, washing down painkillers with leftover Tequila. It feels a bit like he can watch himself, sees his own wrecked body in the worn-out sweat pants, dark bruises all over his torso. His hair must be a mess and he doesn’t doubt that his face looks simply terrible. Scruffy. Wrinkled. Old and tired. He’s been at this point before, too many times even. And it’s been Alberto’s doing that he got out of it the last time, got over it to end up here. Right now, he’s rather furious at the older for it though. Because now that he’s had a chance and a perspective and a place that felt like home, it feels even worse than before when it’s taken away.

In the first hour or so of the morning, he’d still been somewhat hopeful that his doorbell would ring. Or at least his phone. That Marc would come back. Even if he’d come back angry, yelling at him for not trusting him enough or for sending him away. Even if he’d come back crying or screaming or just punching Dani in the face. But nothing happens and that breaks his heart more than anything because it can only mean that Marc doesn’t even care.

_But if you loved me_  
_Why’d you leave me?_

Dani stares at the bottle on the table and feels disgusted by himself, because this really is a thing he wanted to get away from. The drowning of sorrows. The sulking. When he left and promised his mother not to let this go to waste, he had really meant it. At that point, he’d been absolutely determined to fight. Even when they’d thrown him back into that cell, when they beat him, he’d still been resisting. Struggling. Because it couldn’t happen, not with Marc waiting for him. Not now, where Dani felt like there was a perspective. That maybe he wasn't worthless. Or useless. And yesterday, it seemed that was so very true, because Ruben arrived before they could finish their plans, because he got home more or less unscathed. Because Marc _was_ waiting for him.

And yes, Dani knows he’s not being fair blaming Marc. Marc is seventeen and shouldn’t have to deal with any of this. Strictly speaking, Marc wasn’t the one to break things either. That was Dani, his own unwillingness to talk, his own need to save Marc from knowing. Because the things the younger finds out, he will never be able to _”unknow”_ them. It wouldn’t be possible to cover them up and, as far as Dani learned, it’s not possible to forget them either. And still, even with Dani being older and with Dani _knowing_ that this is better for both of them, still he thinks Marc would have stayed if the younger truly had loved him.

_And all I need is_  
_To find somebody_  
_I’ll find somebody like you_

Somehow, he’ll have to take the edge off. Will have to find a way to cope. It’s too bad he’s in no state to ride his bike, otherwise he’d be on his way to Cal already. He should call Vale though, tell him he won’t be at work tomorrow. Then Dani could get to the city first thing tomorrow. Go to the club at night, search for another guy. Or maybe he should just go with a girl this time… he’s not sure he wants to remember Marc too much and he thinks any other guy would just bring up memories that at this point, better stay buried.

Right now, he has too many images of the younger flashing up inconveniently anyway. Images of Marc’s face when he smiles, the way he’d look up to Dani right after waking up, that mix of surprise and awe that always felt so flattering, so very, very much as if someone loved him. Cared. And yes, Marc looked like he cared a lot. Dani remembers his wide eyes, the shocked expression on his face when he found the bruises. The flash of terror that crossed his look when he realized what they might have been about. Dani loves Marc’s faces, each one. The playful smile when they were fooling around, the look of full concentration before a race, the tenderness when he was helping out with the training for the younger kids. 

_How could I ever think I’d be someone to settle down? How did I think that such a relationship could work?_ Before Marc, Dani hadn’t trusted many people. Not even his last girlfriend, if he’s completely honest. But he managed to trust Marc, enough to have a committed relationship and even enough to go public with it. It’s something he hasn’t really done or believed in until now and somehow, it had been so nice to finally feel like he had a true chance at becoming a better person. As usually though, he’s managed to blow that up rather massively.

Only when a few teardrops fall onto the skin of his hand, Dani notices that he’s started to cry. He pushes himself up with a wince and a bitter snort, thinking that this can’t possibly be what his new life has turned into. He makes his way to the shower and yeah, he should probably call Jorge then. Jorge could be just the right guy to talk to now. Or _talk_. After all, Jorge is not dangerous territory. Jorge is old enough to make his decisions, to know what he’s getting himself into. Jorge wouldn’t become attached to him and Dani thinks he wouldn’t become attached to Jorge either, so it could be just what he needs. And maybe or hopefully something Jorge needs just as much. A bit of closeness, some distraction. A shared bed. It could at least help to keep the nightmares at bay. So yeah, Dani should really call him after that shower.

_So you brought out the best of me_  
_A part of me I’ve never seen_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> _All I Want_ , Kodaline *sniff*


	42. High and Dry

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the delay and the upcoming heartbreak. "My" side and I admit, not one of my finest moments. I hope you'll still enjoy(?) the story and I hope the next update won't take quite as long though I don't want to promise anything right now.  
> I miss you guys ♥

_Flying on your motorcycle_  
_Watching all the ground beneath you drop_  
_You'd kill yourself for recognition_  
_Kill yourself to never ever stop_

Marc just wants to race. Needs to race. And of course this happens on a Sunday and of course the track is closed and with the way his parents stare at him when he stumbles back into the house, he doubts anyone would take him to the Dutch track. Except… he has that one idea. And Marc stomps past everyone, ignoring their worried eyes, already dialing Emilio’s number. Needless to say, the older isn’t impressed with the idea, but at the end of the day, he complies and once Marc has showered and changed, Emilio is waiting outside, Marc’s KTM loaded safely already. He feels his mother’s hand on his forearm, just before he’s stepping outside.

”Baby, tell us what happened, please.”

”I’m fine,” is what he presses out between his gritted teeth and then he slumps into the passenger seat.

The drive is torturously quiet. Stony silence surrounds them and Marc _knows_ Emilio is watching, hell, he can feel Emilio’s badly hidden concerned glances. And deep down, he also knows how immature he’s being, how unreasonable. But he wipes that away, making a mental note that after all, he _is_ only a teenager, something they don’t get tired of reminding him of. So why could anyone expect better of him? He rests his head against the cool window of the car, ignores the uncomfortable vibrations that sends through his body and stares outside, the familiar mix of fields and pasture flying by. Ride. He really, really needs to ride.

They still haven’t spoken when Emilio has the car parked. Haven’t spoken when Marc has changed and takes his bike from Emilio. He has his back to the older already, adjusting the helmet and goggles, when he hears the other’s voice, surprisingly sharp.

”Whatever you’ve done and whatever he’s done, don’t put anyone in danger when you get out on that track. And that includes you.”

It’s not something Emilio would typically say. Not really. And it throws Marc off kilter for a second, takes him out of his cloud of rage and anger for an instant. When he turns around though, Emilio has turned his back towards him and is walking back to the car. It stings for a second, before Marc manages to switch back into anger mode, hopping on his bike with a shrug. _I don’t even care anymore._

***

He’s fast today. Damned fast. Emilio leans over the fence, cigarette in hand and eyes never leaving the orange and black form of his favorite rider who is almost flying over the mud. It’s impressive, that much is for sure. And, Emilio snorts bitterly, _if we’d known that’s what it takes to get even more out of you, maybe we should have broken your heart all the time_.

Though he’s not worried anymore. There is, and Emilio admits that it surprises him, there is absolutely nothing reckless about what Marc is doing. He’s respectful to the other riders, passing the mostly much slower amateurs with a distinct distance. And as close as he is to his own limit, he manages to stay just on the ride side of the razor’s edge, the bike at times moving dangerously, but never quite throwing him off. And Emilio has known that Marc is talented for years now. He’s also known that Marc is especially talented for a bit. Today though, today might be the day where he realizes that the boy is outstanding. _Because there’s a maturity in your riding that’s mind-blowing. Even if everything else you’ve done today was a perfect example of teenage immaturity and spite and frustration, on track you function like a pro._

***

Riding is good. Better than good. It always is. There’s drizzle coming down, the track is slightly muddy and slippery but mostly hard and quick and Marc loves it, every second of it. Anything that happened, it’s vanished the moment he kicks the bike into gear and feels the familiar throbbing of the engine, the rhythms that keep his body together. On track, there’s no Dani, no love, no heartache and no memories. There’s only the wind in his face, the fluttering in his stomach when he runs along the straight and jumps the hills. There’s the adrenaline rushing through his veins, endorphins released making him smile despite the exhaustion, despite the burning in his thighs and lungs and the trembling in his arms. Riding is freedom and happiness and there’s nothing else he needs in this world. Nothing and nobody.

”Good job,” is all Emilio says when Marc brings the bike back. And there’s a new sort of pride in the older man’s eyes, a new look Marc can’t quite read yet. But maybe he’s just too tired to figure it out.

”Thanks,” he says, his voice breathless. Everything hurts, like it should after a decent workout. And he wants a shower, a hot long shower. For now, he throws the dirty clothes in the back of the car and changes back into his jeans, leaving the bike to Emilio as usually. The routines, they’ve been established this way for years, their training together here established since Marc’s childhood. Routines are good, Marc thinks, slumping in the passenger seat. _I really don’t see why I wanted to change anything about my life._

The same landscape passes him again and everything is blank and okay, the sorrow kept away at arm’s length, until they’re closer to home, almost there actually. They pass Vale’s garage, obviously, and that’s when everything comes back at once. Marc’s eyes become watery, the scenery outside blurring and when they park on his parents’ driveway, tears are streaming down his cheeks. Because all the memories, all the feelings, are hitting him again and damned, they’re hitting hard. It seems there’s no way to escape, like he’s bound to see Dani’s eyes in front of his own for the rest of his life. And it’s tearing him apart how much he wants to go to Dani’s place, to make amends, to wrap himself around the older and force him to love him back. But it’s something he can’t do, won’t accomplish. Maybe the first time in his life where he wants something he can’t get and where he had a mission that he failed miserably.

Later, under the soothing heat of the shower, he’s still thinking of Dani, nothing else but him. Now, the images are sensual, hot. Dani naked, looming over him, biceps trembling and breathing ragged. Dani’s stubble scraping over Marc’s cheeks, making his skin tender and red. Dani’s calloused fingers around Marc’s dick. He moans into the shower, reaches for himself and watches an imaginary slideshow of naked Dani-images in his head, every single one perfect. 

When he’s back to seeing “first-night-Dani”, dark eyes so hungry, so very, very desperate for Marc, that’s when he spurts against the tiles, knees giving immediately.

”Oh fuck,” he groans, finding himself on the floor, hot water still pouring down. _How pathetic is this?_

Much later again, in his favorite jeans and a T-Shirt that’s a bit too tight for him, he stomps his way out of the house, phone in hand and scrolling through his contacts for the right number.

”I’m going out,” he announces into the living room, barely looking at his parents. And that’s not how they usually do things. Not asking for permission. Not agreeing on a curfew. No explanations or plans. But his parents don’t try to hold him back and Marc wouldn’t care, not if he’s honest.

He’s relieved when there’s an answer on the other end of the line, a concerned “Marc?”

”Hey, I wanted to go out tonight. That club you told me about, would I get in there without ID?”

 _Drying up in conversation,_  
_You will be the one who cannot talk_  
_All your insides fall to pieces_  
_You just sit there wishing you could still make love_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> _High and dry_ , Radiohead


	43. Inside

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Tiny warning: I'm heavily sidetracked atm and I don't know how long the next update for this might take. The cliffhanger isn't for the weak at heart I think?! (But I promise they're not as dumb as they look?!)
> 
> Thank you all massively for the generous feedback for the last chapters! I am so, so grateful for your support, you're what keeps me going, even if writing/sharing this isn't always easy ♥ ♥ ♥

“Okay, you have to fuck me.”

Jorge stares into Dani’s face, looking for a joke that clearly isn’t there. What the hell?

”Dani, are you drunk?”

”No, you don’t understand, you have to fuck me. Now.”

The thing is, Dani is looking damned serious and this is the worst timing ever, because how he could explain this scene to Alvaro is beyond Jorge, whose brain is short-circuiting. In a moment of panic, he grabs Dani’s elbow and pulls him into his hallway, slamming the door shut. _No reason to involve the neighbors as well._

”Dani,” he hisses, staring at the slightly disheveled older man, “Dani, what the fuck?”

***

It’s too early for the club, Marc can see that. He doesn’t really know what else to do with his time though and he could use some distraction. Also, he probably shouldn’t be going there by himself, right? People go clubbing with other people. While he subconsciously starts to make his way towards Pol’s house, he ticks of a list of possible partners in crime in his head. Pol had made it very clear on the phone already that he had no intention whatsoever to go to that place. Much less on a Sunday night. Vale? Marc is sure Vale has been there with Casey, but now Vale has Linda, so it’s probably not a good idea. Emilio is out of the question. So, Jorge? Marc isn’t sure he’s close enough to Jorge to ask for this. They have a somewhat distanced relationship somehow. He couldn’t quite explain it, but he’d always felt a bit rejected by the older. While Vale and Aleix have always been welcoming and happy to share and teach and especially to allow Marc into things he’s too young for, Jorge has been the reluctant one, the correct one, the guy to remind everybody that no, Marc wasn’t old enough to drink yet. That Marc shouldn’t be up in the middle of the night. That kind of stuff. But maybe things changed between them? Jorge helped him when he ran away. And Jorge helped him get Dani back. And anyway, with Jorge being his last option, it’s obviously worth the try.

***

”Okay, would you mind explaining your dramatic appearance?”

Jorge is leaning against the kitchen door, arms crossed in front of his chest and glaring at the small heap of misery sat at his table. Alvaro hadn’t been too convinced that this didn’t mean anything but at least the blonde hadn’t fled – yet?- and chosen to smoke a cigarette while Jorge tries to sort this. Still. Dani better come up with a good reason for this, because if he doesn’t, Jorge isn’t guaranteeing for anything.

”We broke up.”

_Fuck. That might be a good reason to go crazy. But still…_

”Okay, I’m really sorry to hear that. Really sorry. But please tell me how me fucking you would improve that? What gives you the idea that I’m good for rebounds anyway?”

”Nothing,” _Shit. Stop sniffing. You look miserable enough without tears streaming down your face._ “I didn’t want you as a rebound guy. Or for revenge or anything. I just need someone to fuck me. To forget about everything and clear my memory and then I’ll be okay to let Marc fuck me. And I won’t have to explain anything else and I can fix things.”

Dani buries his face in his hands and Jorge is pretty sure he’s not just sniffing but sobbing at the moment. _Shit._

”Sorry, but you’re not making much sense right now.”

Jorge sighs and tentatively rubs Dani’s back, but that only seems to make the sobbing worse.

”So, what’s going on?”

Alvaro’s head appears in the door, eyebrows raised questioningly. _Yeah. How do I explain that to you?_

***

When he walks up to Jorge’s place, he has played out many scenarios in his head. Ways of how his might go. Jorge agreeing, Jorge not agreeing. Jorge threatening to tell his parents or Vale. Jorge yelling at him. The one thing Marc hadn’t expected was the sight of Dani’s bike greeting him. Mocking him and his childish plans. _I should have known you’d do that. I really should have known. All along. You love me my ass._

***

Alvaro helps him manoeuver Dani into the bedroom and they leave him there once Jorge is sure that Dani’s fallen asleep from exhaustion.

”Drink?”

Alvaro is kneeling in front of the fridge, holding up a bottle of wine. Jorge takes a moment to appreciate the sight, the blonde looking quite hot, shirtless and tan, smiling broadly. _You fit well into my kitchen…_ Jorge likes how the other already feels at home enough to grab them a drink and glasses. Somehow, there’s that easiness between them, that simple way of just fitting. Just like Alvaro didn’t leave after Dani crashed their evening. Alvaro stayed around and gave him time, time to explain who Dani was and why he was here. And as if that wasn’t enough, Alvaro even understands and helps. _So after I forgot most of our first date and Dani kind of interrupted the second, we should really speak about a third now, right?_

***

After that revelation, the realization that Dani only played with him, that Dani runs to Jorge the second they’re in trouble, Marc is furious. Absolutely, completely, totally furious. A red cloud of anger is blocking his vision and stopping him from thinking straight and anyway, who cares if people usually go clubbing in groups? Marc won’t be clubbing, Marc will be hunting. Until he finds someone. Anyone. Who’s capable of pressing him against a brick wall in a shabby back alley and who’ll fuck him and then leave without turning into some ghost that haunts Marc in his dreams. Just something casual, only fulfilling needs. And if Marc has a say in it, that’s how his private life is going to work for the next decade or two.

The music in the club is loud enough to hurt his ears, the bass vibrating through his veins and he’s had a drink, something that burned his throat and numbed his senses. And the haze of anger is still there, while he grinds and rubs against strangers on a crowded dance floor. Marc’s mind is cloudy, blurry, with the flickering lights and the intoxicating smell of all these aftershaves and a bit of alcohol, sweat and smoke. He doesn’t see any faces, doesn’t care, he only wants and needs and craves distraction. And maybe payback. And certainly another drink.

”Never seen you here before,” a low voice rasps into his ear and Marc turns to face the guy who said it.

”Maybe you didn’t pay attention?”

”I wouldn’t have missed a pretty face like yours.” The other smirks, a calloused finger running over Marc’s jaw. It doesn’t feel like Dani’s touch. It’s too firm, too demanding. But maybe that’s just better, something different.

”Well, you wouldn’t want to waste the occasion, would you?” Marc tries for a cocky smile.

He must have done well, because the other is quick to lean over and kiss him. It’s like an assault, too much tongue, too much pressure. And he tastes bitter and smells wrong. But he’s here – and Dani’s not. Marc follows willingly when the other puts an elbow around his waist, pulling him along towards the restrooms.

They’ve almost made it into one of the stalls when a familiar voice echoes through the room.

”Marc? What the fuck do you think you’re doing here?”

 _And if you think_  
_That I’ve been losing my way_  
_That’s because I’m slightly blinded_  
_And if you think_  
_That I don’t make too much sense_  
_That’s because I’m broken minded._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> _Inside_ ; Ray Wilson/Stiltskin


	44. Recovery

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for an evil cliffhanger, for making you all wait forever and for posting this one in a complete rush. Sorry, I'm writing this at the track, between the runs. I hope it's still okay to read and thanks for being patient with me ♥
> 
> Replies here and over at "Take it slow" probably not before tomorrow morning! We're still on the track and will be for a while.

_Oh darling, sweet lover, won't you help me to recover..._

_I think this is how being dead feels._ Marc wakes up with a headache from hell and for a tiny moment he wonders which hospital he’ll be in and what accident he had. Until he realizes that it doesn’t smell like a hospital. It’s more… reeking? Like a dumpster? And actually, he feels his stomach twist, _he_ might be the source of the stench. With a pained groan, he blinks his eyes open, finding the room semi-dark, only silhouettes recognizable. He can make out an unfamiliar drawer, a desk that he hasn’t seen before. Dark curtain. He’s pretty positive he’s never been here before and his brain isn’ t functioning quite yet and won’t give away the memories of what happened last night. At least, a glance to the side confirms that he’s alone. And in his T-Shirt. No, actually, it’s _a_ T-Shirt, but not his. Also, he’s feeling really sick and this is not helping at all.

”Bathroom is out of the door and to the left,” a voice from the right corner of the room says and Marc jumps, which in hindsight, was a terrible idea.

Now, his head is pounding _and_ spinning and the contents of his stomach are halfway up his throat.

”Hold on,” a strong arm grabs for his and then he’s pulled and shoved along until he’s kneeling in front of a toilet. And he might be losing his guts here.

After an eternity of retching, groaning and sweating, a cool hand comes to rest on his shoulder.

”Better, champ?”

Marc nods and now, he’s at least clear enough to recognize the voice.

”Ricky,” he croaks with a hoarse voice, “What the fuck?”

***

Dani wakes up on a couch. Notably, _a_ couch. It’s not his couch. Because he doesn’t have a leather couch. He also might be dying here. Yeah, he’s pretty sure he’s dying. That’s what the agonizing throbbing in his head indicates. _God. I shouldn’t be allowed to drink ever._

He tries in vain to remember something from last night and he needs to put a leg down on the floor, that’s supposed to help with the spinning walls and all at least. With a bit of difficulty, he can recreate enough of the past day to know that yeah, he broke up with Marc. That leaves him devastated and in tears until he realizes that he is still lying on a couch that he isn’t sure whom it belongs to. Marc’s parents do not have a leather couch and neither does Jorge… and Dani remembers going to Jorge’s. With the intention of… _Oh fuck._ His face heats up with shame, because he’s pretty sure that actually happened, him ringing at Jorge’s door and begging his coworker to fuck him there and then. 

So it’s not really a surprise he’s not at Jorge’s place, but he can’t figure out what happened later. Yeah, Jorge had a guy over. Alvaro, Dani thinks. And that’s Jorge’s boyfriend now and damned, that’s been embarrassing and he remembers Jorge and Alvaro fighting and then him and Jorge fighting, but he thinks they also were sitting out on Jorge’s terrace, drinking beers and smoking, all three of them? It’s a blurred memory, but he doesn’t think he’s making it up. Even if his life depended on it, he couldn’t figure out how that led to here.

And that pain, that’s not just a hangover. His fingers tentatively run over his jaw and cheek, finding it swollen and there’s some dry blood he thinks. Did he get in another fight? Knowing his luck, he probably did something incredibly stupid and it’s for his best if he just prepares for the arrival of the police. But before that, he’ll have to find a bathroom.

He’s made it into a sitting position when there’s a head appearing in the doorframe. A familiar head. _Oh shit, what have I done?_

”Uh, hi, Dani… I just wanted to check on you. Are you – okay?”

”I- Linda, uh, I have a thousand questions but please, can you show me the way to the bathroom?”

***

Ricky lets him take a shower to restore some of his state and hands him some clothes, sweatpants and a fresh shirt, without asking anything. And Marc doesn’t say anything either, everything agreed on wordlessly for now. Though he sees Ricky’s face and cringes, somehow having an idea that it might be his fault. But the way he’s feeling right now, he can’t really digest the information anyway, much less process anything.

After a shower and using the toothbrush Ricky found him, he feels more like a human being again. A very sick one at that, but at least, reasonably human. He pads along the hallway in Ricky’s small apartment, instinctively finding the kitchen. 

”Tea?”

Ricky is sitting at the table, pointing to a steaming mug and Marc nods, sinking onto a chair gratefully. For a while, he just sits there, hands warming around the porcelain and eyes studying the wooden surface of the table intently. And he still doesn’t dare to look up when he finally asks what has to be asked.

”What happened to your eye?”

***

Dani loses the fight against his stomach and ends up retching miserably, to the point that Linda knocks against the door again, making sure he didn’t need a doctor. He’s not even sure he’s throwing up from the hangover, somehow, he’s more sick from that bad feeling in the pit of his stomach. That vague knowledge that he’s done something dumb and that he’s in trouble. 

When he’s quiet for a moment, sitting on the cool tiles and realizing that the sweatpants he’s wearing aren’t his, there’s another knock against the door.

”Hey, uh, Dani – could you open for a second? I just want to give you a towel and some clothes.”

_Great. So you’re here, too. And you’ve seen me like this. Well. I’ll expect my notice on the breakfast table then._

He opens the door a few inches, not wanting to see his boss’s face right now.

”Thanks, Vale,” the words come out hoarse, his throat raw from earlier.

”Don’t worry about it.”

_Don’t worry about it. Yeah. As if that was even possible._

After the shower, he dares to look at his face in the mirror and he’s indeed spotting a fine black eye there and he has a smallish cut on his temple. _Fuck._ Vale even handed him a toothbrush, so he’s almost decent when he leaves the bathroom. Almost as in everybody in this household is three times his height and he had to roll up those sweatpants and that T-Shirt could be a nightgown.

He finds Vale’s kitchen, now recognizing his whereabouts better and they’re sitting at the table, Vale and Linda, with that same look between sadness and disappointment that his parents would have had.

”There’s tea for you,” Linda points to a cup and Dani accepts and sits down, his cheeks probably deep red and his eyes on his own hands. He just can’t look at them right now.

”So, uh-“ Valentino coughs, “you remember why you’re here?”

***

”Wait, you mean it’s my fault that you got beaten up?”

”No, it’s not _your_ fault. He hit me so it’s his fault. And I couldn’t very well let you go with him and feed you to the sharks. Jorge and Vale would have had my head. Hell, your mother would have killed me herself if she’d heard a single word about that.”

”Is he that bad?”

”Marc, seriously? He’s twice your age… no, I think more than twice your age. And he’s known to do this, get boys drunk or drugged or both and then taking them for a quick fuck. And damned, you were so eager, rubbing against him like a little kitten.”

Marc’s stomach turns at that revelation and he can’t look at Ricky anymore. Maybe he’ll never be able to look at Ricky ever again.

”I’m so sorry. God, I was so stupid and Ricky, really, I’m so sorry.”

”Don’t worry about it. Max deserved the lesson and I think his face isn’t looking any better than mine. And by the look of it, you’re suffering quite enough right now to call it even.”

Marc can’t even find words to express his gratitude for the way Ricky is dealing with this. Not only that he saved him from doing something unbelievably stupid last night, he’s even being stupidly nice about it now.

”And well, you don’t remember what happened after either?” Ricky sounds a bit insecure and something in his voice lets an alarm shrill in Marc’s brain.

”No,” he says hesitantly, “is there something I should know?”

”Uh- well, you didn’t want to go home because you said your parents couldn’t see you drunk. And I didn’t really want you here, to be honest, so I thought I’d best drop you off at Jorge’s. And uh- well… that didn’t go so well-“

***

”Marc?” Dani feels the heat rise, spread over his cheeks, while his stomach and hands suddenly feel ice-cold.

”Okay, listen, we weren’t there, so this is only Jorge’s rundown, okay?” Valentino hands him another cigarette, the two of them on the balcony now, after he’d had to flee from the kitchen after the things they told him about last night.

Dani accepts the cigarette and nods. “Okay, tell me what he said.”

”You showed up at his place and wanted – uh – him to fuck you,” Dani cringes and looks away, unable to face Vale, who also looks a bit pink and then the older continues, “Apparently you guys had settled that and you were drowning your sorrows when Ricky wanted to drop of drunk Marc, who didn’t want to go home. Well, drunk Dani seems to have thought Ricky and Marc had been involved in, uh, indecent activities and started yelling insults. Which is almost funny, because as far as I heard, Marc had passed Jorge’s house earlier already and deduced that you and Jorge were fucking like bunnies. So he thought his assumption was right and instead of insulting you, he preferred to lunge forward and beat you. And it seems your ex has an impressive right hook.”

Of all the horrible things he’s just heard, the words that are ringing in Dani’s head are _your ex_. Because right, he ponders, I messed that one up already.

***

Marc is sniffling into Ricky’s shirt, the other holding him awkwardly after he started sobbing uncontrollably. After everything he’s done yesterday, he doesn’t have much appearance to lose in front of Ricky, not much dignity left to defend anyway. 

”You need to calm down now, okay? It’s going to be okay.”

”How should that be okay? I punched him. He’ll hate me. And never forgive me.”

”Listen, going by the snippets I’ve heard, you’ve both been incredibly stupid.” 

Marc flinches at the choice of words, but Ricky just shrugs.

”Yes, you have been dumb. Both of you. And stubborn. And now, since Jorge didn’t want anything to do with either of you after that night, which I totally understand, Dani is at Vale’s, hopefully hearing the same lecture that you’re hearing and you know what? Today is your lucky day, because tonight you’ll be having dinner. At Vale’s. Both of you. And before you say a single word, we’re covering in front of your parents, all of us. They don’t need to hear about the shit you’ve done. But we’re not letting you off the hook that easily. I don’t know Dani at all, I don’t know you all that well, but I do know that last night could have gone to hell for both of you and you’re damned glad it didn’t. So while I don’t care one bit whether you two get together again or not, I agree 100 percent with Jorge and Vale that you need to fix that up to a point where you can look at each other without screaming or punching.”

***

”Dani, can I ask you something?”

He’s sulking on Vale’s couch, nibbling on dry bread and wishing he could be swallowed by the ground, when Linda sits down next to him, eyes full of concern.

”Sure,” he shrugs, glaring at the bread as if it had the sole responsibility for the mess he’s in.

”What happened between you and Marc?”

”Would you let go if I said I don’t want to talk about it?”

”No, sorry,” she sits down next to him, a hand on his knee and smiling gently, “I care about you way too much to let you act so stupid.”

”How do you know I’ve been stupid?”

”Marc made you so incredibly happy. Seriously, every time you looked at him, your eyes got all sparkly. You don’t throw that away – unless, of course, you’re stupid.”

”It’s a long story.”

”Well, it’s still a long day until we’re having dinner with you and Marc.” 

”We’re having what?” Dani’s heart pounds and he feels a rush of panic rise inside him.

”We’re having dinner together. You’ll talk about it. You need to settle this. You’re working here, you won’t be able to avoid him. He won’t be able to avoid you. Vale can’t have you in a fist fight at his store one day.”

”But I can’t go back. We can’t go back. I’d only corrupt him. Look what I’ve gotten him into already. Linda, please,” Dani buries his face in his hands, “maybe it’s best if I leave.”

”You’re not running away,” her voice is suddenly stern, “this time in your life, you’re not running away. Because I’m not letting you be a coward. Because I believe that you can do this, be the good guy we all met and loved, for us and for Marc. You’ve done nothing bad, nothing that could possibly _endanger_ Marc. And you’re staying. No discussion.”

***

”Marc, before I send you in there… Jorge told me a bit of what happened and together with the drunken rambling you and Dani let out over the night, we think we figured out why you guys broke up.”

”Mhm.” Marc stares at his hands. Not that he wants to get out of the car in the first place. Dinner at Vale’s, with Dani, sounds horrible. How do you face someone you punched?

”Why do you need Dani to say anything? You know what happened to him anyway, don’t you? Even if he doesn’t tell you, you still _know_. Why do you need him to say it out loud when it obviously hurts him so much to do that?”

***

When the doorbell rings, Dani considers running out the backdoor and leaving over the balcony. Vale stares him down as if he reads his thought and so Dani stays, glued to his chair, his eyes staring down the plates. He can’t believe Vale and Linda are doing this, hosting the dinner, sending Luca to stay with a friend for the night, forcing them to talk things out… and he sure doesn’t understand why. All he knows is that he’s terrified to face Marc and the distant sound of his voice, saying hi to Linda in the hallway, is enough to make Dani shiver from head to toe, tears dwelling up in his eyes.

”I’m sorry.” Dani lifts his head reluctantly, Marc in the doorway with teary eyes and wobbly lips and if he wasn’t so scared, if he wasn’t terrified of Marc’s thoughts about all of this, he would probably jump up and hug him and tell him everything was okay.

As it is, Dani has to evade Marc’s gaze before he breaks out in tears and barely manages to mumble a quiet “Me too.”

 _It's a long road up to recovery from here_  
_A long way back to the light_  
_It's a long road up to recovery from here_  
_A long way to making it right._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> _Recovery_ ; Frank Turner  
> (If you don't know the song, go check it out! It's a perfect match from the first to the last line for this chapter :) )
> 
> Also, sorry to Max Biaggi... again, someone has to be the bad guy. ♥


	45. Walk

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much to everyone who took the time to comment on last nights update ♥ That was so emotional to write and so difficult to share and your kind words mean so, so much to me!
> 
> Tonight is a brief one (bad cliffhanger, sorry in advance) but this is, if possible, even more difficult to put into words. But it's almost Vale-chapter... so #hopedieslast

_I'm learning to walk again_  
_I believe I've waited long enough_  
_Where do I begin?_

It’s not the romantic comedy reunion that’s always promoted on TV. It’s not the “we talk about things and everybody understands and hugs and cries and then we go home together” that Marc has secretly been hoping. Maybe – and that’s probably one of those things about growing up and all – maybe, he has to realize that his ideal of a relationship, the whole going out, dancing and then having passionate sex and breakfast where everybody looks pretty, is just that: an ideal. Not real life.

Nothing bad happens either, that much he must admit, too. He’s relieved when Dani tells him that nothing happened with Jorge. Really relieved. He still doesn’t tell Dani why he’s so jealous, that deep down, he always felt so very inferior and immature. But at least he knows it wasn’t like that. And he apologizes a million times and Dani says it’s okay – and somehow Marc thinks it really is, because there’s that tiny spark of anger left inside him. _You did go there to fuck. So I _was_ right about your intentions._

He explains about Ricky and Max and yeah, he gets why Dani is angry. He gets that all Dani sees is how desperately he was looking for payback. And he owes a lot to Ricky, that’s understood, too. Linda and Vale eventually politely leave them to themselves, but they still don’t really talk about any of their true issues. And whatever Ricky said, Marc still wants an answer and he knows Dani still won’t give it and actually, they both seem to agree that it’s not working. 

”Maybe we were just trying too hard and too fast?” Dani says at one point and Marc feels that icy-cold shiver, that twist of his guts and knows that they’re not ending this with a kiss.

”Will you still do my bike? You’re… I mean, you’re still the best.”

Marc stares at his hands and fidgets. Dani really is, it would be a shame to lose a great coworker over this.

”Uh- if you want. Yeah. But only professional, yeah? With separate vans.”

It stings and might make Marc’s eyes watery, hearing that. In all clearness. He looks away when he agrees and nods, not wanting Dani to see how much it breaks his heart.

”Yeah. Professional.”

There’s not much left to say after that and he lets Vale take him home. His parents think he’s spent a day with Vale and Linda to distract himself and they’re painfully understanding about everything. Even the fact that Dani will still be his mechanic.

”That’s very mature of you guys,” his father says. Marc almost punches the wall.

_You keep alive a moment at a time_  
_But still inside a whisper to a riot_  
_To sacrifice but knowing to survive_

Dani doesn’t do what Linda told him to. Because he’s still completely convinced that he’s not ready to be the kind of boyfriend Marc needs and deserves. He might be one day, but he’s not yet. And he won’t break Marc more than he’s already done and he won’t stand in the way of a promising career. The bisexual curiosity, Marc could always defend that with sponsors and fellow riders. The rest, not so much, Dani thinks. He’d never mentioned it to Marc, but what if Marc made it to the top and people found out he had a criminal as a boyfriend? Because being gay or bisexual would be just about difficult enough, but Dani sure isn’t someone to present on a red carpet.

Stepping back isn’t easy, because seeing Marc sad breaks his heart. Because he yearns for Marc, too. But he’s convinced that he’s doing the best thing he’s done in his life and even if it’s going to hurt a lot, he’ll also try his best to be the best mechanic Marc could wish for. Linda glares at him when he leaves, but he thinks Vale understands. There’s something knowing in the man’s sad smile when he sends Dani off. 

”It’ll be okay,” Vale says, pulling him into a hug. And yeah, Dani thinks, it has to be.

_The first decline another state of mind_  
_I'm on my knees, I'm praying for a sign_

Jorge can’t count the times he’s apologized to Alvaro about the mess and he can’t believe how incredibly lucky he is that the older actually seems to understand and even agrees to another attempt of a date – at his place. And over the next weeks, he finds some of that lightness back that he’s had when things with Ricky were still okay.

From the distance, he watches Marc and Dani and he knows Vale is doing the same. They often end up smoking together, discussing the two. And yeah, they’re only two during smoke breaks, since Dani stopped the day after the break up. He has changed a lot, the little sad guy, Jorge thinks. Thrown himself into work even more than before, running a lot, training on a cross bike from Vale pretty seriously. And he’s getting quite good at it, too. He says he doesn’t want to race, he just wants to understand the bike better – and that’s working out really well. The only thing he finds worrying is the way Dani doesn’t seem to deal with people at all anymore, never joins any parties or dinners, simply ends up at home. And he visits that friend, Cal, Jorge thinks, a lot. He’s heard a club mentioned and he’s not sure he likes that.

Marc has changed, too. If possible, he’s more ambitious than he was anyway. He’s training every single day, working out more than ever. He’s losing the teenager-look and turning into a young man, at least on the outside. On the inside, Jorge isn’t so sure. He’s definitely changed there, too, but in contrast to Dani, maybe not for the better? Marc is so serious now, so studious in everything he does. Professional. Rational. The trademark laughter isn’t there anymore – and Jorge never thought he could miss that sound.

Overall, Jorge and Vale agree that from a racing perspective, things have worked out well. Marc’s wins are absolutely undisputed, whichever class he chooses to compete in. From a personal perspective, they find it heartbreaking. Sometimes, they start plotting things, start to discuss ways to make Marc and Dani see that they’re still somehow into each other. Because really, the sad-puppy eyes are painful to watch. But every time they do that, Linda seems to sense it and tells them rather drastically that they are not allowed to mingle and they're doomed to wait for something to happen. Anything. As long as it makes these two fools move towards each other again.

And that’s how an eventful spring turns into a steadily flowing summer season, the break finally coming a bit closer. Even Vale is planning a vacation, wanting to reward Luca, who apparently passed his grade with the help of the younger Marquez. Jorge will spend the time with Alvaro. And both of them will worry endlessly about Marc and Dani and at some point, Linda asks them when they decided to be adoptive parents. And everything seems to go the predestined path until the night before he’s supposed to be going on vacation. Where someone hammers against his door in the middle of the night and the meltdown Vale and him had been hoping for has apparently occurred.

"Jorge, please, I need your help."

_I'm dancing on my grave_  
_I'm running through the fire_  
_I never wanna leave_  
_I'll never say goodbye_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> _Walk_ , Foo Fighters


	46. Fade To Black

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well, this is not quite where I planned to stop telling the story. But for now, where I can't seem to find the energy to update, it seems better to stop. Hopefully, this will just be a break and I'll tell the rest and add chapter 47-93 as planned. For now, this is all I can do. Sorry about the pain ♥

”Dani?”

Jorge looks at the sad figure on his doorstep, Dani looking even smaller than usually and buried in a huge hoodie despite the warm weather.

”Can I come in?”

If Jorge had had any hope for good news left, they’d be crushed now, with Dani’s voice trembling and so soft that it’s barely audible. He sucks in a sharp breath, readying himself for a difficult conversation.

”Sure.”

The walk into his kitchen in silence, Dani trotting a few steps behind him. He flops down on a kitchen chair as soon as he’s the room and stares out of the window, evading Jorge’s gaze. _I can’t even read you this way. Damned, Dani, what’s going in on?_

”Jorge. I need you to do me a favor.”

_Okay. That doesn’t sound good at all._

”Marc?”

”Yeah.” Dani coughs and then looks down at the table. “But… I don’t think it’s what you want it to be.”

”What am I hoping for?” Jorge pours both of them a glass of water, mostly to distract himself.

”Well, I think… you and Vale you’re really trying not to show it, but you want us to get along so badly and the truth is, we don’t. We hurt. And I think we keep making it worse by pretending that we can somehow fix it when we actually can’t.”

”I’m sure you could if you would give it time, you know?” Jorge reaches out and pats Dani’s shoulder, but it makes Dani flinch and he’s quick to pull away. “Maybe it’s just a bit early or rushed and-“

”Jorge, stop it, please. That’s what I mean, you know? You’re both trying so hard in a way but this isn’t working anymore.” Dani’s voice gets louder, desperate. Jorge can hear him choke on a sob. “It’s breaking me and I think it’s breaking Marc, too. Jorge, I need you to jump in and do his bike.”

 _Ah. Okay. Well. I could do that. And yeah, it would give them some space, so yeah._ ”Uh. Well. I’d have to talk to Vale and I guess, I’d have to ask Marc, too. But yeah, if you think that will help you guys, I mean-“

”It’s not really a question, okay? I’m not… I’m not staying here. I’ve already put my letter of resignation into Vale’s mailbox and I’m pretty much packed. I’m going home, stay with my family a bit, figure out where I’ll be going.”

Everything, really everything inside Jorge is screaming at Dani. _”But this is your home now. We are your family.”_ All he says out loud is a quiet “Oh.”

”I’m sorry. I know you’ve tried so hard, but I don’t think I fit in. And Marc… he can still fix it, I think. If I go now, he can still find a girl, show everybody he’s the straight womanizer they thought he was, get good sponsorship contracts and keep going. This, me and him, he can always say it was just a fling, just some experiment.”

”Dani, you can’t be serious, Marc would never-“

”I know, not yet. But he will. He’ll realize that it’s better for his career and then he’ll find a girl who can give him everything I never could.”

”Dani, you really shouldn’t do this.” Jorge shakes his head and considers his options, wonders if locking Dani inside and wait until he’s making sense again would be illegal. But somehow, he’s beginning to realize that maybe Dani _is_ making sense. That maybe, this really cannot work the way they were hoping for. It’s the way Dani looks at him tonight, that emptiness in his eyes. It used to be different, there used to be some fire left, even these past weeks. Tonight, he looks like he has given up.

”Dani, I wish I could change your mind.”

”Sorry, I think you can’t. Just promise me you’ll take over my job for Marc, so that Vale can keep being with Luca more. And promise me you’ll tell them I’m sorry, okay? I know I’d owe them a goodbye, properly and in person, but I can’t. And I’m a coward. I’m good at running away though, so I guess that’s what I’ll do, right?”

Dani smiles at him, but it’s a sad smile that never reaches his eyes and Jorge feels his own heart break a little. He can’t say why exactly. He would have expected better of Dani in a way, even if he understands. Still.

”Take care, okay?” He pulls Dani in for a hug and feels the smaller sniffle into his shoulder. It’s one of those moments where life just doesn’t quite feel fair.

”Thank you for everything, okay? You’ve tried so hard and I’m so grateful you did and so sorry I’m letting you down.”

”Don’t be sorry,” Jorge’s voice is hoarse now, too. _I’ll miss you so much, you don’t even know._ “I understand.”

Dani nods and wipes his eyes, chuckling quietly. “How sappy.”

Jorge chuckles, too, bumping their foreheads together.

”Yeah. But really, I can’t believe this is how you’ll end it.”

”Me neither.” Dani pulls away with a shrug. “Though I should have known. It’s just been too good.”

With Dani making his way to the front door, Jorge has no choice but to follow – because actually locking the smaller in won’t be a possibility. _Fuck. Does Marc even know?_

”Well, you’ll always have my number and you’ll always know where to find me, so in case you change your mind, you’re welcome to come back, okay?”

Dani is half out the door already but he turns around again, smiling genuinely this time. The same soft smile that has led to Jorge taking him here for a memorable night only a few months ago. It sends a shudder through him, seeing the older walk away like this.

”I do, thank you, Jorge. For everything.”

He watches him get on his bike, hears the engine come to life, watches him vanish at the end of the road, a strange mix of coldness and anger spreading inside him. Shaking his head and trying to figure out if he’s more angry at Dani being a coward or at Marc for not trying harder, or at Vale for bringing him here in the first place, or maybe himself for not forcing Dani to stay, Jorge walks back into his kitchen and empties a sample sized bottle of Tequila in one gulp. _Vale or Marc first?_ He takes his phone out with him and lights himself a cigarette, staring into an already dark sky, realizing that both of the others might very well be asleep already. It’s strange how everything else seems so unchanged, unfazed. The summer night still comfortably warm, the village lying in complete silence. He watches the little clouds of smoke dissipate in the air and sighs, suffering under all the weight of the conversation, of his knowledge about Dani’s departure. _You need to know though. You really need to know._

He picks up his phone hesitantly, fingers a bit shaky and heart pounding. His head is swirling while the connection is being made as he tries to come up with the words, tries to brace himself for the reaction.

”Hey, Jorge. It’s pretty late, what’s wrong?”

”I just… I wanted to tell you that Dani- Dani is leaving. He’s moving back with his parents.”

 _Cannot stand this hell I feel_  
_Emptinesse is filling me_  
_To the point of agony_  
_Growing darkness taking dawn_  
_I was me but now he's gone._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> _Fade To Black_ , Metallica

**Author's Note:**

> Come Home: OneRepublic


End file.
